Do you ever have people tell you "OMG you're so pretty!!" and you know they mean it, but you can kind of tell in the back of their mind they're like "Yeah, she's very pretty... but she'd be SUPER pretty if she was skinny." Or maybe it's just me?
I'm not conceited. But I know I'm not an ugly girl. Matter of fact, I KNOW I'm very pretty. People can say all they want about my weight but I was NEVER an ugly girl. And sometimes when I'm feeling down and out about my weight I'll look in the mirror and say something like "Well, at least I'm not ugly." You know how there's that joke "I may be fat, but at least I'm not ugly!" That's me! It actually keeps me motivated because in the back of my mind I'll be "Well, if people think I'm pretty now, wait until I lose weight!!!"
I have a cousin, whose one of my best friends in the world. She's skinnier than me. HOWEVER, and this is going to sound SO VAIN, and SO CONCEITED, I know I'm way prettier than her. And I think she knows it. We'll take pictures and I'll see her staring at mine. And one time my boyfriend told her "She's a very pretty girl..." (he was talking about other guys talking to me *rolls eyes*) and she was like "Yeah, she is." And once her boyfriend was trying to hook me up with his friend and he told him "She's real pretty." I know she felt a way because the ONLY way he has ever described was "Yeah, she's thick." Or "Yeah, she look good." There's a difference between LOOK GOOD and PRETTY. "Look good" can mean ANYTHING.
So anyways, whenever we're with my little brothers and they'll make fun of my weight she'll LAUGH ALONG, or even ADD COMMENTARY. I don't care about my lil' brothers making fun of my weight. They're my lil brothers. That's their JOB. To make fun of me in EVERY which way. I do it to them too. But what's HER excuse?
One day she mentioned something about my weight in a joke and I told her "Stop projecting and taking your insecurities out on me. I'm fat but I'm still prettier than you!" It was mean to say but what she said was really mean so I didn't care. Basically my brothers were calling both of us fat/chunky and she was like "Oh, no. I'm not that big. I could NEVER get that big. I'm the size of a bike, she's like a BUS." And that same night we kept arguing and ALL her jokes were fat jokes. That's the ONLY thing she has over me. But I win in everything else. And she KNOWS this.
So my main reason to lose weight AND to get at least ONE pant size smaller than her, is so IIIII can make fat jokes about her.
I know it's cruel, but like... I don't know. It's like weighting less than her is my own personal revenge for ALL the times she's made fun of my weight.
my boyfriend and i were watching TBL the other night and he was like... that's the team with the pretty big girl..... i had to be like... NO... with the PRETTY GIRL... she's pretty... enough said....
then he said she was prettier when she was heavier... to which he got the look of death from me...
I actually feel this way with my brother's fiancee. not that i KNOW I'm pretty but why else does she feel the need to constantly put me down/ make fun of me. i think i have a pretty face and hair, but my body is disproportionate to my head. however, I'm tall and think that when i lose weight i will be smoking hot! AND I think she knows this and doesn't want me to be the "hot one." she's not that pretty, but she is short and somewhat skinny, but honestly she's not very skinny. she just gets away with it because she's short. so obviously if you're shorter you'll wear a smaller size, but she acts so superior because she wears smaller clothes. I can't wait to also be wearing small clothes but be a foot taller than her! That'll really give her something to be jealous of! Plus, then i'll know she makes fun of me because she's jealous!
Have you ever complimented your cousin? I mean, you've hit the nail on the head about her insecurities. She's quite obviously making jokes to make you feel bad about yourself. (Which you should not feel... I know difficult thing to feel good about yourself when someone's making fun of you.) But, you two seem to hang out enough, and get along well enough. Have you had an out & out discussion? Just to tell her that it really hurts when she makes jokes about your weight.
However, I don't really see a difference between making "fat" jokes and making "ugly" jokes... They're both mean. They're both meant to make someone feel bad about the way that they are.
I completely understand your wanting "revenge" by losing weight. But, you're worth being treated properly NOW. Not only when you've lost weight.
I never did actually. It always felt really good when someone told me I was pretty or beautiful. I took it at face value -- they really think I'm a pretty girl. And someone I managed to escape that "you have such a pretty face . . . " comment. But I did think I would look even better if I was thinner (eek a bit conceited). I still think that even when I'm so close to being my ideal weight.
It sounds like you both have resentment toward each other -- you because she's thinner than you and her because you are prettier than she is. I don't think it's good motivation for you to lose weight because of some sort of vindication. There's nothing wrong with wanting to look better, it's a motivation for everyone whether they admit it or not, but you have to do it for yourself, your health, and your future.
It IS for my health, future, and myself... PLUS THAT. LMAO maybe I'm just a sick sick person?
You're right. I DO have some sort of resentment towards her because she's skinnier, but I NEVER make fun of her. EVER. I said what I said that one time because what she said REALLY hurt, and I wasn't even arguing with her to begin with. She just DECIDED to give her two cents about my weight. I ALWAYS compliment her. Or tell her what to wear. Or what would look really cute on her. But she ALWAYS says crap about my weight. I usually don't say anything because I'm really NOT that type of person. I may think things, but I don't dare say it.
