Kent State allows graduate students to teach intro, too, but only their OWN grad students. And so far there hasn't been a grad student willing to drive three hours round trip to teach one class here (no surprise). The fact that the classes are during regular business hours also makes it very hard to find anyone who is able to teach at that time, no less willing to! Yes, getting to teach only the psych majors is a huge plus. The intro classes are large, young, and include lots of high school students and students who have to take the course but have no interest in it. Because we are open admissions, there are lots of people in intro who are academically and intellectually incapable of doing college work, so they find the course very frustrating. The intro course acts as a filter that many people never get past, so the problem students get weeded out and don't move on to any of the other psych courses. In addition to the academic issues, there are lots of behavior problems, like people who constantly chatter and interrupt the class, people who play on the internet or text their friends all through class, and so forth--minor stuff, for the most part, but very annoying in the aggregate.

None of my grandparents went to high school. Neither of my grandmothers went past 6th grade.

Hmmmm, the classic approach-approach conflict! When all of the options are good, the tendency is to procrastinate as long as possible, since making up a decision means forever letting go of options that would have been advantageous if they had been pursued.




What I meant when I said I couldn't decide what to do this summer is that I have a long list of things I need or would like to do, but don't have the time or the money to do all of them--lots of different travel options, some major work I would like to do on my condo, the possibility of going to the Biggest Loser spa in Niagara Falls, stuff like that. My mind just swims with all the options.

I have trouble seeing delegating as good, because I was told over and over and over as a kid that, if you want something done right, you need to do it yourself!

Hmmmm. I think I would prefer to use the second book, because I like the memory box, the distractions box, and the daily weigh-ins, none of which are in the first book. But I think I might like to stick to the one-task-a-day format of the first book, since I think I can work through them pretty quickly this time around. What would work best for you?

This is a case where my education gets in my way!! I can spend hours mulling over all of the various theories of addiction and trying to derive specific strategies for breaking an addiction, which often contradict each other. Your suggestions make as much sense as anything I've tried previously, and I already know that the cold turkey approach doesn't work for me. It is definitely true that caffeine addiction causes morning grogginess. I know I would probably feel less anxious and be able to sleep much better if I could wean myself off the caffeine. I believe I would eat less, too, although I've never been able to abstain from soda long enough to test that! I disagree, though, that the caffeine is tasteless. I love the taste of regular Diet Coke but not the taste of decaf Diet Coke. I can tell the difference instantly. I absolutely think that drinking plain water would be the healthiest alternative in every way.



YAY you for going to class. Hopefully your plumbing is humming, and your weight will reflect it in the morning!

I finally got on the scale this morning; weighed 132.4 (up 1.6 from the last time I weighed, which was last Thursday), not as bad as I was expecting. I made it a point to dress up today so that I would feel better and be more motivated, despite the fact that I only got 3 hours of sleep last night (couldn't fall asleep because of the nap I took yesterday afternoon, I suspect). Stayed OP today but am not feeling entirely confident of mys self-control. I am looking forward to getting back to the basic Beck tasks, which I have gradually but inexorably allowed to slide.

I'm off to bed before I collapse on top of my laptop. Tomorrow is my last day of class. HOORAY!

Well, that's an interesting rule. It pretty much guarantees all classes taught more than half an hour or so from the main campus will be taught by PhDs, which sort of means the education at the branch campuses is...well, the LACs love to talk about how no classes are taught by grad assistants. Not that a grad assistant couldn't be a perfectly good teacher, but most of them are short on experience and very possibly short on interest in teaching. I'm sure there are numerous exceptions -- a good friend went for her PhD in English after having taught art for years -- but I remember when I was a teaching assistant and had to teach a couple of classes when the prof I worked for was unavailable. If I'd been one of those students I'd have asked for my money back.

I can imagine! Maybe overall it's a fair tradeoff!

Exactly. Plus she's probably more likely than average to second-guess herself, even though she probably put in five times the amount of time, research and thought the average student puts into selecting a college. Maybe those two go together!

