I'm posting this here because I'm pretty sure that being 300+ you all know what I'm feeling.
I know that others have their own problems that to them are just important as my problems to me are. But I find myself ignoring posts from anyone under 200lbs. I just cant seem to read those. If I read them from someone about 140lbs it gets me thinking this is my GOAL weight. It makes me feel really bad.
Anyway this is not the point of this post I just wanted to get that off my chest and see who feels the same way.
The point of this thread is.. Do any of you 300+ people ever feel like you dont belong? I feel like this on a daily basis. Like I shouldn't go places. I was at a concert the other day and I felt like I shouldn't be there. Like everyone was looking at me because of my weight.
I got to meet my idol (again.) but I felt like I was out of place. It seemed like she talked more to people who were 'skinny' then she did to me. and I know this is NOT true. I dont know why I feel like this she is a amazing person and would NEVER do that.
Anyway I'm just having a pity party for myself (I don't know why, I'm still loosing weight so I should be happy.) But I'm not.
Thanks for listening to my ramblings.. I figured this was a place to get support and I need it right now.
I do feel like that sometimes! I feel invisible/like people look right through me/like everyone is judging me and wondering how it's possible I "let myself" get so fat. **sigh**
But you know what? Being fat is not morally wrong, no matter how many people try to position it to be. Being vulnerable to bad food choices / having difficulty prioritizing exercising sometimes / having a super slow metabolism - none of these things make me a bad person, or one who is not deserving of respect/appreciation/love/attention.
Congrats on your weight loss. Congrats on your continued commitment to losing weight. And, please - worry about only what you can control. You can't lose the weight by tomorrow, and you can't possibly put off living until you've lost the weight. So, celebrate who you are as you celebrate who you are becoming. And know that we know how you feel, because I sometimes feel that way as well.
Don't be depressed. I have felt that way and so have others. I think there was a post maybe a month or two ago that discussed the same thing - about being difficult to read the posts from people who call themselves huge at 170.
I never hit 300, but I was pretty darn close. I've don't let that stop me from going anywhere or doing anything! This is my life and I'm not going to miss out on anything regardless of what size I am. Don't like me in a swimsuit? Too bad, don't look at me then. Feel like you need to tell me how fat I am, go right freaking ahead.
I wasn't always like that and everything used to bother me and someone saying something would hurt beyond belief. I can't tell you exactly how to find that power - to be happy enough with yourself to be willing to do things. I wish I could. Just know that you CAN do it, keep telling yourself that you can, and don't let life pass you by!
i understand where your coming from i feel like that everyday. i've only recently been trying to change my mindset to be more positive...but it's so hard when the world is constantly judging me for being fat. E.g. Tomorrow a friend wants to treat me to a movie, i said yes i'll go when deep down i know i don't because i am barely able to fit into any kind of seat with arm rests. Last time i went to a movie theatre i left with my thighs in pain from where the armrests dented them. But i'm too embarrassed to say this so will suffer the consequences
At 331 lbs, I definitely felt out of place like I didn't belong. But you know what? Ni have lost 100 pounds and I still feel that way.
I feel invisible. I was out to dinner with a skinny friend, and it felt like the waiter paid attention to her the whole night and totally ignored me. He asked if she wanted drink refills, or extra chips, or a doggie bag. I wasnt even asked if my dinner was ok.
I'm sure it's partially my imagination, and my long-time feeling of inferiority that will probably never go away.
1) I don't spend much time on lower weight loss people. If I have time, I am happy to share support, but if I am low on time, I hit the ones closest to me. It's not a slam on them -- just time management of my Internet time, YKWIM?
Only on my end it's that I check the patient side first. PCOS me... so that I'm crusing in 300+ tells ya I had more time today.
2) I belong. I am human, I am alive, I am on this planet. I can take up space the space I take up.
3)
Quote:
I was at a concert the other day and I felt like I shouldn't be there. Like everyone was looking at me because of my weight.
