03 regainers regaining control, and relosing
 

Here's our new thread!

Yay! A shiny new thread. <3 Just popping in to say how proud of myself I feel for taking Luna on a 4 mile walk today. If it hadn't been about 8pm, I would have probably kept going until we hit 5 miles, but I didn't want to get stuck walking in the dark. :)

Thanks for starting the thread, Martini! So excited that you've almost blown through the solidarity challenge, too. That boy doesn't know the positive-energy-fury he unleashed!

Jessica - Look at you and your long walks! I bet Luna just loves the exercise.

212.6 this morning. After being stuck FOREVER at 220/219, it seems I am blowing through this decade. I hope that I can get down to 210 before getting stuck again.

Busy, busy day at work. Hope everyone has a fantastic day!

Hi all! Love to see the new thread!

Well, went up by .2 pounds, I'm at 239.6. Since it is the end of the month, I keep record of total pounds lost for the month, and new BMI, etc. Which typically I feel like I'm overanalyzing most of the time, but this time, it helped me remember that I lost a bunch of weight at the beginning of the month and have slowed down at the end, but overall, it is right in line with what I've lost other months. So, not unhappy at all. I went to spin today. A lady who I see in the locker room all the time said I was amazing to be able to do all of that. :) That was nice to hear.

I also looked at my food record and I think I've been letting myself slip up a little bit. It isn't horrible, but I've been relaxing just a bit too much. So, back on track. That's why I have to put everything down into MFP, so I can be honest with myself! I'll modify and move on.

I wouldn't mind being my birthday weight. It might even be a little low, at 127. December 7th. :)

LaurieDawn: How nice that you are seeing so much weight loss! You deserve it!

Martini: Nice, you only have 2 pounds to lose for your challenge!

Jessica: Yay for you and your walks!! So impressive!

Another manic Monday...LOL I have to take all three teens to change their schedules with the high school today and register my Brooklyn in Kindergarten ....oh my I remember the first time I did that with my now 15 year old son....it is so sad but she is so EXCITED!!!! Back to normal with eating last night we had a big BBQ It was my reward meal day so I don't really keep track of calories. Hoping this week brings me a good loss!

Laurie.....Great job you are doing fantastic...can I tell my body to follow yours?

Jessica...awesome job with the walks!!!!!

Diane...hang in there ....this month hasn't shown that great for me either!

Hi Everybody nice to have a new thread to join when I'm ready to buckle down again.

Diane 239 is just fantastic! You are doing great!

Jessica Didn't get a chance to comment on your "live at the barn" possibility-- just wanted to let you know that I'm a hard-core horse girl too! I don't ride anymore, but I did a bit of riding when I was down in the 190s-200s and one of my big goals is to get back in the saddle again!

Laurie 212!! That is just unbelievable!

Martini Thanks for starting the new thread, and you are doing great!

So, let's see. Back from vacation on Thursday, and I've been eating generally healthy since I got back, but I slipped back into the nighttime eating that has caused problems for me in the past. Generally, it's a pretty easy habit for me to break since I'm not an entrenched nighttime eater. I have a book that was recommended on another part of the forum called "brain over binge". I read it once and it seemed helpful and i'm going to read it again.

This is a REALLY BIG STEP for me. Even though I lost KRYPTONITE during vacation, I made a plan to get back on track the day my kids went back to school (today) The last ten days cost me 3 pounds, but I also know that sometimes I bounce 3 pounds just from water. I'm also hoping that after taking a break, buckling back down will shock my metabolism into dropping faster. I took a nice 15 minute walk this morning-- I'm joining the gym so that I can start swimming which is usually the best way for me to click with exercise.

I met my first mini-goal, which was 260 by vacation. I'm setting a new mini-goal, which is 230 by Christmas. And a mini-mini goal of 3 days of KRYPTONITE which is normally what it takes to get me back in the groove.

