Mechell-the way I handle going to new doctors is I call and say that I am the biggest woman that they will ever have seen, and are they going to have a problem with that and if so can the recommend a doctor/office where someone my size can receive compassionate care. It works like a charm. I get the original discomfort out of the way without having to look into the receptionist’s/nurse’s face. I did that before going to the OB for the first time here, and everyone bent over backwards to make me feel comfortable and welcome. One time I actually had a friend go into a doctor’s office ahead of time for me just to check to see if my wheelchair could fit.

Chimich-There was no prosecution because the EMT’s wrapped gauze around the tool in my hand and taped it still. They don’t remove things like that in the field because they can do more harm pulling it out, so they leave it for the hospital. The tape etc, removed any finger prints, and I couldn’t remember enough to testify, and the cleaning lady was an illegal who disappeared the minute the authorities arrived. In fact the whole thing was kept very quiet. The detective who came to talk to me in the emergency room was a friend from church. He didn’t recognize me, and didn’t know it was me until the nurse handed him my personal effects. He’s the one who called my priest. I don’t know what he said to him, but he made it to the hospital in less than 10 minutes, and he was in his 60’s at the time. The cop was able to keep it out of the papers. I didn’t want to really publicize it for fear that they might come back to finish the job.

Emily-thanks, you don’t need to worry about not having words. I have words enough most of the time for an entire football team. Walking is the best, and so is setting a good example for the little guy. I read where for every hour you walk, you add a day to your life expectancy.

Annie-I am back on track, without having to white knuckle it, and feel really great. I just came in from 90 minutes worth of shoveling. I even did the windrow which will only make sense to other Canadians I guess. I feel lighter already, thanks to everyone.

Catherine -- Thanks for sharing your story. I hadn't heard it before. I am ever impressed by your strength, and I hope you have a long long full revenge on the people who did it. :hug:

Happy Valentine's Day!
 

Woke up to a Nor'easter with heavy winds and freezing rain. Lovely! I am not looking forward to my commute!

This is day 3 for me and I feel so much better already. Its amazing what eating good food will do for you ;)

hello everybody! i don't know if anyone remembers me or not, but i started posting here last year in october, i think. i haven't been on since before christmas and have missed everybody. i'm not even trying to catch up with all that i've missed, but i hope everyone is doing well and is happy and hello to anyone new who's joined since i've been missing.

now, for the exciting news! the reason i haven't been posting is that i've been keeping a secret and knew if i came on, i'd spill the beans before i should. anyway, the secret is that i'm pregnant!! :preg: we thought so right before christmas and finally took a test the weekend after christmas and found out for sure. we're about 12 and half weeks along and i'm due at the end of august. things are going pretty well. i finally feel good most of the time and am starting to exercise again. i can't really try to lose weight now, but i have lost a little. some of it due to food not smelling good, but most is due to the diet i'm on now. i have borderline gestational diabetes and have to watch what i eat and take my blood sugar 4 times a day. the diet is confusing to me (counting carbs--everything i was eating and thought was so healthy has been bad choices....go figure!) and i think i'm not eating enough yet that's why i've lost a little. the dr's say that if the baby is growing and doing well though, they aren't too worried about it. since they are watching my sugar, we get ultrasounds every month. we had our first one last week. i even saw the baby move around! the picture doesn't look like much, but when we get a good one, i'll have to post it for you all to see. anyway, i'll be back more often now.

i don't have much more time so i'll skip personals for now, but i hope everyone is op and having great wi's! take care, lori

p.s. happy valentine's day!! :val3:

Wezi, CONGRATS!!!!!! I wondered if you were ok and was going to PM you in case you were fed up or giving up! lol It's sad that you have gestational diabetes BUT if it means you watch what you eat & it stops you gaining TOO much weight ( I gained over 100lbs in my first pregnancy, all in the last 6 months!!!!!!) it has to be good for you & baby. How excited is hubby & the rest of your family? How are 'your' boys taking it, ( the ones you nanny for) I hope they are happy and not jealous!xxxxxxxx
I am still in a funk about the lack of TOM, ick.
Catherine, I remember something about you telling us your health problems stemmed from some kind of attack a long while ago. I hope moving, marriage & a whole new life help you.xxxxxx
Michelle, glad the move went well. I'm sorry about you getting panicky, though having to move your whole life so far must be taking a toll on you. Seek help from a Dr. if you feel you need it, try to relax & give yourself some slack.xxxxxxx
I am not OP, everything feels rather 'in the air' at the moment, no period, no baby, (phew!!lol) not knowing what's going off with my body. I know I have to buckle down, it's just difficult at the moment.
I really don't know what I'd have done without you fantasic ladies to listen to my rants, moans & worries!
xxxsharon

Torister-Isn’t it amazing how quickly your body can adapt to getting what it needs. Just wait until you start getting this amazing rush of energy from it. Then if you eat something you shouldn’t, you will actually feel sick. When you start craving broccoli, then you know there is no turning back.

