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-   -   Beck Diet For Life/Solution – December 2013 – Support, Discussion, Buddy/Coach (https://www.3fatchicks.com/forum/beck-diet-solution/290204-beck-diet-life-solution-%96-december-2013-%96-support-discussion-buddy-coach.html)

ForMyGirls 12-04-2013 03:04 PM

I typed this up last night but it didn't send so trying again ...

Hello coaches,

36 points on the board for us all tonight. Yay to us all.

It was touch and go for me today but I squeaked it in for an OP day. Had intended to have 2 of my weekly indulgences available tonight so that I could have a glass of wine and dessert at the function tonight but the plan was scuttled by last night's gelato expedition with the kids. Spent the drive there tonight debating inside my head as to whether I could edit my plan to increase my "indulgences" and thereby be OP???? Because I really didn't want to report in with zero tonight. Fortunately I was greeted on arrival by a drinks tray with orange juice at which point Joy's "alcohol OR dessert" strategy surfaced and I remembered how much more I like dessert than wine. So very pleased with myself for having a booze free night and being OP.

Also very stoked that tonight that I won an award for my work:-) Even more stoked that it comes with a small amount of cash attached. At any other time it would be the recognition that mattered most but it has been a very difficult year financially so it is huge relief to know that my little people won't have to wonder why Santa suddenly got so stingy!

Lulu - lovely to meet you and delighted to have you join in the streaking. My elder daughter's in utero name was Lulu so seeing your name brought a special smile to my face :-)

LuLu01801 12-04-2013 03:45 PM

am I missing something?
what is all this mention of earning points?
do we have a point system in place for our streaking?

nationalparker 12-04-2013 04:24 PM

Checking in from Tulsa, OK. Work is done for the day, and folks here have been really urging me to try to fly out tonight before the ice tomorrow, but I cannot rig up a flight to get out to Florida, via ANYWHERE, apparently. So ... I will keep my fingers crossed and get the rental car gassed up, returned and to the airport early tomorrow morning for a mid-morning flight. I'll be the silly person who shows up HOURS before her flight because I'm nervous about driving on icy roads. :) I am trusting that my good karma will hold out and I'll get home to my folks tomorrow.

I'm struggling about feeling that I deserve something indulgent tonight for dinner. That's been my thought this afternoon ... WHY do I think this way? I've counted up my calories today (lunch with the people I had to meet with was Mexican - left part of it, which was hard). If I go light tonight, I'm STILL on track. But it has to be pretty light :) I will have enough difficulty remaining within my calorie goals while at home. Food is all around, and I seek out what isn't. A slice of American cheese? Sure. ... Hmm... what's this? Oh, I'll try that. My mantra will be, "I'm here to help THEM, not help myself."

I weighed this morning and was up but feel confident that my choices had been wise with limited snacking, just the restaurant meal that was split into three, and I'm sure was sodium-filled.

Thanks, Lulu, for those "takeaways" ... I needed to see them today. I've put them on a computer sticky note to read when I log on. The points are for every day that we are OP (whatever we each decide is OP - some are +1 for eating OP and +1 for activity ... others are 90% or more OP is +1, etc. - whatever works for you) ...

Bill - You've been the mad streaker - good job! Our leftover turkey will probably now spoil because I forgot to freeze it and DH is prepping his own meals, none of which will include the turkey, but rather Trader Joe's frozen meals while I'm gone. I teased him to not buy several at once, because everyone who saw the cart would think I didn't make him good meals.

PamAtGa - I have thoroughly enjoyed your review of each chapter - I've not had the time to pull my book out and commit to reading each chapter, so your check-ins have been invaluable.

GosfordGirl 12-04-2013 09:33 PM

Checking in a little later than morning - but 5 days in a row!

My food yesterday was on plan - and my food logging showed I was 89 calories over - good enough. My exercise also reached the goals set. So a good day. Today is shaping up as on plan but more of that in the morning

Welcome LuLu - I will leave it to ForMyGirls to explain the streak challenge - her great idea. Essentially it is about trying to achieve a streak of successes in one or several goals without being overwhelmed by perfectionism. Great job maryann in preparing for travel - I would do well to be as thorough. Had to smile at BillBE lip and hand synching to Y-M-C-A - that would be one good workout. Great 14day streak. Commiserations Gardenerjoy - I am sure your 100% streak served the purpose of realigning your plan. Christmas lights and snow sound so exotic to us Australians. Hang in there Pam (pamatga) - seems you have all the tools you need for that fight of your life. Ouch that you can't trust your usual restaurant not to provide your usual menu. Congratulations ForMyGirls, for the award AND passing up the wine to celebrate it with. Major kudos. Hope the trip home goes well nationalparker.

