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-   -   Beck Diet For Life/Solution December 2013 Support, Discussion, Buddy/Coach (https://www.3fatchicks.com/forum/beck-diet-solution/290204-beck-diet-life-solution-%96-december-2013-%96-support-discussion-buddy-coach.html)

ForMyGirls 12-13-2013 05:59 PM

Sorry for so many posts - apparently I am in the mood to hang out with you all this morning :-)

Lulu - to PM in here - near the top left of the screen is a purple button that says "user CP". Click that and it brings up a menu. In the menu is a heading "private messages" under which are some options like "create new message" "view messages" etc. hope that helps :-)

I have been thinking a bit in the last few days about the "substitutes" and pre-planning part of the Beck program. I was a little surprised by some comments about it being not part of the program to make substitutions - because I hadn't come away from reading the book feeling like that was the deal. So I found myself thinking "Am I doing it wrong?"

At the beginning I was planning exactly what To eat everyday the night before, which I found really helpful for getting me used to what was appropriate - but I really didn't like the rigidity it created in my life so I have shifted to a more generalised plan of knowing broadly what I should be eating each day and then tracking it to make sure I am on track.

So it has been going round my head a bit for the last few days about whether this is OK. The latest bit of thinking is that what I am aiming for is normal eating behaviour - to create food habits and a relationship with food that is rational. (Or to put it in the words of Beck - to learn how to think like a thin person). And when I think about the behaviour of thin people I know - it doesn't look to me like they only ever eat something they planned ahead of time. It looks to me like they partake of unexpected food - they just make good choices and do it in moderation.

What do you all think? Can you be spontaneous with food and still lose weight / maintain weight loss? Or is sticking to a detailed plan an essential part of thinking like a thin person?

maryblu 12-13-2013 07:30 PM

Congratulations, Maryann
Words really fail at a time like this, Maryann. I am so happy for you. What an achievement..all of it..not just getting to goal, but the food addiction and finding peace with food. I am just SO HAPPY for you.

LuLu01801 12-13-2013 08:42 PM

WOW Maryann!! What a powerful post!! I am so happy for you for accomplishing what you set out to do. You sound so peaceful and free. You are an inspiration.

LuLu01801 12-13-2013 08:59 PM

Read this today . . .
There is a difference between INTEREST and COMMITMENT.
When you're interested in doing something, you do it only when it's convenient.
When you're COMMITTED to something, you accept no EXCUSES, only RESULTS!!
Don't talk about it, be about it!!.

GosfordGirl 12-13-2013 09:19 PM

Wow - so much has been happening! I had to go back a page to see who had posted after I had

Vegan...Rex - I'm not great on crediting myself but when I post here and see I am maintaining behaviours and goals and plans it forces me to realise I am progressing. And I can see you are too - so Credit you. Maryblu - love to see you back under any circumstances and always enjoy your posts. I too am eating anti-inflammatory and anti-autoimmune and low sugar so it is nice there is someone else on a similar plan; Lulu - yay for 7 days OP - enjoy the party - great planning for the bar; ForMyGirls - great to see you pop up a few times today - you are in a good place

:sunny: Congratulations Maryann :congrat: - it was wonderful to read that and I can feel/picture the satisfaction in you. WOW

Checked in 5 times in a row; 199.6 - +1.4 lb (today) / +1 lb (total for week); 8520/5000 steps; Physiotherapy exercises - Not done again yesterday; 5.7/3km; Food - On plan with no major problems - looked back over it when I saw the weight gain again but no reason so just keep plugging away

nationalparker 12-13-2013 09:39 PM

Congratulations, Maryann!!
This rates a post all to itself - GREAT JOB, Maryann. You are a major inspiration to me on this site... for your acceptance that it will not drop off quickly, plugging away, and slowly and steadily working toward your goal. I admire you.


And join you in your celebration!


bethFromDayton 12-13-2013 09:43 PM

maryann, I'm so happy for you!!!! You are so amazing and have worked so hard to reach your goal--while encouraging others at the same time.

What a wonderful accomplishment!


bethFromDayton 12-13-2013 10:12 PM

Hi everyone,

I held myself to one plate of food and no desserts for our carry-in today. When I entered everything in MFP, it came to about 1100 calories. That is not a typo--and my plate wasn't even that full compared to many of my co-workers. I should have stopped eating rather than finish my plate, though--I ate a bit too much.

I ended up skipping my afternoon snack (I wasn't hungry at my normal snack time--that's the difference between a 400 calorie and a 1100 calorie lunch, I guess!)

