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Old 12-09-2008, 02:23 PM   #1  
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Default Oprah Fell off the Wagon...

And no, I'm not delighting in her failure...I'm just saying, she can afford home gyms and personal trainers and nutritionist and any dang thing else she wants and she still struggles. It makes her more human and makes me realize that this is difficult (no matter how much weight loss stuff you have access to) and what matters is that once you fall off, you have to get back on.

Oh sorry, just 'voicing' my train of thought...
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Old 12-09-2008, 02:23 PM   #2  
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its the keepin on that does it in the end, not how many times we fall x
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Old 12-09-2008, 02:33 PM   #3  
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Yep, even with all her money it is still a struggle. She's just like everybody else.
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Old 12-09-2008, 02:55 PM   #4  
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This is a bit of a glass half empty or half full scenario. She gained 40 lbs back, and she's kept 40 lbs off. Is she succeeding, or is she failing?

I think "on the wagon," and "off the wagon," implies that there is either perfection or failure, and nothing in between.

If you forgot to brush your teeth today, are you "off the wagon." If you didn't get good sleep last night (or for the last month) are you "off the wagon."

If we looked at sleep like we did weight control behaviors - oops I messed up I might as well stop sleeping altogether.


Life interferes, and perfection isn't nearly as important as every day doing the best you can, and not letting "not so hot" days keep you from improving.

With weight loss, so many people give up because they find themselves unable or unwilling to be perfect, however they define it. To blankety blank with perfection. It's taking me FOREVER to lose weight, because I'm failing alot more than I'm succeeding. No, I have to remind myself that isn't true, because if that were true, I would be backsliding, and I'm not - I'm just a hair's breadth better than treading water. I've been taking 100 steps forward and 99 steps back.

It doesn't "feel" like I'm succeeding, because I'm making nearly as many bad choices as good ones, but it doesn't make sense to say I've "failed" my way to a 60 lb loss - although in a very real sense it's true.

I don't think there are many people out there telling us that we can take 100 steps forward and 99 steps back - all the way to goal. Instead, if you imagine it as a stair case, when we start to back slide and trip on a few steps, we throw ourselves to the bottom and have to start over. At least taking 100 steps forward and 99 steps back, as long as I keep going I will eventually get to the top.

And I think with time and practice, the backsliding gets easier to limit. When I started all of this three years ago, it wasn't unusual for me to take 1000 steps forward and 999 back (or even occasionally 1001).

In some ways it's the reverse of what we generally see as the "normal" progression of weight loss (Perfection at the beginning, and constantly struggling to be as close to perfection as possible throughout). It's the reverse of almost all natural skills in which we expect to get better and better at it until time goes on.

I don't have the energy and determination for the "old way," and it wasn't working for me. My new way is lower stress and easier to incorporate into my real life. Weight management habits really ARE like learning to play an instrument. Not only do I need to be patient with the learning process, I need to remember to practice. Even if you've learned to play concert level violin - you couldn't have gotten there without practice, but even once you master it, it doesn't do you any good if the violin is sitting in the closet.

And like playing an instrument, the more that's going on your life that you allow to be a higher priority, means less time for practice. And there is a practicality to it as well, as weight management isn't always (and sometimes shouldn't be) our top focus.

I think reading the Oprah interview, it's exactly what she talks about, if not directly - but how her early attempts were so "gung ho" and extreme that she put weight loss as the highest priority in her life, and her life suffered for it. When she couldn't or wasn't willing to do so, the importance of weight and eating right, shifted to the bottom. In practicality, we all have to find a way to put our weight at the right level of importance. Finding balance, and juggling all of our responsibilities in life will always be a challenge

Last edited by kaplods; 12-09-2008 at 03:00 PM.
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Old 12-09-2008, 02:56 PM   #5  
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It still comes down to choosing what you eat and how you move. No matter how famous you are, you still get hungry, you still have cravings, you still wanna feel good and have pleasure in your food.
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Old 12-09-2008, 03:00 PM   #6  
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It's more than money & all the weight loss equipment in the world that's going to keep us going.

Oprah is just like all of us here at 3FC, she wears her struggle out there for all the world to see.
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Old 12-09-2008, 03:14 PM   #7  
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I think that's one of the most frustrating things about weight loss - your ability or inability to reach your goals is written all over your face and body.

If ALL unhealthy habits were as easily visible, what a weird world it would be ...

You know those factory signs that read ____ days accident free. Imagine if everyone had the stamp of their unhealthy habits written on their forehead

____ days without a drink for alcoholics

_____ days without heroine for a heroine addict

____ days without an irresponsible sexual encounter for sex addicts.




Even for folks without obvious addictions - consider if everybody had signs that flashed


forgot to feed the dog this morning

something scary is growing in my fridge because I haven't ever cleaned it

I didn't wash my hands after using the bathroom 5 minutes ago - and I pooped

I lost my temper and screamed at my five year old

I lie about my age

I cheat on my taxes

I'm sleeping with my husband's brother


Maybe there's be alot more compassion for the struggles of obesity. We all struggle to do what's best for ourselves, our families, and our communities. And we all fail, often miserably. It's just that the failings you can cover up tend not to get you as harshly judged as the ones you cannot.

