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Old 12-04-2008, 10:36 AM   #1  
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Default In a funk what can I do (long and you don't have to read it... haha)

You girls always have the best advice/encouragement.

I just feel like really lazy and confused and unhappy lately.

Hubby and I are under a lot of stress taking my photography hobby/side business and turning it into our full time family business. We aren't sure it's the right choice yet but we're working on the business plan, etc to see if it's even feasible. Anyway, there is SO much work that goes into starting your own business (as I'm sure some of you know) and when I've been working really hard on business planning all day, all I want to do is grab McD's for dinner and watch a movie before bed. LOL - I haven't been doing that, but it's what I want to do.

I also talk myself out of doing my daily workouts because, well, I'm busy!

I am still losing/maintaining what I've lost, but these last few weeks just have not been my healthiest and I think my mood and attitude are reflecting that. When I eat right and workout, I'm a happier person.

I just feel like my whole life is disorganized and out of order (see my thread on meal planning ifyou have any ideas, haha). I feel a lot of guilt lately about my daughter, I feel like I am not being a good mom because I'm spending so much time business planning - which brings up the fact that once this business is launched, I'll be working FULL TIME which is really changing how I feel about even launching the business, because I want to be a good mom and I know a lot of great moms who work full time, but for me, I feel like I need to be home with my kid (and future kids).

Anyway I guess I'm not asking for advice with the business or with how to be a better mom or anything like that, I just feel really alone in this. We moved to a new town recently and I have yet to make a close friend. I don't have any friends that I can just call up to visit with or to vent to, and I feel lonely. I guess there are a lot of aspects of my life that I'm unhappy with right now and it's put me into this funk. Like my weight, starting this business, where we live (ew, Idaho... no offense to anyone who loves it here...), my husbands full time job is a piece of crap, my daughter doesn't get to socialize and interact with other kids because we don't know any here, and I don't get to socialize either... Anyway. I know I'm totally rambling but I guess it's therapeutic, right? I probably sound like a spoiled brat, but I'm having a rough patch.

Thanks if you actually read this, and I totally understand if you didn't, lol
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Old 12-04-2008, 10:39 AM   #2  
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i know i cant help alot as i dont have kids BUT do they do anything like toddler and mum groups in the states?

maybe youy can meet a friend AND help your baby to get some socializing and friendships going on?

(i posted in your meal plan thread to!) x
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Old 12-04-2008, 10:42 AM   #3  
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I know what you mean. I've been struggling lately too find time to workout. I work full time and have a 6 month old. Before my daughter was born I used to go straight to the gym to workout, but now I find it difficult because I pick her up from the babysitter at 5:30 pm and she goes to bed at 7:30 pm. Yesterday I made up my mind to go work out after she goes to sleep..yeah it didn't happen. By the time I get off work, play with my daughter, get her ready for bed, etc...then I am too tired to work out. I really need help making it a priority. I hope we can both figure this out.
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Old 12-04-2008, 10:43 AM   #4  
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paula has a good point. I have meet several moms through moms groups on the meetup.com website.
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Old 12-04-2008, 10:45 AM   #5  
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do you have any kindermusik programs near you? my boss does it with her daughter and they love it. i say this assuming your daughter is old enough to participate in kindermusik...
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Old 12-04-2008, 10:46 AM   #6  
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Finding moms groups are all good ideas, and I have heard of Kindermusik and I know my girl is old enough now.

I will look into those things, girls! I feel a little shy about it, but I guess it's in my hands to make friends, haha!
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Old 12-04-2008, 10:46 AM   #7  
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Hey lady! Everything always seems to pile up at the same time, doesn't it? As far as a new town, that's difficult too! Will your daughter be going to daycare or is she in school when you start working full time? Hopefully she will meet some playmates at one of those two places. Keep your eyes and ears open for some nonprofit groups and check them out. Not that you have time for alot of non profit activities but going to a meeting here and there would not only get you meeting others in your communitte but might also help in making new contacts for your new business. I help with our local Jaycees and have met a ton of people around my age and made great contacts with the communitee in doing it! If you have no idea where to start, contact your local chamber of commerse.

Totally off subject....One question I have for you, or any of the other photographers who might read this....why don't photographers use video cameras and then use the still shots you can get from the video? Just had my 18M and her 22M old cousin's pictures taken and they didn't turn out well....very hard to snap a picture at the exact right time with two little ones. But it made us think about our video camera and how easy it would have been to get a good shot if the session would have been used with a video camera and then using the still option on the camera.....

