Guys and mind games...(advice!) - 3 Fat Chicks on a Diet Weight Loss Community


Reply
 
Thread Tools
Old 01-20-2011, 01:22 PM   #1  
Lifes a Journey
Thread Starter
 
MiZTaCCen's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Canada
Posts: 1,707

S/C/G: 195/Ticker/170

Height: 5'5

Default Guys and mind games...(advice!)

I'm thinking I need my ladies imput on this one...Lately I've been getting a lot of advice from men (who are right, but sometimes a womans touch can help settle to situation.)

So as we know I'm currently in the dating stages in life and the last two months have been dating different people and not settling on just one person. Well this guy who works in my building but is only here for short time before he's off to do whatever always comes to my desk to talk to me. Well sometimes he does and other times he'll avoid me then come swing by to see what I'm up to and so on.

I'm kind of crushing hard on him (but it could also be the fact he's not so easy to catch!) and just a little after xmas holidays he started to come around me a little more. He'll give random facts about himself with a story along the lines, like when I asked him how his Christmas was...he told me something I didn't think you'd really go on about with someone you hardly knew. Then later on I sort of flirted with him in my random ways. He brought up how he makes more money than me. I said yea but I'm happy and stuck my tongue out at him.

He started to come around a lot more after that. I would see him first thing when he came in and afterward when he was leaving and again random;y give out random facts, but the other day when I asked him his name he gave off a cute little smirk with an I dunnooooo and continued on walking. Today he stopped by my desk for 5 minutes and talk to me disclosing he hardly sleeps and is a total nerd because heís a gamer and we talked about that for a bit then he went off to work. Came to my desk later to talk me when he was leave and disclosed he never went to school but got an amazing job and **** and how now heís going home, but would disclose where he works because I was like. ďOh you work for this company?Ē and he said no ďheís too pretty and nice to work for that company.Ē

So I said oh so youíre now calling yourself nice because he always says heís a dick? Then he was like oh weird Iím being hit on by the security girl a little awkward and I was in my head like huh? I donít recall that being a hit on line but okay..and then heís like you are security right? What do you do? And I said nope Iím just some random person who grabbed a uniform and decided to sit behind a desk to kill time during my dayÖand he left.

Mind games, mind games mind games! Itís like youíre either into meÖor your not and sure the last three days of mind games were fun but now Iím bored and as I go on with this post Iím over itÖBut I still want opinions because knowing me.

Does he seem into me, or is it just one of those things just ignore it and move on? Iím starting to think he may have a girlfriend and enjoys the simple attention he getís from me? Or maybe heís gay? Or maybe I just need more patience to see where this goes and if it goes somewhere GREAT if notÖhis loss? I donít know itís just weird I normally donít get the mind gaming bull**** from people so now when Iím going through it Iím like huh?! Because Iím usually straight up forward and wtf but I canít even get this guy to tell me his name right awayÖ

Wow I think Iím just realized Iím wasting my timeÖwell not really because itís only a work thing and when I go home I do my own thing and heís not really there until I wake up the next morning and go will I see him and get huge butterflies when I see him. Okay Iím going to shut up now, but im-put ladies, because the men just arenít doing it for me anymore and my girlfriends donít really want to hear anymore about this green shirt guy! haha
MiZTaCCen is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-20-2011, 01:44 PM   #2  
Senior Member
 
Shytowngal's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Midwest
Posts: 745

S/C/G: 195.5/130/120

Height: 5' 6"

Default

He sounds like kind of a jerk to be honest. He brags about his job, how much money he makes, that he's pretty, nice... I also feel like he is trying to make you feel like you are lower than him because he told you he makes more $ than you and calls you "security girl."

It also sounds like he stops by to talk all about himself. If a guy likes you he will: Ask you a lot of questions about yourself, compliment you, ask for your phone number, and/or ask you out. If he doesn't do these things, he probably isn't interested in you romantically.

Last edited by Shytowngal; 01-20-2011 at 01:44 PM.
Shytowngal is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-20-2011, 02:30 PM   #3  
This is not a test.
 
Iconised Ghost's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: New Zealand
Posts: 3,409

S/C/G: 187/132/127.8

Height: 5'5''/165cm

Default

Total nerds dont talk to girls :P kidding....

but it does sound like hes just spurting out random stuff to try and lead you on. Sounds very attention seeking to me too. Personally that does nothing for me, but if you're into that...
Iconised Ghost is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-20-2011, 02:52 PM   #4  
Soul Cyster
 
beerab's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: California
Posts: 4,487

S/C/G: 235/seeticker/135

Height: 5'3"

Default

You asked his name and he wouldn't tell you?

He has already pointed out he makes more than you?

He called you the security girl?

Yeah sounds like he would be the kind of guy to treat a girl like crap in a relationship and constantly remind them how superior he is AND that the girl who is with him is lucky to have him and will never get better than him, etc.

