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Old 06-30-2010, 08:54 AM   #1  
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Gotta get this out before I explode...Be forewarned - it's gonna be LONG...

Ever get sick and tired of being taken advantage of? My husband and I are not selfish people. We tend to not say no to requests made by friends and family. Well, by anyone. Someone needs help mowing the yard? We're there. Need to borrow our trailer? Sure - just bring it back. We don't get a thank you, the trailer doesn't get returned until we have to go pick it up. Family member needs $20 'til payday? Sure. We never see it again. For nearly THREE YEARS My brother-in-law came over every single night and ate dinner with us. I never complained - I mean, it was fine because we'd just be tossing leftovers if he didn't eat anyway. Did he EVER say thanks? No. Never.

My husband's dad lives about 10 minutes from us, and "expects" my husband to spend Friday and Saturday nights at his house every other weekend when he's home, drinking and partying with them. My husband does it. Let me mention this isn't even his real dad - it's his EX step-dad, but he raised him, so my husband loves him all the same. It's his little brother's REAL dad. The little brother won't go over there, and my husband hears about it. It's MY HUSBAND who gets an earful if little brother doesn't go - it's HIS responsibility to make this 24 year old kid see his dad. And heaven forbid if my husband skips a weekend, like he did this past weekend because we had other things to do. No, every other weekend belongs to his father or else.

And now, WE need help. We never go on trips or anything during the year really. Just once a year for vacation for our anniversary. This year we're not going too far, but can't take our dogs with us to the hotel. For WEEKS now his little brother has been agreeing to take the Chihuahua to his house (he lives with his mom) to care for since he can't be in a cage to be boarded at the vet's office. He also agreed to come take care of the big dog that stays in the backyard - just food and water. Our other little dog will stay at the vet's office because he basically doesn't like to deal with her - she's higher maintenance.

So we're moving along toward vacation, happy and excited. We leave Thursday (tomorrow). Everything is worked out.

Wrong.

The brother calls last night and says hey, here's the deal...I told some guys I'd play in a softball tournament with them out of town over the weekend so I'll be gone all day Saturday. Last time he did this he had to stay overnight too when they won some games. And his mom won't watch the dog, and the dogs have to be fed and watered, and the Chi will need to go out.

So now we're screwed. We can't count on the family we have locally to do ANYTHING for us. We stopped asking his sister a long time ago when she agreed to come feed the dogs for us and didn't (the bag of food she was supposed to feed them was brand new - and unopened when we returned).

Today I'm calling my dad and sister (in another town) and BEGGING one of them to come house-sit for us 'til Sunday and take care of the dogs. If they won't, I'm probably going to come unglued.

I think we need to become more selfish. Not in a bad way - but we should reserve the right to say NO to people because we just don't want to do it, too. We have things to do sometimes and put them off for others, but when we need a LITTLE BIT of help (which we NEVER ask for), we're told no, or the person backs out or takes advantage of us, or whatever.

Needed to get all that out before I started a BIG fight with the husband, or a customer here at work today....sorry...

: devil:
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Old 06-30-2010, 09:39 AM   #2  
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Sorry that you have a family of such self absorbed people. I hope you will still be able to go on your vacation. I have no words of wisdom for you , other than to learn to say NO!!!
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Old 06-30-2010, 09:54 AM   #3  
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My husband is having his own horrible day today, but soon we're having a "just say no" discussion for sure!
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Old 06-30-2010, 09:59 AM   #4  
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How awful of your family!

I don't know if I can offer any good advice on the dealing with your family front, but if you're side of the family can't help out you might want to try calling your vet's office to see if one of the techs can house-sit or at least come and let the dogs out?

Good luck, and I hope you have a great vacation. It sounds like you deserve it!
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Old 06-30-2010, 10:19 AM   #5  
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Yeah...no techs at our vet's office. Just the one guy. That'd be nice, though...
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