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Old 05-07-2013, 08:13 AM   #1  
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Default Re-introduction, and rock-bottom...

Hi, everyone!

I see a few familiar faces (or avatars) and quite a lot of new ones in all the recent posts, so I figure I'd best reintroduce myself, since I've been away for about a year.

I'm Telorida, I'm 30 years old, recently married, and desperately trying to lose weight. I've been in the 300 lb club for several years, and have been trying off-and-on with varied success to try to lose weight. Last time I was here, I faded away from the forum last April because I moved on to a forum that was just based on Atkins (the diet I shifted to), and I hung on to my dieting ways kind of loosely until about August, until the stress of buying a house, moving, planning a wedding, and changing jobs all got me overwhelmed. Of course, once I fell off, I did not manage to get things together until well after the holidays.

This February, my husband and I restarted low-carb together, but we put in a half-a$$ed effort, cheating regularly on the weekends when we were in social eating situations. So I went from 319-310 but kind of stuck there until April. Now, I’m back again, with the intent of redoubling my efforts and getting really serious about dropping the weight.

So what makes this time different? Well, in April my husband and I went on our belated honeymoon. We went to a lovely place in Jamaica, right on the rocky cliffs of the seaside. You could jump in to the water from low (or high) cliffs and then climb back out via a ladder. It was great!

Until I went to climb back out.

I did not have the upper-body and core strength to hoist myself up the ladder rungs. To be fair, I later heard someone fit complaining that the ladder was difficult. But my shape made the climb more difficult than it otherwise might have been, as well. (I mean that my stomach pushed me farther out from the ladder than another person, so I could not put my center of gravity over my legs.) In the end, my husband and another man had to each take one of my hands and PULL while my feet scrambled for the next rung up, then let me rest before doing it again. I was mortified… just completely mortified.

Every time I read the story of someone’s weight loss success that has been consistent and maintained, they had a rock-bottom story… some kind of wake-up experience. Well, that was mine. Until now, I’ve been able to fool myself into thinking that, yeah, I wanted to lose weight, but I could still get out and do things if I wanted to. Being faced with the truth really hurt.

But it’s all uphill from here, right?
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Old 05-07-2013, 08:56 AM   #2  
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It IS all uphill from here! That's the good thing about hitting rock bottom ( not that it's good, but you know what I mean ) , is that it can only get better from then on! I can't imagine how that moment must have felt and I'm so sorry that it had to happen to you. But what a great situation to use as fuel for motivation and to stay on track!
PS- I just got back from Jamaica too and it was beautiful!
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Old 05-07-2013, 09:29 AM   #3  
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It's hard to have something like that happen, but you can use it to change your life! You will do it!
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Old 05-07-2013, 09:32 AM   #4  
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I'm sorry for your struggle. But your turning it into real motivation! Good for you. And the place sounds so lovely. Wouldn't it be wonderful for you and your husband to go back together in a few years and you too be at goal and pop up that ladder like its a kiddie pool? You can do this and thanks for sharing your story. Hearing other's motivations is helpful for my motivation too .
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Old 05-07-2013, 09:57 AM   #5  
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Hi Telorida,

Like others have said, so sorry that you had to go through that experience on holiday. But what great motivation for you to use on your journey. You most certainly can do this and i am sure that you will. It is uphill all the way from now on and just think of that each time that you need a boost. Good luck on your journey hon, hugs Sam xxx
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Old 05-07-2013, 10:02 AM   #6  
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Hi Telorida! Yeah...unfortunately I had my rock bottom moment too. Fortunately I used that moment to motivate myself out of my predicament. Good luck!
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Old 05-07-2013, 10:25 AM   #7  
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Thanks for the commiseration and positive encouragement, everyone. I’m so sorry to hear that many of you have had your own rock bottom experiences, but as long as we really use that feeling as fuel to motivate us toward our goals, in the end we’ll be better off for it.

CohesiveGen, yes, Jamaica was beautiful, and I amazingly kept this experience from ruining the rest of the trip. Where did you stay? We were in Negril, at The Caves. It was lovely and we look forward to going back someday.

wannaB: Yes, I definitely want to “return to the scene”, perhaps on our 5th anniversary, and conquer what was previously my downfall.
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Old 05-07-2013, 02:29 PM   #8  
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Guess what chick? You're here and that's the best thing to do. I expect great things for you and I will continue to cheerlead you the whole time.
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Old 05-09-2013, 09:47 AM   #9  
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That scenario is pretty much my worst nightmare. A huge part of wanting to lose weight is being fit enough to feel comfortable putting myself in those potential situations in the first place. Now I just avoid them.