I lightened my dinner, partly in compensation and partly because one heavy meal a day is really sufficient. DH finished before I did and left the table. I realized I was done, but couldn't manage to get myself to stand up and throw it away. I called DH back to the table to take my plate away!

I give myself credit for keeping myself to one plate (caloric or not!), and for recording everything I ate!

I weighed this morning and am a pound below ticker.

I did a good job of eating slowly today and savoring my food--credit for that!

I have to write down my plan for tomorrow, but I do have one--for everything but dinner. Tomorrow is my company holiday party and I don't know what I'll have. I'll concentrate on salad and veggies and limit sauces.

seadwaters: Isn't it incredibly powerful to track progress and successes--especially if you really can give yourself credit for them? I found it a hard habit to get into, but my time with traditional CBT in other areas taught me how important it is to recognize what I've accomplished--and to feel good about that.

ForMyGirls: It's interesting what people mean by "100% OP" and I think it really does vary for people. I consider substitutions within parameters to be OP. So, if I swap out a fruit for another, or we go out to eat and I choose what I'd have planned if I'd known I was going to that restaurant, I still feel I'm doing well. I rebel against rigidity so I need to feel that my planning is a structure to support me rather than a fence to control me.

I think you're right that thin people do partake of unexpected food--with "good choices and do it in moderation". For some people sticking with every detail of a detailed plan is essential--but I don't think that's the only successful approach. At the end of the green book, Dr Beck goes more into a lifelong eating approach--which for most of us, won't include written daily detailed plans.

I'm going to look into the mindfulness links--thanks for sharing them.

LuLu01801: How great that you told your friend you'd be all set--and that he was fine with it--credit for knowing what you need!

pamatga: Thanks for sharing your struggle to be honest with yourself and us about where you are right now. I found it a powerful statement about how easy it is to be in denial--and give you credit for your honest with us--I know it makes me want to be as honest as possible in response. Credit for exercising your resistence muscle!!!

maryblu: Hello! I'm looking forward to getting to know you!

veganasaurusrex: I don't think credit has to equal rewards. I don't give myself many "rewards" because I generally totally let myself have whatever I want--that makes a tangible physical reward difficult. I treat the success itself as the reward, most of the time--the inner pleased feeling of knowing I'd accomplished something. Big credit for not eating in the car (possible reward? get the car detailed inside)

gardenerjoy: Credit for day 2 OP! (We're waiting for your wintery mix now--we always get our weather 12-24 hours after you do.

BillBE: Yay for 23 days! I love the idea of giving each other presents that you want yourself--and the inside joke of that! (DH and I exchanged iPads this year--I got an iPad Air and he got an iPad Mini) Since we don't really observe any winter holidays, we're all ready enjoying our new iToys.

Take care, all.

nationalparker 12-13-2013 10:25 PM

Hello, all! The snow is falling pretty soundly now. When I log off after checking in tonight, I'm going to sit in the bedroom with the blinds up and the lights out and enjoy holiday music, watching it fall over the yard/garden. That will count as my relaxation for the day.

Day has been not planned, but still on track. I'm most proud of those days.

In response to your open question, ForMyGirls, I believe that I am truly building my success when I choose healthfully and nutritiously without having it detailed out in front of me. When I get sidetracked, though, I need to plan what I'm going to eat to get myself hauled back on the path. I know I sure don't want to have 25 years of preplanned meals in my future, but I also know that without a calorie range in my mind each day, I will allow that to creep up. I count some of my planning the marketing lists that include the healthy meals I'm planning for the week.

Challenges today: at work - croissants before an event, Donut Friday, cupcakes as part of a celebration, leftovers of all of those surrounding us all afternoon ... marketing tonight - took more than two hours to get through the store and just buying groceries. (For some reason that eludes me, they were stocking shelves at 5 p.m. on a night with snow expected so you have all the "I need milk and bread" crowd, as well). Ate lunch out with two older male friends, one retired and one retiring ... enjoyed their company and saved half my regular-size entree for dinner.
Despite the challenges or things I perceived as challenges, I stayed on track!!
Seadwaters - Credits for checking in here! What challenges do you face this weekend?

Streak = 7 for the first time in recent memory.
This coming week, I'm planning to add 15 minutes of private relaxation daily to clear stress.

shcirerf 12-14-2013 12:26 AM


Originally Posted by LuLu01801 (Post 4899529)
Thanks for that advice, Janelle.
I will try that, for sure!!!

