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Old 08-16-2010, 01:53 AM   #1  
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Default Feel like giving up

I'm starting to think that I will always be overweight. I told my sister and mom that I give up, its not going to work so why should I continue to torture myself with never feeling happy because it just isnt working. I've been struglling to lose these 15 pounds since Jan. and I've lost only like 8. I know my body is more toned and define and my stomach is almost gone but it just isn't working anymore. I can't go to the gym anymore for a month and classes are starting next week so my motivatin is really dropping. My wedding is next summer and the time is ticking away. I've considered puking every meal I eat (actually been considering it for some time now) but after some research I think the effects of doing it has me scared away for now.

Just had to let my frustrations out... Thanks for listining..
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Old 08-16-2010, 03:33 AM   #2  
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Don't give up! I thought about giving up a lot of times, just getting discouraged by things not happening my way. But then you're just gonna hate yourself if you give up now and end up at an even higher weight, right? Your wedding next summer should be a motivational factor for you!!

Don't give up and keep trying! Everyone's here to help you out =)
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Old 08-16-2010, 05:09 AM   #3  
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Hey wonderwoman88, I know, everyone will say the same thing, but don't give up! If whatever you're doing isn't working for you, try something else. I know it's frustrating at the beginning, and I personally find the first few weeks of being "on plan" (though I like to actually think of this as changing my life rather than a diet) are the hardest!

There are so many of us around here to help out with encouragement and advice. I know it seems hard. I think everyone wants to give up sometimes, but I guess you have to learn to see it as something that you can't give up because it's just how you are living now!
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Old 08-16-2010, 09:09 AM   #4  
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Hey Wonderwoman,

New here today and was juts looking around and saw your post and I know exactly how you feel. My wedding is next September and I cannot bear to think of how the photos will look if I still weigh what I do now. I went on a diet and exercise kick and lost 5kg and then put it back on and I've been trying for the last 2 weeks and I've lost 1lb! 1 lousy pound! And for that I went walking, up hills I might add, and it's just so hard. I've 100lb to lose and it just seems like it'll never happen. But, I've joined this and I'm hoping it'll help to be able to talk to other people in the same sort of situation as me. Maybe we can help each other out a bit? And if it helps, just looking at your start weight and current weight, it does look like you're well on your way.

Thanks for listening
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Old 08-16-2010, 09:19 AM   #5  
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Hi Wonderwoman,
I've been on SO many diets in the past and always always ALWAYS I've given up for the same reason you're stating now: I feel like it's impossible. But then I found 3FC, read SO many stories from inspirational women (and men!) who have battled and worked and sweated and dedicated themselves to losing weight and I've realised it's NOT IMPOSSIBLE.
I've only lost 16 pounds so far, but I've never managed to lose so much weight in one go before and I KNOW it's because of this website.
So talk to people, read the stories of people who have reached Goal, people who have attained Non Scale Victories or Mini-Goals and other people who are still fighting to reach their Goal. Everyone has their own stor yand you have to rmember that you're NOT ALONE and it's NOT IMPOSSIBLE.
Take it one day at a time, one pound at a time and you'll be fine. Just please don't give up!

Good luck!
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Old 08-16-2010, 12:03 PM   #6  
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First of all I think we can all relate in one way or another but instead of doing what is easy for once take the harder way out! Its too easy to give up. What has helped me on this journey most is trying to live healthier period! Try to focus on being a healthier person period. Challenge yourself. We all have the power to lose weight but YOU have to want it! Its not going to happen over night and you will have to fight for it. At this point the choice is yours because you have more than enough time to make it to goal if you start right now and stick to your plan and let it work for you. Good luck.

Do you mind sharing your plan with us? What are you eating and how often are you working out? Im sure we could give you tips?
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Old 08-16-2010, 01:02 PM   #7  
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Everyone has already given great advice, but I'll add in a little more. First of all, don't look at your 8 pound loss as a failure! That's success, right there. Imagine if you hadn't been trying to lose, you might have even gained weight. Then it would seem even more daunting to have to lose the weight. Secondly, don't think about all of the weight you have to lose and don't think about the timeline. Focus on little goals, like how close you are to Onederland! Take that small goal and focus on it everyday, and once you achieve it, make a new small goal.

