The Diet Police [Reasons to keep your weight loss a secret]
There is a little thin asian man across the hall from me at work. We'll call him Jim.
Jim had a heart attack last year, likely brought on by rampant stress, because the man is a workaholic, and can't seem to bring himself to leave work until several hours after everyone else does.
Since his heart attack, Jim has become the health & diet police.
Roughly twice a day, Jim passes my office, (where, to be fair, I have an exceptionally sedentary job as a graphic designer) and stops at my door to look in at me. He lifts his hands and shoulders in an upwards shrugging motion and says, "Have you gotten up?"
"Sorry?" I reply, confused.
"Have you gotten up today?"
I stare at him blankly and give a bemused, "Yes...?"
What is he asking me? Does he think that it's 2 pm, and I haven't moved since I got in at 9? He thinks that I haven't made several trips down the hall to talk to coworkers, a million bathroom breaks, and also just went out for lunch and for a wander around Costco with a coworker an hour ago?
The first time or two he asked me this, I was so confused, that all I did was say, "Yes, I have." However, this behaviour has continued daily. When he pauses at my office door, my inner mean girl shudders in anticipation of the scathing profanity I long to throw his way, until yesterday I snapped a little, and just about yelled, "YES, I've gotten up! Of COURSE I've gotten up, I'm not GLUED to my chair! Just because when you walk past I'm doing work doesn't mean I'm incapable of movement!"
I've also recently decided to get back on the wagon. For the past 9 months or so, I've been enjoying food and hating life. I'm back up to my highest weight, which is a sick twisting feeling in the pit of my stomach just waiting to explode into a sobfest. Instead, I'm throwing that energy into getting back on track.
So, for the past two days, I've gotten up at 6 am and dragged my chubby *** down to the pool in my apartment building and swum laps. I started at 30 yesterday and added on two laps today, and will continue to add on two laps each time I go (and I've mandated at least 3 times a week).
This morning, I chatted with a coworker who I consider my friend about it. She's a weightloss sympathizer, as she's just worked her *** off to lose 30 lbs by basically doing Atkins and not eating dinner. Not my best role model, but someone I figured I could talk to about things.
I said to her today, that my DH woke up yesterday and I wasn't in bed (I hadn't told him about my new weight loss regime), and he panicked a little, but my 30 laps only took me about 13 minutes, so he calmed down a little and stopped thinking crazy half-asleep things (like I was abducted or having early-morning sex-on-the-side) when I got back upstairs.
Instead of focusing on the story, she got solemn then, and informed me that if my workout is less than 20 minutes, it's a total waste of time, because your body doesn't burn stored energy until after 20 minutes of working out.
I've been reading some books for inspiration, and one of them is called "Secrets of a Former Fat Girl," and she says constantly--- keep your weight loss journey a secret. Letting people know what you're doing opens the doors for them to give opinions, tips, pointers and "helpful suggestions" that make you feel as though you're doing things the wrong way.
Today was the first day that I really felt in agreement with this. It is NONE of her damn business how I exercise, and 13 minutes, 10 minutes, TWO minutes... is more exercise than I have been doing, which coupled with healthier eating choices, will most CERTAINLY not be a waste of time. And she candidly ignored my point about adding two laps a workout, and just focused on how my current time in the pool is a waste.
Ladies.
The diet police are the enemy when you're already feeling down. And I for one, vote that we smile, nod, and swear like a sailor on leave in our heads at them every time they try to help in a profoundly un-helpful way.
The diet police are annoying, but you can only keep your weight loss a secret for so long. If you have anything significant to lose, it's not like you can hide the fact that you're getting smaller. I "hid" my weight loss too, but after I hit 15lbs lost (not from my highest, but when I started this time around), people started to notice.
I can't exactly hide the fact that I'm 80+ pounds lighter than I was in high school. People notice. People also give me lots and lots of diet advice, which I just ignore because, really I think I know what I'm doing.
I find it just easier to ignore, or if the person gets really annoying, I'll say something like "well I lost over 80 pounds, I'm going to keep doing what I'm doing." Or if they're really REALLY annoying, I'll be a b*tch and say "I lost over 80 pounds, how much have you lost?" which usually gets them to shut up.
As I've passed my goal though, I noticed that I'm encountering the diet police less (or perhaps my attitude just turns them off) and instead running into people who ABSOLUTELY MUST KNOW MY SECRET and don't want to hear that I counted calories and exercised. I find these folks more annoying because I know they just want to hear that I used some magic pill or something.
You are absolutely right about the diet police, as soon as you announce that you are on a diet they will monitor evey bite you take and also take note of your erercise or lack of, whatever it may be,that is why I never tell anybody I 'm dieting. If somebody asks or makes comments I try to as noncommittal or vague as possible and change the subject.
I agree! It's like I used to tell people I'm eating healthier and I'd have a chocolate bar one and I get "should you be eating that?" I pretty much just tell them where to go, simply because I don't see them walking up to a 400 pounder who is carrying a **** load of food going "Do you really need all of that?" so don't do it to me.
I only talk to a few people about it now, who aren't sabotager's and actually do support or compliment me on my ways. Other people I just don't tell (and of course they think I'm not doing anything because I gained 20 pounds back.) and leave it at that.
I also love the people who come in and try and give me excersis advice on WHAT I should be doing, what I shouldn't do and so on I just shrug my shoulders and walk away. Because in my mind 13 minutes of swiming is better than doing nothing. 5 minute warm up is better than doing nothing. As long as you're moving it's better than nothing!
running into people who ABSOLUTELY MUST KNOW MY SECRET and don't want to hear that I counted calories and exercised. I find these folks more annoying because I know they just want to hear that I used some magic pill or something.
I KNOW! What the heck? My one coworker is always on the look out for the next big weight loss thing since I've been working here and has never lost any weight. She was the first to notice my weight loss and asked me my secret. She was very displeased to hear the answer. Amazingly, yes. I actually have to put effort into my weight loss to, you know, lose weight. You can see their eyes glaze over with disinterest the second you mention exercise.
My Dad... He is the biggest critic of everything I do and has been on my case for the past few weeks about everything. Are you sure you should eat that? How often are you working out? Are you getting enough water? Is that a diet soda? You shouldn't be having soda at all... UGH!!! Food police SUCK!!!
Is that a diet soda? You shouldn't be having soda at all... UGH!!! Food police SUCK!!!
Ugh, I hate that!
"You shouldn't drink so much Diet Coke."
"I know."
"It's bad for you."
"Yes, I know."
"Like. It's really bad for you. You should drink regular soda."
"Uh huh."
"There are so many chemicals in that."
"LISTEN. In a choice between gaining more weight, or getting aspartame-induced cancer, I've made my choice, okay? LAY OFF."
Originally Posted by Jelbb LISTEN. In a choice between gaining more weight, or getting aspartame-induced cancer, I've made my choice, okay? LAY OFF.
Hahaha, LOVE THIS! I have been known for telling people to"BACK OFF." Dad is really the only person I'm a little afraid to say that too, cuz he has a tendency to shut down and ignore me... Not sure if I want him to keep pestering me or ignore me...
As I've passed my goal though, I noticed that I'm encountering the diet police less (or perhaps my attitude just turns them off) and instead running into people who ABSOLUTELY MUST KNOW MY SECRET and don't want to hear that I counted calories and exercised. I find these folks more annoying because I know they just want to hear that I used some magic pill or something.
This one drives me crazy, and it applies to so many things, not just weightloss. I used to be a German teacher, and students would always come up after class and ask how to improve their German. Well, you have to practice, and you have to study, and it'll take time, but that's not what they want to hear. They want the SECRET, the magic key, the silver bullet. With anything that takes work, people always want to know how to bypass the effort and just get the end result, and they're always disappointed and slightly angry when you tell them that there's no big secret, just a lot of hard work.
It isn't just weight loss. If you ever get pregnant, you'll see.
There are a few hot button issues about which EVERYONE seems to have an opinion. Weight loss is definitely one of them. But learning to tune out the busybodies is useful, because they'll crop up at various points in your life, ready to absolutely insist that you take their poorly researched, controversial advice.
Sorry for the slightly OT rant, but I used to think this was a weight issue, and now I think it's just a "people feel the need to comment on all manner of things that are not their business" issue.
Oh my gosh I thought I was weird for keeping my weight loss a secret!!! Finally I know I'm not alone! It's nice when people have someone to share their journey with sure, but I'm not one of those people I debated for a long time whether to tell people or not for just the reasons y'all have described and I'm so glad every day that I haven't told anyone...well except for one little slip up.
My mom was staying with my recently and didn't notice that I'd lost any weight (I haven't really noticed either but the scales don't lie!) and I made the crucial mistake of 'mentioning' that I was kinda cutting back on food a little. Crucial and fundamental error! We'd been out to eat the night before so her response was 'but I saw you eat ice cream last night' like it's totally impossible that someone can eat a scoop of ice cream one time one day and still be watching their weight. So then she called up my aunt back home and within earshot told her how I was 'claiming' I'd lost weight but that I didn't look any different and in fact had eaten an ice cream the night before! This has turned into full blown policing of my refrigerator, my trash, every morsel that passed my lips, how much I was working out, why was I eating x instead of y, etc etc. and it completely fried my brain. I guess in her mind it's helpful but in mine it was doing nothing at all but annoying me.
Eventually I hope to get to a stage where my weight loss is actually noticeable but until then whenever I have a treat day I always make sure it's in front of someone so I avoid the 'I've noticed you're not eating candy lately' conversations which inevitably would lead to me saying I'm watching what I eat and then them watching me like a hawk until I either slip up or collapse under the weight of all their helpful weightloss tips.
I KNOW! What the heck? My one coworker is always on the look out for the next big weight loss thing since I've been working here and has never lost any weight. She was the first to notice my weight loss and asked me my secret. She was very displeased to hear the answer. Amazingly, yes. I actually have to put effort into my weight loss to, you know, lose weight. You can see their eyes glaze over with disinterest the second you mention exercise.
Who knew you had to you know, work hard to get results, eh?
I keep having this interaction:
"What do you do?"
"I eat less and I've been upping my exercise "
"No that can't be it."
"Uh..yeah, it is. I make sure I eat the right amount."
"You didn't do weight watchers?"
"No, I don't like them"
"You took a diet pill then!"
"No, those are bad for you. I swear I just exercise and eat less.."
"It's not fair, you're hiding something."
D:
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jelbb
Ugh, I hate that!
"You shouldn't drink so much Diet Coke."
"I know."
"It's bad for you."
"Yes, I know."
"Like. It's really bad for you. You should drink regular soda."
"Uh huh."
"There are so many chemicals in that."
"LISTEN. In a choice between gaining more weight, or getting aspartame-induced cancer, I've made my choice, okay? LAY OFF."
I'm a sunshiney person.
LOL sounds like something I would say. I drink Diet Coke all the time. I DON'T CARE. I like it, and it fills me up more than water.
Quote:
Originally Posted by BigChiefHoho
This one drives me crazy, and it applies to so many things, not just weightloss. I used to be a German teacher, and students would always come up after class and ask how to improve their German. Well, you have to practice, and you have to study, and it'll take time, but that's not what they want to hear. They want the SECRET, the magic key, the silver bullet. With anything that takes work, people always want to know how to bypass the effort and just get the end result, and they're always disappointed and slightly angry when you tell them that there's no big secret, just a lot of hard work.
It's amazing to me how many people just assume things will be easy for them. Like you said, it's not just with weight loss. I graduated with a high GPA, got my Master's in a year (AND managed to snag a post-graduate certificate in that year) while working nearly full-time hours and somehow fitting the gym in there (and making 2/3 meals for the day!). When people asked me how I did it all, I would just say "planning and hard work." and they were really upset that I didn't have some super secret method.
Maybe we should just start lying and say we pop some magic pills that allow us to sit our asses on the couch and eat potato chips 24/7 and presto weigth starts dropping. Do you think they might shut up then after that? lol
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The Diet Police [Reasons to keep your weight loss a secret]
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