300+ And Ready to Try Again Weekly Thread (#1093)
 

WELCOME!!

We are a group of individuals who weigh or have weighed 300+, or near there. This group was formed to provide a place for others like us to find support and hope. We are aware of the distinct problems that come with weighing over 300 lbs.

We want to invite everyone (roosters as well as chicks!) to join us in our journey.
We share laughter and tears, heartaches and fears ... joys and celebrations.
We also share what works for us and what doesn't.

We know the thread can move very quickly, and that people often make "personal" remarks and keep a number of conversations going. Please feel free to contribute even if you can't make personal comments all the time.

Finally, we also have several extra threads going on simutaneously such as Monthly Challenges, Weekly Weigh-ins, Recipes, Bios, Photos, Exercise, Info for Getting Started and more. Many of these threads are stickied at the top of the page. Please feel free to check them all out.

We have found this thread to be more than just a support group... we have found it to become a home. We invite you to join us.



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Morning, all!

I am starting to feel like I have a little more control over my eating. I was never fully crazy off plan, but for months have been eating an extra 100-300 extra calories/day.

And, it looks like I'll be getting in some more snow shovelling exercise this week.

Speaking of exercise, where'd everyone go on the exercise thread?? Seems we lost a lot of people -- the bloom is off those New Year's resolutions, but you can still jump back on the horse (so to speak) and start moving and shaking again!!! I invite everyone who's fallen off to recommit to exercise in 2007!

Good morning....

Looks like I too will be getting some snow shovelling exercise this week as well, but mine isn't much...just my step and sidewalk.

I've been doing rather well. My first goal is to not eat anything after 8pm and so far so good...i've been sticking with it.

good morning i over slept this morning lazy me.. hope everyone has a good WI . got lots to do today so i gotta go get started!

hello all - I weighed in this am and am the same at 300 - am going to weigh in every monday again, don't like the insecurity of not weighing - something I would like to get out of when I am slimmer.

Wyellen - exercise thread can u just log on and add your daily minutes> cos i am doing quite a lot of minutes so be happy to add mine in? Glad u are feeling more on top of things,thats a good thing., Maybe u just needed a bit of time off so to speak.

Everyone else, hope u have good weigh ins today.

I have been and done a nursing shift, and am going to the gym with hubby tonite.

Em x

Heather--I know I am guilty of having ditched the exercise for some time now (and being absent from the exercise thread). I don't really have any excuses or reasons--I just gave up the whole getting up at a ridiculous hour thing, and walking outside has not been an option because of the weather lately (I can handle the cold, but the whipping wind is a different story!). I've been trading in the exercise for some extra sleep. I'm sure I'll get back into it eventually--it'll randomly happen when I'm ready, just like before :dizzy:

Emilymay--at least "at the same 300" means no gain, right? It's a minor victory, but a victory nonetheless ;)

The winter storm is heading our way tonight through Wednesday. I laugh as every around here freaks out about it--the Weather Channel says less than 2 inches total accumulation, and yet schools are already closed for tomorrow. Having grown up in CT where our school buses literally just put chains on the tires when it snowed, it kills me to see how some people can overreact :p

My stomach is much, much better now. I'm back to eating normal amounts and types of foods (as opposed to Friday when all I had at all during the day was a cup of applesauce and a yogurt).

Jeff told me he wants to take me to The Cheesecake Factory for Valentine's Day on Wednesday. He said he was trying to make reservations as a surprise, but they don't take reservations, so he had to tell me in advance so we could leave as early as possible to get there (since there will probably be a good 2-hour wait). He knows I LOVE cheesecake, but I also know it's the night right before my TOPS weigh-in, so I'll have to choose very wisely.

Hi all...I've been MIA for a while now. And was horribly embarrassed to even post today. I slipped. BIG TIME! I'm not too concerned about the weight -- I dont think I've gained anything, my habits are what have me concerned. I can't recall if I ever posted this, but for years I was anorexic and bulimic and I slipped back to those behaviours. I'm working hard to get out of that and I'm hoping coming here will help set me back on the right track again.

Jumping into the fray!
 

