anyone else ever feel this way? - 3 Fat Chicks on a Diet Weight Loss Community


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Old 03-10-2010, 03:54 PM   #1  
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Default anyone else ever feel this way?

i know no one is perfect, but sometimes when i'm "without clothes" around my bf .. i feel super self conscious! i'm not sure what to do about it. i've never told him i feel self conscious but i'm always wondering if he's noticing stretch marks, scars, you name it! i'm not quite at goal, but super close. where is all my confidence? lol. any advice for biting the bullet and getting over it?
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Old 03-10-2010, 04:07 PM   #2  
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Hum. I definitely feel that way as well. I've got a metric crap tonne of body image issues, but... when it comes right down to it, I have to remind myself that my boy has seen me (at higher weights, too!), he knows what I look like, and he loves me one way or the other.

So maybe he sees your stretch marks. So what? You look like a completely gorgeous lady, and I can't see him deciding he's no longer attracted to you because of a slight skin discolouration... which will fade more and more as time goes on anyhow...!

Don't read this if you're oversensitive to TMI:
My best parallel rationale ever was an ex boyfriend of mine who absolutely REFUSED to change in the same room as me if there was a chance that I would see *ahem* HIM... er.... unexcited.
And all I could think was how absolutely SILLY he was being! People are self-conscious about all sorts of things, and usually their partners have no idea WHY they're self-conscious over it!

And as we're on the topic.... The first 30 seconds here have always made me quite happy:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c15ohjNzYUM

"I happen to have a very high regard for your wobbly bits. "
Awwwwwww.

Last edited by Jelbb; 03-10-2010 at 04:08 PM.
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Old 03-10-2010, 04:16 PM   #3  
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You know guys at this age are just so excited to have gotten a girl naked they don't even notice.
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Old 03-10-2010, 04:22 PM   #4  
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I’ve always felt the same way. But the guy I’m dating now has almost cured me…he compliments me a lot and is very detailed (he’s willing to name everything he likes about me and why…not just say, “You look fine.”). I’m starting to believe him when he tells me he thinks I’m sexy…and starting to be able to see some of the things he sees.

No one will ever notice your “flaws” as much as you do. Think about it…when you see your boyfriend “without clothes”…are you noticing the good stuff or the bad? I’m sure he has flaws too, but you most likely notice all the attractive things, right? It’s the same vice versa. Plus, guys are visual…but sort of specifically so. I honestly don’t think guys are programmed to notice stretch marks…they’re more likely to be paying attention to other things!

One thing that helped me? I stopped hiding under the covers. I stopped refusing to do certain things because of the way they’d make me look. I let the lights stay on (once in a blue moon). And it’s not that bad! Once I got completely naked and realized that he was still just as attracted to me if not more, it really helped.

You’re very beautiful and I’m sure your boyfriend counts his lucky stars that you’re willing to go “without clothes” in front of him!
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Old 03-10-2010, 04:35 PM   #5  
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aww thanks you guys are super sweet! i try to keep it in my mind that he's just happy i'm naked, but you know how it is! ugh especially when he's like "lets keep the lights on" .. a little part of me dies! LOL
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Old 03-10-2010, 04:45 PM   #6  
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I'm really self conscious when I'm with my boyfriend...but he's seen me at all different weights and still loves me for who I am.
Like what others have said, he's just happy to see you naked, he's not looking at your "flaws"
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Old 03-10-2010, 05:07 PM   #7  
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Hmm, I've never been in a LT relationship, but I have been naked in front of men before, and I have to say I recognize the feeling, but I can't say I fully KNOW the feeling.
I hope that made sense.
If I know a guy is completely into me, almost all of my walls come down. I have a sense of "They know what they got themselves into, so it's illogical to make the assumption that they are not attracted to my 'wobbly bits'." (I LOVE those movies!)
And if they aren't, well, what the **** am I doing with the guy?
That's just how I see things.

