I don't know how much of this is to do with weight, with insecurity over weight frustrations, with my body freaking out about being on a diet... I have long term anxiety/depression issues but right now just sucks. I've been doing really well, happy, working hard, seeing a great guy. This past week has been hard, home seeing family and kind of getting treated like furniture, as well as restarting getting serious about diet/exercise. My mother has a lovely habit of making me feel worse about my body whenever I go to her for reassurance - you'd think I'd have learned by now just NOT TO GO TO HER. My boyfriend is away for four days with his friends, hasn't called once, has only texted a few times, and I'm left feeling really alone and wondering if I'm wasting my time in a relationship with someone who isn't able to give me what I need. One of my best friends just moved across the country, I just moved apartments, I'm about to start my last semester of college, am writing an honors thesis, have applications due for a million internships and fellowships, and am just at the absolute end of my rope. Am I crazy for trying to deal with weight on top of that? Am I just crazy? I really need an effing hug.
I'm so sorry for everything you are going through. It sounds like you have a lot on your plate. However, I don't think you should put off focusing on weight loss and your health. This is something good and positive you can do for yourself and it sounds like that's what you need right now.
I'm sorry I can't offer better advice. But just know that it will pass and it will get better.
*Hugs* Don't give up! Putting effort into diet and weight loss may seem like a huge burden on top of all of this other stuff you have going on in your life, but as cabinwife said, this is something positive you can do for yourself amidst all of this stress right now. If you say the **** with it and give up and start eating whatever, you may start eating lots of junk out of comfort to cope with everything thats going on and gain the weight back. Imagine how much worse you'd feel then! You lost 30 pounds so far.. that is SO great! You obviously CAN do it, don't give up! It may feel reallyyy hard right now, but each day that you continue to stick with what you're doing you can look back on the day and congratulate yourself for your hard work and on following through despite all of this stuff going on in your life.. and that will help get you to a better place!
And if nothing else, exercise has been shown to help with depression.. so it will have a double-good effect!
Bekka here is a . I hope you are feeling better. It sounds like you are under quite a bit of stress at this time. Try not to be to hard on yourself.
Just try to diet the best you can. Is there some other family member or friend you can talk too? I'm sorry your boyfriend isn't there but at least he is texting you. Maybe curl up with a good book. Or watch a comedy.
Hang in there.....one thing I've found, and I know this might seem unbelievable, is that when you've got the eating under control, other things seem easier to get under control. When I eat whatever I want, I just get lazier, more slug-like, in a worse mood. So although you may have a lot going on right now, if you can win the eating battle it might make it easier to deal with the rest. Your body might be adjusting to the new diet. Make sure you are getting the right amount of calories to fuel your body. Good luck to you!
I am in the exact same situation as you are... whilst as distant as my boyfriend is now, after this year at university he's moving to Cambridge for up to 4 years and I'm here, and everything is going to be okay...? My dissertation is nowhere (and I didn't get the supervisor I wanted)
Annnyway, what I'm trying to say is that I know exactly how you feel. You just have to take things one day at a time and remember that you're living life for yourself. But sometimes it just helps to take a day off--just watch TV, go to the cinema, just relax.
I'm sorry things are so bad right now, but they will get better.
My boyfriend is away for four days with his friends, hasn't called once, has only texted a few times, and I'm left feeling really alone and wondering if I'm wasting my time in a relationship with someone who isn't able to give me what I need.
Don't get your feathers ruffled over this...Please. THis is a sure fire way for your relationship to end if you get possessive over your man when he is on a PLANNED trip with buddies. I don't know a single man on this planet who will call and text several times a day when they are drinking beer and playing golf with their buddies. (or hunting, or skiing, or what ever it is they are doing.) Focus on you. Pamper yourself. I totally agree with Kellost, in that when you stay in control of your eating plan, other areas of your life follow suit. Enjoy the alone time. Find you for peace. You don't need all those other people to make you happy, you must first find it in yourself.
Sweet hugs to you. I know that's sometimes all we need, to merge into another person who will absorb and dissipate your hurt. Know we are all here for you.
And ... I noticed a lot of your stress is GOOD stress ... you're in your last semester of college! You're writing an honors thesis, which means you must be smart and motivated! You are able to apply for internships and fellowships! Wow! You are fabulous.
