Hey everyone, so I've been kinda feeling down and out lately. My dad was hospitalized for congestive heart failure a few weeks ago and since then we've found out that he has cardiomyopathy. Basically, his heart's beating at a really poor rate because some of the tissue is starting to die. I'm a pre-med major, so I kinda understand most of what's going on and it just hit me really hard. On top of all of that, most my girl friends are being really effin stupid right now and only 2 of them are talking to me. Guys don't like to get all emotional and my brother's been really quiet about the whole thing and I just feel kinda distanced from everyone right now. I've found myself judging people and being a jerk to others for no reason at all, I feel like the worst possible version of myself right now. I'm still putting a lot of energy into my workouts, but I find myself wanting to go off my diet more and more, things that used to be easy for me to resist are always on my mind. I'm sorry, I just needed to vent
I feel your pain. My dad died 3 weeks ago from congestive heart failure. He had been sick for so long but it was still a big shock. I totally understand how you take it out on other people. I was pretty mean to my bf while I was out of town dealing with my dad's funeral and affairs.
Maybe you should try talking to your brother. He may be wanting to reach out but just doesn't know how. Even just sharing a good cry could be very comforting.
Hope you and your family stay strong through these difficult times. Take care.
I hope things get better for you- it's hard seeing the light at the end of the tunnel. I know what it's like to have that feeling like you're the only one and no one can relate, but the truth is, everyone can relate in some way. You've accomplished something that not many have or ever will- you set a goal (a hefty one!) stuck with it, and met it- and that shows you have the ability to persevere. I wish your dad the best. Mine is a cancer survivor (6 years) and when he was first diagnosed, it felt like my entire world came crashing down..but you find ways to pull through. And yes, you have bad days and sometimes your "mood swings" can last a bit longer, but you have good reason. So good luck, stay strong, and just know you're not alone. I hope I didn't just babble too much!!!
Difficult times make sticking to any diet/exercise regimen difficult. Remember to go easy on yourself--- don't beat yourself up--- you deserve to be kind to yourself.
I'm sorry to hear about your dad Don't feel like you have to apologize for venting, though! Everyone does that here at least once in a while.
I agree with Rosario about talking to your brother - or any family members for that matter, since they understand the best what you are experiencing. A lot of times, friends become caught up in their own lives/drama and forget that other people's problems exist, but I'm sure some of them will come around if you really need to talk to them.
It's okay to be emotional, but I would just remember that no matter what, your dad wants you to be happy and live life to the fullest - so don't throw away all the hard work you have put in so far! When you feel like going off-plan, take a breath and think about what you are really trying to accomplish. Are 700 extra calories what you need? Or do you actually need to talk to someone about how you are feeling?
Griffogrub- When my dad was diagnosed with cancer my friends were TERRIBLE to me. They kept saying that I was using him as an excuse for attention and that I was overexaggerating how bad it was. 10 months later he passed away... The night of the shiva all of my friends came by to show their support and I basically decided that they were not good friends and the next day focused on myself. I got my life and my dreams and my eating plan in order, and then looked for new friends. When you have a lot of negative stuff going on in your life the last thing you need is to be surrounded by negative people. Focus on making yourself happy and start hanging out with a those people that were actually there for you, rather than the ones that have been stressing you out.
Thanks for all of the kind words everyone, it's nice to hear that there are people out there that care. I'm sorry to hear about your father Rosario, I hope you're doing alright. I've tried talking to my brother, but he's so much like my dad, he keeps everything inside. I'm more like my mother, I wear my heart on my sleeve-I have no problem being emotional at all. As for my diet, I keep telling myself that it's not worth losing everything I've worked for over the past few years, that seems to be working for now. Cookiemonster, I'm at the point now where you seemed to be. I thought all these people were my friends, been when I really needed them they weren't even there for me. I just didn't think any of them were like that, it was kind of surprising.
I just wanted to say that each of you are so amazing. I know we all go through hard things in our lives because that's life, but I have never had to lose a parent or have them deathly ill. I commend each of you for not giving up and doing what you had to do to make it through.
Griff, honey, it will get better. Maybe you should look for people that are going to be there for you no matter what. You deserve to have that. As far as your brother, learn how to "speak his language." I've had to do that with my family. Everyone speaks a different language and now I'm the interpretor in my family. It takes time and the bottom line is that your brother is hurting and probably doesn't know how to deal with it. Hurt people hurt people, I wouldn't take it personal but let him know that if he needs anything or is ready to talk you are there.
Blah
Griffogrubb
Don't feel like you have to apologize for venting, though! Everyone does that here at least once in a while. 