I guess in the grand scheme of things that's a good problem to have!



I hear you. Because I just KNOW I could have done a better job. I try to be judicious about how perfect "right" has to be. I have volunteers who do the newsletter, the website, the volunteer coordination, and the facebook page for the farmers' market. None of the four of them do it as well as I'd like and I know if I were doing any one of those jobs rather than supervising all four in addition to all the other things I'm doing for the market, I'd be kicking butt. KICKING BUTT. But I do not WANT that extra work, and the fact is the jobs are getting done well enough to accomplish most of what they're supposed to. As well as the time I don't have to spend doing these jobs, I value the fact that four more people are invested in the market, as each of those people has a community of people around them who because they know someone involved are also that much more connected to the market themselves. To me it seems like having other people invested in an organization's goals because they've done important work without being micromanaged is one of the intangible benefits that can ONLY be accomplished via delegation.

I'd prefer to use the second book, too. Do you want to try to work through the second book using a task a day as our default? We can always agree for a particular upcoming task that we need more than a day for it.



Yeah, I guess you don't really need my thoughts on this so much! I've decided I'm going to try to drop to 1/4 caff/3/4 decaff and see if my hubby notices.

Why do you think you'd eat less without caffeine? Is that something that's been connected to caffeine? No kidding! I only drink decaff pop (because I never drink pop early in the day) so I guess I haven't compared them side-by-side. I can't tell the difference between coffee and decaff, or at least again I've never compared them side-by-side but I'm not aware of being able to tell the difference.

Hooray! Then, what, finals? So you'll be more or less finished by this time next week?

Report: weighed (no change, and also no progress!), no exercise today, ate too much pizza last night. I really do need to restart Beck and start doing my cards every day again.

Hope you had a great last day of classes!

EXACTLY!!! Our big selling point compared to the main campus is that our students are taught by Ph.D.'s, while the students at the main campus are taught largely by grad assistants. All of our PR describes us as having "all of the resources of a large university, in the atmosphere of a small liberal arts college." I taught as a grad student and was truly TERRIBLE--beyond terrible-when I started. But that's how I learned to teach.

I think so!

Those two things absolutely go together. It's the effort that was expended, and the vast information that was gathered, that make the decision so difficult--kinda like when I can't make up my mind how to deal with my diet soda addiction, because I have so much information!

I guess in the grand scheme of things that's a good problem to have!


I would imagine that having kids would teach you at least a little about delegating! But I never thought of how delegating would make other people more invested in an organization, but I think you are absolutely right. I do know that there's something fundamentally conceited in believing that no one else can do certain tasks as well as I do. It's also a bad attitude for someone whose job is to teach others to perform tasks that she can obviously do better than they can! I will try to remember what you said about the commitment issue.

Sounds perfect. I'm really looking forward to getting back into it again.



On the contrary, I ALWAYS value your input. You are incredibly smart, you know!

From the perspective of my personal experience, I know that there have been many times that I've gone out to the store to buy soda to wash my food down with, and many times that I've thought it wouldn't be worth eating something if there is no soda to go with it. Crazy!! Also, I've read that a caffeine "high" can feel a lot like hunger. And caffeine is a diuretic, and thirst can mimic hunger as well. But the biggest factor is the artificial sweetener in diet soda. The short explanation is that the sweet taste acts as a conditioned stimulus that causes the release of insulin as a conditioned response, and the end result of that is going to be hypoglycemia and increased hunger. That is probably the biggest reason that so many people who guzzle diet soda are overweight. (And I have noticed that, every time I have my hypoglycemic episodes in the late morning, it is after I have consumed a lot of diet soda with breakfast.)

