Alright, so I would like to know just how supportive your boyfriends/hubbies/girlfriends and the such are?
Last night I went to my boyfriend's softball game and after the game one of the women brought out cupcakes that were frosted and baked in ice cream cones. I used to have these all the time in elementary..parents would make them for birthdays. Anyways...it wasn't hard to decline because I just didn't want one. I said "Thanks, but I'll pass" and my boyfriend spoke up "She can't have one!!"
He smiled big at me and I just smiled right back and thanked him. He's always encouraging me to workout even if it means less time together and such because he knows how important it is to me....besides that fact that he benefits from it too.
Of course he can eat the cupcake because he's a 5'9", 145 lb man that has very high metabolism and exercises like crazy. Sometimes we even exercise together.
So just how supportive are the people you're in contact with everyday?
personally I would find "she can't have it" said in public to anyone by anyone about me to be insulting, maybe it's the tone i'm missing but it makes it sound like he's controlling you especially since YOU had already refused...
that being said... my husband is very supportive. he eats what I make, never complains that there is no junk in the house and does not bring me bad stuff to eat... he also sucks it up and eats dinner alone on the nights i want to go to the gym....
My husband is somewhere inbetween, but he's gotten better over the years. He's never had a weight problem, and he doesn't understand why it's such a problem ("Just eat less!"). Actually, he doesn't even care that much about my weight either. He just cares that I'm miserable when I'm fat and that I want to avoid social situations. He used to tease me a lot about going to the gym. He still thinks it's silly. He always swears that exercise has very little to do with weight loss (I kind of agree w/ him on this one, but I want to tone up anyway). He also thinks that if people would just put some real effort into daily activities (raking the yard, pulling weeds, cleaning out the car, etc.), they wouldn't need to join a gym. I see his point, but for some reason, I feel the need to compartmentalize my exercise so that I'm sure I'm getting in the time I need to get in.
This time around, though, he hasn't been knocking my efforts. Actually, he's been somewhat encouraging. In the past, I usually had to cook two separate meals because he wouldn't eat the things I wanted to eat. For example, I may want grilled chicken, but my husband doesn't like that; he wants it fried. But this time, he's told me many time to make his meals the same as I'm making mine (I don't do it all the time because I know he doesn't enjoy it as much).
My SO is just moderately supportive. He adjusted to the changes in our diet without a struggle and happily eats all the low calorie dinners I prepare. But sometimes he pushes food on me that he doesn't want to eat or throw out (he hates to throw out food but often doesn't want to eat it himself). For a while, he was annoyed about my exercise schedule on the weekends, esp. since it sometimes means we don't get to sit down to breakfast together, which is one of our weekly traditions, but he's learned to live with it. When we do have breakfast together, he does still insist on bacon; I'd really rather eat something else.
And some of the things your boyfriend does for you would bug me. I would be PO'ed in a big way if my SO ever told me that I couldn't eat something, esp. in front of others. I also don't need him to encourage me to exercise; I do fine with this on my own. So I guess my SO is about as supportive as I need/want him to be.
DH is losing weight with me. We both had pounds to lose when we got married and then (of course) we gained more. Lol. I think that's normal. We are really supportive of each other. I think he misses having some things in the house, but he knows he shouldn't be eating it either. I cook mostly the same dishes as I did before, I just tweak them so they are lower in cals and he's cool with that.
I usually walk on my lunches during the week, but if I want to walk on the weekends he usually comes with me and we bring our dog.
Man...I do NOT know anyone more supportive than my boyfriend. Talk about patience.
That boy has listened to me talk about my relationship with food, my weight, my feelings about obesity, my feelings about diets, my feelings about 32309810 different diets, my promises to do better, my broken promises, my failed attempts for a year and a half, my half successes, EVERYTHING!!
And what has he done? Listened. And said something every now and then. And talked to me about it. He's done every little single thing possible to help me. He's gotten mad at me once or twice, but for good reason!
I've tried to break up with him because of my self esteem from weight.
He says he's proud of me. He tells me it wouldn't matter if I lost weight or not, but he encourages me. And he says he's going to help me when I'm living with him when I'm on maintence. He says that he'd be disappointed if I let food beat me so easily.
There's so much he's done. I feel so bad for him
But he's a keeper, I know that! And I'm gonna snag him
Last edited by Gamerchick; 06-15-2007 at 02:41 PM.
I would be PO'ed in a big way if my SO ever told me that I couldn't eat something, esp. in front of others. I also don't need him to encourage me to exercise; I do fine with this on my own
Me, too! My sister's husband is a real jerk. He is always on her back about exercising. When she eats something that looks as if it isn't a "diet food" [even if she's worked it into her calories], he looks at her pointedly, and believe it or not, he even starts sulking. Yep, he's a prize (NOT!).
Just for clarification, I'm not saying that your bf is like that BabyBrownEyes. Obviously, he supports you or you wouldn't have posted.
My hubbie is supportive to a certain point. He tells me I look good and he congratulates me on my weight lose. As long as it benefits him he is happy, but there are times when he has to eat diet food that he gets frustrated. He makes comments about you don't have to workout every day, even though i only work out 4 days a week. If someone offers me food he will say things like just one want hurt. If it puts him of schedule then he is a little unsupportive.
Terrie
My boyfriend is so supportive - if it weren't for him, I would have never had the will power to start losing weight. He's perfectly happy with my body the way it is now and always has been - but he knows I WANT to lose weight. He's aware of the excuses I make for myself, and points them out to me. He's seen me fail more diets than I can count over our three years together, and it finally got to the point where he wasn't going to let me fail again.
He asks about my exercise regimen, and what I've eaten that day. I'd never let him see me eat cookies because of the "talk" that would ensue - not because he dislikes my weight, but because he knows *I* dislike it and he knows how I operate. Most people would hate being under watch by someone in regards to their diet, but I love him all the more for it. I know he does it for my own benefit and not his, since I've eaten cookies all the day long before when I wasn't watching my weight and he wouldn't bat an eyelash. (Yeah, I have a problem with sweets).
He also helped me stop drinking soda when we got our apartment together. At first he said he didn't want to spend the money on Coke or Pepsi so we'd just buy Faygo products - and I don't really like Faygo that much but I preferred it to water. Then, we started saving the bottles and cans to recycle (you basically have to in Michigan to get back the extra 10 cents they charge on soda) and they'd accumulate in the closet and aggravate me so much that I gave up on soda completely. Now I'm perfectly happy drinking water all day.
I guess I would want to make a distinction between being supportive and 'policing' our diets. My bf is always totally supportive with my weight loss and maintenance plans--he eats whatever I want us to eat and he is proud when I lose weight or achieve some new exercise milestone. He also listens to me when I process my feelings about food or dieting or whatever and he doesn't try to sabotage or undermine my efforts. He uses less oil in his cooking than he used to.
That said, he NEVER asks me whether I've been to the gym or whether I really want that extra piece of pizza or in any way tries to police my diet efforts. He has never tried to control my eating in public or in private and has never announced to a crowd that I 'can't' eat something.
Yeah... my bf is supportive. When he knows I'm considering making a bad food decision he says, "Babe, are you sure that you want to eat that?" He doesn't say it in a codescending tone or anything, and at first I would get pissed off.. but he would say, "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to make you upset, I just wanted to help." Then I would eat it anyway. As I've come out of my depression, though, whenever he says it I just acknowledge it and thank him for reminding me. He always exercises with me, too. Although he's 6'2 and 145 lbs.
Is he Super Supportive?
