After posting here yesterday, I did finally roll out of bed and take a morning walk. I was aware of how out of breath/out of shape I am, but at least I did it without stopping. I’m going to let my body decide on workdays what to do- if I wake up earlier on my own I will walk first thing. And yay, I just went for another walk! My immediate neighborhood is little hills so I went up and down a few streets, did an abbreviated version of my stretching and popped into the shower. This will work if I don’t eat breakfast at home, timing wise. DS is safely home and has been eating super healthy with his uncle, so he will help keep me on track. I may try the air fryer tonight with chicken legs, and salad. I overate yesterday but at least I avoided the fried food at lunch with my colleague, and we split the fries and frappe. I’m going to pack up my salad lunch and stick to it today! Mrs. Calypso- so sorry about your friend’s brother, that is so awful. Gardenerjoy- I like your words about low energy; i’m the same in the heat and its good to acknowledge the reality and not beat oneself up.
I got really into answering Logjammin, so I'll make that my post today. I'm so much better and, yet there are still moments when how to stop eating compulsively is relevant.
Exercise +45, 590/1500 minutes for June
Logjammin: I'm a compulsive overeater. That's a phrase I learned from my brother who went to Overeaters Anonymous. I resisted applying it to myself for a long time. I still refuse to make it part of my identity, but it's definitely a pattern of behavior that I've had since high school, if not earlier.
I did eventually break the pattern. The desire never went away completely, but it's much less frequent and bothersome.
What helped the quickest was to identify the environments that I most associated with eating compulsively. For me, it was my car. I made these rules: "I don't eat in my car" and "I don't eat anything purchased from a gas station or convenience store." I put those rules on response cards and repeated them as mantras while white knuckling it to get home. Of course, that occasionally resulted in unfortunate incidents at home, but it was never as bad as what I did in the car. And, often, getting home was enough to end the whole thing before I had an overeating incident.
What helped the most, over the long term, was a determination to learn from every overeating incident. I was inspired by Day 27 in the pink book "Master the Seven Question Technique" and Success Skill 9 in the green book "Get Back on Track--Right Away" that used a Cheat Sheet to analyze what happened.
Here are the response cards that I made to get myself to do that: Yellow Flag: Experienced a craving. Measures to take: Write in my journal, include the incident in my Beck post the next morning Red Flag: Ate junk food or ate compulsively. Measures to take: Write in my journal, post to the Beck group immediately
Then, I started acting on what I learned from my analysis of each incident. I made response cards to go with each thing. Here are some of the responses that resulted from that.
Eating will not help tired.
I deserve to take breaks and I don't have to overeat to get them. I can do anything on my distractions list or simply breathe and drink a glass of water.
I get more things done by doing things, not by eating.
Effective response to "I don't care": one or more of hula, Nia, yoga, dance to Jimmy Buffett or Dance Cardio. Afterwards, notice how my body feels. Then, I care.
Why should someone else's stress make me fat?
When home alone, either the kitchen is closed or the the TV stays off, or both.
Times when I'm home alone are lousy times for any cooking or baking projects.
I want to be on top of my game for this event which means I want to eat a variety of vegetables and other healthy foods to fuel my brain and body.
One of my issues turned out to be that I used food to compensate myself for doing hard things. I eventually realized that the overeating behavior made the hard things harder, not easier. I made these responses, as I worked through all of that:
Compensation cookies negatively correlate to word count.
Compensation Sabotaging Thought = Resigned attitude = bad for projects
Staying on plan = Determined attitude = good for projects
What can I do right now that I can be proud of?
What can I do right now that will help a little bit?
I am not a ditch digger so I don't need extra calories when I work hard.
The analysis helped me pinpoint some specific things that I really hated about compulsively overeating (and they weren't necessarily the things that Beck suggests) and, conversely, things that I really liked about staying on plan. So I made response cards of those to remind me why I want to stay on plan.
It's easier to stay on plan than it is to get back on plan.
