I feel so defeated. I went to the ear, nose, and throat doctor today, as I've been without a voice for 5 weeks now. He told me that my vocal cords are paralyzed. I have to start voice therapy & they need to do an MRI of my brain to rule out something more severe.
I just feel like I can't catch a break these days.
I am sluggishly getting back at it - trying to summon up the drive again! Funny because I have more reasons than ever to keep going. Stayed on plan today and got my swim in. Think we are making an offer on a house this week. Exciting times.
Fi Thanks It really has helped a lot. My friend ended up having to cancel coming down this weekend because her nephews are coming for a visit and her mom needs help with them, so she's going to come next weekend...Which really is better for me anyway so I'm pretty excited for next weekend too The kitties look so adorable. I'm glad to hear that they are adjusting very well.
Sugar Welcome back love. I do hope you'll stay awhile. We all miss you here. I hope things move forward without the ex...you don't need that negativity in your life, it'll only bring you down. Sending you big hugs and the extra push you need to move on. I'm here if you ever need someone to talk to
Ubee & Betsy You both have been my biggest cheerleaders from the start. Thank you both for being so warm and loving....it's just what I need. You guys are like the aunts that I never got to have. Things will get easier with time, I just need to try and put my health and weight loss back to my main focus and try to push forward. This hasn't been easy, but I definitely don't want all my hard work to go down the toilet either.
Millie I never gave you a proper welcome. So welcome to the thread. I hope you'll stay awhile and gain so much love and knowledge here as I have. I know what you mean about the fast paced walking vs jogging...I've never been one to like running and even if I lose all the weight I want I don't see myself ever being a runner, but who knows. Good luck on your marathon coming up
Kayley Nice to see you back at the thread. Sorry to hear about your voice. I sure hope everything works out for you and it isn't something even more severe. Keep your chin up babe, either way you'll get through this and we'll all be here to help support you in any way we can
Jane So glad to see you back here again...Sorry I didn't do a personal when you first got back...I'm slowly getting back to posting like my normal self on here...Still hard though. The new house sounds exciting...I hope it works out for you...Keep pushing with the weight loss I know you have the will power and the drive...You can succeed at anything! Keep posting in here...you know how helpful it is
So my friend kinda bailed on me for the gym today...She kept putting it off and putting it off and telling me it would be later and later...So I said screw it and just did some exercise here at the house. I did one of the Turbo Jam videos as a warm up then did 100 crunches, 50 side crunches, 40 dead lifts, and 20 weighted side lifts. I think after I post I'm going to try to do a few planks and then call it a night. As I told Fi, my friend in Wilmington is going to have to come next weekend because her nephews are visiting and her mom needs help with them. It really worked out for me anyway. DH wanted to have a nice weekend with me since last weekend was not the greatest with my friend's passing. We're going to hopefully move our bedroom around after we organize and throw out the crap we don't need. Hoping to tackle my closet too. I also want to try and steam clean my carpets. Ever since we moved in here the carpet has been crap and we were trying to keep it clean for awhile, but in all honesty I probably haven't steam cleaned the carpets in 2 years. They look terrible and really should have been replaced before we moved in here. DH is also going to have to do some work under the kitchen sink. We are going to have to replace the board under there with some real wood instead of cardboard that came with the cabinets and try and fix the garbage disposal. The maintainence people here suck and never fix anything so we're going to try and fix it ourselves before we result to calling them. Our dishwasher hasn't worked in almost a year and when they came to try and fix that all they did was clean the trap...When we told them that wasn't the problem in the first place. Then they came up here last week because our neighbor below us has water leaking from the ceiling and wall so what does the guy do? Check the air unit in here only!!! He didn't even bother to check our dishwasher or under the sink, which we later found the cause what we think is the garbage disposal is leaking water. We have no idea for how long but that cardboard that is supposed to be a shelf has gotten so wet that DH had to pull it all out. The builders we found cut even more corners and didn't put any wood down before the put the cabinets in and there's DRYWALL under the cabinetry!!! If this place weren't so cheap we would have already moved....I'm just trying to hold out until we can save up to get some land....I'm so ready to be out in the country and self sufficient.