Lori-HOW Great! Dieting can definitely wait for something like that.

Sharon-my OB talked at end about the relationship of estrogen and being overweight. Large women actually store estrogen in their fat. On the plus side, over weight women have an easier time entering menopause because we have some stored up. Losing weight, you may be screwing up all your levels. After my first 100 pounds, I practically went through a second puberty, like the first one wasn’t enough.

Wezi - Welcome back! Great news about your little bundle! I didn't have the diabetes problem, but was quite heavy when I got pregnant with DS. The doctor just told me he didn't want me to gain more than 15 lbs and I didn't so that was good. The baby will take what it needs from you. Just eat healthy and all will be well! And CONGRATULATIONS MOM! :D

Catherine, I'm glad that your post appears to have been a benefit for you. It illustrates to us all how strong you truely are. :hug:

I wasn't going to post until I was in a better mood, but I did my major league whining over on the Old Hen's board. Today was WI day. Needless to say, there is nothing to celebrate. It was actually up .2, but that's such a small amount I think I'll blame it on my clothes - not that they are that much heavier but what's 3.6 oz? I had high hopes for this WI day and feel like crying, I really do.

Wezi - congratulations to you and your husband! You must be over the moon :) I gained about 3 stone first preg (42 pounds) and lost 14 having my second!! I gained a stone during the pregnancy second time, and when he was born he weighed 11lb 12 oz and I ended up a stone lighter than when I started!! So I am living proof u don't need to gain loads for a big healthy baby!!

I was tested for Gest diabetes both times cos I was so overweight, but never had it, my best friend has been thro it twice tho and it is a bit of a steep learning curve!!

Sharon - I had my menopause at 32, but that was because of a major operation when they removed everything!! Its not been great fun but I am getting there.....hope your period turns up, or maybe u are in for some changes early? You could ask the dr for tests maybe?

Em

Torister: Day three op, good for you! That is such a good start. Keep up the great job.

Lori: Congrats. Of coarse we remember you. You must be so happy. I hope you have a very easy and lovely time of it.

Sharon: Hugs. Perhaps a Dr. visit is in order? Take care of yourself.

Lilion: Sweet, sweet lilion. I am so sad to see you going through it right now. I know so much how you feel and it breaks my heart for you to feel like crying. I wish I could give you a for real hug. This one will have to do for now. HUGGGGGGG. Hang in there. Things will change. I think the more you worry the more your body hangs on to stuff. So sorry. Hugs again.

Happy Valentines Day everyone. Here's to a day of zero candy but lots of love!

Blessings,
Annie

Catherine, thank you so much for sharing! I feel honored that you would share this!

Sharon, I too am having TOM issues. I am hoping not menopause and it is just the new eating exercise routine that has me so screwed up. But my mom had an early start, so maybe its genetics!

Lori, Congratulations! Blessing to you and yours!

Lillion, Hang in there! This too shall pass! Big Hug!

The play I am working on opens tomorrow, so I have a few long nights ahead of me! Now as long as I can stay away from the goodies at the parties that accompany these shows, I will be okay! And my first Valentines Day with out sugar! Not too bad! Each day is an adventure, isn't it?

Happy Valentines's Day!

Jane

Annie - Thank you! I'd really wanted that 100 lbs by 2/18/05, which is my 2 yr anniversary of trying to lose. Thought for sure it would be this week. But I'm okay, just disapointed. That's what I get for getting my hopes up. :shrug:

Lilion -- I know you're disappointed. You're close to a big goal. But you know what? You're going to lose 100 pounds. It just may take a few extra weeks!

Lori -- Congrats!! This is definitely a time to learn to take care of yourself, even if weight loss isn't the focus!

just a quick NSV... my newsest pair of pants are feeling more loose today!