Overeating makes me feel sick, complete with reduced productivity and motivation. I don't like feeling sick.
I sleep better when I eat better. Overeating causes insomnia in the wee hours -- I hate that.
I KNOW FROM EXPERIENCE NOW that I function much better when my food is clean.
I'm a happier person when I'm following my plan.
I love my healthy way of eating and that I'm no longer fooled by the food industry to believe that I need to eat their new junk-food offerings.
I pulled those response cards from three different years. So, this all took a while. But it did eventually work. That's all internalized, now, and I don't need response cards to get myself to do these things. The new improved behaviors show up in my days and my Beck posts, frequently.
MommaMeli: I also struggled with handheld foods. If they weren't messy, I could get myself to put them down between bites, just like the fork. If they were messy, that was an annoyance. I discovered that handheld messy foods were the ones that I ate the fastest and the attempt at mindfulness sometimes made it harder to enjoy the moment. I actually enjoy eating messy handheld foods, most, by putting them on a plate and using a fork.
Here is a day I'm excited about! Last night I made a lower calorie soup that I love, it has tons of flavor, lots of fresh herbs, and is light. I usually eat a TON of this, feeling waterlogged and sloshy as I continue to finish my giant portion. But last night, I had less of it to go around that usual, so I cut back on the broth for my portion. I got done and I had REALLY enjoyed the meal, and was not overfull. It was really nice!
So, the goal for this day is to practice recognizing fullness, as compared to over-fullness. I definitely saw that last night.
Joy, your analysis resulted in great insights! Thanks for sharing those here.
Bill, sometimes simple food is the best. MamaMeli, good job slowing down and taking things at your own pace!
Thanks, curlyjax and nationalparker for your kind words about my dear friend. She seems to be doing ok.
penny, yes, I am a school nurse. I love it, but yes, it has it's drawbacks. Each state and district will be different. I work part time by choice, but right now we are so short staffed that I am covering 2 high schools (total 2700 students including 3 life skills programs with kids with more complex issues) on my 24 hrs. The job involves a lot of training of lay staff to recognize and act when there are medical needs. Probably very much like home health, it is part direct care, part training and/or delegating, and part social work. The relationships with students and school staff are rewarding, though. Some states fund school nursing better than Oregon does, and some districts in Oregon fund better than others. Multnomah Co has been particularly vocal about the mess the Portland districts have made with cutting nurses out of COVID decision-making, and Eugene has been the same. Plenty of politics, but lots of interesting and rewarding opportunities. The pay is significantly less than most other nursing roles, but the perks include time off for school holidays, including summer break most years for me, and of course our retirement is through PERS, which, even though I am tier 3, is probably pretty competitive.
Good morning California!
Uneventful fly back . I read and listened to music. I woke up this morning with the real feeling of summer since I didn't have to go to work. Whee!!!
Just an Ironic epilogue: The one gal willing to room with me in Quebec texted this morning. The Co- ringleader that had labeled me with a Scarlet C for covid risk calling me at the airport to yell at me for subsequently canceling my trip tested positive for COVID this morning. The sad part is all I could think of is Iif had gone, they would have somehow blamed me. BTW I tested negative this morning.
So: Today I am going to putter with a purpose. I am as high as I have been since recording. I am getting back to my roots of OA food plan. Red Light, yellow light and green light food. I will write them out. I will sit when I eat. I was very active on this trip but I need to get in better shape for Ecuador. I will go to the gym to work on the stairs and do my yoga video.
After those priorities I will unpack and do laundry. Then I will finish an assignment in my Colored Stones gemology course. I love a good list.
