Virginia! It took a lot of courage to face yourself and take the steps to gain control of your situation. I will be sending good healing vibes your way for you to help you on your way
Amyjo: Wow, you have been through a lot with your family. You should be proud of yourself for becoming the great person that you are and overcoming those obstacles!
Ok, time for a new topic. Since Virginia shared with us her problems with alcohol addiction... maybe our new topic can be addictions.
Does anyone ever feel that they are addicted to food? Anything else? Why do we eat when we aren't hungry? What are the things we are trying to avoid when we turn to food or other addictions?
I think I eat for a lot of different reasons other than hunger. I definitely eat for comfort... if I'm having a bad day or am depressed I ususally find myself at McDonalds or some fast food place. I also eat when I'm bored. The food is like instant gratification... tastes good, makes me temporarily feel good, and calms me down. But really its like a a trying to put a band aid on this big gaping wound though... using food to feed my pain. I don't think I am necessarily addicted to food anymore, but I probably used to be. Several years ago I overate much more than I do now... sometimes I felt like I just couldn't stop eating and would binge. I never had huge binging episodes (like thousands and thousands of calories), but its like I couldn't just put down the cookie! Its actually kind of a scary feeling... like I am totally out of control. My brain is telling me to stop eating but yet I keep on stuffing my face. I have gotten much better at this over the years, learning to eat only when I am hungry and not for all sorts of other reasons. Its too bad we just can't quit eating cold turkey... sometimes I think that would be easier because it would be all or nothing.
I think I've already mentioned my "eating for comfort" due to depression. The "reading and eating at the same time" thing has become a real habit/addiction for me. When I'm reading I want to nibble on something continually, and when I'm eating I wish for a book in my hand.
I read A LOT, so I'm screwed unless I can break this habit. And the thing with depression is... this is one of my few "comfort habits", and I don't WANT to break it! curses.
Today I made myself a small tortilla with chicken breast and avocado. I read while I ate it. But when I'd finished it, I'd only read a couple of pages of my book. So I ate three MORE tortillas!!
Ok I need a valium and ice cream...I have been horrible this week, eating wrong, feeling bloated, depressed casue my best friend is moving away, not walking and I gained back 3 pounds. Life is feeling rather pissy right now.
I have managed to eat at least 3 bad things a day. Great goal eh??? And my period has me wanting to eat everything in sight. I feel gross, fat and miserable....there I said it. I had to send all that negative mess away from me. I need it to stay away, I was doing soooo good and crap hit the fan.
Take One day at a time everyone! That seems to me my slogan for life now. I have been having a rough few days, letting things get to me, need to pull up my socks and not wear my heart on my sleeve.
I really like your signature RubinMuse, Dance like nobodys watching! So true, we should live each day as though it may be our last, but not live it like it is you last. Enjoy the moments, the hugs and kisses from your kids and loved ones, the wet snouts of our pets as they look for affection, do something nice for yourself and another every single day. Even it means reading a book while eating something really good(Ellis). Life is much too short and too sweet, to sweat the small stuff.
I wish you all well, and hope you all do something really great for yourselves. If we don't love ourselves first, than how can we be loved by others. This is a really big thing for me to learn! I am worht it and so are you.
Hugs to all who need them, and to those who don't as well.
Virginia
Rubens, I'm sorry you're having a crappy time. And REALLY sorry about your best friend. But Virginia is right... hang in there, because this is all about YOU, and you're a wonderful person and you can get back on track and DO IT!!
Rubens, sorry your best friend is moving. It does really suck. Mine is leaving for the other side of the country on the 27th. He has left before, but this time it is permenent.
But the girls are right, it does get better. There is always email, and the phone. Plus it is a great excuse for a vacation.
just a question, do we all have some one we can be totally honest with about our eatind issues? I have only recently found someone I can be scary truthful. It is wonderful when we have that, I hope we all have someone!
I believe the alternachicks are the only people I have felt comfortable talking about my weight and eating habits to, especially in the pigs anonymous confession thread
Although, I have to admit that my DH is pretty supportive except for tempting me with the occasional Swarma dinner or a good peice of chocolate
I did finally tell my best friend how much I weighed, after 13 years of friendship she fessed up too
I have a chubby friend whom I talk/joke/despair with about weight issues a lot. I wouldn't go so far as to tell her about my taking bridge mixture out of the garbage, though. I reserve that for my friends HERE.
There are several people I can confide in about my Bulimia, but they are mostly people I met while in Nursing school, but when I talk about my F'd up body image, all I get is you are beautiful- why do you think that way. They don't understand when I look in the mirror I might as well weigh 400 pounds instead of 160. The extra 20-30 pounds I am carrying feels like the weight of the world on my shoulders.
