I felt great about myself even when I was at 260 last time... And I still think I looked good:
Nothing changes the fact that I was not happy about the second chin. Thankfully I got it... Because without it I likely wouldn't have started the decline.
I KNOW I am hot when I do my makeup and bother... But throw in my allergy and I can't wear makeup often if at all. Add the second chin and I am downright horrified at how far I let myself go.
I am still not "bad" looking. I am just not where I want to be and for me I think I am stunning at 180-220. Considering I only have to double what I have lost already to reach that point... I look forward to it. That and the mountains of awesome clothing I have held onto.
where are the fat women in bikinis? I admit, I'm not standing in line to be that woman, but I think it's important to "fake it til you make it" even in attitude.
That would be me... I am back into it when I hit 220 and you can bet your bottom I am going to prance around in the one that is supposedly only for tanning.
I mean really... I bought it. Wore it when tanning for a year... Then packed it away because I had gotten a bit too big for a string bikini top with high cut bottoms. It might have been something to do with the fact that the material is an awesome steel gray with blue undertones but it also has metallic thread so I didn't want to ruin it.
I already pulled it out and checked that it was all still looking good.
Boy can I relate to this...I have to say, even when I was thin and fit I thought I looked fat. So I never trust my opinion, oh how I wish I looked like I did then right now!
I keep telling myself this time around that I'm going to try to enjoy every stage of losing this weight, right now I know I'm not looking svelte but I'm down from a 4xl mens tshirt to an xl and my jeans that I couldn't get around my knees 3 months ago are too big for me now. I love it!!!! And when I'm back down to 180 or less and wearing a size 10 I'll love that even more hehe.
I want to focus a lot on the fact that I can sit at a booth at a restaurant now and not feel like I can't breathe. I do aerobics for 90 minutes six days a week now and I couldn't walk 10 feet 3 months ago without feeling like I was going to die. Hopefully if I can keep focusing on the positive things about myself at this point in time I won't start feeling as defeated as I have every other time I've tried to do this. At some point in life I have to start giving myself a few pats on the back, it's tough for me though after a lifetime of tearing myself down..most times more than anyone else. I'm my own toughest critic.
I just hope that when I come to the end of this journey this time I can look at a thin, healthy me and finally be satisfied. I think being happy with yourself has a lot to do with maintaining weight loss, and I know that will be my toughest obstacle.
I'll look at myself in the mirror one day and be like "Oh I look so pretty"... then I look in the mirror a little later and it's like "what the heck was I thinking???".
I usually wonder if I'm craking up lol. I'm happy it's just not me
I'll tell you something - I've been kind of hanging out at my current weight for a couple of months until last week. Why? Because I was pretty okay with the bod. Down 60 pounds, feeling so much better, maintaining with no problem...
THEN an aunt sent me some pics from a family reunion in August. WAKE UP CALL! I DO look better and I DO feel better, but I'm no skinny chic yet. Not even close. Still - according to our friend the BMI table - obese!
Time to step it up again (and I have) and get the rest of this weight off! I want to look as good as I feel. Without delusions. Losing the first 60 was really so much easier than I expected, so losing the rest is very do-able.
But - honestly - I do look pretty darn good on my bike these days, ladies! Pretty darn good!
Last edited by traci in training; 11-06-2007 at 03:06 PM.
We can and do look good. It is not an either/or. I have been a size 6 and maybe I will be again--who knows but I am not living for that day! I call that "stinkin thinkin". Live for today.
I look nice today because I chose to look nice today. I had insecurities when I was a size 6. I had a boyfriend who treated me like ****. I was broke. I had pimples. My life wasn't a bowl of cherries or a garden of roses. I was raped when I was that thin!!
These are all mind games that the world wants you to sucker into. You don't need to be thin to be beautiful. Get that in your head and leave it there. Beauty is more than skin deep. I am more beautiful today than I was then. Why? Because I was shallow and vain then. I was mean to some very nice boys and girls. I was a snob. I was rude. And, I was ugly on the inside. I look back at that girl and say "You poor pitiful thing." And most people thought I was going to be a model or movie star!! Seriously.
I think gaining all this weight was the best thing that ever happened to me. It made me eat some major humble pie.
My life is not going to be different when I lose all this weight except for one thing----I will be healthier.
This happens to me quite frequently. My hips have shrunk a bit, so I'm better proportioned now (in my opinion), and I'll stick on a shirt and it fits properly and everything looks nice in the mirror. Then someone will take a picture of me and it always shows off that bit of a second chin (my most hated feature) and my arms and I realize how far I am from looking how I want.
Thanks tamaralynn and grneyedmustang. When I hit 220 again I am going to go back in front of a camera in the same dress...
When I am not "bumming around" I can look pretty darn good. I think that is a really big part of what snapped me back into reality... That and passing that 300 lbs mark.
Big girls can be pretty too... But I like me between 180 and 220 best.
This is the very first thread I've opened on this forum, and it couldn't have been a better place to start! I do this ALL the time, I have trained myself to fake confidence, but at the end of the day it can be soooo defeating! I feel so much better...
Well, even the lowly light bulb started as a dream
Feeling good is what keeps us going.
, and a 
...