Checked in 5 days in a row
-.4 lb again (today) / -2.2 lb from tracker (in onederland again :) )
4.3/3 (same as last night);
Planned food and ate according to plan

BillBlueEyes 12-05-2013 05:19 AM

Diet Coaches/Buddies – 15 day streak of on-plan eating, CREDIT moi. I am so grateful for this streak diversion. It helped me last night as I spent two hours with friends around a table laden with eight (I counted them) different snack foods and six beverages. I chose to take nothing - not a thing - partially feeling smug that I could report my streak unbroken. I didn't even take the bubbly water since I wasn't thirsty and was happy without servicing my desire to constantly put something in my mouth.

Exercise was two walks, CREDIT moi. I dressed warmly for the bitter cold; it wasn't cold so I overheated. When I think of myself as outdoors, I wear the kind of layers that are easily shed into my backpack. When I think of myself in the city, the layers aren't as easily shed. Oh Well.

Joy (gardenerjoy) – You always make the Missouri Botanical Garden sound fun. Kudos for enjoying it sufficiently to ignore the food - I gotta remember that.

Cheryl (seadwaters) – Congrats on "in onederland again." Kudos for on plan with both food and exercise.

Pam (pamatga) – Sending supportive thoughts as you face the reality of "one of the darkest clouds" with Kudos for recognizing that your eating plan must also continue as you face it.

nationalparker – Waving toward Tulsa, OK hoping that you're on an airplane out of there. Love your mantra, "I'm here to help THEM, not help myself." Super Kudos for recognizing that you're making wise choices rather than worrying about scale jitter.

Lulu (LuLu01801) – Thanks for the notes. Today I'm struck by the big obvious, "ya gotta change your thinking." Need to remember that it doesn't seem obvious when I want to waddle about my old ruts. Yep, ForMyGirls is maestro of this streak business. I'm using it to help counter a recent excursion into off-plan snacks.

ForMyGirls - Congrats for that award for your work. A little cash always seems to increase the credibility of the recognition. Kudos for making the choice between wine and dessert.

Readers -

day 8 Create Time and Energy

what are you thinking?
Here are some other common sabotaging thoughts and helpful responses. If any are similar to your own thoughts, make Response Cards to help you.

Sabotaging Thought: I don't have the time to do the steps in this program.
Helpful Response: It might be more accurate to say that I'm not willing to make the time. If I had to get a blood transfusion every day to keep myself alive, obviously I'd find the time. While being overweight isn't necessarily life threatening, I still need to make a serious commitment if I want to diet successfully. I need to look at my Advantages Response Card again and judge whether I really want to lose weight.

Judith S. Beck, Ph.D., The Beck Diet Solution (Pink book), pg 105.

ForMyGirls 12-05-2013 06:08 AM

Hello coaches,

I am not sure whether pavlova is known outside Australia - but for those who do know of it I think you will be as proud of me as I am proud of myself for saying "actually I'll just have some fruit salad" and my work Xmas party today. I did eat past full at dinner tonigt which means sadly I am back to zero even after declining wine and one of the world's top 5 desserts. But hey - 6 months ago I would have had all 3! Plus it is kinda cool that being past full feels uncomfortable now and not just normal.

Another credit also for getting my morning walk even though I "really didn't want to" and despite that our heat wave suddenly turned freezing and it would have been very easy to say I'm too cold.

Despite my transgressions out group tally remains wonderfully high - 38. Go team. Looking forward to helping it climb some more tomorrow.