Mrs. Calypso: I am a high school teacher. I really appreciate our nurses. Yes, vacation time is a big win that is hard to match. Joy: I was looking around for an OA meeting today to hop onto but couldn't find a zoom id that worked. Your post was just like a mini meeting. Thanks,
I had an extra snack yesterday and weight is holding. It was a healthy snack, but unplanned. This morning I hiked with an acquaintance who comes to town 3 or 4 times a year. I usually try to find a new hike to do. We did the same hike as yesterday (new to her) since it's in the shade and the right length for a day that will get very warm. The good news is that there was a little breeze today which made it more comfortable. I got home and walked Otis and now I'm probably in the house for the day for the most part. I've got some beans soaking and some food prep planned.
Mrs Calypso I think I am also working on changing my definition of full. I've reduced portions a bit which seems to be working just fine. I am also so sorry about your friend's brother. What a horrible tragedy.
GardenerJoy I truly appreciate the work you did on addressing Logjammin's question. I've had times when I've been a compulsive overeater too. It is no longer an issue near as frequently as it was years ago, but I thank the Beck strategies and all of you for helping me to get to this point. I think I'll print your response to reread when I need it. I also have some rules in place that help.
Curlyjax Good for you for getting out for a walk. It's nice that you have hills in your neighborhood. You can gain fitness and endurance quickly if you keep at it. Remember not to overdo it and get discouraged. How well I remember having to stop frequently going up the trails that are now a breeze. I was so short of breath that it was embarrassing to be behind someone and wonder what they thought of my breathing.
Bill Congratulations passing on the crackers. It's difficult to pass up snack foods. It sounds like that little whirlwind two year old is a lot of fun and quite a busy gal.
MommaMeli Great idea to work on a few things and get them into practice well before moving on. Sounds like you are having the same weather that I am. In this kind of weather I often take a nap since I get up so early to get my exercise before it's too hot.
Nationalparker Yay that today is your last day at the in-laws before your trip. Enjoy every minute of being away from that huge job.
Logjammin I would say GardenerJoy gave you such a complete answer. My quick answer is just that even those gnawing feelings don't last. My best strategy is distraction. Since I'm retired it might even be something like going to a movie to completely change my mindset.
Penny Do you think maybe your portions have been smaller? Seems like in the past if you were eating off plan even a little your weight would jump up and not this time. Yay.
Maryann I hope you're having a great day getting settled back in to home. I see you have posted before me. Anyway, glad you've got yourself a good list to work on and you know how it goes with weight gained on a trip. . . it usually comes back down quickly when you get back on plan.
Yesterday was good and weight is the exact same number. I did want to jiggle and stomp the scale a little to see if it's stuck but then didn't want to tempt it to give me a higher number.
Today I've already messed up by having two servings of the Mexican black bean salad instead of just the one, but even after the second I still don't feel full. Oh well, kitchen is closed now.
I had my six week post-op appointment and have been cleared for all activiy. Exercise needs to happen.
Joy, excellent tips! Compulsive eater is definitely what I am. My simple tool that sometimes works is just telling myself that is my addictive voice speaking and I don't need to listen to it.
Maryann, yay for a good trip and a putter-at-home day. That's an interesting turn of events for your travel group. Yikes!
MrsCalypso, that's super cool you can work part time doing school nursing. I was thinking that probably wouldn't be an option.
Karen, the breezy warm hike- I can just imagine it. Sounds lovely. I don't know why I didn't jump up a gazillion pounds, especially after having nachos one of the nights. The check, or I should say the bill, is probably in the mail.
Bill, that's some strength to avoid snacks during a visit. It usually seems like a good excuse in the moment.
Curly, kudos for the walks! That's great your son is wanting to eat healthy and will be a support.
Nationalparker, you're almost done! How exciting! You're going to suddenly have so much free time on your hands.
Scale is edging up and up. Somehow I don't care enough to do more than swear and give myself a stern talking to. I'm coming home after long days, thinking I deserve a bit more and then more the next morning. I was going light until I get cranky then I eat too much. I feel like I'm behind on everything I planned to do this spring/summer and instead of the Beck "oh well" I'm trying to find solace in food. Journaling has been sporadic. Some nights are eat, check in, bath, bed. mornings should be my time soon and I need to not wing the day's meals like I have been. Most of our light and healthy meals are soups and easy rehest, but need the time to prep and cook ... I think I'm reminding myself here!
