I agree with the volunteer angle for meeting more people.
But let me throw out one quick point: You don't have to just pick someone from one of the groups (work, karate, etc) and walk out on a limb. You can go out on group functions. People at my work have gathered for an at home wine tasting, a movie, a minor league baseball game, and even a drink after work. (not on the same night )
Point is, it can be less intimidating to have an open invitation to do something then it is to try to single out an individual. And more likely someone might be interested.
I have the same problem. I have very few friends other than work associates. I get together with one woman who is about 20 yrs older than me and all we do is gossip. We really don't have much in common. If I think about some of the friends I have, I really don't like them that much or I don't have anything in common with them. I have maintained a friendship with a woman I met while I was a Guide leader, but I have sat down to think a few times and realize that we have NOTHING in common. She has a teenager (I am childless), she has no hobbies whatsoever (I have many interests), she is so skinny that I am sure she is anorexic (I have 100+ lbs to lose), she complains about everything and is very high maintenance (I am much more easy going) - so it makes me wonder why we are friends at all, we actually only see each other every few months.
I find it really hard to make friends! I live in a small city where it seems really cliquey. I have a neibor who is about 10 yrs younger than me, but I might ask her to go to the movie with me this weekend, she hinted she wouldn't mind going. We'll see what happens
I think a social network is essential to my health. That being said, when I went off to college, I had many acquaintances, but few good friends,and I only stayed in touch with one sporadically (esp. after babies). My best friend from college recently died, and that was pretty tough. I will say that all my life experience to date supports my theory (?) that two or three best friends is all I really need. It's great to have more friendly acquaintances, but at least two true confidants are essential for me.
I stay in touch with friends through Facebook, but also telephone, and F2F meetings.
I find that my online support networks help me feel connected to others, but can't replace F2F interactions.
I have a TracFone and Skype. I don't get *many* calls, but it's quality over quantity.
8/2 edit
So, I guess I didn't say anything about how I made friends. In college, it was through classes, eating in the cafeteria, student government, and clubs. But life in college is a *lot* about socializing.
Outside of college, I've made friends through volunteer work and support groups.
Last edited by BlueFruitMomma; 08-02-2009 at 09:12 AM.
Reason: original post did nothing to address question
I highly recommend meetup.
I don't know what area of the chicago burbs you're in but I know my sister lives in Elgin and the meetup group she's in is incredibly active and she's made just a bunch of friends through it and before that she was in the same boat as you... only not married and without a boyfriend. She had some pretty low times! However, she's become just way more social through meetup and they do things all the time.
I understand how you feel. Last July I moved from the place I had lived 21 years (Tennessee) to New York to live with my boyfriend. I don't really get out, even to do shopping unless it is for clothes. I know absolutely no one here but my boyfriend and yes, it does get to be lonley and even depressing at times.
I joined a book club and have made a few friends I also took up a art class, I was like you as well, I don't think it's you people tend to see full figured women and they just stay away, that gets me so frustrated to bad society can't change their views about full figured women.
)
. Hang in there.