Yes - it is definitely uphill from here.
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Old 05-15-2013, 08:39 PM   #10  
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Tel,
I can totally relate to your situation! I had something similar happen to me a few summers ago. I went to my Aunt's house for a pool party and actually made a rare appearance in the pool. While I was getting out of the pool the steps on her plastic ladder completely collapsed on me, cutting my leg up as it hit each step. I was mortified. Not only was this painful and extremely humiliating, but it was glaring that spotlight on my weight, which I normally try to ignore. Apparently, that wasn't my rock bottom though, because I still wasn't ready to commit to the lifestyle change. Today, I'm in a different stage of my life and I'm facing some medical limitations. It's now or never, so I'm determined to push forward and fight for myself...kicking and screaming. I'm just starting back on 3FC today for the first time in over a year and I'm looking for Health Buddies if you would like some mutual support!
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Old 05-15-2013, 10:14 PM   #11  
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Jess, I think the fact that your Rock Bottom and mine were very different (even though we shared a similar experience at one point in our lives), really points to how personal the whole concept of motivation can be.

I guess the bottom line is, the motivation you find outside you will eventually fall short of your needs... so, if you can't find motivation in yourself, you've got trouble!
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Old 05-16-2013, 07:19 AM   #12  
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Howdy Telorida,

I am brand-spankin new here. I just joined yesterday, I posted an introduction that is quite lack-luster as I am at a complete loss of what to say without some thought provoking question or something to read and ponder for response.

My "rock-bottom" story was extremely hard and difficult to face; it wasn't public. It was private, a one-on-one with someone I had fallen in-love with.

In my posts, you'll probably hear reference to the guy I'm living with now. We met online. I was too ashamed and embarrassed to show him what I looked like and despite my warnings that he wouldn't like how I looked - he fell in-love with me; not even knowing what I looked like. I eventually worked up the courage to tell him what I looked like, down to telling him how much I weigh. I have absolutely no good self-image and telling him destroyed me a little on the inside.

We'd talked about it at length on several occasions.. but having to admit to him that I became this way because I gave up on me.. <- that was my rock bottom. Admitting that was when I realized just what I'd done. I could toss out reasonable explanations.. but it *really* came down to it that I gave up on me. I let everyone tell me what I couldn't do and started believing it.

From there, I've been pulling myself up the proverbial ladder.

I wish you the best of luck getting everything back on track. If there's anything I can do, I'd be happy to help.

Jessie
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Old 05-16-2013, 09:26 AM   #13  
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Welcome back Telorida!

Thank you for sharing your story. I am using it to motivate myself in the dreams of being able to travel again someday. Do you keep a picture of Jamaica on your fridge? I may put a picture of a mountain on mine!
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Old 05-16-2013, 11:25 AM   #14  
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Thank you for posting this. I actually avoid situations like the one you were in because of my weight. There are many things I want to do, especially now that I'm living in the outdoor mecca of fun known as East Tennessee. Currently I have kayaking, white water rafting, hiking and caving on my list, but I am terrified to do those things because of my weight. What if I can't get in the boat? What if I tip the boat? What if I'm on a caving tour and I can't keep up with the group or find myself in a narrow path of the tour that I can't get through? At this moment it's literally preventing me from living the active life I desire. Unlike you I'm not brave enough to try it at all. It's really refreshing seeing someone in the 300 lb club going out there and doing things. I'm grateful to have an example to look up to, so I can deal with my own demons.

Furthermore you doubling your efforts has motivated me to get my workout in today. I've been dragging my feet all morning. I don't want to do it! but I know I must so I can jump off the cliff like you.

Nice to meet you and I'm looking forward to seeing your posts on the board.
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Old 05-16-2013, 11:41 AM   #15  
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The best thing about hitting rock-bottom is you have no place to go but UP! You are younger than me but we have similar motivations. I got to my heaviest at 248 recently and became a virtual invalid! I can't get out of the bath tub, cant get up off the floor, can't walk without pain and shortness of breath. I'm 54, that is too young to have these issues! It's the obesity. It's time to face it! Most of us eat our feelings, that's why we are here. Look at the success stories, many people started where you are and have achieved amazing success! I have always been able to lose weight, but have a hard time keeping it off. Go ahead and plan another trip for next year for your anniversary and work towards turning the shame you felt into PRIDE AND VICTORY!!!
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