I wouldn't waste my time.
beerab is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-20-2011, 02:56 PM   #5  
Senior Member
 
XLMuffnTop's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Lone Star State
Posts: 939

S/C/G: 252/see ticker/199

Height: 5'7"

Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Shytowngal View Post
He sounds like kind of a jerk to be honest. He brags about his job, how much money he makes, that he's pretty, nice... I also feel like he is trying to make you feel like you are lower than him because he told you he makes more $ than you and calls you "security girl."

It also sounds like he stops by to talk all about himself. If a guy likes you he will: Ask you a lot of questions about yourself, compliment you, ask for your phone number, and/or ask you out. If he doesn't do these things, he probably isn't interested in you romantically.
I agree with this. ^^

When I read the first negative comment about money I thought "WTF?" but kept reading. Nothing after that gave me the impression that this is a remotely appealing person. Honestly, with an attitude like that, I'd be embarassed to take him around my family.
XLMuffnTop is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-20-2011, 03:07 PM   #6  
CanadianVeggie
 
L R K's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Canada
Posts: 2,202

S/C/G: 207.7/207.7/150

Height: 5'6"

Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Shytowngal View Post
He sounds like kind of a jerk to be honest. He brags about his job, how much money he makes, that he's pretty, nice... I also feel like he is trying to make you feel like you are lower than him because he told you he makes more $ than you and calls you "security girl."

It also sounds like he stops by to talk all about himself. If a guy likes you he will: Ask you a lot of questions about yourself, compliment you, ask for your phone number, and/or ask you out. If he doesn't do these things, he probably isn't interested in you romantically.
^ I would definitely listen to Shytowngal, she put it perfectly - and if I were you I would move on...
L R K is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-20-2011, 03:18 PM   #7  
Lifes a Journey
Thread Starter
 
MiZTaCCen's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Canada
Posts: 1,707

S/C/G: 195/Ticker/170

Height: 5'5

Default

a lot of guys out here though brag about their money though it's that province where 90% of the people come out here to make a **** load of money because that's what this province does with the oil field and all. But I totally see your points and this is why having girls input is good because sometimes we see things far more clearly then guys.

Totally right, waste of time! Thanks guys!
MiZTaCCen is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-20-2011, 11:42 PM   #8  
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: Washington, DC
Posts: 133

S/C/G: 200/200/130

Height: 5'7"

Default

I'm going to play devil's advocate here...he may just be flirting with you. Teasing if you will. I know that may sound weird but its one comment in particular that makes me think this: He said he was too nice and good looking to work for that company-you only challenged the fact that he was nice. Hence you agreed he was good looking. Depending on how he said it, his comment of "oooh the security girl likes me!" could be a little light hearted teasing. Also...he could just be flirting and teasing with the name thing. Thinking its mysterious and fun. Who knows?

I'm not saying waste your time on him if you're over it...and maybe you are. But what I'm saying is-he sounds like he is flirting with you. Perhaps not saying the most charming things but he's human. Maybe he's doing it because he really likes you. Maybe he's doing it because he likes the attention. But don't you like the attention you're getting from him too?

Sometimes it isn't what is said that means anything. It's how it is said that makes all the difference.

I feel you on the dating thing. It is brutal and guys are so freaking hard to read! Life would be so much easier if people would just say what they were thinking! (I like you...would you like to go out sometime?)
wibblewobble is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-21-2011, 12:02 AM   #9  
Working it out!
 
Krizstyling's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: NJ
Posts: 862

S/C/G: 219/ticker/135

Height: 5'4'

Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Shytowngal View Post
He sounds like kind of a jerk to be honest. He brags about his job, how much money he makes, that he's pretty, nice... I also feel like he is trying to make you feel like you are lower than him because he told you he makes more $ than you and calls you "security girl."

It also sounds like he stops by to talk all about himself. If a guy likes you he will: Ask you a lot of questions about yourself, compliment you, ask for your phone number, and/or ask you out. If he doesn't do these things, he probably isn't interested in you romantically.
Agree with this as well!

I've dealt with a ton of guys (Dating not sex! LOL) and seriously...when a guy is into you, you'll know. Don't even waste your time thinking about him. Although I also know from experience that's easier said then done.

Guys like this like attention and he may even come around to hanging out with you and stuff but it won't ever amount to more because he is a jerk who would probably rather spend hours on end in front of his tv playing games online with people he doesn't know all over the world than go out on a REAL date.

Keep it moving. Next time he comes to your desk, tell him you're really swamped and then turn away and act like you have something really important going on, even if you don't. Make him feel like a fool and guarantee next time he comes up to you he'll probably be wayyy nicer and not such a jerk. But, it's already too late.

Keep us updated!!! Dating is hard but can totally be fun and worth it in the end. =) I know I found my prince charming and everyone deserves one!
Krizstyling is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-21-2011, 12:33 AM   #10  
Le geek, c'est chic
 
Nola Celeste's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Metairie, LA
Posts: 1,213

S/C/G: 232/see ticker/150ish

Height: 5'2" and change

Default

He sounds hard to read. Oddly enough, that's the kind of guy I usually go for and what helped make my husband so very attractive to me, so I totally get it.

