I see his point about people who tan as not being a good role model for their kids. It's the same as people who eat junk food and binge drink and smoke as not being good role models for their kids, because their kids will most likely be obese, alcoholics, and smokers.
if you do anything that is unhealthy like that, your children will either think it's acceptable to do because you do it, or they'll be the opposite, or they'll resent you for it. Your actions do greatly impact your children.
It's not a guarantee that the kids will do ANYTHING though. My dad was an alcoholic for years, he and my mom smoked and drank, dropped out of high school, had their first child as teenagers. Pretty much everything bad you can think of.
I finished high school and college with an associate's and bachelor's degree, I don't drink at all, I'm healthy, happily married and have a steady full-time job as the editor of a newspaper.
Did my parents affect me? Yes. But the things they did in NO way guaranteed I'd turn out any one way or another.
Well I said that it can go either way. My grandfather smoked for years and as a result she hated it and got really upset with me when she found out I smoked (I've since quit). My fiance is the same way with his mother (who has since passed due to smoking-related disease). However, my ex from high school had two parents who smoked and so did he. My parents drink (they even have cocktail hour at their house) and I drink as well, as well with my siblings. So I think that's why it would be a good idea to instill good habits in yourself first and then when you have kids. Kids look up to their parents, and if they see them smoking or excessively tanning, or getting excessive plastic surgery, they might see that as acceptable. They could also be disgusted by it and learn to resent their parents... for example, look up Shauna Sand. She's an ex-Playboy model whose ex husband is Lorenzo Lamas, and they have two daughers (or three, I can't remember). Anyways, she's got these HUGE fake boobs, wears little tops and short skirts and lucite heels everywhere she goes around Los Angeles. And she obviously excessively tans. How is that going to affect her daughters?
I read somewhere that girls who grow up in a household where their mother is always dieting grow up to have eating disorders themselves.
And a psychologist would call you a resilient child. Most children growing up in that situation don't turn out that good. My fiance is one of those people.... his dad has paranoid schizophrenia, his mother couldn't be around, and his dad was frequently unemployed or working in factories. I don't think my fiance really knows how lucky he is that he turned out so great. It's a matter of being in a bad situation as a child and not letting it negatively affect your life.
Last edited by sunflowergirl68; 03-09-2010 at 04:51 PM.
example, look up Shauna Sand. She's an ex-Playboy model whose ex husband is Lorenzo Lamas, and they have two daughers (or three, I can't remember). Anyways, she's got these HUGE fake boobs, wears little tops and short skirts and lucite heels everywhere she goes around Los Angeles. And she obviously excessively tans. How is that going to affect her daughters?
While interesting, this represents an entire lifestyle, not a single choice to tan.
No one is going to argue that tanning is a healthy thing to do on a regular basis, but is a moderated risk that people take, like many other risks. And many factors influence a child's growth and development and resilience, and even parents who make less-than-perfect choices can raise perfectly healthy children (and arguably, no parent is perfect or does everything right).
OP, I'm glad that this was an out-of-character fight. It seemed like his reaction was out of proportion to what was going on.
Yeah but tanning is a part of that lifestyle. And why do people tan? To look better. There is no other benefit to tanning (other than some Vitamin D, which you can take in pill form) other than looking good.
Not to mention the cancer risk. My point is that tanning is an optional activity that can directly cause cancer, and even death. It's not a habit you want to ever expose to your kid. You're still not getting it.... IT CAUSES CANCER. Even if done in moderation. Would you smoke around your kids? Why would anyone want to expose their children to an activity that directly causes cancer? Fine, do it when you're young, whatever, but it's really not a good idea to do it when you have kids.
Maybe it's me, but since I've had cancer and I know how awful it is, I will never intentionally do something that will cause me to have it again, nor will i ever expose that to my future kids.
Would you smoke around your kids? Why would anyone want to expose their children to an activity that directly causes cancer?
I'm not meaning to be argumentative, but I think it's a little inaccurate to compare it to smoking. Smoking in front of your kids directly exposes them to carcinogens and increases their health risks for things like asthma, whether they ever smoke or not. It is a direct risk. If you tan, your child is not directly put at risk...they may be more likely at some point to also make the decision to tan, but YOU tanning does not increase THEIR cancer risk directly. So I see the comparison as sort of apples and oranges. It's directly causing harm to the child, vs not being a perfect role model.
I guess I should have been more clear... not smoking around your kids, but being a smoker in general. As in, smoking outside instead of inside and your child knowing that you smoke.
Or a better comparison might be eating junk food. But you get my point. If little girls want to wear Mommy's make-up and her high heels, whose to say she won't want to go with Mommy when Mommy goes to the tanning salon?