So you're saying that you avoid caffeine late in the day? I guzzle it all day long, right up to bed time--a bad habit, to be sure. I realized today that I spend at least $50 a week on diet soda. I could do a lot with that money!! I also remember that, when I was a grad student and had to live on an austerity budget (my assistantship paid $333 a month, and that was my only income), Tab was my single biggest expense. I actually spent more money continuously feeding quarters into the soda machine than I did for rent! I've been consuming vast quantities of diet soda since Tab was first invented when I was 6 or 7 years old. My mother let me have as much of it as I wanted. I think she thought that it would somehow magically make me lose weight. (If only!!)
Yep, my finals are all on Monday and Tuesday. After that I'll still have a lot of grading to do, along with a couple of committee projects and reports to finish up, and a number of meetings. But things will definitely slow down.

I've only had pizza once since starting to diet. I used to practically live on pizza. That's a really hard food to eat in reasonable amounts.

My weight was up .6 today (took me by surprise and made me think UNFAIR!). I had a good personal training session and stayed OP. I went with a colleague to see "Pirates of Penzance" at the campus PAC. It was awesome. And it was so nice to see even the young members of the audience thoroughly enjoying a show that was so old-fashioned and "clean"!

Hope you had a better day today!

Back atcha.

That's a new one on me.

Yeah, I read an article a while back, maybe several, about the connection between overweight and drinking diet soda. I remember wishing I could read the actual report, because newspaper reporters are so often either clueless or intentionally obtuse when it comes to interpreting anything that could possibly be stretched to "Diet Soda Makes You Fat!" Wow, on the hypoglycemic episodes after lots of soda earlier! Hm, I do also remember reading something about artificial sweeteners' sweet taste even in the absence of actual sugar causing an insulin release.

Completely. In college I started to notice a connection between my insomnia (back then it was the kind that makes it hard to fall asleep, a problem I'd had since puberty) and caffeine and started cutting it out late in the day. Even a small amount after mid-to-late afternoon and I likely won't sleep all night. Occasionally I've lain awake at night wondering why I couldn't get to sleep and realized that, crap, it was those Oreos. For some reason I tend to "forget" that chocolate contains caffeine once I've had a glass of wine. For several years tannin caused me issues too and I couldn't drink more than a single glass of red wine in the evening, but that's gone away since I started menopause, which was a pleasant surprise.

Wow! That is a lot of diet soda! Yeah, $50 a week...there's your trip to Biggest Loser, girl! So you must not often be actually =thirsty= when you drink pop? I'm not actually thirsty when I drink coffee, but I'm not sure I ever drink pop unless I'm thirsty. Or maybe your body expects so much liquid that you -do- feel thirsty? Or at least "thirsty" maybe? Man, if I drank that much liquid I'd never be able to leave the house! I have a bladder the size of a thimble.

NO WONDER you're climbing the walls when you try to go cold turkey! You must almost literally drink nothing but diet soda? Is there anything else you enjoy drinking?

This is making me think about my own drinking habits. I need to drink more water. Literally the only time I drink it is when I wake up in the middle of the night. I think I'm going to try to develop a new habit of water drinking. I've developed a habit of ordering a glass of soda water when I order a glass of wine in restaurants and then requiring myself to drink the soda water before I can order another glass of wine, but maybe I should just make it WATER instead. Soda water's really not great for me either. I read somewhere that whatever makes soft drinks carbonated leaches calcium from your system, and I assume that means soda water is the same. I wonder if it's the same for naturally sparkling waters? And maybe I should make it a glass of water BEFORE each glass of wine -- that'll automatically make me drink more water, and it'll make each glass of wine "cost" me more. And if there's any element of -thirst- to wanting a glass of wine, maybe it'll even cut my wine consumption which would be a very good thing. Maybe I should start having a glass of water before every pop and coffee, too. Gah, not coffee. I can face it for the pop. I don't drink that much of it, and since I do drink it because I'm thirsty a glass of water might actually keep me from drinking the pop. But water in the morning when I want hot coffee sounds really unappealing. Maybe I'll start with water-before-pop-or-wine and reconsider it for the coffee at some later date.

