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Old 07-21-2005, 09:25 AM   #1
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Default In Need Of Some Serious Help

I know this is a weightloss place, and obviously I hvae been around here for a couple of months, and well I have "had" a BF with a lil girl that is 10 months now, and we are "were " living together. Anyhow, he left me last night. We were at dinner with a friend all having a good time, and out of no where he said" cheree, I just dont want to be with you anymore."
Im a mess. I cant stop crying, I dont know what Im going to do with myself. he's not being an *** about it, but he already started packing our stuff, because he knows Im taking makayla, I will spilt everything with her down the middle but still. ITS JUST A SHOCK. IM SO HURT AND CONFUSED AND I DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO. SOMEONE ANYONE....I DONT KNOW WHERE I WENT WRONG......
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Old 07-21-2005, 10:15 AM   #2
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*hugs* I am so sorry you have to go through this. I'm sure that it is nothing you did wrong, it must be something about him -- and how awful, to say that in the middle of a dinner with a friend! I wish I could give you advice, but all I have to offer is sympathy. Please don't be too hard on yourself!
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Old 07-21-2005, 04:23 PM   #3
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sorry to hear this... sending you some hugs...((((((((hug)))))))))
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Old 07-21-2005, 05:29 PM   #4
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JustForUs -- I can relate. My situation was a little different, but my boyfriend and I lived together and 2.5 months ago he moved out. It's very hard to go through, and all of your emotions are completely normal.

I'm so sorry to hear that you can't figure out why and that this sounds like it was out of no where. Unfortunately it sounds like he had thought about it. Hopefully you two can talk and you can find out more about why he's leaving. I think that even that will give you some kind of understanding.

This really sucks, I know... and unfortunately it doesn't just turn around and get better tomorrow. But, you will get through this. You have to.. there aren't any choices.

The thing is, you didn't do anything wrong from what you've said. If you're just being you and this is the person he fell for, then this isn't your fault. This stuff just happens and it really freaking sucks.

This is all jsut so fresh... please keep us posted and hang in there. Right now just focus on surviving... we'll talk more about what to do next later.
Just tell him anythin you want him to know before it's too late. That's all you can do.

Please hang in there.. and PM me if you want to.
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Old 07-21-2005, 08:03 PM   #5
taking it 1 day at a time
 
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I just had to reply because I deeply feel your confusion. I am in the 4th month of being separated from my husband, and I still don't know what went wrong. What I can tell you, after time has gone by, is that I now know that is ok not to know. Time does make things easier, you just need to let it pass.
It sounds like Makayla means the world to you and that you would do anything for her. I hope that means you will take care of yourself and no longer worry about "his" problems. If he can't see what a wonderful mother and gf you are, then that is his loss. You have what means the most in the world, and that is unconditional love from that little cutie-pie.
Please feel all of the hugs and support we are sending your way. You will get through this, just take care of yourself.
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Old 07-21-2005, 09:22 PM   #6
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I left you a comment on your lj but I just feel so awful because your story reminds me of mine. The shock of someone you thought you were in a happy relationship telling you they are leaving takes time to get over. I'm still trying to get over it, but it does get easier every day. I feel 100x stronger knowing that I can survive getting my heart broken and I hope that you can find the same strength now.
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Old 07-21-2005, 09:49 PM   #7
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You poor sweetheart, what a terrible thing to happen. I'm not a 20-something, but saw your post and wanted to tell you that something similar happened to me. It has taken me a long time, but I finally realize that those who told me it wasn't something I did were right.

I don't know why, but a lot of men seem to be total cowards about telling us they're unhappy in a relationship. So instead of working on problems with us, they brood until they're convinced nothing will change, and present us with a done deal. He probably told you in front of friends in the hope you wouldn't make a scene. Personally, I hope you dumped his dinner on his lousy head.

You've already started doing the right thing by talking to people about it. Don't hesitate to tell your MD what's going on as she may be able to help with meds for sleep or depression or a referral to a therapist if you find you need help.

You're going thru an extremely traumatic experience and have every right to feel awful. If you can stay cool enough to talk to the jerk without yelling or breaking down, I think it will help if he will tell you why. But he may not even know himself, or be afraid to tell you.

Your little girl needs you very much, and I think she may be a great help to you too. Her love for you won't change (at least until she's a teenager). Are you close enough to family members to talk to them? Your mother or a sister? Their support may surprise you.

If you want to PM me or chat on MSN Messenger, I'd be happy to be there for you. Sometimes it's easier to expose our true feelings to a stranger.

By the way,I'm probably at least twice your age, but betrayal hurts much the same at any age. And you might like to know that after the breakup I had a short-term weight loss of 22 pounds in a month.

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Old 07-22-2005, 10:09 AM   #8
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I just want to thank EVERYONE for their support. Yesterday was one of the hardest days in my life. I still don't know whats going on. I did talk to him, he doesnt know what he wants to do. I do know that I have to keep myself together for Makayla, and I am. we work int he same building, I don;t see him that often though. It was still rough.
I made some poor decisions on eating yesterday because I was os upset I made myself eat I wasnt even hungary, and I ate taco bell. YUCK it amde me feel even worse.
I was asked out yesterday. Made me feel a lil better about myself. And they didnt even know about the break up. I dont know whats goin to happen, I dont know how I am going to handle this, but You girls don't know how much I appericiate you'r support. It means the world to me. Some of my friends are writting it off, like "oh you'll be ok, he'll be back" I dont know if I can take him back. esp. after some of the things he said.
All these emtions, I feel like Im bottling them up, and hiding behind Makayla, work and working out.
Sorry I am rambling, thoughta are just flying through my head like crazy. I really just wanted to thank you. ((((HUGS))))
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Old 07-22-2005, 10:43 AM   #9
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Ditto, ditto......I know you feel lousy, and the same thing happened to me...OUT OF THE BLUE, I had no clue and I'm probably 20 years older than you. I was literally in shock for a week.

YOU didn't do anything wrong, he is at fault. Just to pick up and go leaving you and his child behind? I hope you will consider legal advice to be sure you get CHILD SUPPORT from this irrisponsible, inconsiderate, immature idiot! They will determine based on his salary and deduct it right from his paycheck...(state laws vary so I'm not sure).

Remember that you're a strong woman and your possibilties are endless.
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Old 07-27-2005, 07:44 PM   #10
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hello
I havent posted on this site before, but i just read your posting and really felt for for you. How is everything going?

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Old 07-27-2005, 07:50 PM   #11
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oh - my weight thing didnt work. Hopefully it will now!

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Old 07-28-2005, 09:00 AM   #12
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HI Aimee, things are going a lot better. thank you for asking. Sometimes it takes somthing liek this for the other person to realize what they have.. There are some problems still, but one day at a time. .
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