Good Morning all! I have loved reading all about your trials and triumphs and I am jumping into the conversation, but I must say, you have to be a fast typer to keep up with this thread! LOL! I am really struggling with my emotions since I haven't been able to stuff them, it is manifesting itself in strange ways, (short tempered, edgy, not sleeping) I am trying to be aware of it and deal in non food ways, and with valentines day coming I have visions of chocolate dancing through my head, I have officially requested a new CD for vday instead of food from DH (I want the Dreamgirls soundtrack!!!!) Oh, and 3 more pounds gone! Hope y'all have a great day! Thanks for letting me join in the fun! Jane




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Middlesister: Yea for you on your -12 since 2/7. That is AWESOME! I'm so happy for you. You can do it honey. Just keep up the great work.

Heather: Be careful when you have to shovel all that snow. Watch your back etc.

KnCmamma: Congrats on doing your first goal of not eating past 8 p.m. That is a wonderful achievement. You should be proud. Onward and downward!

Emily: All you do on the exercise thread is Log on and add your minutes to the group's minutes and post it. That's how easy it is! If you want ot have a little challenge with yourself set an exercise goal and try to match it or beat it. It doesn't have to be spactacular. My first exercise goal that I matched/beat was 100 minutes for a month. Lots of ladies post daily their exercise for the day. I post on Sunday Night and the very last day of the month. It is all up to you!

Simone: Don't fret about any slip ups. We all slip up and into our old habbits at times. That is what we are here for supporting each other. As for your eating disorder, please, please consider seeing a counselor who specializes in that area. I fear for your safety sweetie. Honestly no judging at all. I myself am sooo obese and I have sought out help too. I just worry for you. Hugs to you and please keep coming back here. We all care about you and would love to try to lift you up back on the healthy weight loss band wagon. Not to mention all the encouragement that you could give to someone else who is in need. Hugs to you honey!


MissBliss: Yea to you on your -3 pounds. Glad to have you on board!

Ammi: No guilt doll. Hopefully you got it out of your system. You have been really pretty much a weight loss angel. No guilt. Remember that. No guilt. Tomorrow back on track. Hugs to you.

Blessings all,
Annie

Good afternoon everyone. I fell into a frozen cheese pizza Saturday and couldn't get up! So no loss this week. I knew it was happening too. All day I observed my antsiness just leaning towards that. Boredom can be conquered but only if your mind is alert. If your thought processes feel stuffed full of cotton that complicates things. I knew I should call someone, or get busy doing something but I just felt so slooooow. I know it came about because I didn't get out much all week. Isolation makes my brain go into slow motion.

Jane - I hear ya, sister! As evidenced above. :lol: Losing the food crutch for emotions can be brutal at times.

Jill - Glad you are feeling better. Hope you have a blast at the Cheesecake Factory and that you can fit in a piece of cheesecake if you want to!

Thank you, Annie for your concern. I did go back to see a therapist for this and my GP as well [he prescribes my meds]. I didn't want it to get out of hand like it had before. I know the signs and I know when it's time to get my butt back to the therapist for help. I hated living like that and I don't want to go back to that.

Ammi i agree no guilt and you are doing so well i hope you enoyed it very much.. and i had a difficult weekend too

Hey everyone,

Getting settled in here. For now I have pretty much unpacked everything we have so far. All of our other stuff will be here in 3 weeks. I have not really been feeling that well lately. I am hypothyroid and my last Dr had a hard time getting my levels right. And I think once again they are low again. So I am dragging! I have to find all new doctors now. Also like many of you I have not been doing well with food at all! Back in Barrow, AK there was no fast food. Well we have been eating HORRIBLE the last few days and we feel horrible. I actually feel so sick! So yesterday we went grocery shopping and I got some great healthy food. I forget now I can actually get fresh meats and fruit!:carrot: Life here is for sure better! Also I am about to order some workout clothes from Avenue. Just getting back on track!:)

Hope everyone is having a good day! Take care!:hug:

Went to the gym, and did an hours exercise (after nursing shift) :) really pleased myself....

AND doing really well with my eating too - happy girl!!

