Yeah, I think I have been okay with being overweight because I am pretty
you know what kinda bothers me....and I hope this doesnt sound bad...but when girls are big and they do NOTHING to try to look good.
Like they are pretty girls, and big girls, but they will dress in sweats and non matching cardigans, and have their hair all messed up, and never wear makeup, and just be so boring....I just want to make them over!
I agree with most of you. I got told by my aunt "You're pretty but if you lost a few pounds you'd be a knockout!" I was like, um... thanks. She's over 100lbs overweight so I don't really understand why she'd say that. I have a friend who is 5'2 about 120 lbs and wears a sz 9-11 pants. She only wears 1-2 sizes less than me but I weigh almost a hundred pounds more. She is also not very pretty. It's mean, but she has... unfortunate facial features and she's dyed her hair so much it looks like straw. I have never dyed my hair and I ALWAYS get compliments about it. A different aunt told my cousin "Asia is a really pretty girl". (I'm Asia). My cousin told me about it and it made me feel good. I think I used being pretty as an excuse to not be skinny. But seriously... how hot will all of us be when we get to our goal weights? WAY HOTTER than anyone else... right? teehee
I guess that's how things roll...people are always trying to point out another's flaws or insecurities and for me and many others on 3FC it's our weight. But I totally know that feeling! "You're pretty....(but you'd be WAY prettier if you were thinner)."
a co-worker of mine said that last week... and then he followed with "P, have you ever tried losing weight" like ... wtf?!?! ... we weren't even talking about weight, food, dieting, nothing ... but that was what followed his loaded 'your very beautiful' comment.... I tried not to let it get to me. He sent me an email the other day, apologizing ... but I know his views of me are common ...
However, I don't really see a difference between making "fat" jokes and making "ugly" jokes... They're both mean. They're both meant to make someone feel bad about the way that they are.
I completely agree. I don't think fat jokes are any meaner than ugly jokes and they're both hurtful. I can understand when people get a little ticked in the inside and find it hard to control (speaking from experience) to restrain themselves but in the end of a fit I've had, I always look back at the conversation and say, "was I any better?" only to be disappointed.
I think once a friend and I were both trying to prove separate points. Not only did it result in the undoing of our friendship (not abruptly, but over time when it became less and less appealing to hang out with each other after the incident and more of competition during the time we've shared apart) and I highly regret that. Even if it's something like being a size smaller than my friend. It still feels like spite no matter how badly I want to prove a point and understand what it was like to be in that position.
I can understand how being smaller than someone else can be part of your motivation - I had a very similar situation with my sister. I excelled in most areas where she didn't, but she was a size 9 and I was a size 18. Whenever she was feeling down, she'd use my weight to make herself feel better, and she believed that she was superior than me because of my size. Our relationship wasn't good most of the time as a result.
I moved away after I had lost about 60 lbs, which was still about 30 lbs heavier than her. A big part of my motivation was getting to be the small one for once. It backfired however, and I felt worse in the end. When I went back home for a visit I'd found that she'd gained roughly 30 lbs where I had lost another 30, which should have made me happy. But when I saw how genuinely miserable she was and how much it upset her to be wearing plus sizes, I realized that I shouldn't have wished that kind of thing on her.
It would be nice for people like that to be able to understand what it feels like, but I don't think it reflected any better on me to wish for her to be the "fat one."
This may be in a little different direction than the other replies. It's great that you are confident in your looks, but don't let your weight loss journey become something twisted and ugly just to make someone else feel worse about themselves. If they're making petty remarks- ignore them! Because it is very ugly to try to make someone else ashamed over something they can't control (looks, parents, economic situation, etc), regardless of how pretty you are.
I agree Reddalice, but when the people who are not overweight make fun of someone who is overweight I have a hard time not pointing out their own flaws to them. If they say you're fat, I would say... well you have a crappy job. Or something like that. They have no right to judge me. I know two wrongs don't make a right but sometimes I think some people need a reality check.
You are all very lucky to be so beautiful, when I gain weight my face bloats and I don't get curvy like some women I just get lumpy in all the wrong places. If someone is being mean to you it comes from a place of insecurity like other people have said. I know it sounds cliché but I have found that "killing people with kindness" really does make you feel better in the end. I think skinny people are often jelous of "bigger" girls that are pretty than they are because without surgery there isn't a lot they can do about their face and you can loose the weight.