And if things aren't working anymore, it's time to shake things up! Your plan shouldn't be making you unhappy, because this is something you want to live. And about the gym thing, don't let yourself use that as an excuse, there are a lot of workouts you can do at home. I highly recommend the Couch to 5K program.
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Old 08-16-2010, 01:29 PM   #8  
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Everybody has already said what I would say. Don't give up... you can do it! But I do want to add something to Alyssa's post above mine, about at-home programs. I HIGHLY recommend the 30 Day Shred from Jillian Michaels. It literally has changed my life. Try it, seriously... I think it'll really help you. (and it's only 20 minutes so it's great for people who have classes like you and me)
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Old 08-16-2010, 01:30 PM   #9  
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If you are going to give anything up, give up the wedding deadline. Give yourself permission to just have as stress free a wedding as possible, and give yourself permission to stop making yourself nuts over this arbitrary deadline you set.

The wedding day isn't the marriage. You expect that to last a lot longer than the day, right?

Your body is supposed to last you all your life too.

Quote:
I've been struglling to lose these 15 pounds since Jan. and I've lost only like 8. I know my body is more toned and define and my stomach is almost gone but it just isn't working anymore.
Um... it IS working. You are losing weight. You are more toned and defined.

The only "problem" I see is that you are upset that it isn't happening at the speed you wanted to meet this wedding deadline.

This is a healing process. It happens as it happens. You can't rush healing.

It's like getting mad a broken leg won't heal in a week in time for the roller skating party on the weekend.

Having been seriously overweight is a health problem -- with nutrition, being sedantary, maybe other issues like hypothyroid. Getting mad that your healing isn't happening in time for the wedding makes no sense.

It is just going to take what it takes, and don't let the rest of your life stop because of it. Enjoy the wedding! Have a great time!

Try to be kinder to yourself.

GL!
A.

Last edited by astrophe; 08-16-2010 at 01:33 PM.
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Old 08-16-2010, 01:48 PM   #10  
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Don't give up! You're losing weight, maybe not as fast as you hoped, but you're still losing. If you keep on the same path (1 pound a month), you'll be down another 12 pounds in one year! If you don't, you may be up 20lbs, or who knows?

Also, if you add exercise, and maybe even re-evalutate your eating plans you could even be down twice that ammount. What is your current plan?

PS: don't turn to bulimia, you are right that the side effects are terrible and it could ruin your metabolism forever, making it impossible for you to lose the healthy way later on.
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Old 09-22-2010, 12:28 AM   #11  
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Hey everyone! I'm sorry I just got around to reading all this. Thak you all very much for your support and encouragement. I was at a low point when I wrote that and I think right now I'm slowly getting myself back together.

Working out is harder now. WHen I get home all I want to do is sleep, which I can't do because of all the assignments I have... But I think once I get everything in my life back to normal (past couple of months have been extremly hectic) I will be able to go to the gym once again and if not that at least start working out at home.

I started the lemonade diet yesterday and so far so good. Hopefully this will help me move forward.

Thanks again everyone!!!!
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Old 09-22-2010, 12:37 AM   #12  
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I already responded to your post on the lemonade diet itself. But have you ever considered that maybe the reason you "fail" at diets is that they are overly restrictive?

Our bodies are amazing at trying to keep us alive. That's why being too restrictive with our diet can result in slowed down losses or binges...your body literally starts flooding you with signals that "I'm starving!" and slows your body processes down to keep your vital functions running.

Have you ever tried a more moderate program of 1500 or so calories of healthy, whole food with a good amount of activity? Such a plan fuels your body to keep on living, while helping you slim down to a healthier weight (but without making you feel deprived or causing your body to go into chaos). A more moderate approach might be easier for you to stick to, meaning your changes will stick.

It definitely IS possible for you to lose weight! There is tons of evidence all around you here. But you may be unintentionally sabotaging yourself with the methods you're choosing.

Just my 2 cents.
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Old 09-22-2010, 01:00 AM   #13  
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Hey Wondy, I just wanted to second mandalinn82's suggestion of thinking about using a moderate 1500 cal diet. I also wanted to add, though, that that diet should be filled with (mostly wholesome) food that you can actually enjoy eating. As you know, losing weight takes time, and you need to have a plan that you not only can stick to, but can be happy eating.

You mentioned that you are at school now, I know how hard that can be on your eating habits. Are you using a meal plan? Or are you buying and preparing your own foods? If its a meal plan, maybe you could tell us what sort of offerings your school has and we could help you figure out how to wring tasty, healthy meals out of your school cafeteria. If you are preparing your own food, what sort of stores are around and where do you shop now? I know for me, as a busy grad student, Trader joe's has been a big help with really tasty, healthy simi-prepared food that I can make quickly. You might be able to find things like that where you shop.

I know it can seems so big, but I know for me, sitting down and coming up with a long term plan made it seem so much less overwhelming.
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