Lilion-Thanks, I don’t have to tell you that victim impact statements aren’t for the court’s benefit, but rather for the victim’s. When I couldn’t get over that 100 pound hump, I went and got my hair cut short, did an all body exfoliation and cut toe and fingernails even ear wax. It made me feel lighter. It didn’t work. Then I went on retreat for a week, fasting, the whole nine yards, and came back 14 pound down for the week. Talk about blasting through a wall. Maybe you could do a weekend fat farm/spa. Do anything different, just to fool your body. Try not to get too upset because those stress hormones just make it harder to lose. Of course crying would also lose you a few ounces, so do it and get it all out of your system. I even made a dummy out of my old fat clothes and kicked it when I was plateaued.

MissBliss-I think genetics have a lot to do with menopause. When I told the doctor that my mom was 40 when I was born and had 8 miscarriages after that, my grandmother had her last at 45 and my great grandmother had her 12th at 48, he said that I probably wouldn’t go through menopause for a while yet. My great grandfather was crippled falling out of the hay loft after the last baby. I’ve often wondered if she pushed him. I think she’d have gotten off with justifiable.

Just did 25 lengths in the pool again!! Yay! Had a lovely valentines day too.

Hugs to u Lilion, it will happen sooner or later xx

Hi ladies
I missed a whole days of threads again due to a computer mishap, but it is up and running again:) I want to do personals but if i accidently leave you out, please forgive my overworked brain:)
CATHERINE: thank you for sharing your story. you are a inspirational and courageous woman. you have gone through so much in your life! I laughed when you said you made a dummy out of your old clothes and kicked it when you got mad, that sounds like a great idea:)
MECHELLE: Im happy for you to be settling in your new area. thats great there is a workout room so close. i also understand all the fears you have about doctors offices, etc.
SHARON: Im sorry your having woman troubles, i always feel awful when i have PMS or miss a period, i hope things straighten out for you.
AMMI: Good job on getting back on track so quickly. thats always been my problem, i get off track and forget to get back on, lol
EMILY: You are doing so well with food and excersise, good job:)
CHIMI: I cant believe they dont have sugar free jello where you live, i would seriously mail you some if it wouldnt take forever!
PATTI: Congrats on the loose jeans victory! that is an awesome feeling isnt it? i really wish i had started beginning measurements, i can really tell a difference in my clothes!
LILLION: im sorry your down about your weigh in. you have done an amazing job so far, you have nothing to be down about. i have no doubt you will be 100lbs down very soon.
ANNIE: When do you start your new job? i am happy for you!! i know you will do wonderful too
LORI: congrats on the new baby:) i hope you have a wonderful and healthy pregancy:)
HEATHER: how is the gym going? i am seriously thinking of joining one soon.
ANYONE I MISSED: hope you are doing well:)
As for me, i lost 2 lbs this week:) i'll take it although i wish it were more. i have been working hard, eating healthy and excersising. i feel so much better and i know it will (hopefully) get even better with more wt loss. they havent posted the results at work for the team status, they will tommorrow. some of the other teams are resorting to desperate measures(starving) to lose lots of weight per week and to ultimately win the $$. i refuse to do anything stupid, this isnt just a contest, this is a whole lifestyle change for me. i hope you all have a wonderful night, :)

kymberly 2 pounds is great i should be so lucky this week! congratulations!

Jane: Good luck staying away from the goodies at the play.

Lilion: I know you want to be at or beyond 100 pound loss. It will happen for you sweetie. Just hang in there and it will be soooo sweet!

Patti: Great NSV. I am so proud of you. How are the low impact DVD's going? Are you still able to do your Wii?

Catherine: Oh my goodness you have got the best ideas. I love the idea of breaking your scales once you didn't need them. I am definately going to do that. I laughed so hard at the kicking the dummy in the fat clothes. What a great idea.

Emily: Good job sweetie. Wow 25 laps I'm soooo impressed.

Kymberly: Congrats on your -2! That is awesome. Those people who are starving themselves will have a rude awakening after this contest when they gain all their weight back and then some and you are still your sleek little self! Keep up the great work.

