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Old 03-18-2011, 10:18 PM   #1  
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Default Having problems with an ignorant aerobics instructor making me feel like I'm too big!

OK So I really wanted to post this here bc I know were all on the same journey and I feel alot of people can relate and understand where I'm coming from

I KNOW ITS LONG BUT PLEASE READ! I NEED SOME ADVICE

OK SO I started going to these aerobics classes at my gym last week. & I really like em they are such great workouts and I feel so good about myself when I leave..that is until my instructor started making comments to me..

So last week was my 1st class & after class I went to the instructor & was asking questions on the different classes they have, she was telling me bout em but kept insisting on telling me things will get easier&easier. I kinda felt like saying LADY IM FINE DID U NOT SEE ME?? DID I TAKE A BREAK ONCE?? WAS I PASSED OUT ON THE FLOOR?? + I been doing taebo on&off for 2 yrs so I know these type of workouts kick butt- but she doesnt know that right? So I just shrugged it off, then she proceeds to tell me (mind you theres like 10 other girls around us all engaging in the convo& talking amongst eachother) WHETHER YOU LOOK LIKE BARBIE OVER THERE (points to a thinner girl in the corner) OR LOOK LIKE YOU, YA JUST GOTTA KEEP PUSHING. I kinda thought, Ummm WOW ok thanks, i guess I look like fat sloppy crap then huh? + I got embarrassed bc the other girls were around me & there all like 120-140lbs..but again I just tried to ignore it + i kinda knew what she was getting at i guess, like i knew the point she was trying to make, but still she didn't need to say it like that....

So TODAY at class their was only 5 of us that showed up,a woman that was a lil chunky but not too fat(theres a reason Y im pointing out her physical appearance), me, then 2 other super thin older woman & the instructor. So after the workouts, when were on the floor on the mat doing pushups,situps..etc.. were all sitting up & she starts talking about toning muscles and toning our arms, then she says to me & the other woman THIS DOESN'T APPLY TO YOU YET & then turns back to the thin woman & starts talking to them. This kinda p'ed me off, like why doesnt it apply to us?? if anything it shud apply to us more bc we have more skin on our arms! THEN she gets up & says to the thin woman THERES A MOVE I WANT TO SHOW YOU TO WORK ON YOUR TUMMY..turns to us (the bigger woman) & says YOU TWO ARENT AT THIS LEVEL YET & ARE PROBABLY INCAPABLE OF KEEPING UP WITH IT..so as she said that I said WHY AM I INCAPABLE?? BC I HAVE A BELLY??? So she says NOOOOOOO ITS JUST BC YOU WANT TO TONE YOUR STOMACH WHICH IS GOOD BUT YOU MAY NOT BE READY TO DO THESE MOVES, BUT SOMEWHERE UNDERNEATH ALL THAT (pointed at my stomach) THERES A FIT & TONED TUMMY! This is what she said to me!! Infront of everyone mind you. By now im thinking OK LADY WOW YOU DO NOT KNOW ME OR KNOW WHAT IM CAPABLE OF! I DO THESE WORKOUTS TWICE A WEEK AT HOME, & the jillians dvd every single day..U dont have a clue! & JUST BC I AM BIGGER DOES NOT MEAN I AM INCAPABLE OF ANYTHING, I CAN PUSH MYSELF JUST AS HARD IF NOT HARDER THEN THESE THIN WOMAN! & I wanted to say DO U NOT SEE ME WHEN WERE WORKING OUT?? AM I NOT KEEPING UP WITH EVERY STEP AND MOVE YOUR DOING?? ARE WE NOT IN THE SAME CLASS???

So after she said that she went on to show the move to the "thin" woman and when I saw the move I said to her I KNOW THAT MOVE I DO IT ON THE JILLIAN MICAHELS 30 DAY SHRED DVD & she just said OHHH & as i was telling her she just cut me off & started counting down with the other woman loudly, talking over me. I was like OKAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY...so after, as we were all getting up and getting ready to leave she says AND JILLIAN MICHAELS IS WRONG! THAT WOMAN IS WRONG! I was tooken back! I wanted to say LADY IM NOT TRYING TO STEP ON YOUR TEACHING SKILLS my goodness! RELAX! WHAT IS YOUR PROBLEM?

