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Old 05-09-2006, 08:02 AM   #1  
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Default Mom said the wrong thing

This has been bugging me for a couple of weeks and it might help me to voice it here.
I recently took a trip back to my home town. I was very excitied to show off my 49 pound weight loss. The only thing my mother had to say was "are you going to lose another 50 pounds" Boy what a let down! gosh darn it I wanted her to celebrate on what I have done, not focus on what I have left to do. I was hurt and disappointed. Maybe I just won't let her know my progress anymore.
I need to let this go.
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Old 05-09-2006, 08:56 AM   #2  
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Wow, no one knows how to say exactly the wrong thing like a parent, eh? Since I don't know you or your mom I'm talking out my @** here, but... I would spin it this way... maybe she wanted to let you know that she was happy for you and is expecting that you'll keep doing really well and that you'll soon get to where you want to be. She just didn't phrase it very well, did she?

I'm sorry that she hurt your feelings, and I know there's not much any of us can do to help with that, but... I have a tongue tripping mama too...

-Lala

PS: OH! and congratulations on the 49 pound loss!! I can't wait to join ya!
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Old 05-09-2006, 09:34 AM   #3  
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"tongue tripping mama" I love it!!! My mothers mouth is always getting her into touble. IMHO
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Old 05-09-2006, 09:38 AM   #4  
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Maybe it was just a severely left handed compliment! My mother is the same way...seems the older they get, the more they don't think before they speak. Don't let it get you down! 49 pounds is amazing!
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Old 05-09-2006, 09:58 AM   #5  
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Sorry your mom disappointed you ~ hang in there. 49 pounds is awesome ~ keep up the good work.

My mom is round like me and does a pretty good job of cheering me on about my weight loss, but in another area she disappointed me. I reached menopause, and was over joyed not to have to deal with TOM anymore. I shared that with my mom and she almost argued with me saying that it wasn't possible for me to be there yet, because I hadn't yet reached the age she was when she got there. I was just so surprised ~ I thought she'd be glad for me. But is was like ~ heaven forbid that I should miss out on a few more years of suffering through that. You just never know.......
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Old 05-09-2006, 10:24 AM   #6  
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My mom said something last December that just plain made me mad! She said "What I don't like about Atkins is that everyone I've ever known whose done it has gained back all the weight they lost and then some".

Well it made me angry. Because my sister and I who were both in the car have BOTH done Atkins and neither one of us has gained "it ALL back" much less "and then some". But it made me mad enough that I came home to "show her" and wound up losing almost all of the part I had "gained back".

Sometimes the stupid things people say can discourage us and sometimes they can make us mad enough to get really motivated. Use it. Whatever she said USE it to your advantage and SHOW HER.
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Old 05-09-2006, 10:48 AM   #7  
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Could your mom be jealous of your progress? By you succeeding in losing 49 pounds may have just brought her failures to the forefront. Who knows. It was a tacky of her to say it regardless of why and she probably should've apologized for the way it came out.
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Old 05-09-2006, 11:03 AM   #8  
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I'm wondering the link here with unsupportive tongue tripping mothers and overweight daughters. I am kinda dreading going home in June.........I feel fantastic, have lost over 60lbs, but am convinced mother's eagle eyes are going to go straight to my stomach and thighs, and I'll get that disapproving tut and a nice comment like "well you still have a long way to go".

Just as well you have us to encourage you and tell you how fabulous you are!!!! Imagine all those people losing weight who don't have this sort of support.

Glynne: when I was 13 I was in a supermarket with mum, we got to the car and I told her I felt ill, she said she did too, and we were trying to think what we had eaten that had upset us. Well, we got home, and yes, my first every period had arrived.........and mum had period pain too. She put her arm around me and said "welcome to the curse" When the doctor told me I might be going through early menopause at 29 (I wasn't) mum was very annoyed!! She couldn't see why I should be spared another 25 years of pain and misery!!!
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Old 05-09-2006, 02:32 PM   #9  
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I understand...
Last weekend I had one on my hubbys xlarge t-shirts on...
She knew I had an 3 x just like it...
When I told her that it was my hubbys shirt and it was an xlarge she said.. Well it must me made big because I can not even wear an xlarge...
My mother in law is over weight also...
I never said a word to her but it made me want to diet more....

By the way I to think the shirt is made big.. But it was the way she said it!
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Old 05-09-2006, 02:38 PM   #10  
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I think she is jealous. My MIL is like that and she is big as well. She joined LAWL (but doesn't exercise) and complains about how it isn't coming off and yet complaining that I am too skinny (HAHAHAHA what???? there is a first, someone called me skinny) unfortunately she meant that in a negative way and could tell by the "tone". She also bought me a 2x shirt saying it was too large for her. Now wait a minute! If you are double my size, how would that fit me?

Just ignore it and smile and be proud of yourself for all you have accomplished!! I am getting good at the ignoring parts
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Old 05-09-2006, 03:33 PM   #11  
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Ahh, mothers, it just seems you can never win can you. I remember years ago, when I had lost a lot of weight on Jenny Craig (first time around) and I was close to my goal weight, my mother made the following comment:

"You are too skinny, you look ill". Keep in mind I was about 10 pounds from my heathly weight. That was a shot in the heart.

Now, when she asks me about my progress (she lives with me) so hard to pretend nothing is going on, and I say I lost 1.5 lbs, she responds, "That's it?"

Sometimes you feel like .

Last edited by ChocLabLover; 05-11-2006 at 08:31 AM.
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Old 05-09-2006, 04:14 PM   #12  
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I love that smily Carol ~ where did you find that one? That one fits with how I feel about my DH sometimes. Maybe it is a good thing I can't find it. I can only get the ones that are beside this thing ~ when I try to see more, my computer locks up on me.
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Old 05-09-2006, 05:22 PM   #13  
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I am sorry your feelings were hurt Joyce. You are doing an AWESOME JOB!! I had an Aunt Edna who would always make comments about my weight all my life but since she was fatter than me I would blow her off.

I know it hurts but you are right you need to let it go. I am not sure how old she is but I know with my mom she says things she thinks are compliments and sometimes they get lost in translation. (Could she of possibly meant you if you lose 50 more you will be too skinny or something like that?? I know my parent used to say stuff to my sister like that a lot.)

Anyway keep up the good work!!! You are doing GREAT!!!!
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Old 05-09-2006, 07:40 PM   #14  
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Sometimes moms forget that the kid just wants/needs a "way-t'-go!!!" instead of a critique. Sort of like when the kid brings home a test with a 99 on it and mom's first response is, "So, what did you miss?"

Most of the time, it's just mom being thick.

I'm trying my hardest to be the "Attaboy" mom with my teen, but I slip every now and then~! Oops!

I'm hoping, Joyce, it was just your mom's time to be thick!

And "Way-t'-go!" on your 49!!! Brava, m'dear!
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Old 05-09-2006, 08:19 PM   #15  
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Gayle...my heart is with you...my Momma slips up now and then too

If you love that smily...you can just type it like this:

.....OOPS when I type it..it shows the smily of course...
OK so I'll leave spaces and see if that works..when you type it..just take the spaces out : frypan :

All my love and hugs...49 pounds is super fantastic...I was almost there when 25 pounds made their way back to my butt.



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