Well, I am doing well today. I had a very nice day. I got a call from my new job that I was supposed to start on Friday and they asked me to come in next week instead because the new computer they bought for me hasn't arrived yet. In the mean time, I got a call from another job that I had sent a resume to. They pay a bit more to start depending on your experience. I said I would go to the job interview on Wednesday. No sense in closing up all my options, you never know if the people that said I have the job this Friday and now next Friday may change their mind. Things happen so I feel good to have at least a back up interview. lol.

I got to buy my charm bracelet today and my 1st charm for getting under 500 pounds. I love smiley faces so I bought a pink smiley face for my charm. It is pretty much how I am feeling. I am pretty happy to be under that mark. My next goal with a charm reward is at or under 480. I have 16 more to go to get the next charm. I didn't eat anything bad for me today. Not one piece of candy. I was going to eat some candy hearts and I was seperating them out choosing the 5 I was going to eat and the phone rang. It was my parents and I talked to my dad for a long time and when I came back to the place where my candy was my hubby had given them to my dogs for a treat. LOL. so, I didn't go get more. I figured I was rescued from eating candy today. lol. I hope all of you had a great V- Day and were good little girls.
Blessings and love to you all,
Annie

Annie - you are doing so well, u deserve a gold star! You are keeping me motivated with how good you are doing.

Kymberley you are doing wicked too girl, 2 lbs is greeeeat I really would be ecstatic to get that off in a week, sometimes even with eating around 2,000 and exercising it seems to stay on me, think the lack of hormones doesn't help, but whatever, even if it comes off 0.25 a week I gotta keep going!!!

2fat4u - great NSV! My trousers are feeling looser too, its a great feeling much better than feeling it the other way!!

Lilion - feeling your pain here hun, I'm sure u will get there, but I guess its like a watched kettle never boils, too much pressure, set a different goal instead maybe a longer term one, like so much in 12 weeks? I don't know, but I sure hope I can do as well as u one day, but it must be frustrating beyond belief chuck xxx

Catherine~ My heart goes out to you. PTSD is a difficult thing to overcome. I don't think it ever completely goes away, as we have to deal with certain triggers. I do however, have confidence in you that you can overcome the cycles that come with dealing with PTSD. I wish I had the capability to take away the pain and anxiety you experience. But you can overcome it. We're all here for you. I truly understand what you're dealing with. Big, big
:hug: to you. And, yes, you have every right to go to the support group. I completely agree with your dh. And Annie is right, we all need you. To survive the attack physically and emotionally, you are an amazingly strong woman. You have survived this, even if there are daily things to contend with. You're a wealth of knowledge, have a generous and good heart. No one can ask for more than a generous and good heart.
I love your idea of making a dummy out of your old fat clothes. I do believe I'm gonna do that when I get to 2 town

My dh got us chinese just before we got hit with the blizzard. It made me so sick. I haven't had General Tso in ages, and guess I won't be having it again in the near future. I love it, but it certainly killed my stomach. :barf: Must have been all the fat in the chicken. :( !


Mechelle, Try to take an emotional break for a day. You have been through a lot in the past several months with your tests, moving etc. Moving is like the 2nd or 3rd stressor there is. It follows biggies like death and divorce. Plus, you're now in a new culture ....again. :stress: :stress: Hang tough, know we care and the anxiety will pass. FYI, my big fat bottom fits in the dentist chair. Barely, but it fits! I understand about the eye dr too. My belly or boobs sometimes get in the way of being able to put my face easily to the machine. BUT, I just don't care. I need to be able to see. If this old woman can do it, so can you. Especially the dentist! When I'm done, I have no energy left cuz of my fear of dentists. Hang tough and "Git r done"


Wezi~ Congratulations!!!!! How exciting! Is this your first baby? When I was pregnant with my youngest dd, it was one of the happiest times of my life.:preg: My weight was much higher than yours when I got pregnant. I only gained 9 pounds the entire pregnancy and after dd was born, I actually weighed less than when I got pregnant. And she was/is completely healthy and happy. She weight 8 pounds, 7.5 ounces. She was the biggest our of my 5 kids. Congrats again. I am so very excited for you.