Anyway, Didn't mean to ramble...Tomorrow is my boss's son's 16th bday party...It's glow in the dark/neon themed pool party. I'm going to go for a little bit but hope to bust out a gym session with my friend before the party.
Hope everyone had a wonderful, on plan, peaceful day. You all deserve the very best out of life and I hope you succeed with all of your life's desires....
Ubee ~ Yes $68 dollars is pricey for a bus pass but it usually lasts all month
Betsy ~ Yeah they offer on the low side for your dvd's and cd's.
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I woke up at 8:00 AM this morning. So far today I've let Clyde outside and I've taken my pills, I have also cleaned my tube and mask and thats all I've done today. Im gonna do laundry today and do my 5 mile walk tonight and thats all my plans for today.
Good Morning!
I know I made a goal to post everyday but I may have to give myself a little wiggle room as I finish up this summer. Terra a 5 mile walk is a lot for one day. I wonder if I will ever be able to do 5 miles in one day. Sam so proud of you for not waiting for your friend to go to the gym and just exercising on your own. Thanks for the last line in your post. "You all deserve the very best out of life and I hope you succeed with all of your life's desires...." It was just so nice to hear today. Jane a new house!!! Hope you get it. Mind sharing your more reasons then ever to lose comment? If not I'll live. Kayle so sorry about the Dr. news. Stay strong and stay on plan. Millie that is a lot of exercise. Good for you! Yes, I give that nasty scale too much power. I will not weigh in until Mon. but I so want to jump on it today. I will resist, it is just a few more days. Fi I do wish you had taken before and after pictures of your BERP. How did Grace and the kitties do? Are the kitties helping Bob with his depression? Betsy an hour of housework each day! Have you gone mad??? I think 20 minutes sounds like a better plan. Of course I have company coming and haven't lifted a finger... So how is the diet/WOE going? Sticking to your daily plan?
So today I am thinking this will all be easier in the fall. Just like I think it will always get easier with the next season. Hmmm maybe it won't get easier and I will just have to suck it up and deal with today. Sounds like a plan.
Have a peaceful day.
Good morning. I meant to post yesterday, but got stuck changing all my passwords again -- at least for the sites where there is access to money, bank accounts, or credit cards -- due to the Russian hackers who have stolen 1.2 BILLION passwords worldwide. The don't know what sites will be impacted yet, but I just went ahead and changed my passwords again. Just passing this on in case any of you hadn't heard it on the news and are like me and do everything online. It takes a lot of time to go in and change all the passwords. Waste of time!
Sam I know that you're still going through so much with the grieving process, but your posts are beginning to sound more like your usual chipper self. I can certainly understand why you want to get out of your place -- what a disaster or one waiting to happen. Glad that Ubee and I can be your cheerleaders (along with everyone else). Not sure we're ready for those short little skirts, but the spirit is there!
Millie You're running in a marathon? OMG, I am so impressed! You talked about doing the jog/walk thing. I know the lady who owns the gym I go to (and who is a licensed trainer) has said that when doing cardio that mixing it up is much more effective than doing a constant pace. Of course, I guess one has to actually have some pace of any kind first (that would be a reference to my current lack of activity!).
Kayley I'm so sorry you're going through this. Just googled vocal cord paralysis and like so many things, the cause may remain unknown. Hope the tests go well for you.
Jane You can do this. If nothing else, just think of how much exercise you'll get with moving into a house!
Terra Enjoy your walks -- sounds like you've got your days ordered!
Fi Hi! How are the kitties doing? How was Grace's visit?
Ubee You'll be happy to know that while I've scheduled an hour of housework each day, nothing has actually been done other than the normal stuff (move the dishes from the sink to the dishwasher). I'm currently revisiting the budget to see what I can cut out so I can just hire a cleaning person. I've managed to stay on plan for 2 days.....maybe the turn around has started!
Do any of you talk to yourself when it comes to deciding about eating something you know you shouldn't? I've really had some serious backsliding of late, and after having a bad a fib episode on Wednesday, I decided that I could either get serious again or probably die years earlier than necessary. What shocked/appalled/irritated/aggravated me last night was that I wanted popcorn. Now I had already had my food for the day, I wasn't hungry, etc. It was just the switch in my brain demanding more carbs plus who doesn't love popcorn. I had to spend an hour talking myself out of making some -- and yes, Fi, I did the breathing exercises. I've just got to accept that I'm every bit as much an addict as someone who does drugs or alcohol except my addiction is to carbs. One day at a time! Off to take my BIL to the airport. Hope everyone has a great day!