You're welcome!:hug:

shcirerf 12-14-2013 12:28 AM

Santa saw fit to bring me an early present!

Granddaughter Emerson Paige!

6 lbs, 8 ozs.! Arrived about 6:30 pm!

silverbirch 12-14-2013 03:11 AM

Maryann - I'm just delighted for you. :hug:


ForMyGirls 12-14-2013 03:46 AM

60 points tonight team. Hooray.

My personal streak is 9 now. Had a day of being grumpy so giving myself lots if credit for being OP despite the grumps. The streak really helps for motivation :-)

Thanks Beth and National Parker for your thoughts on flexibility and planning.

BillBlueEyes 12-14-2013 07:13 AM

Welcome janelle (shcirerf)
:welcome: janelle (shcirerf) :welcome:

And, despite your five years here, in case you've never gotten one of these: :wel3fc:

And a super welcome to:
Emerson Paige!

BillBlueEyes 12-14-2013 07:19 AM

Diet Coaches/Buddies Had to dress warmly to walk (CREDIT moi) to the library - the chill before the snow is real. I wanted to return an Express book due on Monday since the threatened snow might preclude walking early next week. We're preparing to cancel two different events on Sunday. The big disappointment will be cancelling the Christmas Bird Count that happens every year to do a census of the birds. But birds make themselves scarce when it's actively snowing.

Eating was on plan, CREDIT moi, to extend the streak to 24. The only challenge was evening snack. I had both the fresh pineapple and the new killer-good Tangerines in mind, when DW reminded me that I also had California Navel Oranges as well as Clementines - both taking up room in the fridge and both only mediocre. As I was pondering how to do justice to all four and still stay on track I got busy. And then it was bedtime. I'd simply forgotten to have any of the four - but I've given myself credit anyway. So, on plan with no snacks for the day. I can live with that.

maryblu You are always welcome, as is your "raspberry eatin' dawg." Cracks me up that you've planted blue berries for her as an anti-oxidant. Love the notion, "window shop at parties."

Joy (gardenerjoy) I've never met anyone who went to the grocery store before breakfast. Did you have a problem walking past the smell of baking bread?

silverbirch Waving back. Hope you're not experiencing the wicked snow we're getting on this side of the Atlantic.

Cheryl (seadwaters) Kudos for "Checked in 5 times in a row."

Pam (pamatga) The 7 Question Technique didn't make it to the Green Book - so don't consider it a loss to skip it. I diligently worked it only once and didn't become a fan. Yep, Ouch for the hit from relaxing a little. Thanks for bringing up the feeling of dishonesty that comes from certain eating habits.

maryann - Hosanna, Hallelujah, and Kudos for :dizzy: I have reached goal :dizzy:
Just love, "I am not going back."

nationalparker Love the notion of watching the snow in the dark. Kudos for an on track day.

Beth (bethFromDayton) Ouch for 1100 calories in a single plate - it's so easy to get caught by surprise. Love the twin iPads.

Jo (veganasaurusrex) I hate the Sabotaging Thought, "I overate at that occasion so I may as well just keep going" - BTDT. Kudos for sticking to an appetizer at the birthday party. For rewards, I've used new tools and books that I might not have otherwise purchased. LOL at "eating everything I can get my hands on."

Lulu (LuLu01801) Ouch for the continuing knee issue. Kudos for charging forth anyway. Neat move to avoid food when meeting with a friend.

ForMyGirls - Neat list of non-food rewards. I like that they weren't necessary items. Thanks for the discussion of mindfulness. RE: Planning and tracking. At the end of the Pink Book, Beck discusses generalized planning for maintenance - that's what I do. I'm on plan if I stay within my general plan for the day. I've messed up with that about snacks, but it's worked well for me with meals.

janelle (shcirerf) - Love the sticky corn syrup ice pack notion - I'll save that one. Glad you've dropped in. By-the-by, the New York Times panned the movie Nebraska and the Boston Globe gave it four stars. DW and I both liked it. How is it received locally?

Readers -

day 9 Select and Exercise Plan

Exercise has many diet- and non-diet-related benefits: . . .

Exercise makes you feel better physically. The more you move, the more you feel like moving. Regular exercise strengthens your lungs, heart, and other muscles, with the result that your daily activities (such as carrying bags of groceries or doing housework) feel less taxing. Because exercise can improve sleep, you might find that you have more energy as well.

Judith S. Beck, Ph.D., The Beck Diet Solution (Pink book), pg 107.

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