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Old 03-30-2011, 08:59 AM   #1  
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Default ..my coworkers..

Okay.. so I work for a big company. However, at our site its not huge. We have 4 admin people, 13 teachers, and around 200 students. It's an ESL school. Anyways.. 2 of my coworkers really drive me nuts. They aren't really supportive. or maybe they are.. and I just am taking it the wrong way. They are men and one does a lot of weight lifting and the other is into the MMA stuff. Well they will come into my office and critique every thing I eat, drink, and do. Maybe they're just trying to help me but it's really annoying. Yes, I want my fountain dr. pepper every couple mornings. Sorry I don't drink coffee and I have to have some sort of caffiene. I have cut WAY back on my dr. pepper and mainly drink diet coke now. And something they do COMPLETELY off the subject of weight loss (kinda) is complain about everything I do with my facebook. I don't do anything illegal or post mean things about people. I will just "like" my own status.. or update frequently one day and not update for a few days. They are constantly complaining about what I say and I tell them all the time.. if they don't like it they can hide me. And then when I put my status as something like "just did an awesome 10 minutes on the elliptical" they say that i'm not going to lose any weight and that I need to push myself harder. One is married with no kids and the other isn't married and has no kids.. I can't help it if I can only get in a 10 minute intense work out in my busy schedule. I don't know I'm just having a bad week so I'm going to btch and complain a lot.. sorry I feel like I am doing just fine. I have lost 7 pounds in 3 weeks by working out when I can and counting calories.
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Old 03-30-2011, 09:09 AM   #2  
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what morons, you sound as if you are doing great by yourself, they are either just showing off/jealous of your success without their "help"/ or its some "odd" way in trying to include you.
Just do what makes you happy!

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Old 03-30-2011, 09:19 AM   #3  
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I have never opened the door for my coworkers to discuss weight loss. It's just not really discussed unless the person losing brings it up first.

When they start in on you, just tell them you're discussing your food choices with your doctor, trainer, nutritionist, etc. and they don't seem to be concerned so you're not either.

Also, I don't recommend friending coworkers on Facebook. Unless you're close enough to hang out on a regular basis after hours, it just gets too awkward. If you can, I'd unfriend them. If that would cause bigger issues, create a separate group for status updates that excludes them, so they will not see them.

Good luck and don't let them bother you. Weightloss is usually vastly different for men than women so if it ain't broke, don't fix it!
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Old 03-30-2011, 09:20 AM   #4  
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Quote:
Originally Posted by XLMuffnTop View Post
Also, I don't recommend friending coworkers on Facebook. Unless you're close enough to hang out on a regular basis after hours, it just gets too awkward. If you can, I'd unfriend them. If that would cause bigger issues, create a separate group for status updates that excludes them, so they will not see them.
I agree, if you don't want to unfriend them or if you want your co-workers on your fb. Make a different account that way they can't get so into your private life.

Keep it up you are doing great! The beginning is always the easiest, you might find later on you will have to increase the intense of your workouts and it is better to at least get 30 minutes straight in. But 10 minutes is better then nothing! Also if it bother's you that much pretty much tell them, thanks for the advice but their opinions are not needed.

Last edited by MiZTaCCen; 03-30-2011 at 09:26 AM.
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Old 03-30-2011, 09:27 AM   #5  
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MiZTaCCen hit it on the head - it's your business and yours alone - these people will always be around, whether they're in someone's business on weight loss, having a baby, breastfeeding, juggling career/family, etc. - you won't get away from the critiques and just flatly let them know that your food intake is YOUR business. Your exercise routine is YOUR business. Your online activity in your own time is YOUR business. They can't be too offended if you say that because they're crossing the line in their uninvited comments.
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Old 03-30-2011, 09:29 AM   #6  
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For facebook, you can change the privacy settings so they can't see your wall so you can be free to post whatever. I know I've put a lot of people on the limited profile list

I think it's totally inappropriate and annoying that they are critiquing what you do. Since they are your co-workers, I guess you have to find a politically correct way to hint at not liking their comments. Unless you ask for their advice/input, tell them to keep it to themselves.. this is what works for you because obviously you are losing weight!
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Old 03-30-2011, 09:30 AM   #7  
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I have also made the mistake of friending people I work with and its just to much and too personal. I mean I see them every work day why do I need them to know what im doing in free time? So I would probably unfriend them and say it was just too much. No one wants a food or exercise police unless they are asked or paid and from the sounds of it they are neither. So, instead of changing them, which no one can do, set new boundaries. If you are happy with your loss and your efforts then it is what it is with or without their commentary.
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Old 03-30-2011, 09:34 AM   #8  
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When a person knows a lot about a topic- fitness, health, etc- and someone else brings it up (directly or indirectly, Facebook status or just by drinking a Dr. Pepper), they tend to start showing off their knowledge. I don't know if your colleagues are doing it to be obnoxious or genuinely may want to help you by sharing what they know. Either way they are going about it the wrong way.

I'd say you have one of two options: either don't share your weight loss with them (personally I do not friend anyone I work with, or I limit privacy settings so they can only see a very limited amount of information) OR include them as useful resources to learn from. The second way takes a bit of pride-swallowing but I've found it sometimes works. If they make a snide comment about your 10 minute workout, say "Yeah I know, I wish it could have been longer. Do you have any suggestions for the most efficient exercise in 10 minutes?" They may genuinely provide useful information. Or, if they don't, just a simply nod from you and a "great, thanks so much!" sometimes goes far. Or with the Dr. Pepper, a little bit of self-acknowledgement "Yeah eventually I'll cut this one out completely, gotta have some sort of vice!"

You'd be surprised how far you can go by giving them an ear. They will likely stop being annoying and antagonistic and will be exciting to share their knowledge. They will also likely lay off you a bit with the mean comments if they see you genuinely value their opinion.

I had a coworker who used to rib me about anything- what I said in a meeting, etc- and it was so annoying. Nothing super mean or out of line, just being immature. Instead of being annoyed back and telling him to shut up, I started poking fun at myself whenever he did.. "Yeah I guess I didn't have my coffee this morning!" or something like that. He started seeing I had a sense of humor about things and backed way off, and became a fun guy to be around.

I guess the bottom line is most guys get more provoked when they get a reaction. It's immature, but it's how a lot of guys react. There are egos involved too- they have big egos about their fitness knowledge and enjoy boasting about it. I am DEFINITELY not saying you should totally put up with inappropriate behavior, but right now it just seems like they are trying to egg you on. I think by engaging them instead of pushing back, as annoying as it may be, and seeing if you can pull something useful out of their knowledge/relationship, you'll be taking the high road and they will likely follow.
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Old 03-30-2011, 12:45 PM   #9  
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I definitely agree on friending coworkers.....I only have a few FB "friends" from work right now, and they're people I would hang out with outside work. I don't have the same issues with negativity from people at work - everyone's pretty friendly and positive - but if I did, I think I'd just keep things a little more personal to keep them from feeling like they were invited to comment. It's none of their business - and if they can't say something encouraging, they really should just keep their mouths shut!
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Old 03-31-2011, 08:52 PM   #10  
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I have to agree with indiblue
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