Hey girls!
Well today was day 2 and it was a great one. I didnt feel hungry at all (which is amazing *L*) I just wanted to pop in and update before I go get ready for photography class. I took NO pictures this week. Its always on the weekend and this weekend was nutso so I'm kind of disappointed there. OK well :hug: to those that aren't doing so well and :cheer: to those that are. I'll have more time tomorrow....
Brenda :wave:

Simone: Good. I'm glad that you have things in control. Hugs.

Michelle: Feel better really soon. Hugs.

Emily: Yea Emily. Way to go girl.

Brenda: Have a fun time in class!

Patti: Hugs. Sorry you had a bad weekend.

Blessings all,
Annie

Ya know, I think it's just a yucky Monday. Everyone at work was grouchy, lots of us have been struggling.
I just want everyone to know I really appreciate everyone being so candid and supportive. Y'all are the best!
Ammi~Hang in there, Sweetie, you'll be ok. Tomorrow is a new day. :hug:

:headache:

I am sitting here under two blankets just shivering. It is so cold out, and the walk from the bus stop was just about above my threshold today. We went for Chinese food. It seems like the colder it gets the more food we both want to eat. That’s got to be primal, caveman stuff somehow. This week is also the 16th anniversary of my injuries/attack. It’s brought up so many feelings and fears. I have to remind myself that making changes in my life to become healthier isn’t just about physical, but also about mental. I wouldn’t be in the mess I am today if my mouth wasn’t connected to my brain. There is a support group here run by the Mennonite’s Newcomers center that is for torture and trauma survivors. My husband wants me to go, but I didn’t think I had the right to be in a group with people who were tortured in a Chinese prison or gang raped in Bosnia. I sedated myself with food for the first 12 years after my attack. I have to learn to live without that crutch, and not replace it with some other one. Sometimes I feel like if I don’t hang on really tight, that I will just lose touch with gravity and float off the Earth. And yes, I’ve had lots of therapy, but there aren’t any easy solutions for PTSD. So I’m just going to start again tomorrow, and white knuckle it the best I can.

Catherine: Hugs to you sweetie. We won't let you go floating off. We need you to be here. We love you. So sorry you are going through stuff right now. Hang on tight. You are absolutely right about the colder you are the more you want to eat according to "You on A Diet" I just read it last night. It said that our matabolism slows down when we are cold to save the fat etc. that we have for energy to keep warm. Before I read that in the book I knew that though because when it is winter time growing up we always fed the horses and cows more to help keep them warmer. So, you are right. Hope the Chinese food was yummy. I haven't been able to find any really good Chineese food since we moved here. Oh well, I guess it will be even more of a treat when we go down to visit my parents if we have it there. Any way, just wanted to say hi and hang in there tight.

Bless you,
Annie

Hi everyone
Well i managed to miss 2 days of threads due to work. this post will be brief, but wanted to say hi and that i totally understand the food issues we all go through!
Im actually doing well this week. i will find out how well when i weigh wednesday. ive missed posting but last week was crazy for me, so hopefully i will be back more regularly this week.
hang in there, everyone. we can do this:)
Have a good night:)

Chimichanga - That picture reminds me of someone who is constipated. I'm not sure if that is your problem, or whether you are just not happy with life at the present. Whichever it is, I truly hope things improve for you soon.

Catherine - I don't know the background of the cause of your stress, but it sounds as though you have had your fair share of things (and MORE) in your life and I am just REALLY glad that you have found a wonderful partner to share your life with now and who seems to understand what you are going through. It sounds as though something horrific happened to you, and I am not surprised that you used food as a crutch. People have used far worse things to survive a trauma. I am impressed that you have come so far since then, and I am sure that you will find the strength to continue living as healthy life as you can. There will be bumps along the way, but you seem like the sort of person who will ride through those times and come out the other side prepared to continue the journey.
I am truly hoping for warmer weather for you soon. I can only imagine the temperatures that you must be getting at the moment and I am not sure I could live with that at all. I am SO glad that my hubby chose to come and live in Western Australia with me, rather than asking me to go and live in Canada. It is a beautiful place to visit (in the summer), but I'm not sure I could cope with the winters.

Annie - I have seen "You on a Diet" in the stores over here and I think I may have to buy it. It sounds as though it has lots of hints and tips, as well as just basic information. I really like knowing WHY things happen, so that I can understand my body more.

