Have you ever felt like a complete fool? Jumped to a wrong conclusion, and then acted on that asumption? I did last night.
When I was a kid, I was the kid everyone teased. I've had very few good friends in my life, and I usually don't trust people to be my friends. We went to a church that talked a lot about how important fellowship and accountability were, and I figured that surely I would find the friendship I craved there. NO, they were so wrapped up in their own click, that they had no room for an extra friend. I called the members, I made meals when they had babies, I did everything I could to reach out to them. I told the ministers daughter once that one of the reasons we left was because we felt unaccepted by the congregation. She said "You have to be a friend to have a friend." That wraps up all the relationships I have ever had in a nut shell. I give and give and I am disliked because of it. I am afraid to give to anyone anymore, because I am afraid I will be hurt because of it. It isn't that I want anything in return for what I give, just not to be hated for it.
One of my friends got online last night, and then got off quickly, and I got a little worried that I was bothering her, and just wanted to be sure. However, it brought out my past, and my relationships with my family washed over me like a bad plague. It isn't my friends fault, she's not responsible for me or what I feel, but I missed out on a great time I could have had last night, that could have actually made me feel better. I really have to get over my past. I have noticed that since I have stopped stuffing my face, that I have had a harder time dealing with those old issues. Gee, you don't suppose I had a problem with emotional eating do you?
Well, now I will have to deal with those issues and actually resolve them.
Sorry to have dumped this here, but it had to go somewhere other than in my mouth in the form of bad food.
Scales were down this morning, I think it was the lemon water that helped.
Nanci - Too cool about your fun filled weekend. I must be in the same 20% as you are, I have never noticed asparagus affecting the smell of my pee.
Jul - Way to go on the walking, keep going, and maybe you will enjoy running those 4 miles again, and spread that love to your boys too.
Bailey - I keep my fat around 10% (usually a little higher than that). I know that is low, but it is what Dr. Dean Ornish says you should do to reverse heart disease, and that most overweight people have the beginnings of heart disease. So that is what I am working on. Go for it on the 5k, it sounds really cool.
Priss & April - Welcome to our thread!!! Hope you feel welcome, and join right in with our chatter.
RR - Thinking about you today,!!! Be sure you discuss your calories with your dr., you don't want to eat too little for your little one(s). Glad the illness is going away. Do the kids know what they may be getting for Christmas?
Again, I apologize for the book, and even more so for the tone of the first part of it. I feel much better now. Have a great day.