Haven't you tried the NS pizzas? They're actually not bad. I liked the frozen ones best, but the shelf stable were okay too. Yes, pizza is really hard to eat in reasonable quantities. And this new pizza place that just opened up nearby delivers pizza that reminds me of my favorite pizza from college, a unique recipe that I've never found anywhere else and that is no longer made by that restaurant so I couldn't even have it when I was visiting Oxford. Bad news all around.

report: Gah! Forgot to weigh again! And I had a snackfest last night, bumming because it probably means I'm up. Class is cancelled today, though I can go to the 9:00 session with Giselle, so I may try to do that. Definitely need to eat light today. At least the plumbing's humming again.

You are certainly right about the sensational way that scientific research is reported in the news. In one of my classes I have the students do a project in which they compare an actual journal article to popular media reports of the same study. It's an eye-opener.

If you react to Oreos, you are way more sensitive to caffeine than I am. But I am sure that some of my sleep difficulties are related to my caffeine consumption late in the day.

I think diet soda actually makes me thirstier. I almost always feel thirsty. I always attributed that to my diabetes, so I expected it to go away when the diabetes was resolved, but that hasn't happened. And I do spend a lot of time in the bathroom, another thing I expected to improve when I got rid of diabetes, but that hasn't happened either.

Yep, on the vast majority of days, I drink nothing but soda (and, yes, that does mean that I consume no water at all on most days, I'm sorry to say). I hate the thought of consuming calories in liquid form, and there's no liquid that I enjoy enough to justify the calories. I need to just drink WATER instead of soda. The lack of water may be part of my constipation issues, even though I'm obviously consuming a tremendous amount of fluid.

Sounds like we both need to work on the water issue! I've tried the strategy of forcing myself to drink a glass of water before having soda, but I never stuck with it for very long. If you can do it, I think it's a good idea, though. As far as sparkling water goes, I don't think it's a major concern. I'm not absolutely positive, but almost positive, that it's actually the phosphoric acid that causes the calcium leaching, and I believe that phosphoric acid is only in colas, not other sodas or sparkling water. I just checked the non-cola diet sodas in my fridge, and none of them contain phosphoric acid.

Oh, yes, I eat NS pizzas regularly. I meant "real" pizza! I've still never tried any NS frozen entrees, so I've only had the shelf-stable ones (which I love). I'm glad I don't have any wonderful pizza places nearby!



Did you unconsciously forget to weigh because you are afraid that you may be over your goal, which would be the first time that has happened, right? Hope today was a better day for you.

My weight was unchanged this morning. Did no exercise. I saw my counselor, and we had a good discussion. My big news for today is that I have not had a drop of diet soda all day, and it's been a rough ride. My headache is manageable, but the grogginess is overwhelming. I feel like I'm swimming underwater. I actually took a 4-hour nap this afternoon and slept like a brick. I am going to bed now and am not worried that my nap will keep me from sleeping. I can barely keep my eyes open! Tomorrow will probably be the roughest day. My timing isn't great, when I have so much grading to do, but I'm going to stick it out long enough to get a sense of how my life would change, how I would feel, and whether the improvement is worth giving up my "crutch"!

I've always felt that instead of requiring college students to all take calculus, we should be requiring them to take statistics. Statistics, like Algebra and geometry, are actually useful to the non-mathematician. At the very least every journalism major should be required to take statistics.

Have you ever tried switching to decaff or drinking herbal iced tea or something else after dinner?

Not surprising if you're drinking all day, I guess!

No kidding! So Sprite Zero doesn't cause the same issues? That's way cool, as I probably drink 95% Sprite Zero. Very occasionally when I'm on the road I'll stop thirsty and find that I have zero noncaff choices and I'd rather drink caffeinated diet than decaff regular pop. I literally never order pop in a restaurant because you almost never find caffeine-free AND sugarfree.

Oh, duh.

Maybe subconscious, but it often coincides more with my having a bad night's sleep, getting up very very early, reading for a few hours thinking maybe I'll get back to sleep, giving up and making the coffee and not remembering I need to weigh until after I've started drinking it. That happened last night, but I remembered to weigh this time. No change. Yes, I'm right up against my goal. I've been in the 117s before, but not over them.

Oh, my! Well, best wishes! How long do you suppose it takes to get through withdrawal? What kind of changes in your life are you expecting/hoping for/fearing from breaking the habit?

Kent doesn't require either one of those courses, but I totally agree about statistics. Understanding statistics can truly make a difference in day-to-day life, and I work really hard to make my students understand that!

Sometimes I would switch to diet 7-Up after dinner, to get away from the caffeine. I don't like iced tea in any form, though (unless you count Long Island iced tea! ; I wish I did, since there have been many times in my life when I've been someplace that iced tea is the only drink available.




Nope, Sprite Zero shouldn't affect your bones!


Under those circumstances, it's no surprise that you would forget to weigh, particularly when you are concerned about waking up other people.

Today, the headache was considerably worse but the grogginess wasn't as severe. I would imagine the withdrawal will be done in a couple of days. I don't know that I am expecting; I just know that the desire to break this habit has been brewing for a long, long time. But my FEAR is that my life will be so much better that I'll have no choice but to stop drinking diet soda permanently!! Time for me to go to bed. I only took a half hour nap today, and I am really beat. It was nice to sleep so deeply last night, though. That is one benefit I have discovered already. Oh, and I forgot to weigh myself this morning (I guess I can blame it on my brain fog).

Do you ever find that not keeping your caffeine intake up during the afternoon or evening causes headachiness or grogginess?


Bummer on the headache being worse...I don't know that I've ever had a -headache- from no caffeine, but I've definitely felt grogginess from it.

Wow, so just with a day off caffeine, your sleep was better! So it probably was affecting your sleep!

Report: weighed (no change), ate reasonably. Had a crappy night's sleep AGAIN and skipped my exercise class this morning. I just felt physically ill from lack of sleep. I'll have to take an ambien tonight for sure.

Hope you have a less headachey/groggy day today!

Yes, which is why I would often keep drinking Diet Coke even through the evening, especially when I had to work in the evening.


Today (day 3) my headache was minimal, but I am still very, very sleepy. In fact, the reason I didn't post last night is that I decided to take a short "nap" after dinner, planning to get up after 45 minutes and get back to grading. But I accidentally set my alarm for 7AM instead of 7PM, and I slept all the way through to 7AM without waking up! At least I was in my bed, but I was fully dressed!



Yes, I do definitely think the caffeine was affecting my sleep. Instead of waking up 5-8 times every night, I am now sleeping through the night or waking up just once to go to the bathroom (compared to 3-5 bathroom trips per night in the past). At the moment I'm still feeling very tired during the day despite the improved sleep, but I would imagine that will resolve itself eventually. I apparently have a lot of sleep deprivation to make up for!

It's definitely really hard to exercise on little or no sleep. I am wondering what it will be like for me to have my first training session (scheduled for Thursday) without caffeine! I hope you had a better night's sleep last night and a better day today.

My weight was up to 135 this morning. I'm slightly anxious about that, but not panicking. (I'm probably too groggy to panic!) I've eaten 1500-1550 calories for each of the last three days, so I shouldn't be gaining. I know my metabolism is probably a little slower now that it is not being fueled by a continuous infusion of caffeine (I'm going to wear my Exerspy for the next few days to see), but that can't account for such a big gain. I'm guessing that I've probably been chronically dehydrated for a long, long time and am now normalizing.

On a happier note, my constipation seems to have resolved itself. That alone is a HUGE reason to lose the diet soda forever, assuming that is the reason for the change. (It's hard to tell, since I've confounded the variables of decreased diet soda intake, greatly increased water intake, plus I started taking a probiotic supplement the same day I quit the soda.) The other interesting change is that my hunger feels different. I'm still definitely getting hungry, but it doesn't have the desperate, gnawing quality to it anymore, which makes me wonder if I am still ever hypoglycemic. I don't have any more glucose testing strips, which are very expensive (my insurance won't pay for them anymore since I am no longer diabetic). But I am planning to buy a box so I can repeat Beck's hunger-is-not-an-emergency task. I am very curious how that would turn out.

