Sound like whoever the idiot was that broke up w/ you by email probably had another choice, like the phone or in person, and took the easy way out. Your email actually gave an explaination...plus it's a long distance relationship which is very hard, but this was one of the major ways you communicated with each other. My mama always told me that this to shall pass. It always agravated me because it didn't seem like it ever would, but she's right. Please don't be down on yourself for taking this route. It sounds like you did the right thing. **hugs**
Oh no, Jelbb, sweetie, I am SO sorry to hear about this. I've never really been in a relationship, so I can't even imagine how you must be feeling... But I know it must be awful.
Some general things that I'd like to remind you of:
1. You are NOT slime. This was not an easy decision for you to make, and it's obvious that you did not make it lightly. You took a lot of time and put a LOT of consideration into it. You should not feel guilty about doing what you know in your heart to be best, and although you both will be hurting for a while, you did not set out to cause him pain.
2. More importantly than taking his feelings into consideration, it's clear that you thought long and hard about your OWN feelings, and I think that is so indispensably important! You have to take care of yourself, and I think it's a sign of very great maturity that you were able to weigh the situation with a fairly clear mind and recognize the solution that you think is best for you. Even if breaking up with him isn't necessarily what's going to make you happy right this moment, you still did it because you knew it was for the best, and would make you happier in the end. It takes an extremely strong woman to find the courage to do that.
3. UM, speaking of strength, do you even KNOW how strong you are?! I have mounds and mounds of admiration for you--you don't complain much, but we all know what a crazy-stressful life you have had lately (just your school workload alone would be enough to choke an elephant!), and it is truly inspiring that you're managing to tackle all of those things AND lose weight at the same time--you are like superwoman! I'm sure I am not the only one who has noticed.
4. Not only do you manage to do all of these amazing things, but you are also sooo kind and supportive of everyone on 3FC, always there willing to cheer someone up, or write crazy-long personal messages to everyone in a thread, just because that's the kind of genuinely sweet person you are. You are certainly one of the most valued and loved members on 3FC, and we all care about you very much and are here for you while you're going through this.
Yep. Hope I didn't get too personal, but I just thought those are some things you should keep in mind... It never hurts to hear a friendly voice when you're going through something tough. Hope you are feeling better soon, but make sure to take some time you let yourself heal! Maybe you're one of those people who can benefit from throwing yourself back into things and channeling all of your emotion into your weight loss, but personally I think I would want a few days just to wallow--and if that's what you want, NO ONE will blame you for it. Lots of <3, girly.
Oh sorry Jelbb! I don't see what other choice you had... you needed to talk NOW and he wasn't there for you. When you're an ocean apart and someone won't use the phone... what else is left but email?
You totally sound like me--you are worried about how hurt he will feel by the email--but he has totally been ignoring you, which based on your posts, is hurting you too. I honestly think there's no great way to break up. Sure there's ****tier ways than others but if someone broke up with me "the right way"--I'd still be a horrible awful mess. Break-ups just suck.
I am sorry he put you in that position! Because really, he did. You need to do what's right for you, and I totally understand feeling bad for it.. but this is YOUR life girl!! Don't waste it on someone who is too busy for you! You are FAR too hot to have some guy ignore you!
Thanks so much everyone. Everything sucks right now, and I really appreciate you all being here for me, even if I'm gonna be mopey and miserable right now, lol.
Do you ever feel like EVERYONE in your world is in a happy functional relationship, except for you, lol? (Unless of course, you are... ) Everyone I know is either engaged, talking about getting engaged, or getting married. I'm a bridesmaid in my cousin's wedding, the maid of honour at my mom and my brother's weddings, my friend just told me her and her bf are talking about getting engaged last night and she'll want me to be a bridesmaid.
I'm like Katherine Heigel in 27 dresses.
I feel ya. Long distance relationships are very difficult anyway. Five years ago (I only bring it up because I haven't dated since, so I don't have a more recent example) my ENGAGEMENT was broken over the phone (summer break from college, we were in different states). And then to add insult to injury, on my birthday and the day we were leaving the house to go to Michigan for my grandma's funeral, I got a letter in the mail about everything the guy thought was wrong with me and my family. This is an awful example because I'm still hurt and recovering from that relationship, but!!!!!!! I thank God every day that I didn't end up forever with someone so wrong for me. I know your decision was a hard one to make, but nobody knows you better than you, and obviously he was not the one for you.
It hurts now but itll get better. And you are NOT slime. Just the fact that you are worried abut his feelings shows that you are a good, considerate person!
I hope everything works out for you and that you can feel better sooner rather than later.
Do you ever feel like EVERYONE in your world is in a happy functional relationship, except for you, lol? (Unless of course, you are... )
Lol it really seems that way sometimes eh. BUT those people in happy relationships were also single at one time and probably stumbled across the future guy/girl at one point. It's quite comforting to me to see so many happy couples, it means its quite possible for everyone to find someone (or more than one!) out of the 6 billion people out there and be happy.
