angee, I'm really really sorry about everything that's going on at home. I know it's not really something I can understand, seeing as I'm not married...but I definitely know about having to deal with stress at home. My family is completely dysfunctional, always fighting....my parents honestly should have gotten a divorce over 10 years ago....I ALWAYS have to be the mediator...they expect it from me...I hate it. I always have to be the one who works hard and supports myself...My older sister gets everything handed to her....they pay for her school, her rent, her food, her insurance on her car that they gave her....I have to live at home because they can't afford to support me if I leave not that they support me now. I work my *** of in school and at my job, get straight As (while my sister gets ds and fs)...pay for my own food...pay for half of their food...don't have a car and even if I could manage to save for one (which I can't) they wouldn't pay for my insurance like they pay for hers...I can't move out without a car (that I'm finding impossible to save for)...and even if I had a car they spend so much on her that they wouldn't have any money left to pay for MY rent or MY school. I'm having to take classes at a community college instead of going to a university because no one will give me a loan because their credit is so absolutely destroyed...and I have to pay for school, even though they pay for hers...It just seems so completely unfair...and it's ALWAYS weighing on the back of my mind...I'm always stressed about money...how I'm going to keep supporting myself AND save for a car AND pay for classes AND buy groceries...I HATE being stuck in this stupid house because it's always stressing me out...the constant fighting and all the clutter (my parents don't throw ANYTHING away...so there is random crap all over the place, the house is NEVER clean)...
I guess what I'm trying to say is we do the best we can. I know that a lot of times when I get off plan, it's due to stress...and I'm good and telling when it's NOT due to stress (and holding myself accountable for it when I'm just being lazy)...and I definitely think you are too. Just do what you can...Everyone's journeys have ups and downs...and sometimes situations make it more difficult to lose then others...Try and hold yourself accountable and stick to plan as much as you can...and the days when you just cant take it anymore, go ahead and have that piece of cake...or those 4 slices of pizza. You might gain a little bit back, but you've already lost it once, so you know you can lose it again...Just try not to lose complete control, because you don't want to have to lose the whole 60 lbs again. 5 is nothing compared to 60.
Once again, I'm sorry about everything that's going on. I would imagine you're very scared and confused...I know divorce is a big thing...and it will be a big change in your life...and big changes are ALWAYS scary...but you'll get through it and you'll get past it and you'll be just fine. You can do anything, or make it through anything, if you set your mind to it.
Angee: I am so sorry to hear that you are going through this! Don't beat yourself up. You have been doing an amazing job. Everyone has times when life slows them down a bit, but it doesn't change the fact that your going the right direction--you just took a short detour. I am sending good vibes your way!
I definitely weighed in at 198.9 this morning...and I stayed on plan ALL DAY today...in fact, I'm about to go eat MORE food, because so far I've only had 15 points, and I'm supposed to get to at least 20 but no more then 25 points by the end of the day...which means I can have a piece of cake! WOOHOO!
I'm going to weigh in tomorrow and be all excited because I'm sure I'll have lost. I love that feeling.
Tomorrow is going to be a hard day though, because my little sister brings home cookie dough from her fundraiser...my mom bought 5 3lb tubs of cookie dough....and cookie dough is definitely a binge trigger for me. I could eat an entire one of those tubs in one sitting. I'm going to have to have steel will power for the next month or two until all the cookie dough is gone. I'm planning on stealing a tub or two and giving them away as christmas gifts (they won't notice and that's less in the house to tempt me)...lol
divine and paradoxx - thank you so much for the encouragement and understanding. this is why I love this forum. Man, I certainly beat myself up about it, but I'm finally just trying to forgive myself and just learn from it.
divine - congrats on your progress...you're doing fantastic!!! I'm so happy for you!
mateosmama - congrats and welcome to the thread!
....So guys, I did something yesterday I was VERY proud of! For the first time ever, I ran for TWO miles without stopping once!! I was so happy. Before yesterday, I had only ever managed a mile without stopping to breathe...but I just kept going and made it to 2. It was just 3 months ago that I couldn't hardly finish half a mile without collapasing. Yay!!
PS...weighing in tomorrow morning. I'm really REALLY nervous. If I don't see that 180-something, it won't be the end of the world...but it sure will feel like it. Ah...well, if I'm still at 190 - or God forbid, higher - I'll just try again next week. Scared face.
I'm back up to 198.0....but I'm not going to bother changing my ticker...I'll be back to 197 tomorrow...I'm pretty sure it has something to do with TOM, and it could be that I didn't get enough water yesterday...because I honestly don't think I drank ANY...but I'm not too stressed out about it. Now that I'm somewhat further away from 200, a 1 lb. gain isn't going to make me 200 again...
I think my big goal right now is to lose enough weight before Christmas that I don't gain enough to get back over 200...lol. I mean, of course I'm going to try not to gain, and I'd LOVE a loss...but I'd like a buffer, just in case. lol
I'd been stuck at 200-199 for over a month. Today the scale finally said 198! I really do love seeing that 1 at the beginning of my weight, but that 9 in the middle has got to go. I was losing very quickly at the beginning and now it's soooo slow!
Welp...official weekly weigh-in: 188! I'll take it. TOM is about to start, and I never weigh during that week...so I'll consider myself 188 for 2 whole weeks, and then we'll see where I land. I'm pretty excited about that 8!!
You all are doing so well and I just love ya all - so I very much look forward to seeing you in the 180s thread!
I'm going to be here forever!!! TOM and Christmas are a week away, so I might as well just set up camp here for at least the next week...Sigh...the 190's are kicking my butt.
Ughhhh... I LOVED hitting the 190's... like someone said above seeing that "1" in front just tickles me every time (hehe)... but now that I'm 3 weeks away from needing to meet my 8 month long goal of 189.... argh!!! Go DOWN!!
To top it off... my mom's Xmas cookie party the other night took me back up to 196. I don't want to change my ticker back yet, though, because 1 or 2 of those pounds will probably (HOPEFULLY?!?!) come off in a day or two after hydrating properly and getting back OP. God I hope.