Anyone else feel like they lost a huge part of themselves when they gained weight [or just never got to be themselves due to weight?] Cuz I feel that way...my sense of style that used to be quirky had to change somewhat due to lack of clothing styles in my size, and self consciousness, I became more introverted, and self conscious around people out of embarassment, and began constantly comparing myself to others, and just got sadder... I mean I know weight won't make or break a person, but it definetly affected me; what about you?
I feel that way. When I was smaller I felt so much better about myself. I was more outgoing. I felt pretty, but now I just feel like a big loser because I let myself get back in this shape. I lost that self confident part of me.
Yes, I totally understand this. Since I have lost weight I have found my self doing things without thinking twice about it whereas before I would really sit and think about them and decide not to do them because I didn't have the confidence or self-esteem to pull it off. For instance, styling my hair a certain way, dressing a certain way, being social and friendly....before, i was so self-conscious and thought everyone would think I was a poser or something.
Yeah, me too. I was fat my whole life since childhood and it only got worse. I was always outgoing and spunky (in the way that many overweight girls become, they have strong characters) but when I lost a lot of weight, my real personality was able to shine through a lot brighter. This is still an ongoing process for me.
Way more self conscious when I'm at a higher weight because I can't fit into any of the clothes that make me feel great and am left in my overweight rejects. Le sigh.
Absolutely! You know, I've heard a lot of really awesome, strong ladies remark that they would never let their weight stand in the way of them being themselves and that they would never lose themselves in their weight.
I had a different experience. When I lost weight, it was as though a weight (no pun intended) and I was just free of all of the crap I was carrying around since I was a kid. I stopped making so many damned excuses for myself to others, I stopped acting like anyone I met was so nice simply because they could look past my weight- like my weight was something that people had to "get over".
I also think the process of losing weight- of accomplishing something that was so empowering- really caused me to mature and grow up quite a bit. The experience itself was worth it to me.
Junebug, your post really rings true to my experience. Especially these two things:
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Originally Posted by junebug41
I stopped making so many damned excuses for myself to others, I stopped acting like anyone I met was so nice simply because they could look past my weight- like my weight was something that people had to "get over".
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Originally Posted by junebug41
I also think the process of losing weight- of accomplishing something that was so empowering- really caused me to mature and grow up quite a bit. The experience itself was worth it to me.
I don't think my actual personality changed as much as my sense of style did. It is hard to have a sense of style when you can't fit anything in your fav stores anymore and you can't exactly shop at Ashley Stewart. It is an ackward time. Since I never had anything to wear I didn't really want to go places expecially places where people knew as smaller. I also notice I don't necessarily want to visit friend who were jsut complimenting me on how good I was looking last time they saw me. Sure I am pretty confident kind of girl and we all have insecurities and weight is one of mine. Same personality just didn't see it as much I guess.
My personality is about the same, but what I'm willing to wear has changed dramatically. I feel comfortable in snug fitting clothes and LOVE the way I look in my workout clothes- I'm still not anywhere close to goal, but the workouts have made my whole body tighter so there isn't as much jiggle
I have always had the personality its the sense of style that i haven't, since i have always been overweight i haven't been able to shop at a lot of stores...hopefully that will change soon!
Honestly, as sad as this sounds... I always felt bad for the guys that would have to look at me. I hung out last summer at the beach with my husband's friends and their girl friends... and I was definitely the biggest one there. Two of the girls were in tiny little bikinis with killer bods... and then there was me. I felt bad for the guys that were there, like I was ruining the picture somehow. Bikini girls and then "the fat one". When I was laying in the sun with them, I tried to cover myself as much as possible so that I wouldn't ruin the view... how awful is that???
That was a MAJOR turning point for me. After that experience I knew I needed to change. I was near the ocean with friends and loved ones, and I couldn't even enjoy myself because I felt so bad about my appearance.
I think I'm going to have to say that I've changed and lost much of what I was before.
I have a really hard time just letting go and indulging now. Want to go out with friends? Fun, until I become ill seeing someone eating a plate of nachos and chugging beer. Girls night out for martini night? Right... except I'm not touching more than one because I don't have the calories for that. Football games? Great fun until people start wondering why you're not indulging in beer and eating burgers and keep asking if I feel well. And sleeping in? Surely not. I need to get to the gym.
I think I attract different types of friends now too and it's hard for me not to alienate old friends. I really have no interest in laying by the pool for endless hours ruining my skin. I'd be glad to go kayaking though and get a tan that way.
I agree that my weight gain has totally changed the "little voice" in the back of my head. At my lowest weight, I really walked around thinking I was awesome, but now I'm just totally down about how fat my face looks, or how tight my clothes fit. I miss the days of just putting on whatever and thinking I looked good. Now it's a challenge, with many, many adjustments during the day.
I also have found that I don't want to go out as much b/c I just don't feel great about how I look. Sometimes I just think about how much I would love to hide for months until I can drop weight. (Of course, I won't!!!)
Thanks for this topic: it's good to know I'm not alone with this!
Wow! Your post really made me think. I have been feeling so un-spirited the last few years, but I didn't attach it to my weight. As I think about it more, I realize that is it very attached to gaining 70 pounds. Thank you for your honesty. I just began to focus on weightloss about three weeks ago--this will help me stay motivated!
lost yourself?
This is still an ongoing process for me.