Lulu - the others have done some good explaining - but just to add my two cents worth - the deal is if you want to be in the streaking then you pick a habit you want to create - it is really up to you what you set and how much wriggle room you want in it. Then when you post you let us know how many days in a row you have achieved your goal. I then add up everyone's points to see what our total points are. The theory is we're each working individually so stay on track but at the same time contributing to a collaborative goal. Does that make sense yet? I think the tentative plan is to keep it going till early January. Speaking for myself I think it will be good to have this extra incentive to get me through the constant stream of 'events' that is the Christmas season.

gardenerjoy 12-05-2013 10:13 AM

My 100%OP Day streak count is up to 1.

It was a weird day, though. I didn't write my plan until mid-morning, which happened to be after a big disappointment. So, I wrote an unusual lunch and snack on my plan, treats. It worked in that it compartmentalized things so it didn't trigger binges or cravings. But, at the end of the day, I decided I would have been better off with a long walk and my normal food. Good to know.

WI: +0.65 kg, Exercise: +45 200/1400 minutes for December, Food: 100%op, Read my Advantages and Responses: yes

pamatga 12-05-2013 12:14 PM

Day Eighteen:Change Your Definition of Full
Before I make a comment about this day I am "working"; I wanted to share with all of you why I started doing this in the first place. First of all, believe or not, even though I still remember many of you from my stint before a couple of years ago, I felt somewhat tongue-tied just jumping back in the dialogues mid-stream so for me, it just started as the proverbial "ice breaker". After I hit the last day (which I think is Day 41) then I will just post which skill I am working on at that time and how I am doing with it; although, by the looks of it already it might be a handful I will be juggling.

Day 18: Change Your Definition of Full: I was just thinking about this last night and this morning. In the distant past, I have joined many different weight loss programs, some costing in the thousands with no guaranteed results either. The one thing that strikes me as I am re-reading this book is how so many of those programs hand you their plan (usually one size fits all too) and then the expectation is that you will lose weight on that, showing up once a week for a weigh in.

Now, I am speaking from my experiences in a decade or so ago so things may have changed but I do not recall anyone ever giving me the tools (and that is what BDS does) to deal with the different kinds of situations that I might find myself in. I remember asking this once while following a nationally known weight loss program (that advertises on t.v. all the time with famous celebrities) and the contact person just told me "do as we tell you to do". I did but it did not guarantee that the weight that I did lose would not return, which it did.

Repeated banging your head against a wall is very demoralizing and I have done my share of that. It reminds me of the definition of insanity, " doing the same thing over but expecting different results." Well, the day the "insanity stops" is the day you start to do things differently. If I can pinpoint one specific thing that I like about this book and what Dr. Beck outlines is that if you want "different results" (which, of course, we all do) then we need to do things differently. Then, she sets about showing what that is.

The first time that I read this book I was taken aback by how direct and almost blunt Dr. Beck "comes across" but since reading other books on the same subject, I now really appreciate her "no nonsense, tell-it-like-it-is" directives. Many of these other books are even on the best sellers list; however, they hem and haw and try to obscure some of the truths that are self-evident in this book. I think they are just plain afraid of telling people that the primary and only function that food should have in our lives is to fuel our body to perform at its best. It reminds me of a couple of lines from the movie "A Few Good Men": "I just want the truth" whereas the other character says, "You can't handle the truth." Well, Dr. Beck believes we can and we must.

I want to say that I have tried to incorporate these principles in diet groups that I have lead. I have not had the success that I had thought I would but I think that conversation says it best. It takes a certain level of wanting to face the truth about ourselves that many people that I have come to know, some very well, do not want to face about themselves. They would rather remain "where they are at". Period. I respect that although knowing that some of them are risking their health and that they are good friends makes it tough for me to watch. Still, one thing I learned in my 18 years of working the 12 Steps; we are all at different points in the same journey, some of which we may see on the other shore and can only "wish them well" once we "cross over". When this happens, I am always saddened by it initially but I have learned to let go their "recovery" to embrace my own.

I have come to a crossing where I am willing to give this program my absolute best. I will admit that when I read it before I didn't work the entire program as Dr. Beck lays out so I had "partial success". She addresses this early on and reminds people to not skip around using a hit or miss approach. I didn't listen then but I am now. It is also at this time, and it has been a long time in coming unfortunately, that I also want to face another equally persistent and troubling "addiction"; one that I also practiced "half-measures". I am really being tested and tried right now. However, I plan to use this BDS to navigate my way through so I do lose weight while I am dealing with the other "addiction". I can't wait to lose the weight and then deal with the other. The stress of not doing something is worse than dealing with it. Dr. Beck talks about the stress of debating on whether to give in vs not giving in and this is no different.

