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Old 06-03-2003, 03:24 PM   #1  
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Unhappy I stumbled a bit...

I've been gone for awhile - and I have a confession to make - I've gained back every single pound I had lost while I was away. /Sigh

Long story made short - I found out a couple months ago that two suspicious freckles were, in fact, melanoma. I had a large incision on the back of my leg (21 stiches) and one on my upper arm (16 stiches) - which made it impossible to exercise. It was not only painful, but I was told the very ugly scars would become even uglier the more often I stretched them out. I guess I also kind of "internally freaked out" a little more than I thought, and I started binging endlessly.

I honestly didn't think I was so upset, I handled it outwardly very well... but I guess I can't fool my subconscious, eh? Apparently I turned back to my drug-of-choice, food, to make myself feel better.

Of course, now I feel much much worse.

At least this time I honestly saw a direct cause-and-effect to my binges. So often we're told, "Oh, you overeat because you're depressed or anxious or lonely or bored" - and I think we all believe it, however, it's all so very subtle that it's difficult to see or fully understand why we do it. The "why" we are looking for isn't "You eat - why? Because you're anxious." The real why is: "Why do you feed your anxiety with food?". Knowing the first is essential, but knowing the second will allow you to heal & repair.

Anyway, I am spending the next few days reading all the posts I've missed - I hope all of you are doing great and thanks for having me back. I look foward to getting to know everyone again.
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Old 06-03-2003, 03:40 PM   #2  
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Lunula, I'm so sorrry you've had a rough time. Those damned freckles. I've got about 100 moles, and I just wish the doctor would remove them all before something bad happens. At 10 bucks a pop, I can hardly afford to pay for them all.

Don't worry about the weight... at least you got rid of the cancer and you're alright. You can get back on track, and we'll give you a kick in the bum when you need it.
Hang in there sweetie...
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Old 06-03-2003, 04:18 PM   #3  
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Oh, Lunula! You poor thing-how awful! Thank goodness they took care of that before it got worse.

Last edited by mauvaisroux; 06-04-2003 at 09:22 AM.
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Old 06-03-2003, 07:25 PM   #4  
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Lunula-I'm sorry to hear that things have been so rough and scary for you. I've gained all my weight back too, and with no real REASON. We all slip sometimes, and it certainly sounds like you have been having a rough time. A lot of us here are trying to get back on track. You KNOW it has been an up and down battle for many of us. I am VERY glad that you are doing better now, and we can all just try to get back on track together!!!
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Old 06-03-2003, 08:00 PM   #5  
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I'm sorry things weren't going well Lunula. But you are back, and can get back to the whole weight lose thing. And if any of us were really good at it and didn't gain it back, we wouldn't have to be here any more. But here we are. We all just keep on trying.


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Old 06-04-2003, 10:51 AM   #6  
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Yeah... I've been here for over a year now, and I've finally lost 2 pounds.
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Old 06-04-2003, 04:44 PM   #7  
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Lunula, you can lose weight any time, but thank goodness the moles are off and you are OK! I had a mole removed on my leg and they said the scar would stretch and look awful too, but you know, it is OK. And who cares what it looks like as long as YOU are OK! So glad you are back -- Love, Lidian
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Old 06-08-2003, 11:19 AM   #8  
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Unhappy scary stuff, glad you are ok!

lunula,

i've had 4 moles removed... some barely scarred at all, but unfortunately the one on my right breast did because they're so heavy they pulled the stitches! oh, well, at least i don't have cancer. well, that was a few years ago and i'm starting to worry about a few others, but i am a little scared to go back. guess i just have to deal with it.

i've never (yet) been able to keep weight that i've lost off... so yes, that's why i'm back here, too. this forum has been awesome and so welcoming, so i'm sure you are in the right place and have a lot of great friends here who will help you get back on track.

good luck!

and remember to think of food as fuel for your body, not your soul, right?
--gypsy
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