Sharon~ I'm sorry you're not feeling the best. I hope today finds you feeling a lot better. I'm not sure how old you are, but I'm 47. Sometimes TOM is right on time for me, sometimes it's a week early and sometimes a week or so late. It's been this way off and on since I was 35. In fact, the doctors didn't think I'd ever have more children cuz I wasn't regular any more. Then we got pregnant with our precious dd. :dancer:


My sweet friend, Lilion. I'm sorry you're having a rough time. I think I'm gonna blame the weather. :mad: An awful lot of us are struggling right now. The winter has always been very, very hard for me. Try to take comfort in just a little gain. In years past, I'd gain 20-30 pounds every winter. Sometimes more. So, while I'm not losing like I want, I'm very, very happy I'm not gaining like crazy. :carrot: Warm sunny weather will be here soon. :crossed: We have to believe that! :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: to you. Try to celebrate your new and improved life style on your anniversary. That is truly worth celebrating and success isn't always determined by the scale.


Patti, Way to go on your pants feeling looser. That's awesome. How's your knee doing??


Em, you're doing so well! Keep up the amazing work!


Kymberly, Good for you girl! You're pluggin right along!


Annie, I agree with your back up plan. Completely! It never hurts to go to interviews. It's a way to grow and gain more self respect! I hope they offer you the job and that it pays at least what the first offer pays. :lol: :lol: on the dogs getting the candy. My dh is buying me a ring or necklace for Valentine's day. We were snowed in so he couldn't get it yet. Besides, he's the master of procrastination! LOL Glad you had a happy day!

Ammi, Glad you are back on track. I'm home til Monday, so maybe we can catch each other on line.


:wel3fc: :welcome3: To all the new girls. I've been off and on the past couple weeks. I'm taking comfort in the fact I'm not gaining like I usually do in the winter. :yikes: :eek:
I think I'm staying about the same. I'll weigh in again when I go for blood work again. I'd really like to have scales at home. I think I could stay off them except for once a week. By the way, what brand scale do you girls use? I need one to go to at least 350 for me and dh. I do and sadly think I weigh more than dh ....but NOT for long!!! Having a good scale around would be nice. Then we could both monitor our weight and have more control. It's a drag to have to wait to go to the dr or lab to weigh in.
I just want to thank everyone again for all your support and being candid. y'all are just the best! I am truly honored to know you.
Sending :goodvibes & :hug: to all.

:wave:

Emily: -,25 a week is going in the right direction hon. I think your attitude about it is right on! You are doing so wonderful too. All that swimming. Keep it up.

Sandy: Not gaining in the winter is big. I know that when you are in a cold state it is so easy to gain in the winter. I hope our days of coming out of winter like a reverse hybernating bear with extra fat are O.V.E.R. over! lol. Hugs to you.

Blessings all,
annie

Sandy, EmilyMay, Annie, Kymberly, Katherine, Heather and Jane- Thank each and every one of you for your good thoughts! :grouphug: I know that it'll be okay. I'm back on track today and more determined than ever! Just starts ROYALLY stinking some time! It isn't like it's a big goal after all...it's less than two lousy pounds! :dunno:

Catherine: I loved that you kicked a fat-clothes dummy! TOO funny! But when I read your part about your great-grandfather to my DH, before I even got out the last sentance he said "She probably pushed him!" :rofl:

Sandy - I can't WAIT for warm, sunny weather! :beach: I SO am looking forward to it!!!

Annie - You'll be getting that 2nd charm in no time!!! I agree, I think a gold star would be a good one for you! You are just doing so well. WTG! :yay:

Kymberly - Congrats on the loss! :D

Jane: I have an office mate who does the local little theater. He was recently one of the leads in "The Full Monty" - it was - shall we say - enlightening! :o I love going to plays! Have fun, break a leg and all that!

I have to run ladies! But you all hang in there!!!!

Good morning! :)

I just wanted to take this opportunity to say my hellos, I just recently signed up for the forum and instantly gravitated right towards the 300+ club.. It's nice to know there are people out there who might possibly be in the same exact boat I'm in.. and everyone seems wonderful and very supportive!