It was just real awkward & made me uncomfortable on top of her very unnecessary comments she makes about me being incapable & the other stuff she says making me feel like im this big beast.

So i left feeling kinda bad, the opposite of what your supposed to feel after a hard workout & i started thinking like I dont want to say something bc the way she seems I feel it wont solve anything but cause tension, she seems very immature and shes 20 yrs older then me!! and I DEF dont want any tension..but I dunno how long i can keep biting my tongue. AND I WANT TO HAVE FUN & ENJOY MY WORKOUT!

But then I started thinking you know what? Im not going to let this ignorant woman bring me down, I will just keep my mouth shut, ignore & keep trucking I CANT WAIT TO PROVE HER WRONG! & prove that i will not stop this class & I will be thinner by summer! (bc that was another thing she said it doesn't matter if u lose any weight as long as your getting healthier i thought what type of advice is that??? We need to be losing weight! Excessive weight is not healthy!)

So if you've come this far THANKS SO MUCH for reading it all and I was just curious if this or anything similar has ever happend to anyone?? I just hate the way some thin people just view overweight people as stupid and act like their handicapped or something..

Any tips? Advice? I'd appreciate it

THANKS FOR READING!


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Old 03-18-2011, 10:31 PM   #2  
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Wow, I am so sorry that she was so offensive and rude to you! What a jerk! That has not happened to me exactly but I have been treated badly because of my size over the years. I would talk to her boss and say what happened. That is so unprofessional and just mean. Also, you could talk to the instructor and tell her that the way she is treating you is offensive and upsetting. You could say that you would appreciate it if she did not comment on your weight and to treat you like she would treat any of the members of the class.

I am sorry again you had this experience. Please don't let her ruin exercising for you! Also, I would try to find another class with a different instructor if possible. You are doing great working out! Keep it up!

Last edited by AngelxxRose; 03-18-2011 at 10:33 PM.
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Old 03-18-2011, 10:39 PM   #3  
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WOW....I'm glad I read all of this. And wow that is not ignorant that's straight up ignit. I would've have given her a dose of her own medicine. You can definintenly prove her wrong by going to her classes and shoving it her face that you more than capable. Ugh..I wasn't even there and I'm upset for you. It's stuff like this that can really break a person...it's good to see you're not letting this get the best of you. I've never dealt with this, girl but if I did...lol
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Old 03-18-2011, 10:50 PM   #4  
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Definitely address this with the supervisor/manager. It's up to YOU to make a change in this situation with the instructor - she's set in her position and has no issue saying what's on her mind. Speaking up for yourself and your abilities might help someone else, too. Good luck!
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Old 03-18-2011, 10:51 PM   #5  
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Wow, honestly it sounds like she may be a little insecure with her instructing abilities by her defensive nature. Also sounds like she has a bit of prejudice toward people that are not deemed "skinny." You would think as a fitness instructor she would leave that attitude at the door and be more professional since it's her JOB. That YOU are paying her to do with your gym membership. I'd also talk to her boss or put in some other kind of formal complaint because obviously you've made the decision to lose weight by being at the gym and taking classes. There should be no discrimination betwenn you and the "skinny" people. Skinny does not mean fit or healthy and as you said already, you could even be able to keep up with her instruction better than the other women.

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Old 03-18-2011, 10:56 PM   #6  
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It sounds like (a) she really doesnt know anything about what shes talking about (kinda scary considering shes supposed to know that kinda thing in her line of work!) and (b) shes trying hard to be inclusive and not put people off that shes become really closed minded about what kinds of people can and cant do whatever. I admire you for notleaving or going on a different day with a different instructure, I think she'd drive me mental And I'd be complaining to the gym
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Old 03-19-2011, 07:56 AM   #7  
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Regardless of your size, you deserve the same treatment and consideration in class. Why didn't she supply moves that she deemed appropriate for you and the other "bigger" woman, as well? She obviously has a complex and is not considering your progress or enjoyment of the class. She seems to only want to please the thin people. And that is simply unacceptable.

Take it up with her supervisor. I mean, seriously, do it. The only way you can deal with someone with a complex like that is by making her superior deal with it. No matter what you say or do, your instructor is going to look at you as a "lesser" person simply because of your size. But if her supervisor has to say something to her, it may actually hit home and spark some change.