Brenda - Well done on Day 2!! Before you know it, Day 3 will have flown by. I hope you find time this coming weekend to take some pics. That is one of the reasons we go to the zoo so often. Hubby takes LOTS of pics. I would take them too, but I just like the wandering and telling him what I want photos of.

Emilymay - I take my hat off to you, being able to exercise for an hour after work. I am definitely not at my best in the afternoons/evenings. I have certainly worked out then, and did so on a daily basis while I was losing weight, but now that I have a choice, I try to get most of my exercise in during the morning. Preferably as soon as I get up. I do manage to walk home from school most afternoons, but that is only a 10 minute brisk walk, and I have afternoon tea to look forward to, which always gives me that added incentive.

Michelle - I'm sorry to hear that you haven't been well. I hope you can find a good doctor there who can help you out.
I understand what your system must be going through with all that fast food that it isn't used to. I have almost given up on fast food because of that. It isn't as though I worry so much about my weight (although I know it doesn't help with losing weight) but it is more about the way it makes me feel afterwards. Good luck with buying lots of fresh food to make your own meals with. It must be quite the novelty to just be able to duck out to stores and buy whatever you need.

Ammi - I am sorry you have been struggling lately. I think you are right about just having a brief respite from it all and going a little easy on yourself. I never really did that when I was losing weight, but maybe I should, because then I would have an alternative plan for times like this when I have had a little weight creep back on and I'm not sure what to do (other than cut WAY back on my eating) to get rid of it. If you have this little break, and get your thoughts/emotions all sorted out, then you will probably be more willing to get back on track in a little while. I truly hope that you are not kicking yourself too much about how you have been going and that you realise it is just temporary. Good luck with getting back on track tomorrow. But remember... if you want to have another 'rest' day, then do so. A few days are not going to break all of the good work you have been doing.

Simone - The fact that you are acknowledging those behaviours and are willing to deal with them before they get too much out of control is a MAJOR step in the right direction. I hope that things settle down for you soon and you can continue working on your new lifestyle.

Jane - Welcome!!!! I hope you enjoy it here. You will certainly receive all of the support, friendship and encouragement that you could possibly want here. Please let me know what the Dream Girls CD is like. I have only seen snippets here and there, but it looks great! I may have to look at getting that one myself. I saw an adorable teddy holding a rose the other day and hubby bought it for me for Valentine's Day, so I can't wait to actually 'get' it tomorrow. I will have to take it to school to show the kids.

Jill - I am SO glad that you are feeling better. I hope you have a lovely time at the Cheesecake Factory. It is funny hearing people talk about going there for a meal, because our Cheesecake shops over here JUST sell cheesecake. It is amazingly delicious though!!!!!
It always amazes me that people have "snow days". I can't imagine not being able to go to school because it is snowing. Mind you... I've never actually seen snow fall, so that shouldn't surprise anyone. We have a ruling (well, maybe just an understanding) over here that if the weather is over 40C (104F) for 3 days in a row, then the parents can keep their child home on the third and consecutive 40+ days. We don't get many times that this actually happens, and we don't get many parents taking us up on the offer either.

Heather - It is good to hear that you have gained back control of your eating. I knew it wouldn't be long, but I understand how frustrating it must have been for you. When I have been 'hormonal' I have been amazed at the eating habits I've had for a couple of years now that I have just wanted to throw out of the window.
I will add my minutes to the exercise thread in the next day or so. I'm keeping track of them in my diary, but haven't been posting them.

Now... as for me... I am still flumoxed about why my weight is going UP instead of DOWN. I have spoken to Jodie (dietician friend) and she has recommended a natural therapy to try and sort out my hormones. She says that it works for her and she knows it has worked for other people, so I am certainly willing to give it a go. I truly feel as though a lot of this is due to hormones. If I knew I had been pigging out, or not exercising, then I would know what I had to do to lose it again. But at the moment, I think it would be harmful to exercise any more than the average 60/70 mins a day I am doing, with one rest day a week if I am lucky. I also don't want to cut down too much on my food, as Jodie has already told me that I may not be eating enough of some things, and I am not sure I want to cut back too much anyway, because I LOVE my food and I hate the thought of having to starve, when I have done so well just eating healthy portions of healthy food.