I'm brand new so I'm off to read the old posts to try to catch up. ^_^

- Vamp

Hi, Vamp, love your handle, though I take it you're neither a tart or a bloodsucker, lol! Read your blog (via your personal details, it isn't working on your post) I know how you feel, there are lots of us here sick of 'existing' rather than living, watching rather than taking part and our bodies not being able to do what our mind/soul wants to do. WELCOME & feel free to ask any questions about almost anything.xxxxxxx
Annie you should be getting a little package, though it has taken 3 weeks to get it posted!! LOL so ignore the note, it was when you were gaining rather than losing!! I'm afraid the little pressie won't be much use either, but the thought was there, honestly, even if it took ages to post, illness, holidays & stupid PO being shut. Great on the JOBSxxxxxxx
Valerie, how are you? Hope everything is good.xxxxxx
I am still waiting for TOM, Sandy, I'm 42 and since having my middle son at 36 my TOMs have been getting worse and less regular. Now it's at least 15 days late, thank God Steve had the snip, even then I did a test as I'd hate to not know, taking meds you have to be so careful. What did your Dr. suggest for irregular TOMs? Did you & hubby ever get to Red lobster ( or whatever it was called) with the vouchers/couypons you got for bad service?xxxxxxxx
I have to go but even though I don't respond to everyone's posts I do read them & think of you all.xxxxx
Emilymay, thanks I have to go to the Dr's next week for a smear as I has a colposcopy last year to remove some 'bad' cells, whether TOM arrives or not so the Dr said she'll 'look into' my irregular TOM. How is it not having them? I look forward to it BUT I'm scared of the other changes, libido, weight, dryness ( skin, hair and the other sort, lol) and hot flushes/mood swings, which I already get anyway. Do you have to take HRT or anything else & if so does it help? I won't be able to as my mum had breast cancer caused/exacerbated by HRT. WTG on LOSING weight whilst pregnant, lol, wish I did!!!xxxxxx
bye all,
xxxxsharon

good morning everyone. i am glad to say the scales have finally started going down in the right direction... first time since christmas!

How's you knee now Patti? Great on the scales mine were UP this morning! Grr.
xxxsharon

hi voodoo my knee is doing much much better thank you and everyone for asking. i am back on my treadmill for the time being and loving it . still need to exercise but i will get around to it sometime today. sorry voodoo sscales were up but i am sure they will go back down soon hang in there!
Annie i love your charm bracelet idea that was a great idea!

Thank you for the big welcome voodoo! I'm actually finally seeing a downward trend in my weight and I've gone from totally bummed to motivated and happy. I hope to post often and get to know everyone here, I love how wonderful y'all are to each other. Oh and I fixed the blog link in my signature, I had it typed in all mixed up. :dizzy: :o

Annie-the only problem with the dummy, is that it is so big, and so cushy, my husband might want to start napping on it. You also have to make sure you are visualizing the fat, and not yourself. We beat ourselves up enough.

Sandy-I’m feeling so much better. I think I was going through some hormonal stuff on top of everything else. I’ve gone up a cup size in the last week, and now I waking up and throwing up every morning. When you are nauseous all the time, it is so much easier to stay OP. And yes, my husband is dragging me to the doctor. I’m fairly sure it is all his fault anyway.

Lillion-After he went out of the hay loft, he walked with a cane, and I just remember seeing him sitting down. My mom said he was an invalid, but when he went to the nursing home at the age of 90, they made my great-grandmother come “visit” twice a week or he’d get out of hand. I think I remember that the “accident” happened after the 6th or 7th kid, not the last. At least she tried.

Vamp-Welcome, and if you try to read all the old posts your head will fall off.

Sharon-when my former roommate had surgery and went into menopause immediately, she began taking Black Cohosh. It completely took care of hot flashes, and seemed to make her less moody too. It’s an herb that mimics estrogen.

Now I’m going to go see if I can keep some oatmeal down.

:o

Go Grandpa!!! ;)


:rofl: Hope you start feeling better soon Catherine!!!

Hi everyone. I can’t believe it is Thursday already and I haven’t posted. I don’t think I have time for personals today, but I did want to ask for some feedback.

Have any of you found that certain things that before in your life you closed the door on, open up again? I think I may have found the root of my relationship issue and wanted to see if anyone had feedback. When I was at my highest weight I had basically reconciled myself to the fact that I would never be thin. I had tried over and over to diet and failed miserably at it. In the course of doing this I had made myself completely miserable as well. I couldn’t stand to live in that world of misery, guilt and self-abuse any longer so I decided I needed to learn how to just accept the fact I was going to be fat forever. I actually did a pretty good job of it, and was finally able to find some peace in my life. However, in order to do this, I closed many doors in my life. I gave up hope in many areas. Was anyone else like this? Did you shut yourself down to be able to live with yourself (if that makes any sense)?