I will skip personals today since this has already gotten longer than I had planned. The past several days in her book are the key areas that I know I need to work on. This day in particular. However, I am here to say that it is doable and I have done it on more than one occasion.

ForMyGirls: I can add another point for working out: 3 thus far since Monday when I started over. My food plan has been healthy but I am still going over on calories so for me that means "off plan". It hasn't impacted my weight because I am working out. However, today I have decided that I am going to have to eliminate some food items from my meal plan "moving forward". Like others here, what "on plan" means for me does evolve over time. I adjust it when it is no longer meeting the objective that is at hand; which also changes from time to time. Now is that time.

Take care all, Pam :comp:

MikeB 12-05-2013 12:57 PM

Came across this, which seemed to fit me:

"If you’ve labeled yourself as a food addict, I suggest you retire this psychologically toxic concept from your mind. You’re a seeker of well-being who is still mastering the learning curve of moderation."


LuLu01801 12-05-2013 02:25 PM

Happy Thursday everybody!!
It's good to be back.
I read my ARCs this morning and hope to every morning.
Food is on track, feels good.
I'm doing damage control before the christmas damage!! :)
For today, I feel good, I feel on track and it's good to connect with you Becksters.

I'm so excited!!
Tonight is opening night at the high school for my son's play (he's a senior).
he's in A Streetcar Named Desire and he's playing Stanley.
they have been working hard on this for quite a while now and I'm anxious to see it tonight, proud mama that I am!!!!

nationalparker, Why do you feel like you “deserve something indulgent tonight”? It sounds like you are just craving. One of my ARC says “Craving. . . When I am craving, my mind is focused on getting food, not on getting thinner. That’s why I have to cement the reasons in my mind by reading my list every day”. Maybe you need to get out those cards and really sit with them and focus hard on your goals and visualize giving in and how you will feel and how much further you will be away from your goals.

seadwaters, Good job with reaching your goals!!! Question . . . what is “KM” in your stats?

Bill, 15 days straight of OP!!! WOW!!! And you had nothing to eat at that food laden table? You sure mean business!!! You are very motivating.

ForMyGirls, Good to see you giving yourself credit even though you are “back to zero”. I find it difficult to give myself credit unless I’m perfect and I want to change that about myself. Thanks for clarifying the challenge and point earnings. So I should pick one thing I want to focus on? Only one thing? And then each day that I do that one thing, I earn a point?

gardenerjoy, Congrats on 1 perfect 100% day!!!! Yeah, it usually turns out that a day of normal food is much more satisfying than a day of treats. I have an ARC that says “Satisfying Hunger . . . I will NEVER satisfy my hunger by eating junk food that provides no nutrition, so cut it out!!!” I'm sorta yelling at myself in this card!!! haha

pamatga, Years ago I was in OA myself. I lost 100 lbs there and have been gone for 10 years and have kept it off. I went to one meeting recently just to revisit it. Not quite sure I belong but it’s a wonderful fellowship.

mike, I would love to believe that I will master moderation. I always say I don’t have a moderate bone in my body. I’m either 100% or 0%. Even though I’ve been maintaining a normal size body for quite some time now, I’m always battling and it’s exhausting. I’m hoping to change my thinking with Beck Solutions so that I can have more peace.

have a great day, my friends.
I'll check in tomorrow!!

GosfordGirl 12-05-2013 08:29 PM

Later than I planned to check in again today. And a quick one at that

MikeB - I like the idea of being a "seeker of well-being who is still mastering the learning curve of moderation" - think it will be a lifelong journey

Checked in 6 days in a row
-.4 lb again (today) / -2.6 lb from tracker
5625/5000 (just squeaked in);
KM (kilometres :) )
100% on plan

nationalparker 12-06-2013 12:17 AM

Super brief check-in...today was 100% within calorie range,
and that was the travel day plan. Took on stress I didn't need to .. and felt I needed to eat more to quell stress, clearly disordered thinking... worrying about travel/icy conditions for me and DH in two diff states, my folks, my work, etc...enough.