It could be that my body is adjusting to the new exercise it is getting on the CrossTrainer/Elliptical. I am able to do more on it now, so I actually did 50 minutes this morning. Oh... Lilion - I was reading where you said that you walked UPHILL for your workout on the elliptical. I couldn't work out how you did that, and I then realised that I had been walking uphill most of the time I have had this piece of equipment (since Saturday). After my first two short bursts on it, I asked hubby to move the front up a couple of notches. For some reason I thought that would even my stride out, but it actually had me going uphill. Well DUH!!!!!! Now you can all see why I only teach Elementary kids. Anyone higher would run rings around me!

Anyway... things are going pretty well other than the weight issue. I actually feel pretty good, and am eating and exercising well. Things are a little busy with work, but that is pretty normal for the beginning of the year. I had to go to Professional Development all day yesterday, and this evening is the Parent/Teacher night, and tomorrow we have a staff meeting, and next Monday and Tuesday are more days of PD. That could be it for the next couple of weeks, but I'm not really sure. I don't know whether it is old age, or just WAY too much to think about, but I am sure that more information is getting OUT of my head that is actually getting INTO it. So I often have to be reminded about what is going on around the place.

I hope you all have had a wonderful start to the new week.

Take care,

Zelma

I have to go shovel snow before it gets taller than my boots, but I just wanted to give everyone a big :hug:

Ammi, don't fret about a few "blip" days. I get what you mean about not wanting to be so strict all the time. I have problems when I hit those big milestones. I am only finally feeling like I am more in control, over 3 months after reaching "non-obesity". The good news is that over those 3 months I've maintained my weight, something I would have never thought possible in the past.

Catherine -- You are so right about this being a mental journey, and you have come so far on that journey already! :hug: to you.

Zelma -- Dreaded hormones might very well be the cause. I'm with you on not wanting to increase the exercise or decrease the food. Although you've gained, I don't think it's at all likely you will gain it ALL back as long as you keep with your new habits. That's something I tell myself frequently.

Okay ladies, off I go to shovel (and don't worry, Annie, I am careful! Thanks for caring!!)

Crock -- GOOD TO SEE YOU AGAIN! :hug:

How are you doing????

Zelma, I don't really walk "uphill" on my elliptical, because mine doesn't have an incline, which apparently yours does. Mine has a "hill program" where it gradually increases resistance until it's fairly high (the difference between walking on flat land and walking up hill) and then gradually takes it back down. I know some ellipticals come with both resistance and incline, which apparently yours does. I don't think I ever want to do incline! :lol:

Catherine: :hug: Hang in there dear! We all love you and are here for you anytime you need to talk things out! This will pass and life will go on, better than ever! :hug:

Chimichanga: I was lurking and read your post before you edited it. You confessed, you're forgiven. Now forgive yourself and get back on track! Stumbling isn't the end of the world and isn't a failure unless you give up! :hug:

Hey Crock~! Welcome back! :D

Heather - so it's snowing where you are too, huh? I'M SO READY FOR SPRING!

Got to run! Later ladies! :D

Lilion -- Ditto on the spring thing. So many people say they can't wait for March, when spring arrives. Around here March is just a big old tease -- it will probably be cold and snowy/rainy -- I don't think we'll see spring till April. :(

First round of shovelling done.

Hello!

I think I am the only person that can binge on ricecakes! I got home from rehearsal last night ( I am a stage manager at a local theater) and I ate eight ricecakes! I guess it isn't the food that bothers me as much as the behavior! Pigging out is pigging out whatever you eat!

The weather is supposed to get pretty bad here this afternoon, 8-12 inches of snow...guess I better go stock up on ricecakes!!! LOL.....

Have a great one and thanks for welcoming me into the fold!

Jane

hi crock! where oh where is Ammi is she playing on the DS again?!

Welcome back CROCK!!!! Great to see you, how are things/work/study/life in general?xxxxxxx
Zelma, great on having this kind of attitude, even when the scales are not good. This 'change of life' thing is terrible, I keeo being 1-2 weeks 'late' it's driving me crazy, mood swings, hot sweats, thinking I'm 'past it', lol whatever 'it' is, lol.xxxxxxx
Ammi, having a couple of days 'off' after your success is hardly a crime!!!! Hope you are feeling more 'yourself' soon.xxxxxx
Well, I had an ok time at my parents', didn't drink as much as normal coz was scared I was pregnant! I came back 3lbs lighter, so I'm back to a reasonable weight, just got to drop a 100+, lol!
Bliss/Jane, great to 'see' you & love your 'Diary of a Witch' quote!xxxxx
Well I'm feeling so weird, swollen boobs, no TOM, did a pregnancy test, I'M NOT!! Phew!!!! But I am worried about how my body is workingor not, as the case may be. Anyone ben through/going through the menopause tell me how it is, just in case I'm 'early' for it?
xxxxxsharon

I have a friend who writes me letters where she talks about people or things that she assumes I know about, and it drives me crazy. It dawned on me that most people here don’t know what happened to me, and it might be polite and therapeutic to talk about it.
I used to be the staff attorney with a state-wide ecumenical organization trying to help family farmers keep their farms. One of my jobs was to monitor rural white supremacists groups that were preying on desperate farmers. I was asked to testify in open federal court against the leader of one of the larger cell groups. I was just young enough and idealistic enough to think that I could do it without consequences. They shot the windows of my bedroom out the week before court. I wasn’t home thankfully.

3 months after testifying, about the time I had started to let my guard down, I was working late by myself at my office, and I have very little actual memory of what happened. I remember sensations and some sounds, but only flashes. I was found by the cleaning woman at the bottom of this sweeping marble staircase. I had lots of defensive wounds to my forearms, wrists and hands, a stab wound above my right eyebrow and a stab wound to the middle of my left hand with some kind of wood carving tool still embedded. I had a dislocated shoulder, a torn ACL in my left knee, and a severe head injury. I also had a broken big toe, and my back was really messed up. I tore muscles discs, and tendons, etc. in my lower back. My priest sat with me all night. He said when he first came in one of my eyes was pointing the wrong direction, and he thought I was going to die.

When they took the neck brace off, my neck was encircled with large hand shaped bruises that hadn’t been there when the EMT’s put me on the backboard. The doctor said that my shot putter neck muscles probably kept me from being strangled to death. My attacker probably thought I was dead. They popped my shoulder back in, gave me a follow up with an orthopedic surgeon who eventually did surgery on my knee. I tried to go back to work like nothing happened. I had no physical therapy for the traumatic brain injury or back injury because worker’s comp wanted my private insurance to pay because I was outside my office, and my private insurance wouldn’t pay because it was work related. As far as I know they are still fighting over who was to pay for the knee surgery. I refused to believe that anything was wrong with my head.

Huge chunks of my memory are gone. As an example, I used to be able to speak French and Spanish. Now I can’t. I can read them, but can’t understand when spoken to or make myself understood. I watch the French channel here with the closed captioning on so I can read what they are saying. Finally about 2 years after the attack someone I had gone to law school with took me for lunch and told me that I needed to retire or the Bar was going to call me in for a competency hearing. This was right after I had a big episode in court. I had been preparing for court by writing everything I needed to ask or say to each person on note cards in order. I had trouble remembering people’s names or why I was there or which case I was working on. I even put photos of the witnesses on the corner of the card so I’d know which one’s for sure to ask which questions in case they got called out of order. One day I dropped the cards and they got mixed up. For someone who had never lost a case, that people hated facing in court because I had everything memorized and could remember every little thing that any witness had ever said, it was terrifying.

I stood at the lectern unable to speak. Opposing council finally asked for a recess. That was my last trip to court. I walked with a cane for several years before injuring my back again. After that it was a wheelchair until just over 2 years ago. I used to play guitar, but the wound to the palm of my left hand affected the nerves. I have nightmares and flashbacks. I startle easily, and if I have too much stress, I get confused or terrified. I can’t talk on the phone for some reason. I might have been on the phone right before the attack or something. I can’t even stand to hear it ring. I get panic attacks, have some hearing loss, and can get bad vertigo if the little broken bones in my ear float into the wrong place. After all that the thing that bothers me the most is the scar in my eyebrow. The hair that grows there gets ingrown sometimes because of the thickness of the scar tissue and its going gray right there and no where else.