A little while later I decided that if I wasn’t ever going to lose any weight then I better find a boyfriend who liked me the way I was. So I went on the hunt, mostly using the internet, and found my current BF. He was nice, decently stable, had a good job, had similar interests (mostly), was smart, cute, funny and most of all he liked me. I think that was the biggest thing – here was a man who accepted me for who I was. Well, at least the me that was living in the closed off part of myself. He had his problems too, but I figured I was so lucky just to find someone who liked me that I could overlook a few things.

Fast-forward several years, and my weight is starting to become a real handicap. I am having trouble making it up the stairs of my apartment. If I sit on hard chairs or ones with arms I feel like I am cutting off my own circulation. I am in pain all the time – even when I am lying in bed. So I finally start to do something because I no longer have a choice. When it actually works, and I start to lose weight, I start to wonder what was behind those doors that I had closed off from before. I realize those doors are to things like dancing and movement, outdoor camping, wandering around museums, exploring new places on foot, and so much more. I start to open those doors (and I see there are many still that are closed, but I feel their promise) and suddenly in this larger space and with the feeling of not needing to compromise I see my BF in a different light. He is still a good guy, but I realize that I chose the relationship, not from the whole of me, but from the part of me that had resigned to just do the best with what I had. I do care about him, and he has been good to me and for me in some ways, but there is just something missing that I don’t think can ever be there.

Does that make any sense or am I full of it?

Hi everyone!
Sorry I have been in and out this week. I have been doing great on this diet plan that I started. Definately the best thing I have ever tried. Only problem is I am eating SO much more food than I used to! I am mainly exercising everyday and most days it is the treadmill. I havent been to the pool in forever since it has been so beepin cold out!

Tomorrow is my first weigh day at the centre so wish me luck! I'll be around in the afternoon to let you know how things went :)

Patti~ WTG on the scales!
Catherine ~ Feel better! :hug:

Sorry I am out of time.
Time for exercise now before I start getting the meals ready for tonights dinner. Talk to you all soon.

Brenda :wave:

Brenda - Fingers are crossed!!!

Patti - Good for you! Glad it's going down!

Nancy - I do understand what you are saying. I may be off base a bit in my analogy here, but it sounds like you "settled" for a lot of things. You settled for being fat. You settled for a life of limitations. You settled on a nice guy who accepted those things because you didn't think you'd find anyone "better" or "different" who did. Not that he's not a good guy, but you had him and you didn't keep looking because he was a good fit at the time. But now that you've lost weight and realized how much you have missed, and that you don't have to settle for limitations and he isn't the "fit" he once was.

I did the same thing in many ways over the years. It isn't abnormal, really. I actually married my first husband because he asked. That was about the only reason, really. I didn't think anyone else would ever love me. At least you have come to this realization that your life may have moved on from him before you married and had children. And perhaps he can learn to "fit", but it will really be up to him. :hug:

Just wanted to report that I went to the gym again tonite, gosh it was such hard work, it really was, but I am loving the exercise and already can feel myself becoming fitter and firmer, its a great buzz! BUT its hard, can't pretend its easy!!

Nancy - yes I do know what u mean, I think that lots of things can change in life that change your perspective, like losing weight/ being seriously ill/ having kids etc and that then your partner can seem either redundant or not who u thought he/she was. However, I have also ended long term relationships for all the right reasons, but never completely sure on reflection that it was the right thing to do because after all EVERY relationship, even the good ones go thro periods of change and doubt and strain. So what I am trying to say is that yes he might have been the wrong one, but not necessarily and sometimes I think that moving on might actually be easier than staying put and working - not that I am saying u have not tried becos I know u have been thro a lot of soul searching and counselling. But as I get older I realise the answers are not simple and sometimes after time has elapsed you can lose things u wish you had kept.

I wish u all the luck in the world going through this period of upheaval and hope that it all turns out well.

Em xx

Nancy-I was exactly there. I had begun to dream about being in the wheelchair. I knew that I would never been different. I had completely accepted my life just the way it was. I had no friends who weren’t toxic. I estranged myself from everyone who had ever been important to me. Then one day, I just woke up with hope. I not only thought things could be different, I knew if would be. That finally allowed me to start getting healthy. I also found a man who didn’t care what I looked like and would love me no matter what, but the difference is that he also wants me to be a healthy as I can be. You have to find someone who wants you to be as healthy and happy as you are capable of being.