Last edited by kaplods; 12-09-2008 at 03:20 PM.
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Old 12-09-2008, 03:17 PM   #8  
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Quote:
Originally Posted by kaplods View Post
I think that's one of the most frustrating things about weight loss - your ability or inability to reach your goals is written all over your face and body.

If ALL unhealthy habits were as easily visible, what a weird world it would be ...

Even for folks without obvious "problems" signs on their forehead that flashed (forgot to feed the dog this morning, haven't cleaned my fridge in 10 months, or I lost my temper and screamed at my five year old, I lie about my age, I cheat on my taxes.....)

Maybe there's be alot more compassion for the struggles of obesity. We all struggle to do what's best for ourselves, our families, and our communities. And we all fail, often miserably. It's just that the failings you can cover up tend not to get you as harshly judged as the ones you cannot.
Amen! I tried to say just that on a thread once, but apparently didn't succeed. You put it well.

Last edited by JulieJ08; 12-09-2008 at 03:18 PM.
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Old 12-09-2008, 03:48 PM   #9  
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I noticed too when I saw her show that she had gained some weight. I don't see it as failure but as reality. She has to do ALOT to maintain her weight (as I have seen on several of her shows) Maybe, her body is telling here that it is comfortable at this weight (not her weight lose journey but her time of maintanence). It may be a testimony that we can eat right, work out and be comfortable with our size. There are heathly size 4s and healthy size 14s. If you are at the weight your body is comfortable with then I dont think it would be a constant struggle. I will never be a comfortable size 4 but I can attain a size 10 (maybe 12 ) and I am fine with that!

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Old 12-09-2008, 03:52 PM   #10  
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Quote:
Originally Posted by caligirl98 View Post
And no, I'm not delighting in her failure...I'm just saying, she can afford home gyms and personal trainers and nutritionist and any dang thing else she wants and she still struggles. It makes her more human and makes me realize that this is difficult (no matter how much weight loss stuff you have access to) and what matters is that once you fall off, you have to get back on.

Oh sorry, just 'voicing' my train of thought...
I agree, she can hire people to do all sorts of things to help her lose weight but ultimately its up to the individual. I admire her for having the courage to tell people she was 200 lbs and obese per BMI being that she is in the public eye. Its not like watching her show it wasn't evident that she had gained weight but the courage to actually share the number and be so public about such difficult issue is amazing.
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Old 12-09-2008, 03:53 PM   #11  
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I think it's brave that she's willing to share this stuff with the world and it is somewhat comforting to know that even stars struggle. Now if only they'd make airbrushing illegal..
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Old 12-09-2008, 03:59 PM   #12  
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I was reading about that earlier... she's back up to 200 and almost appologizing to the public for her weight gain. She said something about 'talking the talk and not walking the walk' and being a poor example for her viewers.

We're all human. We all have struggles. No matter ho much money or fame you have you're always going to have personal battles. I'm sure she'll get through it.
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Old 12-09-2008, 04:14 PM   #13  
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Quote:
Originally Posted by kaplods View Post
I didn't wash my hands after using the bathroom 5 minutes ago - and I pooped
A little off topic, but I'm glad I wasn't drinking anything. I just burst out laughing.

---

Back onto Oprah & what others have said. It must be hard to feel like you have to be an 'example' to your viewers. To feel like you're a leader at AA and that you've taken your first drink in 10 years...

(ETA: Not that I look to Oprah as my WL leader.)

And, yes, bravo to her for giving the true number in public. A little sad that she feels so shamed by it, but maybe one day the number will just be a number to all.

Last edited by Lovely; 12-09-2008 at 04:15 PM.
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Old 12-09-2008, 04:23 PM   #14  
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And, yes, bravo to her for giving the true number in public. A little sad that she feels so shamed by it, but maybe one day the number will just be a number to all.
ITA - As someone who has inspired so many, it upsets me that she should feel shame for being human.
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Old 12-09-2008, 04:28 PM   #15  
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kaplods, you wrote what i was thinking, but couldn't get across on paper. you put it so well!

as for Oprah, I noticed she had gained weight and admitting it just made her seem more like a regular person to me. So many people like to say that having the money for gyms and chefs and personal trainers is how celebrities stay thin. To some extent that is true, but Oprah's situation proves that it takes more than that. Weight loss is hard, and people need to be determined and consistent with their eating and exercising habits. I love Oprah, btw.
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