My self care tonight is to color my hair so I'm ahead of it before we take DGS to a pool or for my trip.
My 50 day challenge ended up fizzling out. I just lost focus and can't blame it on the length bc I've done them before but blame it on my lack of follow thru right now. So my friend and I are texting mini daily focus/challenges and fingers crossed we can get ourselves back on track.
Personals tomorrow, looking forward to a slow relaxing catchup on all posts
Tuesday - A group of settlers in Sonoma proclaimed the Republic of California (1846)
Diet Coaches/Buddies - Excitement was the arrival of several bundles of 3-foot bamboo stakes for DW's gardening work. Bamboo has got to be the least expensive, most plentiful material on planet earth yet it is no longer available in any of our local gardening centers, nurseries, or big-box stores. Just vanished. I've been under instructions to look for at least three years any time I'm near such a place. So they arrived by UPS directly to my front porch. DW is delighted. I cringe at the amount of fossil fuel consumed for us to get what used to be a commodity product.
Eating was on plan with no daytime snacks, CREDIT moi. In the heat of the afternoon, I almost reached for a Gatorade that's in the basement for the DGS. But it's got as much sugar as Coke; any semblance to a healthy product is from watching its advertising. Dinner on the patio of leftover red beans and rice - still super good. Dawdled for an hour in the pleasant evening. California Navel Orange for evening snack tasted like end-of-season. Someday I'll become more accepting that seasons end since it seems to be a regular thing.
Joy (gardenerjoy) - Read your post three times. So helpful to be reminded that we can adopt concrete strategies to counter those vague emotions that fuel the desire to pop something in our mouth. Many thanks for your contribution.
maryann - Welcome summer! Super Congrats for dodging the bullet of being accused of being the carrier of COVID to that 'Karen' on your trip. Fun to think of you back in the midst of your Colored Stones gemology course.
nationalparker – Long days certainly encourage the brain to suggest that eating extra will satisfy the feeling of tired. Yay for some self care by coloring your hair for some feel goods.
Karen (karenrn) - Hope that those monster temperatures have passed through. And that the predictions that they will drift to the East Coast are wrong. Yay for a little breeze.
curlyjax - Great that your DS is in a healthy eating mode. Hope you can ignore that he's also into a young adult volume eating mode.
Penny. - I so identify with the notion that stomping the scale is a useful strategy for weight loss. Have you considered replacing the batteries? I find that to be a useful diversion for a full five-minutes although it has never changed the scale's reading.
MrsCalypso - Love the description of your soup, "tons of flavor, lots of fresh herbs." Kudos for your goal today "to practice recognizing fullness."
Readers -
Quote:
Chapter 6Stage 3 - The Challenging Situations Plan
The Special Event Calories Decision
Whichever decision you make is not irrevocable. Try it out to see how well your rule works for you. If you run into difficulty, change it.
Judith S. Beck, Ph.D., The Complete Beck Diet for Life (Green book), Pg 130.
I'm holding steady on Day 11 practicing my 3 skills until I feel ready to move on.
Yesterday was insanely busy, even for my life.
I spent nearly an hour and a half gardening. Credit for lots of exercise. Pickling season is upon us apparently. 7 quarts of cucumbers washed, sliced and ready to go tonight. The beets are finally all processed and in the freezer. The garlic is starting to die (which is what you want it to do so it can be harvested). We got to eat green beans from the garden last night. So delicious! Last year we only made 1 good picking of them; I really hope we do better this year. If I could send you all a squash on this post, I would. I'm already tired of it. Its not my favorite, and it just makes so much!
Putting down my fork between bites went pretty well. Even if I only do it for part of a meal, I'm calling it a win. It just causes me to pay more attention to what I'm doing.
