My boyfriend is currently in Iraq, and when he was home 6 months ago, I was still at my highest. He's very fit (being a soldier, and all), and I just felt like a blob compared to him. I was always really self conscious to the point where I couldn't even enjoy "things" as much as I should have. I was always wondering about things like "can he see my tummy from that angle?" "Is my back rolling up?" "Am I squishing him?" He always tells me I look great and that I'm sexy and so on, I just wish I could believe it. It's such a frustrating condition because I know that it's in my head and that he means what he says, so why can't I get over it?
I hate "lights on" too. Not even just because he can see details, but I just think the ambiance is ugly for that particular activity. I don't mind it so much in the day time with the sunshine, but at night with the lights on feels icky to me.
I think/hope it'll be better when he gets home though. I'll hopefully be at goal weight and feel a lot better about my body (I already do). And, I've been walking around my apartment naked now that I live alone, and it truly has helped me feel more comfortable with being naked. Sounds silly, but it's true, lol.
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