HAHA let me be clear that I am doing my 3rd quarter marathon. Half of a half, its 6.55 miles, if I did an actual marathon (26.2 miles ) someone would need to carry me about 19 miles on their back lol. I am also not sure if you call what I am doing "running a marathon" I like to tell people I am participating since you can't call want I do running. It usually gets a laugh.
Yes I have been told and read that interval training is very good for you because your heart rate goes up and down. I just take so much for me to run/jog that when I do the walk phase i walk very slow. Maybe once I lose more weight and I have less weight on my knees it will be better.
Sam - I have a friend like that. Love her to death, but could never count on her to come through as a gym buddy, even when she said she wanted to work out, etc.
Your current living situation sounds pretty frustrating. Do you & DH have a timeline to hopefully purchase some land?
Terra - I hope you had a good day!
Betsy - I haven't gotten to the point of talking myself out of eating something....I'm actually worse, and just eat without thinking about it/not caring about it until later that day, and then the guilt kicks in. Those that say losing weight is "easy...just stop eating so much" obviously doesn't realize it's an addiction. So frustrating. Did you end up having the popcorn?
Millie - That is FANTASTIC! The most I've done is a 5k. Did the Color Run last year...however, I walked it, being over 400 at that time. I finished dead last. Seriously, I was the very last person to cross the finish line...but I finished! I hope you kick those 6 miles' butt!
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WARNING: LONG POST AHEAD....
So, I had my pre-op clearance testing today
Holy moly! I knew there was going to be a few tests, however it ended up being five HOURS of testing! And I am SO glad that portion of this journey is over with. After my testing, I met with the doctor that would clear me to schedule a surgery date. I got good news, and bad news.
The bad news? I'm not cleared. I still have the pneumonia that I've been fighting for 4 months now. Since I'm able to walk without being out of breath finally, I thought that perhaps it was gone. Unfortunately not. It's getting better, but they are still not happy with how much is left in my lungs. I was told that my doctors made a mistake by not having me admitted to the hospital to treat it via IV, and that if they would have done so, I would have healed up months ago. I have to get another chest xray in one month, and see if there is improvement.
I was officially diagnosed with high blood pressure (not really a surprise there). However, it's not to the point of needing medication for it, so that's a good thing. Just need to watch my salt intake for now. I also have very high cholesterol. Again, need to watch my cholesterol, and try to get those numbers down. Those things will not prevent me having the surgery, though.
Lastly, I was told that I'm anemic. My levels are very low. My Vitamin D levels are scary low....like, the lowest that clinic/hospital has seen. It's supposed to be at a 60, and my level? A 6. I have to go on prescription strength Iron pills & Vitamin D to get my levels up before they will clear me for surgery.
The good news? Once I can get these things done, I'll be cleared for surgery, and the doctor said I'm an excellent patient, due to the low risk factors...no diabetes, no heart problems, etc.
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While I know the surgery is on hold so that I can be the healthiest I can be, and have the most positive experience without major issues, it was a blow, and I had a little bit of a cry-fest in the doctor's office. I felt like WLS was sitting there on a platter, and then just taken away from me. Which is absolutely SILLY, because it'll happen, just not as soon as I had hoped.
Good morning everyone. It's a gorgeous day here and I'd better enjoy it. Temps in the mid 90s are expected for Monday. Yes, I know a lot of you have that every day all summer, but I bet you have AC every place you go. We don't. So, I will probably be filling the kiddie pool and making sure that the dog stays as cool as possible.
Millie Once I read your post again it dawned on me that you're doing your third marathon which is a quarter of one. Yes, it's exactly what you said, but for some reason my mind thought of us being in the 3rd quarter of the year and you were running a marathon each quarter. Regardless, I'm still in awe that you're doing this and if anyone laughs, tell them to get off their rear ends and join you. Personally, if I did a run/walk combo, it wouldn't take me long because having collapsed after the run part would eliminate the need to follow up with that pesky walking no matter what speed. And I imagine that it will hurt a lot less with each pound off. I know it makes a huge difference for me when I get into yo-yo mode with trying to lose weight and can always tell when I've put on more than about 5 pounds.