I need to get to bed. I have a 7:45AM final tomorrow, along with a mountain of grading, and I am so darned tired. I am really looking forward to Wednesday, though!

Wow! You must have needed the sleep, though!

No kidding! I'm not sure how you -could- get enough quality sleep if you actually got up out of bed 3 - 5 times during a night!



I'll be interested to hear how you feel about facing your exercise as a decaffeinated person!

LOL on being too groggy to panic! Yeah, I guess it wouldn't be surprising that you're dehydrated...have you been drinking lots of plain water over the past few days?

Very interesting all around! So, yeah, it's hard to know which of the various changes you've made have changed all of these things. But it definitely sounds like this change is going to have a lot of positives!


I bet! Report: weighed (no change), am planning to go to class tomorrow morning. Went to the doc today and got permission to use my boot less, so that's cool!

As crazy as it sounds, I always thought that was just "normal" for me. After all, I've been living that way FOREVER! And being diabetic for 30 years, I just assumed that my frequent nighttime bathroom trips were the result of that.



I feel nervous about it, that's how I feel! I assume that exercise will feel harder, at least initially. But I have faith that it will be better in the long run. I'm going to go to the gym in the morning for the first time since going caffeine-free, so I'll get a taste of what it will be like then. Anything I do on my own won't be as intense as a training session, though!

Yep! I believe I've been drinking about a gallon and a half of water each day, roughly the same volume of fluid I used to consume in the form of diet soda.

I think so, but a part of me still wants that NOT to be true so that I can go back to my old habits!




YAY on starting to wean yourself from that boot! I remember how hot and uncomfortable those are when the weather gets warm and humid. I'm sure you'll be glad to dump it. How's your pain level?

My weight was unchanged this morning. I wore my Exerspy today, and it says I have burned precisely 1700 calories today, a little less than I would have in the past, but not a huge difference. Considering that I did nothing today other than sit at a desk, I'm happy. I was afraid maybe my metabolism would have decreased really substantially. I had a completely OP day until tonight, when I had another dessert-fest in response to discovering that my first eHarmony match (Mr. Can't-Make-Up-His-Mind) called me and left a rambling, pretty incoherent message about how me misses me and is sorry he's been out of touch for so long (it's been six or seven weeks since I heard from him last). I went straight to the food after that. Then I got out both of Beck's books and read the introduction to both of them. That practically made me cry, recognizing just how far I have let myself slide in terms of her tasks. I'm very, very glad to be starting over and to be devoting myself to this ultra-important effort again. Tomorrow I plan to do the first four tasks in Chapter 3 of the second book (the first four preparation stages prior to Stage One). Because I have been so sleepy lately, I've gotten behind on my grading and still have a ton to do. But I want to start anyway. I NEED to feel in control again, REALLY in control, not just temporarily getting a grip until the next meltdown. Enough is enough! And my trip is less than a month away now.

I hope you had a great day. Tomorrow we start anew! I know it will be just what I need, and I hope it will be of great benefit to you, too.

How did it go? How often do you go to the gym on your own vs. having a training session?



WOW! That's a lot of water!



Maybe you need a set of advantages cards for your diet soda habit!

Very little pain, some swelling still. She said it would be at least another month before I should do anything that involved impact.

Does caffeine actually increase metabolism? I didn't realize that.

Strange.

Good for you!

I'll try to reread the first three chapters, too, and get those first four tasks done. Not sure if I can get it today -- very very busy right now trying to get final prep done for the farmers' market.

I think it will benefit me a LOT.

Lately, I've only been going to the gym once on my own, in addition to the two training sessions. I did go today, and I didn't notice any significant difference from my caffeinated days! YAY!



I've always sipped diet soda all day long, so now I'm continuously sipping water instead. I drank close to 2 gallons today (and spent a lot of time in the bathroom as a result).