Even if OTHERS are judging? Which they are not, because 90% of the time they are doing the same "Aaaahhhh! Everyone is looking at me!" thing? (Evidence: read more of the post around here -- 90% of the time it's like "aaaaah" type.
Real haters? Real judgers? Screw 'em. Let them judge and waste their lives like that. Live you OWN life with BRIO! Concert away if that is your pleasure.
You are here on this planet and can take up the space you take up in living your own life. You are not doing anything horrible -- you are attending a concert.
You are not robbing babies in the street to BBQ them at home on the grill!
Depression is anger turned inward. What you angry about? Let it OUT so you can let it GO, not turn it in so you can roast yourself on your own coals.
That's not a fun feeling. Why you put you in hot seat for? Step off.
Let some of this baggage GO. You can choose to carry it around and feed the bad dog some more. Or you can choose to learn to start feeding the good dog more. And thus lighten the load.
Choose to be a better dog owner. You have power. You can choose.
I read all of this thread with interest because it does ring true.
Do you think that we "ask" to be ignored because we slouch and wear black and pray nobody points us out as the fattest thing in the room?
I have been overweight for a very long time and have become too used to hiding in baggy black clothes and hoping nobody will notice how much physical space I take up.
Since starting my weight loss journey and reading a couple of VERY helpful books I have increased in confidence that far outweighs the weight I have lost( as you can see I am a VERY LONG way into morbidly obese).
I go swimming and don't give a tiny toss who thinks I look like a beached whale.
I walk the dog and walk quickly so I am as red as a radish and sweating profusely but don't care...if the joggers get away with it...so can I.
This weekend I am heading up into my beloved mountains and don't care how many people think a fat chick has no right to be walking mountains.
I will take up the space I need....and hopefully take up less as time goes on.
If they have a problem with me...that's their drama not mine.
Good luck, show off your best bits and nuts to the judgemental thin!!
Aww sweetie, don't be so down on yourself! Yes there are people who will judge you for being heavier than they. If its not your weight, it will be your style of dress, your choice of lifestyle, your attitude, your eye color, your skin color......etc, the list goes on. Don't let the "haters" define you. Even more important don't judge yourself too harshly. Remember people can make you feel inferior only if you allow them to. Own who you are and learn to love that person!!!
This weekend I am heading up into my beloved mountains and don't care how many people think a fat chick has no right to be walking mountains.
I will take up the space I need....and hopefully take up less as time goes on.
If they have a problem with me...that's their drama not mine.
Good luck, show off your best bits and nuts to the judgemental thin!!
This. Exactly this. I am older than you and have spent a good bit of time not doing things or being afraid of doing things believing that either 1) I could not enjoy them; or 2) they would be too difficult; or 3) I would not be allowed/people would judge/there would be a scene. Regardless of weight loss, that is no way to live. And if you are happy and going out and enjoying an active life, weight loss will also be easier.
I still get anxious about things (will I? / can I make it? / et cetera). Before my recent trip to Peru I was insanely anxious: I can do international flights okay, but what about all the internal flights in Peru? Would I fit? Could I make myself understood? How would I handle the altitude, the heat in the Amazon? The anxiety was pretty overwhelming.
Let me tell you: I was the fattest person at Machu Picchu and I should /not/ have said no to the people trying to sell me walking sticks at the train station, but I was at Machu Picchu. Two days, hiking all over - up to the highest point in the city - down to the entrance to Huanya Picchu and back again. Somewhere there is a picture documenting me walking on the swinging bridges of the rain forest canopy walk. And so on.
The "forty minute walk" to town on Taquile Island was an hour and forty minutes for me (all uphill, at 13,000 feet, the day after I had had a terrible stomach virus. Thank goodness there was a little shop at the dock selling gatorade and quinoa energy bars - otherwise I would not have made it), but I went. I made it, up and down (down was much steeper, the equivalent of 535 steps, though mostly sharply downhill) and for the most part I did so unself-consciously.