Now that I’ve put a voice to it, I actually feel better, although I’ve probably made all of you feel worse. My best revenge is to live a full, happy life. I feel like today, maybe I can get back on track. Thanks.

thank you for sharing... it shows you for the survivor that you are. Bless you

Hey everyone-

I am a little bit frustrated today. I don't believe I have full blown social anxiety but sometimes I get a little hanged up. I really need to go see multiple doctors but the thought of going makes me feel sick! For example I need to go to an ENT I have a lot of ear problems that stem from childhood from having tubes etc. But I can't for the life of me go! I keep thinking I will be the fattest person in the waiting room etc. The anxiety is all because of my weight. For example I worry about going to get my vision checked and going to the dentist because I don't know if I can fit in the chair. I dunno just having one of those days. I will go to the Dr., I just can't stand how I have to work up courage to go. :( Anyways..guess I just needed to vent.

Hi to anyone new or returning!:wave:

CATHERINE~Thanks so much for sharing your story. Like Patti said you are a survivor!:hug:


I hope everyone is having a good day. Take care!:hug:

Thank you for sharing your story, what an incredible story of survival.
I can't help but feel rage for you, what you went through is horrifying and atrocious...Did they catch the people that did this to you?? The fact that you have come such a long way since then is testament to your strength and will to survive. It wasn't your neck muscles that saved you, it was your will to live!! All I can say is I'm very honoured and humbled that you would speak out about this, and thank you.

Catherine - for the moment I am lost for words about what u went thro, and even tho I have lots of life experience I fear I am unequipped to empathise with you. But my heart goes out to you.

Ammi - glad u had a day off and are not feeling guilty about it, thats rock and roll!!

Me - did a shift today and then was soo tired when I got home, ache a bit from gym last nite, anyway just got back in from doing a 25 min speed walk at 9pm, with my little boy in the pouring rain, hows that for dedication!! lol

Want to try and exercise, with the minimum being a walk, every day to try and help burn a few pounds! Really hope I lose weight this week, would be so cool to get to one stone off!!

Everyone else, goodnight from the UK!!

mechelle i know how you feel but you simply must go ... have you tried any anxiety pills/ they would help loads i do believe... i take paxil myself and it really makes a big difference to me

PATTI~Thanks for the suggestion hun. I have looked into it before. I took paxil a while back but I was on other meds for my health stuff that it didn't seem to work. I don't have really high anxiety...mostly all due to my size/insecurities. But I think I will look into it again. And I really do have to go. It just sucks having to spend weeks psyching myself up to go!

AMMI~Glad to see you are back on tack! :)

EMILY~WTG! That is for sure dedication! :cheer2:

Well tonight DH and I are going to check out the workout room. Last night it was pretty full. I think we will start to try to get up early and workout. They only have 3 cardio machines so I will have to make sure to get there early to get a machine!

Kymberly: Hi back at cha. Hope you are well.

Zelma: I love the book. It has helped me to understand the way my body functions soooo much. I really recommend it. I think you are more stressed than you know sweetie. Maybe you can do something away from all your stresses just you and Neil. Hugs.

Crock: So happy to see you back! How are you doing? I hope things are much better for you now! Let us know what you have been up to.

Jane: Yes, eating when you are not hungry is not so great but, be glad that you didn't reach for something other than rice cakes. Take pleasure in the small steps. Before you would have reached for something naugty. So, you are improving a bit. Hang in there.

Sharon: Feel better soon.

Catherine: Oh, sweet friend. I have read your story before when you have shared a couple of years ago and I am always so amazed at your strength. I would have given up. You are so strong. I just thank you so much for sharing with us. You are such a wonder. I will be praying that you feel better soon and get past this awful anniversary time. Hugs.

Michelle: I know how you feel. I have some really good Dr.s and Dentist here in Idaho if you are interested. PM me and I will give you my phone number and you can call me and I'll give you their numbers. If you are thinking about going back on an anxiety medication, please consider Cymbalta. I have been on it for almost 1 year and have gone from 10 to 20 panic attacks a day to maybe 1 every week or two. Hugs to you. Good luck getting the exercise machinwe you want.

Hugs to everyone,
Annie