My family, including my husband is really funny about weight and I have a hard time talking to any of them or my friends because they are either really overweight or really thin. DH who I consider my best friend- was a fat kid (only way to describe it) and he feels if he can overcome anyone can, he has lost recently almost 20 pounds with little to no effort. I have to go through major food changes and extensive exercise, one because of my eating disorder but two because of my heart problem and the medication that I am on, kind of a double whamy... My SIL had gastric bipass surgery last year in February- the last attempt to lose her weight she was 5'3 350+ pounds she has lost down to about 190 and is still losing but slower. She has lost weight but hasn't fixed the problem behind her weight, so how long she will be thinner is yet to be seen. She eats better but she still isn't healthy with her eating or her mentality, so where is balance?
Grrr... I am so frustrated this morning already I have had a sibling call me and tell they were not coming to graduation because another one of my siblings is coming. It is all a show to make my grandparents feel bad, it doesn't have anything to do with the problems my brothers and sister are having right now. It is completely amazing to me, how the grown adults can act like 2 and 3 year olds when it comes down to it. Well this one said this and that one said that and it is funny how this person neglected to tell that person this, blah blah blah... I swear my family is going to heck in a hand basket. My oldest brother who is in his mid-40's has some really bad drug issues and this past year he and my youngest brother who is 37 (they had been working together) both lost their jobs because of the older one's drug habits, well some how my oldest brother ended up blaming it on my one brothers Wife and my Sister (who lives in another state)... how she was involved I don't know. Well so my oldest brother started spreading some really ugly rumors about my youngest brothers wife (really ugly stuff that was suppose to of happened like 15 years ago) and he supposedly called (or had someone call) my brother in law's doctor and told him that my BIL was selling his pain pills(was hurt in a construction accident in 1988 and lost a leg and is on disability) and the MD cut off his pain medication cold turkey and this man has been on pain medicine for 14 years. Well my sister isn't talking to my oldest brother because of this, my youngest brother is not talking to him either and actually threatened to have him arrested if he ever came in his yard again and then my middle brother owes my sister and BIL like 10,000$ So there is some tension in the works there. SO my weekend is making out to be a complete cluster... and I am so looking forward to it. I would like to know what my mother and father did to screw my family up so bad... I am the only one who has a half way normal life and I simply had to take my kids and move away to get out of the middle of the soap opera called my family. I was basically raised by my grandparents until I was about 14 so I am guessing that is the only reason that I have a lick of sense.... and I still have bagage hence the OCD, Bulimia and mild Bi-polar (I really think this is a misdiagnosis having dealt with some Bi-polar people) but the OCD and the Bulimia are well diagnosised.
Okay, I pity anyone who actually read through this rant but I really don't have anyone who will listen to me complain about my family, it makes my DH really angry for me to get upset about them and there aren't too many people that I want knowing about my vast skeletons. So I unload hear. Well I will quit whining.
Here is something that goes with the body image topic. It is an editorial written to the local paper by a friend, after a story ran about adolescence...
I read with interest the News article, "Surviving the storms of a girl's adolescence." I do think the article had some very good tips for parents, but a certain section hit a raw nerve.
The author of one book stated, "Don't dismiss her desire to look good. Adolescence is a beauty pageant." I know that only too well. Six weeks ago, my 22-year-old daughter died from complications of anorexia nervosa. Her desire to look stick-thin turned into a mental illness that eventually took her life.
I found it interesting that so much was mentioned about abusive relationships, but not one word about excessive dieting and eating disorders. If adolescence is a beauty pageant, then these girls will try to look their best - at any cost.
Our society puts too great an emphasis on a woman's body. The guys don't go for the "fat chick." They never bother to see the inner beauty, it's just the surface that matters, and many young women get caught up in the idea that in order to be popular, you have to look like the models and actresses they emulate.
Also, most parents do not know the signs and symptoms of potential eating disorders, and by the time the pieces fit, the child is already deep into the disease. Many girls hide their disease; the manipulation is remarkable. And only a few will seek treatment. Our society has got to teach these young girls the importance of a healthy self-image and the dangers of eating disorders.
Virginia! It took a lot of courage to face yourself and take the steps to gain control of your situation. I will be sending good healing vibes your way for you to help you on your way 
Addictions...
I also eat when I'm bored. The food is like instant gratification... tastes good, makes me temporarily feel good, and calms me down. But really its like a a trying to put a band aid on this big gaping wound though... using food to feed my pain. I don't think I am necessarily addicted to food anymore, but I probably used to be. Several years ago I overate much more than I do now... sometimes I felt like I just couldn't stop eating and would binge. I never had huge binging episodes (like thousands and thousands of calories), but its like I couldn't just put down the 
cookie! Its actually kind of a scary feeling... like I am totally out of control. My brain is telling me to stop eating but yet I keep on stuffing my face. I have gotten much better at this over the years, learning to eat only when I am hungry and not for all sorts of other reasons. Its too bad we just can't quit eating cold turkey... sometimes I think that would be easier because it would be all or nothing.
she fessed up too 
I wouldn't go so far as to tell her about my taking bridge mixture out of the garbage, though. 
I reserve that for my friends HERE. 