I say enjoy the banter for what it is--some repartee that makes your day and his a bit livelier. It doesn't have to move forward, it doesn't have to go backward, it can just be what it is: that cute-as-**** guy likes to joke around and maybe flirt. Sometimes it's fun to have a little of that in your life.

Some of his jokes could seem a little jerkish in print, but a lot depends on the tone in which it's said. Doesn't sound like a bad guy to me, just one with a sardonic sense of humor and a slightly, but tolerably high opinion of his own wit.

You stuck your neck out a little already by asking him his name. Now it's his turn to show interest. If he does, excellent--could be fun on a date. If he doesn't, you're out absolutely nothing from any of the time you've spent having some verbal back-and-forth with him and you've still enjoyed the casual flirtation. Win/win for you!
Nola Celeste is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-21-2011, 12:53 AM   #11  
Senior Member
 
fromthebox's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Santa Barbara, CA
Posts: 416

S/C/G: 189/138.0/130

Height: 5'6"

Default

What nola said. Even jerks can be fun to flirt with, as long as they're not hurting you with words. Also, not all guys are as smooth as they seem/ they're looks imply. How many awkwardly social but quite pretty women do you know? I know several.
fromthebox is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-21-2011, 01:03 AM   #12  
Junior Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2010
Posts: 4

S/C/G: 265/265/170

Height: 5'7

Default

My friend just texted me some amazing advice: "Remember that no one will love you as much as you can love yourself, you're beautiful." I can't stress enough that once we accept that about ourselves, the rest seems to just fall into place. Men, especially!
GracieMc21 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-21-2011, 01:09 AM   #13  
Senior Member
 
Kristen81985's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Pennsylvania
Posts: 163

S/C/G: 156/ticker/120

Height: 5'4

Default

I think he's a little full of himself, but its his way of trying to get attention. He wants you to want him it seems like. The way you describe him makes me feel like he talks this way to a lot of girls... and you're probably right that he probably has a girlfriend. He seems like the kind of guy to just get as many girls as he can to be attracted to him, and once he does... see ya! He got what he wanted.

But thats just my opinion.
Kristen81985 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-21-2011, 01:39 AM   #14  
Senior Member
 
KawaiiCandie's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Japan
Posts: 973

S/C/G: 190/*see ticker*/130

Height: 5'4"

Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Iconised Ghost View Post
Total nerds dont talk to girls :P kidding....

but it does sound like hes just spurting out random stuff to try and lead you on. Sounds very attention seeking to me too. Personally that does nothing for me, but if you're into that...
haha, i was thinking that too when i read that. i agree that he sounds like possible trouble though.
KawaiiCandie is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-21-2011, 03:04 AM   #15  
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Alaska
Posts: 122

Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Nola Celeste View Post
He sounds hard to read. Oddly enough, that's the kind of guy I usually go for and what helped make my husband so very attractive to me, so I totally get it.

I say enjoy the banter for what it is--some repartee that makes your day and his a bit livelier. It doesn't have to move forward, it doesn't have to go backward, it can just be what it is: that cute-as-**** guy likes to joke around and maybe flirt. Sometimes it's fun to have a little of that in your life.

Some of his jokes could seem a little jerkish in print, but a lot depends on the tone in which it's said. Doesn't sound like a bad guy to me, just one with a sardonic sense of humor and a slightly, but tolerably high opinion of his own wit.

You stuck your neck out a little already by asking him his name. Now it's his turn to show interest. If he does, excellent--could be fun on a date. If he doesn't, you're out absolutely nothing from any of the time you've spent having some verbal back-and-forth with him and you've still enjoyed the casual flirtation. Win/win for you!
This was pretty much exactly what I was going to say...(Nola, you're so sexy *grins*)...

So, I'll echo the idea that if you're enjoying the interactions, you might as well get a little enjoyment out of it until either he makes his intentions/thoughts (in either direction, interested or not) a little clearer, or you lose interest on your own.

Until something more serious develops with someone else, why not just enjoy it for what it is? As long as no harm/deceit is occurring to anyone as a result, I don't see the problem.
ArcticFrogs is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Related Topics
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
IP Daily Chat - Wed. 19 Jan. 2011 EatAnts Ideal Protein Diet 140 01-20-2011 07:15 PM
Aussie Chicks 2008 - Take II pacman12 Support Groups 589 10-13-2008 07:34 AM
It's the Labor Day Losers! Punkinseed Weight Loss Support 554 09-02-2003 06:07 PM
Doing Our Own Thing #6 SEMO General Diet Plans and Questions 266 11-30-2002 12:22 PM


Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off



All times are GMT -4. The time now is 04:22 AM.


We are a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for us to earn fees by linking to Amazon.com and affiliated sites.
Copyright © 2018 MH Sub I, LLC dba Internet Brands. All rights reserved. Use of this site indicates your consent to the Terms of Use.