Not snacking unless I'm actually hungry is so hard, but I'm doing very well with it. I noticed I'm wanting something sweet after dinner every night. I think I've been in that habit since Easter. I know from past experience, that if I stop giving in to my cravings, I they will go away.
Today's exercise is going to be wiping down our storage area for all the canning that is about to begin. I expect I'll be up and down the ladder enough times to hit my goal.
gardnerjoy I really enjoyed your post! I'm printing it because I know I'm going to want to refer back to it as I go along my journey. I already know my problem time is when DH is away and the kids are in bed.
maryann I'm sorry your friend ended up with Covid. It sounds like it gave you peace about changing your travel plans. I think you probably did avoid some nasty accusations.
nationalparker I'm actually off to color my hair as well. The box has been sitting there for a few weeks as my roots get grayer and grayer- it is not my favorite chore!
Quick wave as I am running late. I let my body decide what to do this morning and it decided not to wake up early so no walk today. Credit yesterday for tackling my new air fryer and making barbecued chicken legs plus some healthy sides, and cleaning it all up. Credit for eating grapes as a sweet snack instead of experimenting with making a little cake in the air fryer. Demerit for eating too much at work and getting into the candy.
Thank you gardenerjoy for those words, very helpful and i'm going to save them. Karen- I can definitely get into overdoing it and then being discouraged Good to hear you remember when you were short of breath and to see the strides you made.
Today's mission is really targeted at folks with a more rigid food plan than I do. It has a lot of language about how eating anything off plan is "Not OK". For me, I am looking for a more flexible plan that trains me to eat like a normal person, including saying yes to spontaneous choices while still being able to lose weight and keep it off. I feel like I'm Very Close to being at this level of awareness of my body, what is healthy and feels good to eat, and my emotional states (to recognize and prevent emotional eating). This is my dream and I am not giving up on it!
Penny, I was hired at part time in 2010. It has not been easy to keep my part-time status, but happily, I believe the union protects my contract or something, because when push comes to shove, admin always lets me keep it.
nationalparker, been there. Here's hoping you find what you need to get back on a program of some kind.
Thanks for the kind words about my post. Writing it put me in a better place for dealing with a heat wave and car repair.
It was over 80 at 6am and so humid that I broke a sweat taking the trash and recycling bins out.
I'm glad I got a loaner for the car repair. I dropped it off yesterday at 9:30 and I've still had no word on how that's going. It makes it hard to plan the day when I don't know when I'll be called to fetch it. But food doesn't fix uncertainty. I have a good to-do list so I'll just keep working it until I get a call.
Exercise +45, 635/1500 minutes for June
MrsCalypso: One of the things that kind of trips me up is four different definitions of "on plan."
What has worked well for me, mostly, is to write what I plan to eat today. If I follow that plan exactly, then I was a 100% on plan. If I substitute a like item (rice for a slice of bread, for example), then I was 90% on plan. I consider anything above 70% a passing grade! I generally maintain or lose if I manage 80% to 90% most days. Also, if I wrote down "cup of ice cream from the ice cream shop," then that's "on plan" for that day (whether or not that was the healthiest choice that I could make).
What has worked for me, at other times, is to have a physical or mental list of foods that I consider "on plan." If I eat them in reasonable amounts, then I'm "on plan."
What has worked for me, occasionally, is a fairly rigid diet that prescribes what I'll eat. I've never managed the kind of diet that prescribes "1/2 c of strawberries" etc for breakfast on Day 3. But I've sometimes been able to reset myself, after some failures, with an exchange plan that includes things like "1/2 c of fruit" at breakfast.
What has rarely worked for me is counting calories or carbs or whatever the "in" thing to count is at the current moment. Once in a while that was useful to kind of reset my brain to what an appropriate serving size looks like. But I could never stick to it for more than a few days.