And the thing that gets me is, she really isn't even that far from being fat. She's in that "thick stage" that guys like. I'm actually only like 2 pants sizes bigger than her. So she may make fun of me but then I'll think to myself "REALLY NOW... you're not that far off from me."
And Maggie... people think just because they wear a medium or small that they're "small" or "medium". I have a cousin who wears a smaller size than me because she's short and she SWEARS she's way skinnier than me but she ISN'T. She's just short.
Well, change your "main" reason for you, and then let the revenge be the secondary reason. It sounds like she's REALLY jealous of you. She must be insecure about herself. And even though you haven't made fun of her, that "I'm prettier than you" comment probably really stung especially if she's self-conscious about the way she looks. It may have added fuel to the fire. I think she makes fun of you because she's jealous, and it's incredibly immature for an adult to chime in on little kids fat jokes.
It sounds to me like she may be saying these things to you to bring you down to her level, you know what I mean? Like you said, you are prettier and she knows that, & she feels that insecurity about herself, so she tears you down, to make herself feel better...does that make sense? And maybe she thinks "well she's overweight,why isn't she as miserable as other overweight people are? ya know?maybe she just thinks you're too happy for an overweight person.lol. But yea, it's pretty obvious that she tears you down to make you feel bad and herself feel better. I have a niece, who is my age, when we were kids we were best friends,but we grew apart, we still talk every now and then. She's the typical "beautiful" girl that every man wants,literally perfect, she's opposite of "the blonde" brown hair,brown eyes, dark complected,just absolutely beautiful,I always call her Katie Holmes,because she is a dead ringer,not as tall though!! She likes attention. she always says "I'm so fat" just to set you up to make a compliment to her,she's that way though,you kinda learn to live with it!!, but I've heard comments she's made about other girls who are chunky, and I really didn't appreciate it,because I thought,"if she thinks that of them, what does she think of me? One night she was talking about losing weight because she had put on a little( I couldn't tell) and I asked her, what she had done with all her jeans before she had lost the weight before(which were probably size 7 or 8) and she looked at me and said
"These are my fat jeans" I felt like tearing her head off, because if she thought those were fat jeans, then what does she think of mine? Lord I'd hate to know... anyway I hope you work things out,believe me, if you all grow apart, you'll miss her terribly..I haven't been close with anybody since my niece,and that was 15 years ago...
I AM very happy with myself. You're right. Even though I'm fat I never really let it get to me. I just focus on my positives. Yes, being overweight bothers me a lot sometimes... but I'm not going to sit there and dwell over it. She's always talking about how she's "this and that". I don't EVER do that. And she IS very insecure with herself. A lot of people can see it too actually. And just certain things she says, or the way she acts... you know. That's why I never really say mean things to her. But it gets to the point where I'm like Ok, I'm fat so what. That doesn't make you BETTER than me. Calling me fat every chance you get ISN'T going to make you any skinnier, prettier, better, richer, etc.
I feel the same way. I mean this in a non-concited way but I know that I am very attractive. I have blonde hair, fair skin with freckles and VERY blue eyes. On several occasions people tell me how pretty my eyes are. I also have a very well proportioned face (no big nose or chin or anything like that). When I spend some time and do my make up (I love the whole smoky eye look because it makes my eyes pop) I look very good.
I also have a great body that I'm hiding under all of this fat, I am 5'10 with a small frame and big boobs (and my butt looks pretty good even now). If I loose this weight I really could look like a model (although I don't think I want to go quite that thin, I'm aiming for about 10lbs heavier). I think some of my girlfriends (the ones that are aquaintances and not true friends) are threatned by me loosing weight. They know that I get a fair amount of guys that hit on me now and that It's going to be insane when I loose 50lbs.
I AM very happy with myself. You're right. Even though I'm fat I never really let it get to me. I just focus on my positives. Yes, being overweight bothers me a lot sometimes... but I'm not going to sit there and dwell over it. She's always talking about how she's "this and that". I don't EVER do that. And she IS very insecure with herself. A lot of people can see it too actually. And just certain things she says, or the way she acts... you know. That's why I never really say mean things to her. But it gets to the point where I'm like Ok, I'm fat so what. That doesn't make you BETTER than me. Calling me fat every chance you get ISN'T going to make you any skinnier, prettier, better, richer, etc.
The thing about insecure people is that they enjoy finding the one thing that they can use against other people in order to feel better about themselves. So even if you were skinnier than her, she'd find something else to push you about.
It really is a shame.
But you're thinking exactly what you should be saying. "So what?"
Her - "Ha ha you're fat"
You - "So?"
Her - "So I'm not."
You - "So?"
Her - "So..."
I honestly hope that she works through her own insecurities and stops putting in her two cents when they aren't needed.
at least you someone hasnt actually told you "you're so pretty...and you'd be absolutely beautiful if you lost weight" Thanks Grandma. lol.
I see what your saying. Sometimes its hard to be stay all positive and nice to a friend (and family member at that) that is mean for no reason. Just remember, she is jealous of you. Sure, she'll be more jealous when you lose weight, and I bet you anything she will find a different reason to be mean to you. So instead of getting to that point, I say talk to her. Tell her how you feel. You two do sound like sisters, so tell her exactly whats on your mind.
You're so pretty!....
