A Husband Is At Home Watching A Football Game When His Wife Interrupts, "honey, Could You Fix The Light In The Hallway? It's Been Flickering For Weeks Now" He Looks At Her And Says Angrily; "fix The Light, Now? Does It Look Like I Have An Electricians Logo Printed On My Forehead? I Don't Think So!" The Wife Asks, "well Then, Could You Fix The Fridge Door? It Won't Close Right." To Which He Replied, "fix The Fridge Door? Does It Look Like I Have Hotpoint Written On My Forehead? I Don't Think So." Fine, She Says, "then You Could At Least Fix The Steps To The Front Door?" They're About To Break." "i'm Not A Damn Carpenter And I Don't Want To Fix The Steps", He Says. "does It Look Like I Have Woodies Diy Written On My Forehead? I Don't Think So. I've Had Enough Of You. I'm Going To The Bar!!! "
So He Goes To The Bar And Drinks For A Couple Of Hours. He Starts To Feel Guilty About How He Treated His Wife, And Decides To Go Home And Help Out. As He Walks Into The House He Notices The Steps Are Already Fixed. As He Enters The House, He Sees The Hall Light Is Working. As He Goes To Get A Beer, He Notices The Fridge Door Is Fixed. "honey", He Asks, "how'd All This Get Fixed?" She Said, "well, When You Left I Sat Outside And Cried.just Then A Nice Young Man Asked Me What Was Wrong, And I Told Him.he Offered To Do The Repairs, And All I Had To Do Was Either Go To Bed With Him Or Bake A Cake."
He Said, "so What Kind Of Cake Did You Bake Him?" She Replied, "hellooooo.......do You See Bettie Crocker Written On My Forehead? I Don't Think So!"
REGISTRATION MUST BE COMPLETED BY JULY 30th. NOTE: DUE TO THE COMPLEXITY AND DIFFICULTY LEVEL OF THEIR CONTENTS, CLASS SIZES WILL BE LIMITED TO 8 PARTICIPANTS MAXIMUM.
Class 1 How To Fill Up The Ice Cube Trays --- Step by Step, with Slide Presentation. Meets 4 weeks, Monday and Wednesday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 > > PM.
Class 2 The Toilet Paper Roll --- Does It Change Itself? Round Table Discussion. Meets 2 weeks, Saturday 12:00 for 2 hours.
Class 3 Is It Possible To Urinate Using The Technique Of Lifting The Seat > > and Avoiding The Floor, Walls and Nearby Bathtub? --- Group Practice. Meets 4 weeks, Saturday 10:00 PM for 2 hours.
(Note: this class meets at O'Malley's Brew Pub on 16th Street)
Class 4 Fundamental Differences Between The Laundry Hamper and The Floor --- Pictures and Explanatory Graphics. Meets Saturdays at 2:00 PM for 3 weeks.
Class 5 After Dinner Dishes --- Can They Levitate and Fly Into The Kitchen Sink? Examples on Video. Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM
Class 6 Loss Of Identity --- Losing The Remote To Your Significant Other. Help Line Support and Support Groups. Meets 4 Weeks, Friday and Sunday 7:00 PM
Class 7 Learning How To Find Things --- Starting With Looking In The Right Places And Not Turning The House Upside Down While Screaming. Open Forum. Monday at 8:00 PM, 2 hours.
Class 8 Health Watch --- Bringing Her Flowers Is Not Harmful To Your Health. Graphics and Audio Tapes. Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours.
Class 9 Real Men Ask For Directions When Lost --- Real Life Testimonials. Tuesdays at 6:00 PM Location to be determined.
Class 10 Is It Genetically Impossible To Sit Quietly While She Parallel > > Parks? Driving Simulations.
4 weeks, Saturday's noon, 2 hours.
Class 11 Learning to Live --- Basic Differences Between Mother and Wife. Online Classes and role-playing. Tuesdays at 7:00 PM, location to be determined
Class 12 How to be the Ideal Shopping Companion Relaxation Exercises, Meditation and Breathing Techniques. Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 > > PM.
Class 13 How to Fight Cerebral Atrophy --- Remembering Birthdays, > > Anniversaries and Other Important Dates and Calling When You're Going To Be Late. Cerebral Shock Therapy Sessions and Full Lobotomies Offered. Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours.
Class 14 The Stove/Oven --- What It Is and How It Is Used. Live Demonstration. Tuesdays at 6:00 PM, location to be determined.
Upon completion of any of the above courses, diplomas will be issued to the survivors.
Class 7 Learning How To Find Things --- Starting With Looking In The Right Places And Not Turning The House Upside Down While Screaming. Open Forum. Monday at 8:00 PM, 2 hours.
Barbara Walters (20/20) did a story on gender roles in Kabul
several years ago before the Afghan conflict. She highlighted
how women objected to the custom of having to walk about 5 paces
behind their husbands.
She returned to Kabul recently and observed that women still
walked behind their husbands, walked even further back, and
appeared pleased with the custom.
Ms. Walters approached one of the Afghan women and asked, "Why
do you now seem happy with this old custom that you tried so hard to
change?"
How to weigh yourself correctly
Those are so good, Ilene. 