It did take me a while to work up to that point though.
I can be pretty spur of the moment occasionally and the more often that has occurred as I've gotten older, I've become more and more comfortable with my body.
Examples?
I tanned naked in a college parking lot (in my truck bed). CRAZZZYYYY.
I went swimming with my two best friends, one of which is a guy and never seen me without a hoodie/slightly baggie clothes, in nothing more than my best bra and knickers at 220 odd lbs.
I went to a public beach and said screw it, I feel like wearing a "bikini" top, so I took off my shirt and tanned in my bra.

I feel like that could be extreme for some people, but it's all about taking risks that let you feel more comfortable with your body and who you are. Take it slow if you have to, but if you do take those risks and have a great experience, then it can help build your confidence.

I am MUCH more self conscious when I'm wearing clothes (odd, right?) So I do things to make myself feel more comfortable in them. I buy nice clothes, clothes that make me feel good, clothes that are comfortable, but I still have my "screw it" days.

I am by no means a social butterfly; I never have been. But I am way my comfortable with who I am than I ever used to be, and that's something I've had to work on by myself. I don't regret a single thing I've ever done to get this far.

I also think that everyone has their self conscious days, so sometimes it's not worth it to kick yourself in the teeth about it.
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Old 03-10-2010, 05:17 PM   #8  
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Quote:
Originally Posted by aliquot View Post
You know guys at this age are just so excited to have gotten a girl naked they don't even notice.
I think at any age

Anyone ever see "6 Days, 7 Nights" with Harrison Ford? Anne Heche is a magazine editor, and he points to an article in her magazine that says "10 ways to light his fire" and he goes you know how to get a man excited? SHOW UP - we're easy...

I always remember that
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Old 03-10-2010, 05:25 PM   #9  
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Stella - LOL probably. I've just never asked an older guy about that. Perhaps we should conduct a poll.
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Old 03-10-2010, 08:30 PM   #10  
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Think about this, when you're doing any sort of naked deed with your boyfriend, do you even notice any little thing about his body? Chances are he's way to caught up in the moment to pay attention to much! haha

Last edited by garstar; 03-10-2010 at 08:30 PM.
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Old 03-10-2010, 09:06 PM   #11  
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"wobbly bits" - love it!

birdtostone .. i can't believe you tanned naked! that takes guts girl!

you guys are all totally right, i mean its not like i notice all of his flaws! i think its just a girl thing. we all feel self conscious once in awhile!
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Old 04-04-2010, 11:45 PM   #12  
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I have been with my boyfriend for almost 2 years and I still hate him seeing me naked. Even when I was at my smallest I hated it with my boyfriend at the time. I guess its a girl thing!
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Old 04-04-2010, 11:57 PM   #13  
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I've been a bit self conscious with my bf, but I've tried to never let it get to me. When were together I sleep naked (but I have to be in pjs if I'm alone!) and I don't have a problem wandering around his apartment in the buff. I have a roommate so wandering around my place naked is a bit more difficult! However, I am sure to suck in my tummy and stand up straight when I'm naked. So I'm not entirely comfortable, but I try.

I know my bf loves me, and because of that he makes me feel comfortable. I've finally come to the realization that an issues I have with my body are all in MY head. But part of that comfort comes with 3.5 years together. I don't know how I'd be in a new relationship.
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Old 04-05-2010, 12:39 AM   #14  
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Yeah, I feel self conscious around my BF of 7 years alot and he gets mad at me for it. What really made me decide to lose weight for good was when he said to me "I love you the way you are, but don't ***** about something you can change".
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Old 04-05-2010, 03:02 AM   #15  
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hmmmm... I probably wont be of much use as I am completely UN-self conscious being naked around my boyfriend. In fact I LOVE being naked... I get around in the birthday suit around the house all the time

Try it... just get your kit off (when you're alone at first) and just get used to how you are when you're naked. Its amazing what a nice feeling it is and you know what? You actually look better naked. Clothes tend to create lumps, bumbs, muffin tops, bellys that bulge over pants, rolls that hang under bra bands and/or straps... when you're naked you dont have any of that.

My boyfriend and I will wander around the house naked together, sit around watch TV or play the computer... and we always have sex with the lights on

I guess the bottom line is unless you're comfortable just being naked by yourself and actually LIKE your body/self then you're never going to be comfortable with anyone else seeing you that way. Because you simply wont believe them.
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