OMG do you ever catch yourself feeling all hot and glamourous and then catch site of 278 lbs. and go WOW WHO DO I THINK I'M KIDDING?!
don't get me wrong, I'm grateful and happy for the weight I've lost and I'm on track and gettin the job done, but WOW can I fool myself sometimes LOL Just like at my heaviest I thought "oh i don't look that bad...I "carry" it well" yah right!
and knowing that i'll STILL be fat 100 lbs. from now is a bit overwhelming, so I'm concentrating on losing 10 lbs. 10 times, that's all
WOW, you girls are doing great! And yeah, I know what you're saying. I do the same thing. I've lost 27 pounds and feel so much better. I notice I hold my head higher and have less trouble looking people in the eye. And then I catch sight of my reflection in a window or mirror, and I realize that I have SO stinkin' far to go!
It usually happens when I slip on something sexy or trendy and I feel all hot....then I look in the mirror.....and see a fat girl trying to look cool.
Now, I'm not saying I'm that cynical each and every morning, but I'd say a good 3 out of 5 looks in the mirror are that way. That's down from 5 out of 5 a month ago, so hey, I'm making progress
I totally do this. Walk around feeling pretty darned good about myself and then catch a glimpse in a window and realize there's still a long way to go and I'm still a fat chick even after losing 85 pounds.
I'm getting to the point where 10 pounds lost really shows, so I'm hoping this will happen less and less.
I totally know what you're saying, because I've been guilty of it more times than I really care to remember. I'll be feeling smexy and ready to go hook me a hottie, and then I stop and think "Who the heck are YOU kidding?"
I just laugh it off, which may make me even more delusional than I already thought I was.
I've noticed a change recently, though. For years, I avoided mirrors and reflections in store windows. That's one way I was able to avoid the truth of how I looked. Now, I'm facing them head on. Each and every opportunity. I think I'm moving out of denial and delusion, and have a better sense of how I really look. That being said, I am also talking to myself more gently about what I see. I'm still a little sad to see a big middle-aged lady staring back, but at the same time I'm being understanding about where I am and am reassuring myself that I'm going in the right direction and taking care of myself. I'm not shooting as many recriminations and shocked, disgusted gasps at the reflections. I see that the color in my face is pinker, I'm more healthy looking, and I'm doing the job.
It's still daunting, but like you I'm concentrating on 10 lbs. at a time.
I have people telling me - literally - everyday how great I look. All I see is ugly - always have - always will.
nooooooo don't say ugly!!! heavy maybe! chunky possibly! but never ever ugly !!! nooooooooooo!!!! we can't say that about ourselves, because then that's what others will see!!!
I've always thought I've had kind of a pretty face (heheh maybe i'm delusional about that too!!!) but I don't care ! I refuse to see myself as ugly!!!
so please don't say you're ugly if you're a cutie pie on the inside it has to show on the outside, bar none!!!
I know EXACTLY what you mean. That used to happen to me all the time during the course of losing my weight. I would be feeling sky high about losing the weight, thinking I was looking pretty sharp and then, all of the sudden, yikes, I'd catch a glimpse of me somewhere and think, who am I kidding? Sure I looked better, but by no means did I look, well whatever.
It does get better. I promise you. One day you may actually start to believe that you look pretty darn hot ALL the time, all right, MOST of the time, make that some of the time - no kidding.
Quote:
Originally Posted by witchyonadiet
I have people telling me - literally - everyday how great I look. All I see is ugly - always have - always will.
You too will one day see yourself as beautiful and you know what, you don't have to lose another ounce to do so. Because I'm sure you're beautiful right this very second.
I see that the color in my face is pinker, I'm more healthy looking, and I'm doing the job.
It's still daunting, but like you I'm concentrating on 10 lbs. at a time.
You know what, I noticed this just the other day. My skin looked better. Healthier and pinker. I hadn't exepcted that at all. I would not have thought that gaining all this weight had affected me in the color and quality of the skin on my face. Weird, huh?
For the whole month of October I have worked out 6 days a week at the gym I joined. I do an hour of cardio on the elliptical and treadmill, and then I do the weight machines. I knew I hadn't lost that much weight for the month. Only 3 pounds, but I was convinced that I lost inches, and I actually saw myself as looking a little leaner. I took my measurements on the first of November and the only place I lost was on my hips and I actually gained a half inch on my bicep!! I was shocked and so disappointed that I didn't lose all those inches.
Today, I went to a luncheon and felt fat and frumpy in my clothes. I got lots of compliments about how cute my outfit was and all I could see was that I was no different than a month ago.
I just want real change and I'm so tired of waiting for it.
It usually happens when I go out. I look in the mirror before I leave, and tell myself I look good - and feel really good about myself. By the end of the night, though, it's usually a different story - when all my friends have been hit on at least twice and not one guy has even said "hi" to me.
You know what, I noticed this just the other day. My skin looked better. Healthier and pinker. I hadn't exepcted that at all. I would not have thought that gaining all this weight had affected me in the color and quality of the skin on my face. Weird, huh?
I have noticed this too... and my HAIR is amazing. I have never had good hair before and now suddenly it is shiny and soft and I have a million little sprouts coming in (so it looks a little funny in a ponytail) so I think my hair volume is increasing.
I had one of those delusional moments last night... I got dressed up and went to bar... I haven't been out to a bar since I was about 215 and I got tons of attention. For some reason I was expecting that and I strutted my stuff from one end of the room to the other and didn't get a second glance. OUCH OUCH OUCH. My ego is super bruised.
I do this all the time. It is almost ridiculous how many outfits have become part of the give away pile after seeing my reflection or a picture. I keep trying to just focus on the improvements (the muscles that are starting to show) & let my eyes flow over the areas that I'm not close to happy with (my gut).
anyone else delusional???
if you're a cutie pie on the inside it has to show on the outside, bar none!!!
