a plan that is working for me...maybe for you too!
I am a recovering food addict/emotional binge eater. This is a long post but I hope those of you dealing with severe food addiction and emotional eating will take the time to read this. I feel it can be a source of comfort and encouragement. Let me start with my background. As a young woman I was very thin. After my 3rd child at the age of 24 I got back to the gym and became a total fitness nut. I ate extreme, worked out extreme and had a REALLY hot hard body.
After years of life's trials and tribulations I got away from that extreme lifestyle and slowly started the unhealthy cycle of crash dieting. I'd put on a few pounds over winter and then crash diet all spring to prepare for summer. Oh it worked. I usually only had to lose 10-15 lbs. But what I didn't know is that I was wreaking havoc on my entire body and laying a foundation for disaster.
In 2001 I was pretty fit. I still worked out, but more like a normal person, not a nut. I was still crash dieting off those winter pounds but I was in pretty nice shape. Then that June my husband passed away. I plummeted downhill from there. I won't get into all the boring details but by 2005 I had gone from a sickly 100lbs (due to the grieving) to 195 lbs.
Let me give you an example of how I was eating: Breakfast from fast food places, usually TWO sausage, egg and cheese sandwiches, taters, soda. Lunch: if it was mickey d's I usually had a big mac, 4 piece nugget, cheeseburger, soda, 2 apple pies Dinner: If it was BK I had a double or triple whopper, fries, soda. Whenever I went into a Subway I was definitely NOT picking a 6 inch turkey no cheese, no way, I was getting 12 inch cheesesteaks etc. After work I would come home and go into the pantry and just binge for 10 to 15 minutes. Cookies, chips, crackers you name it. Then I finally realized I was even sneaking food.
I guess I subconsciously knew that what I was doing was wrong and humiliating so without even realizing it I started going to places at night alone and parking in parking lots eating fast food. {Sidebar: what a lot of people don't realize, those that have never experienced using food for pure comfort is the sense of euphoria, calm, physical peace you derive from such binges. You temporarily feel as though "everything is alright". It truly is like an alcoholic taking that first swig of alcohol each day. It is a high, just like any drug or alcoholic beverage can bring} Also, what a lot of people do not realize is that the damage that drugs and alcohol can sometimes heal quicker than the years and years of food abuse.
Sometimes, the damage can be truly irreversible. As such, severe food addiction truly needs to be addressed as such, an ADDICTION. I was out of control. I cannot even get into the realm of emotions, feelings, etc. that got me to this point or the "whys" and "hows" so if anyone wants to contact me to discuss my situation and their situation further please find my personal email at the end of this post and feel free to email me. There just isn't enough time to get into all of that here.
For me, God played the biggest part in my recovery. I realized I wanted to move to the next level of my walk with Christ. I also realized that it was time for me to grow up and mature as a Christian. So I surrounded myself in prayer, Christian reads, Christian programming and I started on this whole new journey I am now on. I told God, "God, I want to try doing this with just Your help but if it doesn't work then I will go to therapy".
Thankfully, God did intervene for me. And let me tell you something, its been a hard road. But what I want to tell you all that suffer from the same affliction is that you must set small goals and work to achieve each one at a time. Where I am at now is almost to where I wanted to be. So it has basically taken me more than 2 years to cleanse my system. Yes folks, two long years. I know that sounds discouraging but the key is to not give up.
Understand that as you are abusing yourself you aren't just self medicating whatever emotional and mental issues you have, your totally screwing up your physical body. Once you have determined why you are self medicating with food (whether it be with support groups, counseling or through the Lord or all of the aforementioned) you have to understand that it will take a while for your body to adapt. It will fight you to keep feeding it the sugar, salt and chemicals its become addicted too. Case in point, there are so many foods that I would have gagged on two years ago that I now not only can tolerate but enjoy. Okay so I knew that you had to cleanse your body of those toxins before your palette came back to life but no one ever told me it could take A YEAR OR TWO!!!
So previously I was just convinced it wasn't going to work for me and I'd give up and start eating garbage again. But God kept on top of me this time and I am so glad He did! Because finally after 2 years of setting small goals and sticking to it I am seeing some serious differences. #1 I've only lost 20 lbs to date but let me tell you it looks like I lost 40!! My butt is so much firmer, my tummy is flatter, my clothes are so loose on me now. My skin is clear and my face looks 5 years younger. My features are more prominent and youthful because the face fat has started to go away. My nails are stronger and my hair is healthier. I sleep so much better. My spirits are better. I'm not nearly as irritable, tired, I can run up the stairs like I used to without heavy breathing. I feel terrific. But the biggest changes, I don't turn to food for comfort or to relax anymore. I have a conversation with my kids, or get online, or go for a jog (YES I SAID JOG!! I haven't jogged in 10 years and now because I started real slow with small goals I am now at the point where I can jog 1/2 hour 3 times a week!)