Yesterday was a relaxing reset. I paid some bills, returned a purse I had borrowed, and exercised at the gym. My food was better but the scale did not show it. Oh Well. I will NOT have the Chai Tea Starbucks I had yesterday and replace it with a smoothie from my beloved Vita mix.
Today I am doing laundry. I am traveling to my AA Sponsor's house in Klamath Falls, Oregon. She has Kayaks and we might go to Crater Lake. It is about a 4 1/2 hour drive. I have a Jack Kreacher audiobook to pass the time. I am reading The Comfort Book by Matt Haig. He wrote The Midnight Library which I loved.
MrsCalypso: My food plan is red light, yellow light and Green Light foods. The more rigid I become, the more weight I gain. My red light foods are foods that I have lost all choice on how much I eat once I start. they are foods I have identified in my 12 step OA inventory that lead to incomprehensible demoralization such as binges, trashcan diving, and in my younger days, bulimia. An excellent example is Sees Candy. Yellow light foods seem to be tricky but often I can plan for, buy a single serving or have at a restaurant. Pasta is an example. Green light foods I never go down the rabbit hole such as veggies and most fruits. When I practice this religiously, it is easier for me to maintain. Right now I am running at my highest weight. I have to become a little stricter. So for today I am adding NO MASS MANUFACTURED SWEETS, FLOUR, OR DESSERTS AFTER A MEAL .
Karen: We have cooled down. Have you in Arizona? The window is open and a lovely breeze is coming in. Penny: I tried a little jiggle on the scale but no luck. Rats! nationalparker: I believe it was you who does Wordle. My friend just sent me this torture chamber: https://duotrigordle.com/ Curley: bought my airfryer yesterday and made delicious breaded frozen fish. Yeah!!!
Food on plan and weight just down a smidge. I headed out for a hike alone today and it was in fact a bit cooler, just under 80 to start and mid 80's when I finished. I've cleaned up, been to the grocery store and cooked some beans and made the tofu/cottage cheese for the next week. I got gas at Costco on the way home from my hike. It was the first time I paid over $90 for a tank of gas. My car takes premium so that is part of it. I'm trying to cut down on avoidable driving and be more efficient with any errands, but of course I have to drive for my hikes which are essential. No big plans for the rest of the day. I am reading a couple of books and will do a little housework.
Maryann Yes, I guess we have cooled down a bit. Instead of 112 we're only supposed to be 102 or so. It isn't cool enough to open any windows though. Have fun on your outing to Klamath Falls. Not a bad drive for sure.
Mrs Calypso It's great that you don't need a specific plan and can be more spontaneous with your eating. I would like that too, but for me I need to have some rules in place unless I want to weigh far more than I'd like. My plan has changed over the years but currently it is whole food plant based and lower fat. I pretty much eat three meals and one snack a day. I do track in MFP but don't really have a real calorie limit. I do have a dessert occasionally that has ingredients that aren't on my food plan. Fortunately I really love the food I eat so I don't feel like it is a hardship at all. I only started this in February after learning my cholesterol was a little high, but I had been adding no meat meals for awhile and thinking about it. My husband is happy with the food too, so that makes it easy.
Curlyjax I wanted to add one more thing . . . I didn't start hiking until I was about 153 after we moved to Arizona.
MommaMeli Your garden sounds just wonderful!
Bill I still can't figure out why anyone would drink Gatorade. Heavens it doesn't even have caffeine or alcohol.
Nationalparker I've got to tell you that with all you have going on clearing out the in-laws house, I don't know how you can focus on much else. Sounds like things will be better soon though.
GardenerJoy I did print your response and feel like it will be helpful for me to reread. Now I just have to decide where to keep it so it's handy when I need it. Maybe the kitchen counter or under the fruit bowl on the table will be the best place.
Penny Yay for weight down even after an extra serving. Maybe your surgery did something magical for your metabolism.
Tuesday - A group of settlers in Sonoma proclaimed the Republic of California (1846)
Good to hear you remember when you were short of breath and to see the strides you made.