There's an art to letting go. Even when you do, you might not do it entirely. But it is so important that you not stop living, that you find things you love to do and do them. The truth is, most people are so wrapped up in themselves that they will not notice you, and even if they do, well, you won't have to hear their thoughts.
I assure you, I regret the things I avoided, the places I did not go because I was fat much more than I regret the places I went. I don't regret any of those. And I find that traveling and enjoying life are great motivators to exercise and try to stay fit regardless of weight loss.
i think it's all about baby steps. Taking tiny little steps to dig myself out of this emotional hole i've fallen into. Today was my birthday which is why my friend was treating me to a movie, i almost wanted to lie and say i was feeling sick to avoid having to go but told myself i have to take little steps, so i said yes. The reason i wanted to lie was because of my FEAR that i would not fit into the movie seat and be embarssed to death about it. But today i went for the movie and lo and behold i fitted into the movie seat and dare i say almost comfortably. For me it was a moment of jubilation, and we enjoyed the movie and even went for a drink after and i had a lovely time. I took a step and it was worth it. For normal sized people these things mean nothing but for me, it's the life i've always lived. So from today i am going to learn to live life, i don't want to keep saying no to everything, i'm three of living like a hermit. I too deserve to do what i want, when i want.
I know what you mean. For me what is hard is reading posts about people that only need to lose less than 40 pounds from start to finish. I feel so jealous because their end is already in sight and they've just begun. Even though people treat it as though it were the same I do believe that there are some unique struggles that people who need to lose over 100 pounds experience. That is not to discount the amazing work that those people who lost and kept off 20 pounds or so have done. It is just different.
On the other hand, quitting smoking was a defining and empowering process for me and I hope one day losing this weight will be as well. To lose the amount of weight I need to lose to fall in the healthy range would make me feel invincible and strong! So those of us with a lot of weight to lose have a great opportunity to learn something about ourselves here! And an equally great opportunity to inspire others along the way!
Thanks guys for all of the posts. I was just in a really 'woah is me' kinda day.. It was a couple days after the concert and I was feeling down from the high energy of the weekend. lol
But I do feel like that a lot. I just need to remember that I need to live life regardless of what others think of me. I normally don't care but I recently joined a gym and there are a LOT of skinny blond 'pretty' girls there. And it made me realize that people judge you without even knowing you. It's sad really.
i know what you mean. I'm the only fatty in my gym and everyone says hi to everyone else except with me, i guess no one wants to be seen talking me, but i don't let that get to me. The trainers are very nice and see how hard i work and always check in on me when i'm working out and that's all that matters. The toughest part is all the thin girls who walk around nude in the changing rooms talking about how fat they are *sigh*. But i always have to remind myself that i'm there for me and no one else. Everyday is a struggle but everyday i get closer to my goal.
"Don't like me in a swimsuit? Too bad, don't look at me then. Feel like you need to tell me how fat I am, go right freaking ahead." lol omg can I shake your hand? I feel the exact same way!
imnotperfect24, I know EXACTLY how you feel. I've felt the same. I still do some days. I mostly just have pity parties to myself wising i was just born with the thin genes, that it'd be easier. But i know i can't wish anything into reality, so really, the "i don't give a f*ck" attitude is the way I get by. Screw anyone that makes you feel that way, even yourself. Tell yourself that you are pretty, you are worth it, you are meant to LIVE your life in any way that you choose. Eventually, you'll start liking how it sounds and you'll believe it. <3
This thread is soooo positive!
We as fatties have taken sooo much stick for costing the governments, the airlines ,cinema companies etc a fortune for the problems that come alongside being significantly overweight, I think it would be a very strong person who didn't let that get to them.
Luckily we can get together as a cybercommunity and "empower" each other to feel like we have a right to happiness.
What is actually ironic is that the indignant thin think that we fatties sit around on our butts all day watching Jeremy Kyle and eating chocolate, but when we have the temerity to get out and exercise IN THE SAME SPACE AS THEM they find us laughable at best or disgusting at worst! We can't win so f**k em!!
Happy Wednesday
Depressed
I feel the exact same way!