Kayley Bummer. I would have had a few tears as well. Hunting for that silver lining? You've got a doctor who wants to make sure that this surgery goes perfectly for you which means that he wants to get these issues cleared up. Like he said, overall you're a great candidate. Think of all the people who want the surgery who have so many issues from years of obesity that they're not even candidates. And think how much your energy levels will go up when the anemia goes away (not to mention finally get rid of the pneumonia). I've been reading up on focal cord paralysis, and pneumonia is one of the infections that can cause that. Hopefully you'll get a two-for-one fix out of this! Hang in there. You're doing all the right things. You're taking care of you. And we've got your back when you're having a bad day! P.S. No, I didn't have the popcorn although I sure wanted it!
Terra Glad you had a good day. More walks planned for today?
OK, where is everyone else? Jane, SilentArctic, Ubee (other than on my index finger!), Fi, Sugar (I know I've forgotten someone, but please don't be insulted......I also forget the names of people with whom I interact every day!).
This shouldn't be such earth shattering news, but I've made it through 3 days of staying on plan. Hopefully this rededication will stick and I'll be able to get the weight regain off in addition to getting back on track to lose more. Ubee is doing a one week challenge. I've suggested doing a one week challenge for the next six months. Don't know why one week at a time seems more doable than six months, but I've given up trying to understand how my mind works (or doesn't work!) when it comes to controlling my eating. Guess I'd better get it in gear. Hope everyone has a great weekend.
Hi Everyone! Betsy I am with you. One would think 3 days in a row being on plan would be no big deal but for some of us it is a near miracle. Do you go in the kiddie pool also? 90 degrees is too hot for me. Thankfuly we have only hit 90 once this year! Does picturing me on your middle finger help? I don't talk to myself as much as I hear all of you talking to me when I am working through a no no food moment. Terra what are you up to today? Kayley I would be bawling. Like Betsy said there is a good side to this. I thought thank goodness they are so picky because it would really suck to be sick after the surgery and not enjoy watching all that weight fall off. Surgery day will be here soon. Millie proud of you for being in a marathon whether it is 100 feet or 100 miles! You are lapping those of us just sitting on the couch.
Life is busy doing end of summer stuff and chasing my tail...
Have a peaceful day!
Location: from Houston, TX—now in Maryland (Washington DC area)
Posts: 1,167
S/C/G: 351/267/140
Height: 5'3"
Sorry I didn't post yesterday. I granted myself a complete and utter day of rest, most of it with the kitties sleeping curled up against me. I really needed it after the long stretch of crazy days I'd just been through: frantic BERP activity before we left for New Jersey, the trip itself, the positive but challenging hours in our bedroom with the little ones, the super-frantic BERP activity downstairs to get ready for letting the kitties out of the bedroom, and the Big Day itself, when Grace came over and Oscar & Nénu explored their new territory.
We had a grand old time on the Big Day (Thursday). Grace and Bob and I were all three in an elated party mood: that's the effect that those two little balls of orange fur had on us. Grace, who wants to be a vet some day, is very eager to learn about cats, because her family just has a dog. Her eyes were wide open, and she was completely enraptured by everything the kittens did. Bob, whose mood has been markedly improved by the advent of our new fur-kids, was in fine form, regaling Grace with all kinds of funny stories about biology—everything from giant sloths to extinct whales to his own research. (I haven't heard him talk about his science since he lost his job at NASA!) I was so mellowed out, I wasn't in the least bit in teacher/mentor mode with Grace—which was wonderful, since she got to see another side of me.
And a big part of how all three (five) of us felt was the house itself. Grace first started coming over here about 1/3 of the way into the BERP, so she definitely saw the place when there were books and papers all over the living room, including piled high on one of the futons, and when the dining room was so full of crap you couldn't walk into it, and she got plenty of glimpses of how chaotic things were elsewhere in the house. Something about all the gleaming wood floors, the colorful rugs, the fact that the kittens could explore underneath things without getting all covered in dust... it made us all high! I was in such a blissed-out state I decided it counted as a Very Special Occasion, and allowed myself a small piece of cheesecake after my Greek salad for dinner. That's the first time I've had sugar since my birthday in February!
