Glad everyone could get a laugh out of my daughter's little mouth! You really NEVER know what is going to come out of it...she gets that from her father...
Aphil

This One WIll Probably Offend Someone but I love it!
 

Three old ladies were sitting on a bench outside a seniors' residence. Along came a flasher who opened his trench coat in front of the women.

One old woman had a stroke.

The second old woman had a stroke.

The third did not have a stroke.

She couldn't reach!

~~~~~~~~~~~~ running out of the forum ~~~~~~~

Sometimes I slay myself!

ROTFLMAO...:lol:
Aphil

Had to get DH to explain that one to me, Ruth. You know I'm a little dim. :lol:

I missed that earlier. I love it Ruth!! :lol:

HAHAHAHAHA!!!!! That is a GREAT joke Ruth!!!!!

HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT WOMEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:
(new 2003 version)

1. She is not a BABE or a CHICK - She is a BREASTED AMERICAN.
2. She is not a SCREAMER or MOANER - She is VOCALLY APPRECIATIVE.

3. She is not EASY - She is HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE.

4. She is not DUMB - She is a DETOUR OFF THE INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY.

5. She has not BEEN AROUND - She is a PREVIOUSLY ENJOYED COMPANION.

6. She is not an AIRHEAD - She is REALITY IMPAIRED.

7. She does not get DRUNK or TIPSY - She gets CHEMICALLY INCONVENIENCED.

8. She does not have BREAST IMPLANTS - She is MEDICALLY ENHANCED.

9. She does not NAG YOU - She becomes VERBALLY REPETITIVE.

10.She is not a SLUT - She is SEXUALLY EXTROVERTED.

11.She does not have MAJOR LEAGUE HOOTERS - She is PECTORALLY SUPERIOR.

12.She is not a TWO-BIT WHORE - She is a LOW COST PROVIDER.


=====================================

HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT MEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:

1. He does not have a BEER GUT - He has developed a LIQUID GRAIN STORAGE FACILITY.

2. He is not a BAD DANCER - He is OVERLY CAUCASIAN.

3. He does not GET LOST ALL THE TIME - He INVESTIGATES ALTERNATIVE DESTINATIONS.

4. He is not BALDING - He is in FOLLICLE REGRESSION.

5. He is not a CRADLE ROBBER - He prefers GENERATIONALLY DIFFERENTIAL RELATIONSHIPS

6. He does not get FALLING-DOWN DRUNK-He becomes ACCIDENTALLY HORIZONTAL.

7. He does not act like a TOTAL *** - He develops a case of RECTAL-CRANIAL INVERSION.

8. He is not a MALE CHAUVINIST PIG - He has SWINE EMPATHY.

9. He is not afraid of COMMITMENT - He is MONOGAMOUSLY CHALLENGED

10. He is not HORNY - he is SEXUALLY FOCUSED.

:lol: Good ones!

Facts of Life**
1. At least 2 people in this world, love you so much they would die for you.
2. At least 15 people in this world love you, in some way.
3. The only reason anyone would ever hate you, is because they want to be just like you.
4. A smile from you, can bring happiness to anyone, even if they don't like you.
5. Every night, SOMEONE thinks about you before they go to sleep.
6.You mean the world to someone.
7. Without you, someone may not be living.
8. You are special and unique, in your own way.
9. Someone that you don't know even exists, loves you.
10. When you make the biggest mistake ever, something good comes from it.
11. When you think the world has turned it's back on you, take a
look, you most likely turned your back on the world.
12. When you think you have no chance at getting what you want, you probably won't get it, but if you believe in yourself, you probably sooner or later will get it.
13. Always remember complements you received, forget about the rude remarks.
14. Always tell someone how you feel, then they'll they know.
15. If you have a great friend, take the time to let them know that they're great.

Thank you ....Rubensmuse...I am going to tell all the cool
ladies that I work with tomorrow how much that I appreciate
them and I appreciate you for reminding me what
is important! Lovies....Ya Ya

:lol: Crap. I just forwarded that to a few people here, Den! :lol: