Is it just me or is it awkward to talk about weight??
I can talk about all this on 3FC, but in real life...I can say that I do not feel pretty, that I don't like my hair/skin or any personality problems (not that I talk about it often, but I don't feel uncomfortable saying it) but even if people comment about my weight, I still feel...weird and I kinda feel like I make other people feel weird if *I* talk about my own weight, its like the big elephant in the room-its what is my biggest insecurity, but I feel like even if it wasn't its the most awkward thing to talk about, unless I absolutely know that the other people want to lose weight as well.
Yes, I definitely think people get awkward talking about weight. Females, especially! My friends never said anything when I gained weight, but they haven't said much about me losing it, either. I've definitely lost enough that it should be noticeable, but no one wants to mention it (even after I've mentioned it). I guess it's awkward to bring it up either way? Two of my best friends have definitely put on weight since we graduated from university (one in a very unhealthy way), but I've never said anything besides subtly hinting at how we can get healthier by eating X or doing X.
I feel like it really shouldn't be so awkward to talk about though. I don't feel awkward talking about it myself. Losing weight isn't always about mere vanity pounds. It's about feeling good about yourself, but it's also about being healthy. And I don't see why being healthy should be an awkward conversational topic.
Ditto on what Lovely says - my boyfriend gets SO tired of hearing about all the tips, tricks, etc I've learned. I feel though at this stage of weight loss, when I'm still so vulnerable to falling off the wagon, if I don't keep it at the fore front of my mind then I'm done for. I'm hoping once I can get a consistent pattern down (not so many cheat days, less calorie dense foods, etc) that I can back off a bit but until then not so much >_<
Yes, because if I say anything about anything (could be as innocuous as "I wish I had some ice cream") people go "you're not fat, god, just eat have some" and that creates an extremely awkward silence/pause. This has happened to me at all weights.
The worst was at an already-awkward picnic with a bunch of people I hardly know. Some idiot blurted out in a loud nasal voice, out of nowhere, "ARE YOU ON A DIET OR SOMETHING? YOU ALWAYS POST PICTURES OF HEALTHY FOOD ON FACEBOOK." I wanted to curb-stomp him.
I think part of it may that our culture looks at weight as a personal decision in a way it doesn't about, say, hair or skin. It's stupid and ridiculous, but there you have it. At least, that's how I tend to interpret these things. After all, we're trained to judge people's looks (and worth) primarily by their weight, so if we talk about it we're intrinsically talking about a person's value (though of course this is complete bs).
I think part of it may that our culture looks at weight as a personal decision in a way it doesn't about, say, hair or skin. It's stupid and ridiculous, but there you have it. At least, that's how I tend to interpret these things. After all, we're trained to judge people's looks (and worth) primarily by their weight, so if we talk about it we're intrinsically talking about a person's value (though of course this is complete bs).
EXACTLY! Even if its not a right comparison, I'd get a similar feeling if I said something like "I hate getting bad grades!" vs "I don't think that I am smart."
Even when I want to talk about health, its very hard not to seem super stickler and make others feel bad, its like there is so much pressure to be relaxed about eating and yet be thin, which is possible for a lot of people, but not for me at this moment.
Speaking of it being society's ideal to eat whatever you want and still be thin, i dont know why but i never tell anyone i'm on a diet. today a co-worker mentioned how i looked like i lost a little weight (hey at least she could see it, i cant lol) and instead of taking the compliment and even saying "oh, i've been eating healthier," i gave "being stressed" the credit. i have no idea why i said that but in my crazy little mind that sounded better than admitting to eating less and exercising more... i dont know if i would be the same way if i had more weight to lose or if i was further along toward my goal and i wouldnt be so afraid of screwing up and gaining back everything ive been working to lose... oh well hopefully the "stress" helps me lose another 30lbs hahaha!
I know how you feel. I had previously lost 100lbs, and everybody was commenting left and right. People I graduated with and hadn't seen in the years of my weight loss didn't even recognize me. To them, there was now in-between stages. Their mental images of me were 250, then they see me at 150. They would all ask my "secret" as though I lost the weight in a month.... People who I was around regularly would comment even if I'd only lost 5lbs.
So many people would comment all the time, several times per person per day. It was nice at first, to know that my efforts were noticed. But it got old VERY quickly. I'd get very uncomfortable anytime anybody's weight was mentioned (Oh how I loved when my twiggy, barely over 100lbs friends would complain about being fat...)
For me it really depends who I'm talking to. I don't really feel comfortable talking about it with people who I know struggle with their weight and aren't at the point where they want to change yet. My mom, for instance, gets way too excited about it and if I share recipes with her she'll eat the whole pan instead of moderation so it doesn't really seem worth it to me. Plus she over-shares with EVERYONE and I'm a fairly private person about these things.
However, I have another mom friend who is a personal trainer and I feel pretty comfortable talking to her about it because she's pretty familiar with what I'm talking about.
DH hears a lot about when I lose weight or not, my struggles and what not. Sometimes he's happy to hear it but I think he gets pretty overwhelmed because I don't really have anyone else locally who I see on a daily basis that I feel comfortable talking with about this so I come on 3FC instead.
I have been having the same issues, this time I have been trying to be very open about the fact that I am on a diet I was hoping if every single person at work knew I would be held accountable (I work in a restaurant, so there are so many temptations, breads pasta pizza fries, you name it we have it and i want to eat it) but people keep coming up to me being like are you losing weight? Anymore I try to just say yes thank you I'm working very hard... but i still get sooo uncomfortable.
And god forbid I am on a date thats the worst, I no longer drink (too many carbs) and if were getting dinner I have to alter every single thing which makes me look like a crazy high maintenance person which I'm not, but I really don't want to say sorry im on a diet because I cant bring myself to pull their attention to the fact that I'm overweight WHICH THEY CAN OBVIOUSLY SEE...
apparently dieting is turning me into a crazy person
It's only been 8 pounds lost so far and already my fiance seems to be getting sick and tired of hearing me talk about counting calories and working out and measurments and such.
I don't really like to talk to anyone else because, although it's noticeable, I haven't really talked about the 90 pounds I gained two years ago.
My BF doesn't even respond anymore when I talk about it. Poor guy. He's my best friend too, so he gets it alot.. thank gosh for 3FC..lol
I'm pretty open about my dieting with my coworkers. Just because they always wanna go get lunch, and it's easier to say no if they know why.
My friends I don't see often. So I get the "omg you look great" comments on FB. But I never talk about anything other than checking in at the gym on FB.. Unless someone ask me how I do it.. I hate that question for some reason -.-
I've recently started running, but have been a bit sneaky and secretive around friends and roommates about it. I wasn't sure why at first, but I really didn't want them to know. I think I was worried that others might think I was judging them for not exercising or thinking I was better than them. I'm also worried about what dieting and exercising will say about me. Even though it should be something that is completely positive and good, it feels like I'm admitting something... maybe that I'm insecure (not true) or dissatisfied with myself (true). Ultimately, I just want to be the same person to them...not someone obsessed with weight or diet and exercise.
I have one friend who is very small but VERY open about dieting, weight, working out, etc. She became briefly obsessed with losing 10 lbs before a vacation even though I had no clue where those 10 lbs were going to come from, haha...she is teeny! It didn't make me uncomfortable, I think mostly because I thought she was being a bit over the top, but a mutual friend of ours became a bit worried that if this really thin girl was judging herself so harshly, what did she think of other peoples' weights?
I've recently started running, but have been a bit sneaky and secretive around friends and roommates about it. I wasn't sure why at first, but I really didn't want them to know. I think I was worried that others might think I was judging them for not exercising or thinking I was better than them. I'm also worried about what dieting and exercising will say about me. Even though it should be something that is completely positive and good, it feels like I'm admitting something... maybe that I'm insecure (not true) or dissatisfied with myself (true). Ultimately, I just want to be the same person to them...not someone obsessed with weight or diet and exercise.
I have one friend who is very small but VERY open about dieting, weight, working out, etc. She became briefly obsessed with losing 10 lbs before a vacation even though I had no clue where those 10 lbs were going to come from, haha...she is teeny! It didn't make me uncomfortable, I think mostly because I thought she was being a bit over the top, but a mutual friend of ours became a bit worried that if this really thin girl was judging herself so harshly, what did she think of other peoples' weights?
I know what you mean. I think that it depends on the friend. I had a friend that I dropped (for other reasons) who always complained about the size of her thighs, but you could tell that it was to fish for compliments, or just simply to whine and get reassured so that she would not actually just try and tone up (and of course to get that from me, her "fat friend" - she didn't call me that but treated me as such).
However, if the friend is truly into getting fitter, then that is a different thing. It is probably harder for her to lose/tone because she is thin already, so its probably a big deal-3 lbs lost from a very small person is much harder than 3 lbs from a very large person, at least in my experience and its probably taking all of her energy, hence her talking about it all the time. I know that when i first lost weight that is all I thought and am thinking about. Plus, I know lots of thin people who want to lose weight, esp before a wedding or going to the beach, because even people who look thin in clothes may have that teensy bit of fat/untoned areas - and I'd be happy to trade my body for it, but if they want to look superfit, then so be it lol. I bet she prob had no idea how major 10 lbs actually is - I see so many "health" mags claim that you can lose 10 lbs in a month, it almost seems trivial.
To your friend who is worried0I wouldn't worry about how she regards others in that case. I mean, I don't fulfill all my friend's standards of beauty, some of them want to be taller, and are taller than me, some of them hate how big their noses are and my nose is bigger. If they think that I am big (but will keep rude comments to themselves) then so be it. Weight loss is too bothersome to worry about a friend's personal standards.
Is it just me or is it awkward to talk about weight??