I already thought of that and plan to do it!

Yikes. I've lost track--how long have you been in the boot now?

Yeah. On the Biggest Loser, they strongly encourage contestants to start the day with strong coffee for that reason (but they do NOT recommend diet soda!). Speaking of BL, the finale was last night, and the guy who won lost 199 pounds in 6 months--more than a pound a day!!! And he lost 51% of his starting weight. I'll never understand how they keep up that rate of weight loss for months at a time.



I did do the first four prep tasks today. I bought a new notebook, cards, and a memory box. I also bought a bunch of yarn for my distractions box, so I can work on an afghan (even though filling the distractions box is task 7--got a little ahead of myself). I always used to crochet as a distraction when I was dieting. I started doing that back when I did WW as a kid, and it always helped me, so I decided to try it again. I already have all of the other materials for task 1. Task 2 is to set a modest weight-loss goal. I'm going to aim for losing 5 pounds and then re-evaluate. Task 3 is to make time for dieting. I have a general schedule in mind for summer, one that will allow me ample time to do all of the Beck tasks and to exercise at least 5 days a week. Task 4 is to get a diet buddy--CHECK!

I had a really nice day today. I was oddly content and anxiety-free, despite weighing 135.8 this morning (ACK) and spending much of the day grading statistics tests, which is tedious at best and infuriating (because so many of the students just DON'T GET IT) at worst. And here it is 2:30 in the morning, I spent the whole evening after choir practice grading, I have to get up early to start grading again, and I'm happy! Weird. I'm sure part of the reason I feel happy is that I went to the gym, and I had a very low calorie day (ate just one meal, along with 3 protein shakes [decided to try your strategy for cutting cravings], for a total of under 1100 calories). And restarting Beck makes me happy, too.

Hope you also had a happy day, despite your work at the farmer's market.

Yay! Probably the extra rest is helpful!

Good grief! I can't imagine drinking 2 gallons a day!

Almost exactly a month. I'll be glad to have it behind me!

I know, and the rate at which they lose is sometimes very suspicious. Like the week Jeremy got eliminated, all three of them lost between 10 and 15 pounds. Kim lost 15 POUNDS! In a week! At her size? After having numerous weeks where she lost between 2 and 8 pounds, she starts at 162 and ends the week at 147? I'm sorry, there's some sort of laxative and/or diuretic abuse going on here. And Jeremy loses 50 pounds between the semifinal and the finale? What?

How did you know that about BL -- that they recommend strong coffee, I mean? Is that stuff they talked about in earlier seasons? There seem to be lots of things I don't know that are common knowledge to BL fans who've been watching for longer than I have. Like the cases where the light goes off when someone gets eliminated -- someone mentioned somewhere that the cases had their former favorite foods in them, and I was like, "They do? When did they talk about that?"

Oh, you bought new! I'm just going to use my current ones, as I still have room.

That's okay, she'll forgive you. Well, my weightloss goal is 3 pounds. If I lose 3 pounds, I'll have my safely-below-goal going again. Task 3...I am having a hard time with this one right now. Crazy busy with the fm, tonight Michael gets home, tomorrow is Jane's birthday, Saturday is the fm and then a friend's son's college graduation party, Sunday is stitch, then things calm down a bit.

Do you think the caffeine might make you feel more anxious? Or at least, the lack of it just feels calmer? Me, too! Glad you had a good day! I didn't weigh -- up again at 2:45, gah! -- but tonight I'm going to take an Ambien. I've started cutting our caffeine, too, though now that you tell me about the metabolism stuff it make me worried, too!

ARGH!! I had a long post all typed out, and then it went POOF right before I hit submit. This version will be shorter, I'm afraid.

I'm sure it is! Today I totally hit a wall and was so tired I could barely function. I ended up taking a long nap after my training session, with the result that I am now even further behind on my grading. I sure hope I can finish grading by the time of graduation tomorrow evening. In my 29 years at Kent, I have never failed to do so, and it would just feel wrong to have to go home after graduation and get back to work. Graduation feels like a marker that gives closure to the school year.

