I just wanted to get this off my chest. I had a holiday last week, travelling by rail. The fact is right now I need two seats to travel. My friend bought the tickets; she is very sensitive and wonderful, she had figured this. She said to me and our other friend travelling that we would get 4 seats between us, round a table, just for extra space and for our things etc... in this way she was very kind and did not point out the seat was for me. Despite my protests these 2 friends insisted we split the cost of the 3rd seat between use. I said OK and bought them coffees to say thank you... I really do have wonderful friends!!

So anyways, it was very nice; they sat opposite me round the table, I sat in my place, with the amount of the extra seat I didn't fill used to put a small bag in.

Unfortunately though, an embarrassing thing happened on the way back. It was quite busy, and a woman saw the 'spare' seat. She did not seem to notice that a significant portion of this seat was filled with me and my fat bum. I said I was sorry but the seat was our groups and pointed out the reservation card. She then said that there was no one sitting there though. I started to feel a bit worried what to say; I felt she would be annoyed at me not letting her sit there, but also annoyed/uncomfortable had she had to seat in the bit of seat on the end there. So I had to say that no one was sat there but I had bought it because sitting next to me would not be comfortable for people.

I felt really embarrassed that attention was drawn to the whole situation. In the end she just sighed and gave me a bit of a frustrated look. I noticed a few other people look at the seat then look at me. Rightly or wrongly I felt they all felt annoyed at the fat guy hogging an extra seat with his fat. It is really hard to know what to do for the best in this situation and there is no way to escape the chance of embarrassment. I can't wait 'til I don't need 2 seats anymore... fat guy problems!
xxx

oh sweetie that sounds just awful, im very sorry that you even had to go through that *hugs*. if its any consolation i think the small seat thing happens to a good deal of us struggling with our weight. i remember a summer or two ago when i was at my heaviest me and my husband and my sister went to the budget theater for an afternoon out. i had never been there but thought surely all theater seats were the same and didnt think twice about fitting comfortably in them. well sure enough i didnt fit and i tried row after row of seats nothing. i just broke down there were so many people just watching me fail. finally i found one seat and it was off in its own corner by itself with no other chairs around that fit and i had to sit there by myself for the rest of the movie. i left half way because i just couldnt handle he shame and embarassment.
its a very unsettling thing to go through but the good news is that we wont be in this situation long. i read a qoute recently to just get myself in a good mindset it says "the miracle isnt that i made it, the real miracle is that i even started at all".

very good luck to you on your journey, i wish you continued success and health

i'm so sorry this happened to you, it's so unfortunate that despite our best efforts to lose the weight, we still have to incur such incidents. I get that on the bus alot during rush hour when the bus gets packed, someone will rush to look for a seat anywhere except next to me. There's this one time a lady sat then got up and made a loud comment like "i paid a full price ticket to seat on half a seat" then everyone turned to look at me and how i was occupying one and a half seats due to my size. I was so embarrassed i started to tear right there. Some people are just mean or just don't use their heads *sigh*

That must have been so hard to go through!

But kudos to you for being so considerate of the lady. Honestly if someone didn't take the hint when I told them the seat had already been paid for I probably would have let her try and seat beside me and be uncomfortable.

You're an amazing person for thinking about the feelings of a rude stranger when you were in such an embarrassing situation yourself.

Yes... it is certainly an indignity we commonly have to go through. Well, I do anyways. It is embarrassing as it is and can be made worse by how it is handled and how people react. I always check these things now, when travelling or going to a show etc; I just get so worried about an embarrassing incident happening. Poor you b Rex... I would have been very upset too.

I hate busy public transport too CherryGarcia. I don't drive so sometimes I just have to use it, but I feel so aware that I am taking up 2 seats. Even if I stand I create quite a big obstacle so it's not any better really. It is embarrassing in itself, and I have had comments too. I can kind of understand people being annoyed at me taking the space but there is nothing I can do in the immediate term, just keep on trying to lose. It is upsetting.

I guess the woman was a bit rude but she could have been ruder... many have been! I once was getting on a train and a man was saying 'Oh help, I hope that fat b****** isn't next to me.' I don't know if he imagined I could not hear! I knew I had 2 tickets so I just said 'Actually, I won't be impacting on anyone else'. Just so much potential for embarrassment and cruelty.

On a related note, has anyone seen this video on the internet about Karen Klein on the bus? The level of cruelty she endure is very very extreme, it is horrendous to watch. I think many of us can recall times a little like this though. I hope the kids are recognised by the school and severly punished!

If it makes you feel better this kind of thing doesn't just happen to you.

I was on a flight once and there was a couple in front of me in 3 seats with a baby. The baby was small enough to be a lap baby but they had paid for the third seat. How could I know this?

A lady was frustrated with the confusion they had with seats on the plane (it was overbooked) and confronted the couple about their "extra seat". She was flat out yelling at them and asking them, "WELL DID YOU PAY FOR THAT?" They proved to her that they did, but she was still annoyed that she couldn't have that seat.

I'm glad that that couple, and you, stood up for what was rightfully yours. People are just mean.