Good luck!

Last edited by badassey; 03-19-2011 at 07:58 AM.
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Old 03-19-2011, 10:08 AM   #8  
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I have been treated a little like this before. I was in an advanced swimming class, but of course, I was easily the biggest person in the class. I was also a slower swimmer, although I am also a good swimmer, and I dedicated most of my time outside of class to making sure I had the techniques right and that I practiced my speed. My teacher told me that I was doing great, and that what mattered is that I improved in class, not that I have a high time. I have mad endurance when it comes to swimming, and can swim for a long time without stopping, but I am not fast. The Teacher's Assistant started being really rude to me. She told me that I did not belong in that class, basically because I was too big! I was deeply offended-I am a good swimmer! I'm just big! I told the teacher, who groaned and told me to ignore her, that I was doing great. I got the highest grade in the class because I improved the most! Now, I want you to do the same thing. Ignore what she says. You're doing great!
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Old 03-19-2011, 10:38 AM   #9  
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Oh man, that lady has some serious problems! Definitely talk to her supervisor. Seriously, she needs to watch the Biggest Loser because the contestants run a MARATHON and some of them still have a long way to go at that point.

We have a gym at our apartment building and normally I'm the ONLY female in their running. All the skinny girls use the treadmill for walking at a leisurely pace. Yes, I have some friends that are skinny and in shape too but I have a lot more that just never workout.
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Old 03-19-2011, 11:36 AM   #10  
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This reminds me a lot of a friend of mine. She went to cancel her gym membership at one gym, because she would rather work out at home. The person going through the paperwork asked her the reason, since they have to write it down. She told them the reasoning behind her decision, and the guy ignored her and wrote down, "Doesn't care about her health." Just because she's bigger and doesn't want to waste money on a gym she's not going to be going to she doesn't care about her health?!

OP: I am so sorry you had to go through that. That lady sounds like an absolute witch. I would definitely put in a formal complaint to her supervisor about her behavior. The only time she should even be saying a word about you not being able to keep up or anything else is if you are having visible problems keeping up, having trouble catching your breath, etc. And even then, she should only be trying to help you by giving alternate moves that might be easier, not constantly ragging on your weight.
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Old 03-19-2011, 11:44 AM   #11  
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How frustratingly offensive! I cannot believe she had the audacity to treat you like that. Kudos for sticking up for yourself. You know what you can do! Sounds like she's on some sort of power trip. Maybe she used to carry a little extra weight and is still trying to fight that battle in her head. Who knows? Regardless, she shouldn't be acting like a passive-aggressive playground bully. Hang in there and don't let her snotty attitude get in the way of you having a kickass workout! If anything, use that as fuel for motivation.
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Old 03-19-2011, 11:52 AM   #12  
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I, too, would complain to the supervisor.
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Old 03-19-2011, 12:22 PM   #13  
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I think if you are all in the same class you should have all been given the same moves to do, and then if people need it she should give a modified and an advanced option for everyone to choose if they want it.

I don't get why she would single out a couple people and show them different moves? Maybe I just don't understand how classes work since I've never been to a gym, but I thought the whole point was for everyone to follow along? It seems weird to me and I would be offended too.
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Old 03-19-2011, 12:45 PM   #14  
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I disagree with the others above - I would not take this immediately to the supervisor. I think all that will do will further strain your relationship with her - I doubt she'll be removed from teaching the classes you attend. I would take her aside before the next class or at another time if you can find her and quietly and politely tell her how her comments made you feel and explain that you don't like being pointed out as different (in her opinion) from other members of the class. Explain to her your workout abilities and current habits. If she doesn't take your talk to heart and shape up for the next class, then take it over her head. I would just give her a chance to change first because it seems like things just escalated between you two during the classes and it would be helpful to talk with her one-on-one when she doesn't have to feel like you're defying her.
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Old 03-19-2011, 01:07 PM   #15  
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WOW I'm not so sure this woman should still have her job!! She is one example of why so many women feel they cant go to a gym. I think that if you look at the situation like you said at the end as a challenge and prove her wrong then go for it but if you find yourself feeling bad about yourself after a workout it may not be the best atmosphere for you.
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