Hey everyone-

Finally I am able to post on here. I am having a bad bout with swimmers ear.It just has not gone away in months! I did find a Dr. and making an appointment. Thanks for all of you just listening to me vent about the Dr. Its not a matter of anxiety anymore.... I gotta go! Especially now that I can. In barrow it used to cost 1000 just to fly out to Anchorage for the Dr.(doctors can only do basic care in Barrow,AK) So I should realize I am lucky to be here where I can drive down the street to the doctor.:)

CATHERINE~Thank you for sharing how you deal with the Dr. stuff. I have before gotten my DH to call and ask if my size would be a problem. It does help sometimes. Thanks again for suggesting that.:)

LORI~I was wondering where you went! Congratulations! You must be so excited!

SHARON~Thanks for the advice hun. I will seek out a doctor. Or actually I may mention it to the endocrinologist I have to see. Maybe also with my thyroid meds being low its causing more anxiety. I will look into it. Thanks!:hug:

LILLION~I am sorry hun you didn't see a bigger loss.:hug: Hang in there!

PATTI~What a great NSV about your pants! I always notice if I have a loss by the way my clothes fit.

KYMBERLY~Thanks. I am feeling a lot better about the doctors. I am glad you all understand. Congrats on losing two pounds! :cheer2: And you are right about the people starving themselves. Thats for sure is not the way to go!

ANNIE~Congrats on the other job interview! Good luck hun! Your little charm sounds cute!

SANDY~Thank you so much for just sharing your experience!:hug: It for sure has to be a "git r done" thing!:lol: And WTG on not gaining any winter weight. In Barrow I felt like eating up a storm. Cold and snowy most of the year...I am shocked I didn't gain a lot more! As far as a scale the one I have goes up to 330. I want one that goes a little bit further to like 350. I saw a few that go up that far on Bedbathandbeyond online.

VAMP~:welcome: Glad you joined!

SHARON~I am sorry you are having TOM problems. I sometimes skip a month but usually that is a sign for my my thyroid is either running to high or low. I hope you get it all sorted out soon!:hug:

PATTI~WTG on the scales going down!:cheer2: And I am glad to hear your knee is doing better.:)

VAMP~I am glad you are feeling more motivated. This support group literally makes me feel better all of the time. And the great thing is if I am down about something with my weight everyone understands!:)

CATHERINE~I am glad to see you are feeling better.:hug:

NANCY~I have felt that way also about stuff in my life. :hug:

BRENDA~That is great you are enjoying your new diet! Good luck at WI!:goodluck:

EMILY~WTG on all of the exercise!:cheer2:

Well I hope everyone had a good day. Take care!

Michelle!

I too am a transplant from Alaska to Washington.. In this case Anchorage to Spokane.. :) I miss it tons but it's great to find another Alaskan (former as it may be) around..

VAMP-

Wow vamp you live in Spokane? COOL! I lived in Louisiana my whole life then up and moved to Barrow,AK! I am sure you know where that is! In the middle of nowhere in the Arctic. I don't miss it! *lol* Anchorage was beautiful! I just moved to Spokane last week. Also Annie (dogpal) lives in Post Falls,ID. Its cool having people on here that live right next door! :)

Nancy-- As others have said, I think there are many reasons people settle for things in their lives, and then they change somehow and realize those things they settled for may not be the things they want.

You have changed. You have different motivations, you want different things from your life. Your BF may or may not fit into that picture. But I think this is something that happens a lot! You're NOT full of it!

lilion: Way to jump back on the bandwagon!

Vamp: Welcome. I am your neighbor here in the North West. I live in Post Falls Idaho just about 15 or 20 minutes from Spokane. I hope you like 3fc as much as I do. Welcome again.

Sharon: You are so sweet. I will let you know when I get something in the mail. lol.

Patti: Woohoo. Glad the scales are moving in your favor. I can't take credit for the bracelet thing. I think it was Nancy's idea. Not sure but I loved it.

Catherine: I thought about what you said about making sure I don't beat myself up if I make a dummy. Get better real soon

Nancy: Everything you said makes sense to me. Take care!

Brenda: Good luck on your weigh in tomorrow.

Emily: Way to go on all that working out. I know what you mean about it being hard. I battle it daily when I ride my bike the whole 30 minutes. I am so proud and happy when I am finished though.

Mechelle: Good luck at your Dr. appointment. I hope they treat you both kindly and with the utmost respect that you deserve.

Blessings all,
Annie