But I can't stress to you more that it takes time! Where did I start, well I started by swearing off ALL fast food. In the beginning I would treat myself once every 3 months as a reward. (Now I don't even want that, its yucky to me now). I walked 3-4 times a week for 1/2 hour. Then after I mastered those goals I started to work on my diet and play around with different things. Like for a while I did the 3 small meals and two snacks. Now I'm at a point where I'm having a small meal every 2-3 hours. That seems to work best for me. I like a lot of protein and dairy. With the dairy I eat all natural low fat. "Non- fat" products seem to have chemicals and additives so I avoid them. I eat a lot of soy, chicken, fish and twice a month I have lean red meat for the vitamin and nutrients that only red meat can offer.
Then as far as my workouts I graduated from a 1/2 hour moderate walk to 40 min power walk with 2lb weights. Then I added upper body (bicep, tricep, chest, shoulder, back) exercises and lunges and squats to my power walk. Now I do the exercise walk with the upper body, lunges and squats twice per week and jog 3 times per week. I also bike a couple of times a week for 50mins to an hour. For a while I still couldn't get used to burning the extra cals so I was constantly craving crackers and munchy food. So I snacked a lot letting my body take its course. Now I am finally at a point where I don't need to do that nearly as often.
I just kept being conscientious of it. At night I meditate and stretch before bed which I feel prevents injury and of course helps me to relax before bedtime. But folks once again let me say this has taken me TWO YEARS!! You cannot just put the breaks on and overhaul yourself and expect to be able to stick to it after years of abuse! After two years I am now finally ready to take the real weight off. Here are a few tips:
#1 recognize you are a food addict and that you self medicate with food.
#2 address the issues in your childhood and/or adult life that are connected with this form of self medicating/self soothing.
#3 small baby steps. set small obtainable goals
#4 immediately add 1/2 to 1 gal of pure plain water to your diet and 1 cup green or nettle tea EVERYDAY FAITHFULLY (where Depends if you have too!!! lol)
#5 Get up at least 20 mins and do some sort of physical activity that will raise your heart rate #5 monitor your blood pressure and heart rate and track it. Wait til you see the difference there!
#6 Protein, protein protein and dairy. Easy on the complex carbs. Try to slowly eliminate processed foods. Use whole wheat pasta and whole grain breads and brown rice
#7 Slowly reduce calories. Don't just decide what you should intake to lose the 1.5-2 lbs a week. That does NOT work for food addicts!! Slowly start to reduce your caloric intake each week until you hit your goal of 1200. 1500 2000 cals a day etc.
#8 Love yourself throughout the entire process. Negative self dialogue is killer. Start telling yourself how strong you are, how beautiful, how faithful, how loyal, how friendly, how helpful you are. If you begin to think negative thoughts about yourself immediately stop and say something positive!!
#9 if you are spiritual please look to your higher power. For me it was obviously our beautiful Savior Jesus Christ. He loves me no matter what, He has loved me all throughout, He has always been a constant in my turbulent life.
10# stretch carefully to prevent injury after being sedentary for so long.
11# be creative with your workouts if your an outdoors lover. hike for an entire day or take a 1-2 hour mountain bike ride on your favorite woodsy path. Walk on the beach (terrific for the calves!) Walk the mall, many malls have groups who exercise walk before the stores open but the mall doors open. Also if you have cable TV check out the free workouts "On Demand" under the sports & fitness tab then exercise TV tab. I love the "start walking" tab. I started out in the middle of winter when it was too cold to go out. I would do Leslie Sansone's 1 mile walk and worked my way through to the 3 mile walk. If your issue is severe enough I encourage you to seek professional help.
There are many mental health centers that have a "sliding scale" so that you can pay only what you can afford. I think if you called your local Social Services office they may be able to point you in the right direction. Finding support through others can be helpful too. Check out Craigslist for an activity partner and even to start a walking group in your neighborhood. I wish everyone on here my prayers and blessings. It has been a hard road for me. I had to come to terms with a lot of my deepest and darkest times. I had face up to my horrible self esteem. I had to face the loss of my husband and grandmother just two years later. I had to deal with things that happened to me as a child. It wasn't easy but I truly am a new creature, and a new creature in Christ. God bless you all, you can email me at [email protected] if you'd like to talk more. -Jen
~I don't believe in coincidence, I believe in God and I am not lucky I am blessed!~
Thanks for writing this post. I could relate to a lot of what you are saying. Much of my excess weight is due to prolonged grief that I did not resolve promptly when it happened.
Good luck in your continued journey. It is good to hear that you no longer crave fast food. Wonderful! Keep up the great work.
Last edited by better health3; 08-03-2009 at 11:11 PM.
WOW, what a great post. I could see myself in so much of what you were saying and its really a wake up call. Alot of my problem is self medicating, self abuse and its time for that to stop, I've been doing positive affirmations recently, really focusing on positive thoughts and stopping those negative thoughts constantly. It was amazing to see just how many negative thoughts were floating through my mind daily! They were ALL negative, no wonder I felt such self hatred. Positive thinking is key, its helped to motivate me and find this place!
Thank you so much for your post! I'm going to try to set small goals instead of setting big ones, since the big ones clearly aren't working.
I am also a Christian and that was a good reminder for me as well - to ask God for help in this.
a plan that is working for me...maybe for you too!
