I’m confused about the whole body image thing. As some of you know, I’m a neo-feminist and I spend a lot of time reading all sorts of ‘Girl Power’ books. Recently, I’ve been doing a lot of reading on body image. Here’s the problem: what does it mean to have a good body image?
I know what it isn’t. But I don’t know how to define what it is. I know that I don’t like my body. That I feel like I’m at war with it. That I’m uncomfortable in it. That I’m not satisfied with the way it currently is.
But does having a good body image mean giving up? I read these essays and article by all these women who claim to have a great body image because they’re happy being 300 pounds. Is it true? Or is it that at some point we just throw our hands in the air and say ‘I give up! I can’t fight the images that the world constantly throws at me so I’ll rebel against it all together.’
I notice that I don’t see a lot written by ‘normal’ or ‘thin’ women saying that they’re fine with their bodies. Is it just assumed that they are? I don’t think so.
At what point do we make peace with our bodies? And can we do it while still working to improve them? I’m coming to terms with how I look, but I don’t think I’ll ever stop trying to make it better. I want muscles and leanness. I want my curves to be firm and not squishy. Does that mean I can’t accept myself for who or what I am? Or is it that the whole ‘body image’ thing is just another bunch of propaganda?
Interesting question. I haven't given too much deep thought to 'body image' because I'm not overly impressed with my body at the moment and I know that by whatever definition of 'good body image' we have, I wouldn't have that. Although I try to not let that stop me from doing too many things.
For me, I think having a good body image, would be being at a point where I don't stop myself from doing something due to some excuse or reason pertaining to my body shape or size. For example, I currently am hesitant to dance in the presence of some people. I love dancing around, and I dance a lot in my apartment by myself, but in front of some people I'm not comfortable, and the reason is because I feel self-concious about my body. I can dance crazy in front of some friends, but not all of them. I think that when I am comfortable dancing around *anyone*, then I'll know that I have a good body image.
But I wonder, if I do get to that point where I am comfortable doing these sorts of things, without worrying about what it might look like, would I still be wanting to 'fine tune' aspects of my body? I think that the answer is 'yes.' I think that at some point I *will* be comfortable doing all these things, *even if* I still think that I want to improve. As long as the 'wanting to improve' isn't holding me back, I would classify myself as having a good body image at that point.
I know I will never have a good body image of myself, partically b/c society has painted an image in my mind of what is good and what is not. I will never have perky perfect boobies because surgery is out of the question and thats the only way I'll ever get them. Same with my tummy, I have alot of loose skin from being so fat, will I get surgery to correct that, prob not, so I will never have that perfect body image thats in my mind and painted on every billboard you pass.
When I was 150 lbs I felt fat (I am 5'10"). I felt like I had to weigh 130 or something like that, what was I thinking. In my mind I feel like I have to be 130 size 10 DUH DUH DUH... I give up easily when it comes to dieting and exercising because deep inside I know this is not obtainable. I told DH this the other day and said to him, get this and get this strait, I will NEVER be 140 lbs NEVER !!!!!!! 165 yes (poor man didn't know what hit him and he never complains lol). I guess I was kinda yelling at myself but took it out on him.
I am however trying to come to terms with it and accept it.
Personally I do not belive 300 lb women are happy with their bodies, I believe and this is IMHO, that they are learning to just accept how they are.
I also know some thin women who also have ugly body images of themselves.
I also will probably never have a good body image and I don't think it really has everything to do with the weight. It is so much more than that....your nose, your chin, your eyes, the wrinkles, the hair etc. And of course also how you feel in your head. If you aren't happy with yourself in other ways besides weight how do you think that you would have a good feeling about your body image. Now that said, if you weigh 300 pounds and are perfect in the head then I guess it is possible to say you have a good body image But I wonder too if they aren't "throwing up their hands" as Star said.
I do know that I definitely feel better about myself and am starting to see the difference in how I look. It just makes you feel more confident and sexy when you look and FEEL good. And for me those two are unfortunately or fortunately linked...depends on how you think about it.
The pretty people win in this society and we all know it. But I would take just one day being happy with me as a person, wife, sister, daughter, aunt whatever over being the skinniest person in the world.
Wow, I picked a heck of a day to be gone. I have to put in my 2 cents.
I've always been "heavier" than most of the people around me. However, it did not make up who I am. I can honestly say that I have no clue if I have a good body image or if I'm just in denial. Most of the time I'm disappointed when I look in the mirror cause gosh darn it... I'm just not as beautiful as I FEEL.... but the image in the mirror doesn't stay with me for very long.
Since I've lost weight, I'm more confident in the way my body appears to others, but I would have to say that I'm not more or less comfortable with it than before. I know I'm heavier than a lot of people, but it doesn't bother me excessively.... I know what I can do and I know that I'm able to go out and run a mile or bike 60 miles and that's good enough for me.
I FEEL like a beautiful person 100% of the time. Honestly. I go through my day smiling (usually) and confident in the person that I am, which includes my appearance. Yet, I never thought to ask mysef if I have a good body image or not until Star presented the question. Is it really possible that no one has defined this???? Is this because the body and mind are one until there is a problem (such as excess weight gain, small breasts, large nose, scarring etc) and then the negative body image appears.... Maybe there is NOT an opposite to a poor body image....maybe it's just the absence of strife regarding the body. Which just seems odd. Or maybe our society just likes to focus on the negative and thus has never focused on what would define a positive body image.
I'm trying to get a handle on my body image now, but everything is in such flux! The changes are happening so fast! Intellectually, I have a lot of data on what's going on, but emotionally I'm confused. It's getting a little better just this week as I have joined a gym with big mirrors throughout the weight and machine rooms, so I can see myself in motion. I think I'm beginning to look pretty normal-- like a normal woman my age who could maybe stand to lose a few pounds and get in better shape. I don't look obese anymore, that's for sure.
"Kinesthetically" I'm doing fairly well. I did a lot of aerobics and dance, so I have a pretty good idea of where I am in space at any one time-- I'm not clumsy. This offsets the odd feeling of not knowing where my body's "edges" are, which I'm getting because my dimensions are shrinking steadily. I think playing more sports this summer will also help. My golf game is completely different now, even my putting.
My looks were never my strong point, even when I was slim, so I don't necessarily have a lot of "trust" in the mirror, no matter what I see. And just recently I got a shock as the fat came off my face: time has taken it's toll, and I look like my father.
Going into Banana Republic and just buying whatever I like does make me feel like a "real girl," and that's a boost. I guess I'm pretty confident that my body will do anything I ask of it, and I'm grateful to it, so to speak, for cooperating in the weight loss project. In a way, I feel it's "she" and I together in a partnership, a new friendship. That's a huge change for me.
Body image is also, let's face it, about competition with other females for male attention and various advantages in life-- even jobs. In that arena, facial beauty wins, and it even trumps body shape, up to a point. That's not nice, and it's not right, and it's not fair, but it's reality.
That's just another obstacle to overcome, though. Look at Diana Vreeland. One of the ugliest women in the 20th century, yet she ended up on top of the fashion pyramid, an industry where looks are seemingly more important than life itself. If she can do that, I feel I have no excuse for giving up, bad body image or not.
Location: on a beautiful island Pacific north west
Posts: 128
Well, I have no idea what a Neo-Feminist is at all but as for the body image, I'd have to say it differs from person to person. There are those who will never be happy with their body no mater what, and others who are happy with their bodies no mater what. I think how you feel about yourself and your image has a lot to do with how you live your life, and the level of happiness you feel. I am doing this weight loss thing because I want to improve my chances of long life and I want to feel more energetic, but I have always been happy with myself the way I look, and never once did I think I was in any competition with other females for any kind of attention. I just don't see it that way. I guess I really don't care what others may or may not be thinking about how I look, I can't be bothered with any baggage. Its enough just to live my life the best I can and I'm damn well going to be happy every step of the way.
A little rant on body image
But I wonder too if they aren't "throwing up their hands" as Star said.
