I have gained all the weight back..now at 400, I tell ya, it is a trend that I keep at this rate. It is impossible to lose weight on my own..while family members don't need to worry about weight. Over the weekend, ate unhealthy, and lost my focus and now am having a hard time. I feel so alone of me using my food scale and cups while others are eating the good stuff. I tried to work around my family eating habits and just can't do it!! I see ice cream, cakes, chips and just lose control. I just don't know what else to do. I can't live on my own, would be much worst. I thought it would be easy on working on making healthy food choices in my home...but it is not working out, when I see my problems foods. This is my problem am dealing with. I have the mindset on losing, but lose control!!
I have tears on me when seeing 3fc heros on losing over 100 Lbs..It is just remarkable and here I am struggling each meal time and praying for the day of me being a good girl...but always fail. I am at my wits ends here and just accept my body weight the way it is.
I will focus on exercise and aim for an hour a day.
Nobody in my family has to worry about their weight either, so sometimes there are lots of yummy things around to tempt me. It's really hard, and I admit to giving in to temptation. I force myself to write it down afterwards so I can see exactly what I've eaten.
Focus on one small goal. Something you can do to get started. That helps me most of the time. One day at a time, one meal at a time, one minute at a time. Sometimes when the yummy stuff is there I tell myself I can have it if I still want it in 15 min. Sometimes that gives me time to build resolve and sometimes I still give in. When I know I CAN have it, sometimes that's enough. Facing a life without stuff I love is too much, so I just work on facing a few min at a time.
For me alli has helped too. The fear of having that sort of accident kept me from eating the stuff I wanted. For me fear is a very big motivator. It just has to be fear of something immediate - I'm not good at looking long term sometimes. When I went to WW it was the fear of someone seeing my weight. I really didn't want it to go up. Oddly enough, fear of dying - while real, didn't motivate me enough to change my habits. Pooping my pants? Yeah that got me on the right track. LOL
I am all welled up reading this. I can relate so much to this!!
Liliann, I started in February of this year and at that point, I just started making small changes. Can you make one small change? It can be parking at the far reaches of the parking lot when shopping or going to work. It can be switching from regular soda to sugarfree. Can you pick one thing that you can commit to changing? Do this for a bit and then when you are ready, pick something else. You get the picture. Baby steps.
This is all about making changes and making choices. You are not expected to be perfectly OP for the rest of your life. You are human afterall and have had *years* of bad habits (I am speaking for myself as well!!). This didn't happen overnight and the changes won't happen overnight either, but I *know* you can do this. I really do. I am doing it...and I never believed I could feel as good as I do know and I am nowhere near where I need to be weight wise, but I am healthier. Thats the bigger picture...the forest so to speak...where my weight is just a tree. Know what I mean?
Sorry for rambling, but I *totally* get what you are saying. It is overwhelming to think of it all. So what I am saying is...DON'T think about it all. Pick ONE thing and change it. Today! Don't wait until tommorrow...today is a good day to start.
Do you think you could do that? We are here for you girl!!
You can do it. What everyone has said so far has been on target. Small goals and small changes.
Just a hint about going off program for a few days and then getting back on.. many times my body responds by gaining copeious amounts of water weight when I eat not only salty, but high carb stuff. Since one pound is 3500 calories, eating 70,000 calories in a weekend of off-eating to gain 20 lbs is impossible. Of course.. give me a month and I can probably achieve that icky goal. Bleh!
The successes of the ladies here are because they do human things around donuts or cake, tell us, and then say "and today I have all my water lined up and my snacks laid out".
More hugs to you and energy and encouragement to keep on doing the next right thing in front of you!!
I see the 100 pound losers on here too and go "WOW"!! But you know what, they started exactly where we are all at too. They struggled to get going, they had good and bad days too. They probably lost 2 lbs their first week or even month, but they did it. I agree -- small steps, whatever you can give up without too much of an internal struggle. I'm trying to stop soda (it was diet but not good for me) and cut out sugar. I'm feeling withdrawl, but yesterday was bad, today is better. It's the getting going that is tough but the results are what I'm looking forward to.
Can you leave the room when the family is snacking, maybe go for a little walk or find something else to do? I have two boys and have changed their "treats" from cookies to graham crackers, fruit snacks, etc. -- things I'm not as interested in. But, I could still binge on them (and have) unfortunately. I just try to make it through one timer period a day (2 hours at a time) and work from there.
You can do this, we are here for you -- find someone on here you feel a connection with and maybe p.m. them whenever you are struggling. Good luck!!!