Sweet hugs to you. I know that's sometimes all we need, to merge into another person who will absorb and dissipate your hurt. Know we are all here for you.
And ... I noticed a lot of your stress is GOOD stress ... you're in your last semester of college! You're writing an honors thesis, which means you must be smart and motivated! You are able to apply for internships and fellowships! Wow! You are fabulous.
Totally agree with this. I've just finished college and i know how hard it is, especially dealing with depression and disseratation at the same time so you are doing really great.
You can't expect a guy to call you every 5 mins when he is 'out with the lads' but you know you will be the centre of his attention when he gets back. If you are feeling lonely give one of your mates a call and have a proper girly chat, girls are always there for you at the end of a phone.
I really feel for you. I really hope you'll stick it out with your plan. Maybe your boyfriend not calling is not the only thing he has done....maybe that's just something in addition to other things that let you know he's not completely devoted? If this is the only thing he has done wrong (for the most part, nobody's perfect), then it's really not that bad at all. I think right now is a good time for you to focus on finding your happiness. Yes, you're busy with your academics, but that's a good thing!
Maybe you could treat yourself to a favorite activity? How about getting a cup of coffee and reading a book at a cafe (secretly people watching)? How about spending that time you would have spent with your friends going for a walk with some great music? Maybe you could paint your nails? The point is that YOU and you alone can make you happy. Sure, it's nice to have good company but when you can find a way to be happy without it, then you will find that you will surround yourself with good quality people.
The Bf thing, well I"m old and been married FOREVER! He's probably just taking a break.
I know that when I head out to a Husker game or to help my son with his highschool football team, or go hang out with my sis, I don't call DH. He knows where I am. I actually get annoyed when he calls and bugs me. It's a short vacation for me. Anywhere from 4 hours to 48 hours. When he takes a weekend to go hunting or to a pool tournament or whatever, I don't call him. I take advantage of the time to pamper myself and do stuff I would not normally do if he were home.
Anyway, with all you've got going on, just stop for a few seconds, take a breath, this is not going to last forever.
You have so many positive things that you can focus on ... you have already lost 32 lbs of your goal of 50; that's 2/3rds the way done! WOW! You should be so proud of yourself ...
You are almost finished college; gonna get yourself a degree ... that's fantastic! Ok you moved; that's a major stressor and so is the friend moving, but hey, you can email, text, and call her anytime you want! Focus on your other good friends ... call one -- and play a game with her for fun!
I know some family aren't supportive but you're mom is alive ... mine isn't and I sure wish she was here! You are so blessed to have family that you can visit and a mom to talk to and call; OK maybe she is not as supportive as you would like, do you have a sister who is? Or a cousin, or Aunt? What about grandmothers? Mine were awesome when they were here ...
And on top of that you have a wonderful boyfriend, who sounds very typical of most guys; that is the way most guys are -- well, at least he has text you 3 times on a 4-day trip; many wouldn't! That's a big plus ...
You know often when I felt glum, I would find out later it was hormones; sure enuff, a few days later my TOM would show up ... and then I would laugh at myself and feel silly ... happened every time!
Keep focusing on all your wonderful accomplishments and qualities -- your cup is more than half full, it is running over ... BTW, here's some more ...
Last edited by Justwant2Bhealthy; 01-12-2010 at 11:19 PM.
Remember this: emotions are okay. Even when they feel extreme. Society, our parents, etc teach us we are only supposed to be happy. Forget that. No matter what you feel, its okay to feel it.
And I think you are doing well enough. You have stressors in your life but I think you are handling things well under the circumstances. AND the others have given very good advice.
improbable i feel like we're in the exact same boat! my boyfriends going away for five months and hes my real support system and my mom is the QUEEN ***** when it comes to my body.
this seems so so so impossible but you have to just ignore her. judging by your scale on your post you have made AMAZING progress. some people will always just want more and more and more. but think of how wonderfully you've done (i wish i was in your shoes thats for sure!). just look at yourself and make sure you're happy with you.
Really struggling - can't stop crying
. I hope you are feeling better. It sounds like you are under quite a bit of stress at this time. Try not to be to hard on yourself.