You know how smokers always say that part of their habit is due to a desire to have something to do with their hands? I think holding a container of liquid serves the same function for me.

It seems longer than a month to me. And I bet it seems even more so to you!

There's a long time span between the semifinal and the finale--two months, I think? But it's still hard to understand some of the dramatic changes. I don't doubt that there's some serious abuse going on behind the scenes.

In addition to watching the show since its inception, I've also read all of their books, along with numerous magazine articles about the show. I've also read several memoirs by former contestants. So I'm sure I know more about the show than is healthy!!

I had been using a Longaberger basket that I have since sold, so I just bought an inexpensive file box. I plan to pretty much scrap my cards and start over--a true fresh start.

Three pounds sounds like an imminently reasonable goal. I totally understand the time issue and how life just gets in the way sometimes. I guess we need to keep reminding ourselves to make ourselves a priority, too!

I absolutely do. I think it is amazing how calm I am, considering that it's finals week!! Who am I, and what did I do with Robin????

Sheesh, you get up about the time I go to bed!! I hope you get a better night's sleep tonight! I wouldn't worry too much about the metabolism issue. The effect, while statistically significant, is still small in magnitude. I've been paying careful attention to my Exerspy, which seems to bear this out. I actually burned almost 2100 calories today, even without caffeine, so I'm not going to worry about it anymore. The huge positive changes definitely outweigh the small decrease in metabolism.

My weight was down 2.2 this morning--a surprise, but a welcome one! I consumed about 1420 calories (should definitely put me in a deficit, if my Exerspy is to be believed) and had a personal training session. I didn't have time to work on any additional prep tasks from the Beck book but will definitely do so over the weekend.

I hope by the time you read this you will be well rested!

FRIDAY NIGHT (actually Saturday morning!): Hope you are OK! I had a decent day. Weight was down another .4, had a personal training session at which my trainer outlined his extreme plans for my summer "shape-up" (third day in a row I went to the gym-yay me!), had a deficit of about 400 calories according to my Exerspy, did not quite finish my grading in time for graduation tonight but can see the light at the end of the tunnel. Tomorrow I can start back to reading Beck and continuing on the tasks.

SATURDAY NIGHT: Weight was unchanged this morning, had a deficit of about 650 calories today, went to the gym on my own for an hour (4th day in row to the gym, a record for me!). I continued with the prep tasks in the second book. Task Five--I organized my kitchen cupboards and threw out the few remaining NS desserts I had (don't trust myself for now). Task Six--I read all of the memory cards I previously created and put them in my new box, along with a divider to separate them from the new ones I will add this time around. Task Seven--I got together my distractions (Sudoku, bananagrams, crochet supplies, a book I got at the conference where I met Beck last year but still haven't opened, a fashion magazine, a decorating magazine, and a list of websites to visit) in one of my favorite Longaberger baskets. Task Eight--Talk to my family? Can skip that one! Task Nine--Build a sense of entitlement. That's the one where Beck talks about learning to make your own needs a priority instead of always putting others first. My first inclination was to say that obviously that one doesn't apply to me, either, but then I realized that it does, in a way; I may not have a family making demands on me, but I certainly let my work, my students, and my colleagues put lots of demands on me, and I usually respond to those before I get around to taking care of myself. I won't have a chance to work on that one much over the summer, but will use that time to work mentally on getting to a more balanced place prior to the start of the next school year. Oh, and I also made a graph where I can record my daily weight and hung it on the back of my bathroom door. I never did try graphing my weight, but I think the visual record will be helpful.

I still have a couple of hours of grading to do tomorrow. I plan to go to the gym again after church. I will also work on the last prep task--creating the initial response cards. I think I'm going to completely scratch my old ones and start fresh, creating new ones. Even if they repeat the themes of the old ones, I think I can improve them and make them more relevant, and the repetition will help me.

I hope you're OK--I'm getting a little concerned now!