And then a day of rest. Today is another day of rest, for the most part, but I did spend about two hours going through one of the last remaining "mystery" boxes: 99% of its contents went straight into the recycling bin. I'm afraid I'm still too weary for personals, but I'm wishing all of you a nice summer weekend.
Betsy - We do that for our pug, and he LOVES it. Hubby & I often hop in the kiddie pool with him.
Ubee - The doctor that I spoke with flat out said "your surgeon is a very anal retentive type A personality". Good quality for a surgeon to have, I say! I just have to keep thinking...this is a delay, not a cancellation. My health WILL improve, and I will have surgery.
Fiona - Good to "see" you! Have the kitties fully adjusted to their new surroundings?
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Down a little over 2 lbs this week. After last week's massive 15 lb loss, I'm not surprised this is a smaller week. I'll take it, though! Next week, I will hopefully be back in the 380's!
Started taking over the counter Iron & Vitamin D until I can get the prescription strength stuff from my doctor.
The more reading I do on anemia, the more I see the symptoms that I've had for the past year, and not knowing what was the cause! Hopefully, my Iron can get higher asap, although the fact that I've had my period for almost 6 months non-stop probably isn't helping....sorry for the TMI!
The day that I got some sort of voice back, it was a struggle to talk, to the point of giving me shortness of breath every time I talked. Over the last couple of days, I've been able to speak without the shortness of breath, and my voice is slightly stronger than it was. Hoping that means I'm healing!!
Last edited by kayleystar; 08-10-2014 at 11:38 AM.
Good morning. I'm working myself up to at least getting the dusting done and the bathrooms cleaned......and we all know how much I "love" doing housework.
Ubee Had to switch you over to my index finger, Ubee. In addition to people thinking I was giving them the bird while at the grocery store, some people seemed to think that talking to a finger was a little odd. So, you have been moved. I highly recommend holding up a finger and talking to it if the store is crowded -- pretty much clears out the aisle around you when you do this. Right up until the manager approaches to ask if something is the matter. Working on a week long string of days -- feel good about getting beyond stringing together 2 minutes of staying on plan!
Fi Wow! What a wonderful day you guys had. Such joy in your post and for so many reasons. I'm so happy for you and Bob (and Grace and the kitties) as it seems like you've turned such a major corner in your lives and so many positive things are happening for you.
Kayley I definitely want an anal retentive Type A doing my surgery! And congrats on the 2 pounds. Any week you lose is a good week whether it's half a pound or a whole lot. Glad that you're taking all the right steps with getting things "fixed" and that there are signs of your voice coming back.
I've lost a little over 8 pounds since Wednesday and need that positive reinforcement to keep me on the straight and narrow until I can get myself back in the habit of eating right. Still mad at myself for letting it get to this point, but glad that I'm taking the steps to stop the backslide. Like I said at the top, I'm going to dust the house and hopefully get the bathrooms cleaned up. Then I've got to drive up to Seattle to pick up my BIL from his weekend trip to CA for a family event. Hope everyone has a great rest of the weekend.
It really has helped a lot. My friend ended up having to cancel coming down this weekend because her nephews are coming for a visit and her mom needs help with them, so she's going to come next weekend...Which really is better for me anyway so I'm pretty excited for next weekend too 
) someone would need to carry me about 19 miles on their back lol. I am also not sure if you call what I am doing "running a marathon" I like to tell people I am participating since you can't call want I do running. It usually gets a laugh.
Once I read your post again it dawned on me that you're doing your third marathon which is a quarter of one. Yes, it's exactly what you said, but for some reason my mind thought of us being in the 3rd quarter of the year and you were running a marathon each quarter. Regardless, I'm still in awe that you're doing this and if anyone laughs, tell them to get off their rear ends and join you. Personally, if I did a run/walk combo, it wouldn't take me long because having collapsed after the run part would eliminate the need to follow up with that pesky walking no matter what speed. And I imagine that it will hurt a lot less with each pound off. I know it makes a huge difference for me when I get into yo-yo mode with trying to lose weight and can always tell when I've put on more than about 5 pounds.
