Howdy, y'all. I've been lurking around this site for some time, but have rarely (if ever,) posted anything. After a weeks-long bout with depression and severe binging episodes, I am finally trying to get control of my health again. I've been tracking my food intake on The Daily Plate, and making daily walking a priority (the dog is very pleased.)
For the last couple of days, I have been out drinking, despite my knowledge that it is a huge trigger for my disordered eating, and really screws up my sleeping habits. So, after a late cocktail hour and a couple hours of light, drunk sleep (yes, I passed out on a friend's couch,) I am home alone, and real sleep just isn't going to happen tonight. I allowed myself a small sandwich and a half-serving of Ben and Jerry's around 1am, busted out the novel and the Dave Matthews records, and now it is 4 am, and I desperately want to make the frozen pizza that winded up in my freezer last night (convenient store shopping while drunk is never a good idea.)
Unable to kick this fixation, I thought maybe writing this post would help, or at least buy me some time. If I can just make it 'til the "real" morning, I can justify having Totino's for breakfast, though I imagine that if (when, please, when!) I make it that far, a healthy meal will be perfectly satisfying.
I am lurker too, and I don't have the answers but I wanted to let you know you aren't alone. I am an emotional eater and for me what makes it more difficult is that I am home all day so I have access to my drug of choice food. But it can be done and I am proof of that also and I like you plan on getting their again. Six years ago I went low carb for 12 weeks, lost 50 lbs and got all my bloodwork in order, I have managed to keep of half the weight but I am starting the lc diet again. The key is to never give up. It isn't a game so if you don't live up to your expectations today you always have tomorrow. And sometimes it is a moment thing, and it is hard to understand the why's of this addiction. Or accept the fact that we know what we should do but can't seem to do it. We are only human and in that we don't always make the best decisions, but continue to work towards your goals and take it one step at a time. You can't climb the mountain all at once it is one step at a time.
Spread -- let us know if you made it through! It is so hard to resist junk when it's in the house and just calling out to be eaten! I still live at home and I'm surrounded by cookies, frozen pizzas, chips, and just a general assortment of crap! Is it possible for you to remove the trigger foods from your environment? I know it's hard at first (and drunk shopping doesn't help, lol...I used to do that all the time as an undergrad at the campus food mart that was open 24/7), but if it's not there, you can't be tempted by it!
Is there a hobby or some other activity you can do that involves using your hands? I find if I keep my hands busy, I'm less likely to go in search of food. Especially if I'm doing something that requires keeping my hands clean (I stitch, lol, don't judge!).
And post all over this place! I've used this site to procrastinate for hours...reading posts, responding to some, looking at pictures.
I hope you made it to morning okay...and post more often!! We always love having people on our binge-free challenge thread...I think that's what most people read and respond to! Djksin...come over to the binge-free challenge thread too!
Foxxy, I found living at home really doesn't help much. It's always full of cookies, chips and processed junk. Moving out with my partner has helped get rid of a lot of that but it's still hard.
I've found that keeping my mouth busy helps. I tend to chew a lot of gum to try and prevent myself from eating too much. The first 10 minutes is the hardest part but eventually I don't even notice and I'm not hungry anymore. Also, drinking water can help. Train yourself to reach for water instead of food. I hate the taste of water myself so that's the hardest thing for me to do.
Thanks for the responses, y'all. I did make it through that time, but the next night, I let myself go entirely, and the same the next night, even though at that point all that was left was low-carb bread and fruit. I ate 700 calories at 2am (had to force myself to "track it," on the calorie chart- would have been so easy to avoid that blemish!) I will try to remember to take advantage of "distracting" myself here in the future.
Hormones are a major factor in these episodes- PMS always makes me Think I'm So Hungry, and to convince myself that "just a few days," of binging is acceptable, is all too easy. Of course, even "just a few days" of increasing caloric-intake by 50% in the wee hours will cause weight gain in the grand scheme.
Today I have tried to arrange all my meals at later times; hoping that will curb the urge at night... and I should get a hand-held hobby- if only I could stop obsessing food long enough to figure out what I'd like to do.
As for simply not stocking the stuff, it's impossible because I just got a new roommate who apparently lives on junk food- and is a rail, of course. It's interesting to watch someone like this, but it's obvious that he has a handle on his "intuitive eating" process- he eats a plate full of crap, but then he stops! And he doesn't eat again for hours! I can't even imagine trying to explain my thought-process to someone like this, so here's hoping the fear of utter humiliation should I be "caught" will be helpful?
4 am distraction...