Now I'm exhausted but plan to check in on the trip each day. How do our Canadian friends get thru icy winters!? 80 degree s here at home in Florida. Sweet.

BillBlueEyes 12-06-2013 06:15 AM

Friday - RIP Nelson Mandela at 95
Diet Coaches/Buddies – 16 days in a row of snacks as planned (or less), CREDIT moi. Dinner was dahl (lentil soup) - particularly welcome when it feels cold outside. One option for straying from my plan was to add uncounted tortilla chips with it; I didn't add any. My evening snack was a California Navel Orange - usually a favorite. This one was tasteless. Nevertheless I ate the whole thing. When I'm enlightened, I'll stop eating something that isn't satisfying.

Exercise was installing our new washer and dryer. CREDIT moi for doing what had to be done. The washer is the new 'High Efficiency' type with the odd feature that you don't specify how much water to use. IT decides. The answer is always "very little." Through the top loading glass lid you watch as the basin wobbles about - there's no agitator to tangle sheets into knots. Special High Efficiency low suds detergent is required that also doesn't gunk up the water level sensors.

Joy (gardenerjoy) – Ouch for disappointment; Kudos for using planning to prevent food from being your response.

Cheryl (seadwaters) – Kudos for 100% on plan as well as keeping your steps above goal.

Pam (pamatga) – Thanks for the reminder that it's the Beck tools that help us stay the course rather than the specifics of the diet.

nationalparker – Kudos for staying within calories despite all the stress stacked up during travel.

Lulu (LuLu01801) – Wow, A Streetcar Named Desire is pretty adult themed Tennessee Williams for high school. Hope your Stanley did well over the range of loving and lust. Kudos for "damage control before the christmas damage."

ForMyGirls - Once here on 3FC I attributed the dessert, Pavlova, to the Aussies; I was politely corrected by a New Zealander who posted that the Kiwi's invented it. For those who wish to stay on plan, I recommend that you don't click on that food porn link. Super Kudos for turning down that special dessert.

MikeB - Love the notion that I'm a "seeker of well-being."

Readers -

day 8 Create Time and Energy

..Once I accept the fact that dieting takes
time and energy and I change my schedule
. . . .accordingly, dieting will be easier.

Judith S. Beck, Ph.D., The Beck Diet Solution (Pink book), pg 105.

ForMyGirls 12-06-2013 06:35 AM

Ok. I am back on the board. Was a day with plenty of challenges - morning tea with a friend with scones on the table. (I had None- credit). Run around day which meant at shops in early afternoon without having yet had lunch (came home for quick healthy option rather than grabbing fast food - credit) and an evening meal out and chose very healthy. (Credit again)

As a team we're on 35. So far my longest personal streak is 6. I really want to beat that now!

Lulu - hope the opening night went well. In terms of whether to pick one thing or many it is really up to you. If there is one thing that you struggle with that you think is particularly important then that might be a good thing. For me what I have been needing is to stop the creep where I gradually shift the line of what is OK (ie: I work out what I need to do and then when I do most of it I say "don't give yourself grief for not being perfect - and then suddenly the goal is doing 80% - and then when I only do most of that 80% I say "don't give yourself grief for not being perfect ..." So for me to keep up my streak requires being 100% OP - which means eating within my diet and doing all the exercise and Wellbeing tasks that are scheduled for that day (ie: stretches, meditation, walking, strength exercises taking multivitamins, going to bed on time etc - different tasks on different days but whatever is due to be done that day needs to be done)

Having said all that about not letting the 'creep' come in I am adjusting the rules and letting myself have a bedtime extension tonight. We took the kids to the lighting of the Christmas tree (which in Oz has to happen at 8.30pm because it is approaching the longest day of the year!) so they are only just in bed and I need some chill out time or else I will be a very grumpy mummy when little people appear in the morning!

gardenerjoy 12-06-2013 09:46 AM

My 100%OP Day streak count is now 2.

Today I have a Plan A and a Plan B. Plan A includes two events at the Art Museum. Plan B is in case the weather keeps us in the house.

WI: NC in kg, Exercise: +30 230/1400 minutes for December, Food: 100%op, Read my Advantages and Responses:

BillBlueEyes: thanks for braving the oranges. I don't buy my first orange of the season until you say they're good.

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