Oh, honey! I wish I could say something to make things better. For you. For me. I totally know what it feels like to just not be in control. To feel like giving up. But love yourself and be kind to yourself. It will come. Come here for any hugs you may need.
Small changes are excellent! And they really do add up.
Kisses and hugs.
jax
Liliann – I am so sorry to hear you are having such a rough time. Slow down a minute and take a breath. You just posted that great list from Richard Simmons two days ago. Don’t let a little scale issue sideline you when it could very well be water retention or something else.
Is there no way to talk to your family and ask them not to leave things out in your path? It is really hard to say no to the foods that tempt you when they are right in front of you.
You said – “It is impossible to lose weight on my own”. If that is the case, how can you get the support you need? Is there a TOPS group in your area? Perhaps something through a local church or community group? Perhaps OA? If you know you need support, find it. Don’t be afraid to ask what for what you need to succeed.
I know exactly how you feel!! At home, I am the only fat person, the only one trying to lose weight. So there are oreos, a cookie jar full of little debbie snack cakes, and more, just calling my name. It is so very hard not to eat that stuff. I also have to cook my husband and son regular meals while I am cooking low fat/low cal stuff for me. It is so very tempting to eat some of their stuff!! Maybe you can move other peoples food to one specific cabinet, and you don't have to ever open it. 'That way you will be a little less tempted.......I thought about designating a cabinet or drawer in my house that is off limits for me.....hey we can do it together!
Lillian, I know how it is to feel it's impossible. But, it isn't. You can do it, one baby step at a time. Don't let this setback derail you for good. As the others said, go slow....make little changes. The Richard Simmons diet is really an extreme change. Maybe it is too much all at once.
I agree you probably didn't gain back 20 pounds in a week, but it sounds like you're really struggling anyway.
It sometimes helps me to see this as a challenge.
There's a basket on our secretary's desk at work which is nearly always filled with candy. I used to eat 4-300 candies out of it every single day. Two years ago, when I made a big lifestyle change, one of my decisions was that I would no longer eat ANY candy from the basket. I wasn't saying 'no' to all candies or sweet food, but that candy represented mindless eating (which I wanted to stop) and seemed like something that would be do-able, as I always have another alternative present.
It was really hard at first to not just reach my hand in and take some candy. But as the days went on, the feeling of success was WONDERFUL!!!
Now, I have been tempted by that candy, especially in stressful times, but I know call that basket my "victory basket" because in 2 years I have not once eaten candy from the basket!!
Again, I HAVE eaten candy, just not from there.
Sometimes these victories seem small, but I tell you they build on each other. I am quite proud of my ongoing victory over that silly basket.
So, maybe think about small changes and challenges and other ways you can recommit to this process!
I just want to add one thing. All my life I've had family and friends who said they supported me in my weight loss efforts. Sometimes they've done more than support, they've nagged, or they've monitored my eating in ways I found counterproductive. And yet, when I start making progress, suddenly they bring home things I want to eat but shouldn't. I don't know if this is your situation at all, but I do think that it's okay to ask for support on our own terms--to define what we NEED from our family and friends and ask for that, instead of what they think we need.
And yes, I'm sure some of that gain is water that will go away as quickly as it came. Climb right back on this here wagon with us, lady!
Thank you all of your wonderful and friendly comments/support. It means so much to me.. and one thing am changing for sure is quit the daily scale habit. I am so grateful for all of your responses.. You are the best and just love you all!!
Tomorrow is a new day..and will be back in action on staying on plan..
Please know that many people care and understand the good day/bad day cycle. Heck, just this week, I had 2 days of horrific eating which negated the pounds I lost the previous week. I'm starting over yet again, trying to eliminate my triggers (sugar). So, let me just echo what others have said: get back on that wagon and make small changes. (As a side note, but not an endorsement, I'm currently slowing reading my way through The Beck Diet Solution which states exactly what everyone here is saying. She gives small daily challenges to help with weight loss and strategies for coping with the times when temptation shows its ugly head. Maybe your library has a copy...some of her suggestions are helpful.)
Yay Lillian!! We can do this together. You can re-start at any time.. even mid-day.
I think someone said something in another thread about making changes that you can live with, but don't force yourself to do something you absolutely hate to do. Like my veggies.. I generally hate em. I loathe a few (especially cooked carrots), but there are some I tolerate. This week I've made a salad with lettace that I tolerate (not iceberg or spinach.. bleh) and other items that fluff it up without the calories. It hasn't been bad!!!
It's Impossible!!