"Do you ever feel like EVERYONE in your world is in a happy functional relationship, except for you, lol? (Unless of course, you are... ) Everyone I know is either engaged, talking about getting engaged, or getting married."
Oh honey- I'm newly married and there are days I want to strangle my husband- I always look around at other married couples and I'm like- how on earth to they do it and how are they perfectly happy- ALL the time!
Every couple has their days- the guy is out there for you- the one where the good days will out weigh the bad and you'll look back on this as just another life step to get to him
sorry i'm late to come hug and make sad faces, i hope you're feeling a little better today. i know how it must have sucked to have to breakup via email but you kno, it's 2009, it wasn't the worst thing in the world.
I'm sorry for the intensity of emotions that you are going through right now... but every trouble that happens in our lives lead us to something that makes our life even more wonderful than it otherwise would have been. You've loved, been loved, and that's a wonderful thing in itself.
Do you ever feel like EVERYONE in your world is in a happy functional relationship, except for you, lol? (Unless of course, you are... )
First of all, I can TOTALLY relate to this feeling except on a somewhat different level - everyone in our crowd is married with kids, and we're the only holdouts. People look at us like we're aliens.
Also, there's an old saying that goes something like, "Every family looks great together, but only on a photograph." Appearances can be awfully deceiving.
Secondly, I'm so sorry that it had to come to this. Don't feel bad about the e-mail break-up. Did you really have any other choice - the man wasn't responding to any other method? Don't beat yourself up over it. I would take his lack of response as a sign that you did the right thing by choosing not to move to Ireland. After all, how would he react when you were actually over there and you two got into a disagreement? His actions were very telling. It seemed like he was trying to use the silent treatment to emotionally bribe you into changing your mind because of guilt. Good thing you're a smart cookie and saw past all of that!
I wouldn't give the guy more than a few days mope - it's not worth it. Go out there, buy yourself a new outfit and hit the town with the girls. Sure to make you feel better.
Y'know, the ends of relationships suck, but... I think I KNOW this relationship was ready to end simply through the fact that... I'm upset. But I'm FUNCTIONAL. I went to class today. I did an in-class writing assignment that my prof afterward deemed, "A very interesting point." I did the 30 Day Shred. I chatted with my housemate. I'm going to do some schoolwork this afternoon/evening.
The past two times I've broken up with guys/been broken up with, where the relationship was more than 9 months... I was a wreck. I didn't eat. I didn't sleep. I didn't do work. I didn't move. And I didn't stop crying. For WEEKS.
I think the fact that this relationship has been long-distance is going to make the end a lot easier. He wasn't a part of my day-to-day existence, at least not in more than txt-format, so... not that much will change.
In an attempt to make myself feel better, I checked out an old online dating profile, and as soon as I updated it, I started getting a handful of messages from guys. None of whom I'm really interested in, and I usually don't bother replying, it's just.. good affirmation that I won't be alone forever, lol.
Though I'm totally not ready to start dating in the next month(ish) at least, the one guy who messaged me who I thought was kinda cute... his name is Jesse. Dear lord. Jesse and Jessica. That's just wrong.
Edit:
Oooh. Just got an e-mail punch in the stomach from the now-ex. Slammed me for the e-mail breakup. Guilted me over having bought plane tickets to come see me. And told me that he'd fallen in love with me while I was there before. Something we never said to each other while we were going out. Ouch, ouch, ouch, ouch.
I'm sorry honey. I can say, I somewhat know how you feel. I left my love in Jamaica, and I know it's not easy. I will tell you, it does get easier in time. Time heals all wounds.
I'm sorry to hear about everything that you're going through right now. I was once in a long distance relationship (I was on the east coast he was on the west) and He only called when HE wanted to talk.He never thought about my feeling or such, and I get the feeling that this is what happened in your relationship?
And the guilt he is making you feel isn't deserved. He's only saying it because he took you for granted and now that your gone, he doesn't know what to you. I don't think he meant the "i love you" part, because HOW could he have fallen in love with you when he never text or called you?? I think he said it because he thought it would make you come back.
It WILL hurt, believe me I know all about it, but you are SO beautiful and you deserve SO MUCH more then that. And I hope that all those guys that are messaging you shows you how beautiful you are!!
Hope you are feeling better soon, but make sure to take some time you let yourself heal! Maybe you're one of those people who can benefit from throwing yourself back into things and channeling all of your emotion into your weight loss, but personally I think I would want a few days just to wallow--and if that's what you want, NO ONE will blame you for it. Lots of <3, girly.
Everything sucks right now, and I really appreciate you all being here for me, even if I'm gonna be mopey and miserable right now, lol. 
) Everyone I know is either engaged, talking about getting engaged, or getting married. I'm a bridesmaid in my cousin's wedding, the maid of honour at my mom and my brother's weddings, my friend just told me her and her bf are talking about getting engaged last night and she'll want me to be a bridesmaid.