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Old 12-04-2008, 10:49 AM   #8  
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Jamie-jo- I have had great success getting great little snapshots of kids, but I have a very high end camera and a very fast shutter speed for those situations! The still shots on a video camera are not a very high quality, but they work fine for just around-the-house pictures. Check out my website, carlycarlson.com to see the things I've done with little kids for good ideas It's great to catch them "in action" and if you've hired a real professional you should be getting great photos of them doing their thing! I much prefer the "doing your thing" photos over the "say cheese" photos, so I've invested in the equipment to capture those moments.
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Old 12-04-2008, 10:56 AM   #9  
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Oh, I just LOVE your baby/toddler pictures. I live in a small town and it seems like we have lots of photographers but I've never gotten the quality that are like your photos. I could go to nearby bigger cities but I just can't afford those photographers.
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Old 12-04-2008, 10:57 AM   #10  
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I feel like maybe I have a problem of beating myself up over little things.

Maybe I have unrealistic expectations of myself or my situation, so I'm always coming up disappointed.


I'm sorry to just diarrhea of the mouth over here but typing/talking about all this really helps relief the stress for some reason. Thanks for your tips girls you are great.
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Old 12-04-2008, 10:59 AM   #11  
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thats what we are here for sweety.

i to get mad at myself for not always having a pristine home, and i know i work very hard and i know i shouldnt but sometimes i just get so annoyed that i cant fit in everything i want to be doing.

i think its just a symptom of modern life.
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Old 12-04-2008, 11:00 AM   #12  
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I get like that often too...and I really have nothing to be disappointed about...

I just think you need to get out there and find a good girl bud and have some good laughs. You should really check out your town and see what communitee events they have going on.
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Old 12-04-2008, 11:27 AM   #13  
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I don't know how old your daughter is, I'm going to assume she's pretty young still, but...

My dad passed away when I was 9, so my mom raised my brother and I on her own. She STILL goes into big bouts of guilt, talking about how she wishes she was around for us more, and blah blah blah.

But you know what? My mother is fantastic. She didn't need to be there 24/7 to be a good mom. She was there when I needed her love and support, and I did a lot of the time... but I also learned to take care of myself.

Not that I think that being there for your child day and night is a BAD thing, but... I've got friends in their early 20s who have never done their own laundry before. They don't know how to wake up with alarm clocks because Mommy wakes them up at home, and they couldn't make a meal to save their lives. Because their parents were home and there for them all the time, they missed out a lot of learned independence.

I know to a loving caring mom, it might seem like ABANDONMENT to have a full-time job or business, but... trust me. Be there for your kid when they really need you. But do NOT spend your life feeling guilty about not being there all the time.

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Old 12-04-2008, 11:42 AM   #14  
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Jelbb View Post
I don't know how old your daughter is, I'm going to assume she's pretty young still, but...

My dad passed away when I was 9, so my mom raised my brother and I on her own. She STILL goes into big bouts of guilt, talking about how she wishes she was around for us more, and blah blah blah.

But you know what? My mother is fantastic. She didn't need to be there 24/7 to be a good mom. She was there when I needed her love and support, and I did a lot of the time... but I also learned to take care of myself.

Not that I think that being there for your child day and night is a BAD thing, but... I've got friends in their early 20s who have never done their own laundry before. They don't know how to wake up with alarm clocks because Mommy wakes them up at home, and they couldn't make a meal to save their lives. Because their parents were home and there for them all the time, they missed out a lot of learned independence.

I know to a loving caring mom, it might seem like ABANDONMENT to have a full-time job or business, but... trust me. Be there for your kid when they really need you. But do NOT spend your life feeling guilty about not being there all the time.
i could NOT agree more... i have far more respect for my mum because she DIDNT stay home with me. sorry if that offends anyone but it has made me the independent well rounded (scarf!) individual i am today. She is always there when i need her, and i am there for her to.
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Old 12-04-2008, 11:44 AM   #15  
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I totally agree with you girls, I want my girl to see a strongwilled woman working hard, and that's her mom! But she's only 14 months old, and I sort of planned to be home full time until the "kids" (we only have 1 right now) are in school because they are only so small for so long and I don't want to miss a thing, haha!

My mom worked full time, but only after we were in school and I think the sacrifice she made to stay home with us in those early years, and the sacrifice she made to go back to work later, was a great way to show us she loved us and to be there for us as much as she could.

The good thing about owning my own business will be that I get to set my own hours- my own priorities and my own days off. So I have to keep that in mind- also full time for a phtoographer is not exactly 40 hours a week although I'm already having 40 hour weeks as it is haha It just doesnt' HAVE to be 40 hours a week. Anyway. I appreciate you girls so much.

You rock.
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