Laurie Something that you said while I was on vacation really stuck with me. You said that it would be hard to get back on track but that I should just plan to white knuckle my way through it and post here a lot and that is what I'm going to try to do. Why should it be any harder to get back on track after a mini-break than it was when I started back in May, right? No reason! I'm still 28 lbs lighter than I was when I started and I DO NOT WANT to go back there AT ALL.

Laurie - Look at you! We can definitely say your body follows a pattern. It likes to stall a little and then it's just like BAM, the beast has been unleashed! I love that you've caught up to me, too. And you know what? I think we might just smash 210.0 without giving it a chance to put up a fight. :D

Diane - I've always said you're both impressive and an inspiration the way you workout. I wouldn't say the way you add things up at the end of the month is over-analyzing. I do the same thing. I keep a running tally of how many pounds and inches I lose each week AND each month and I'm constantly analyzing my numbers to look for patterns, etc.

Jenni - I can imagine the first day of school for any little one is going to be a bit bittersweet. I know the scale didn't show any change this week for you, but do you tape and, if so, did it have any weekly progress for you?

Uber - Yeah, I'm an avid horse girl. Well, an avid animal lover, really. I know there are people who feel that given my circumstances I should have sold Will by now (and I've considered it several times) but I also feel that as long as I can make it work, there is no reason for me to give up something that makes me feel good and happy and loved. I don't get to see him as often as I'd like - another huge plus to possibly moving out there - but every time I make it out, the love I get when I lean my head into his just melts the doubts away. So as long as I can scrap by each month, I'm going to. Not because of materialism (my brother seems to think keeping my horse makes me more materialistic than him which is bull, but that's a whole other argument) but because of love. Emotionally, Will is something I need right now. Just like Luna. <3

But now to address you, I'm proud of you for being prepared to get back on track. I know that it's a little intimidating but I think you've set up some great motivational goals for yourself and I know that you can accomplish them. Look how much you've accomplished already! You got this and we're here if you need us. :D


The scale, the jerkface that it is, decided to be all over the place crazy today. I saw numbers from 211.0 - 214+ and everywhere in between. I'm so glad that I've had steady scale readings the last two days. I hadn't realized how nice a feeling that was. Lol. So I'm just going to stick with the 212.6 lbs from yesterday and cross anything crossable that tomorrow comes in at the same. I know Tuesday's my weight likes to spike and I'm just really, really hoping it doesn't. We'll see how it goes, I suppose.

Debating whether or not to head out and see Will today. I'd really like to and while I might get a call offering me to come in early (we ended the week on Friday with 5 trucks worth of stuff that hadn't even been unloaded yet), I'd also really like to see my handsome boy and maybe get a chance to follow up with the possibility of moving out there.

I am restarting after a few month hiatus. I too am a horse chick. I have two QH"S that I don't ride, my daughter rides and waiting for her mom to get back in the saddle. Its been at least 10 years. I am bound and determined to get there by Christmas. The lady I board just started giving me free lessons on her oldenburgh who is huge, 17 hands and 1400 lbs. We started bare back riding, and boy do I feel off balance compared to my fit riding days. I have lost 40 lbs but it is creeping back so I am determined to continue.
Weight today 242

Jessica...I do tape but only once a month. Too much to keep up with LOL...I am not worried it was my high carb week and expected...I know I am retaining water also so it probably is that too!

Uber - I am so glad to see you back! Your voice was most definitely missed. I understand all too well how getting back into an on-plan routine can be hard, but I'm still happy you're choosing this kind of hard instead of the being overweight kind of hard.

Laurie - I was really hoping my Monday weigh-in would give me reason to celebrate a triumph over trainer boy, but it wasn't in the stars. That's ok, though. There's a bit of time left. It's so awesome that you've not only proved trainer boy wrong but really are blowing through the 210s.

Diane - I like data a lot and I tend to lose perspective when I'm stuck or tired, so your approach to looking at weight loss over the entire month really resonates. I also got a chuckle out of your birthday weight. Very cute.

Jenni - I also hope your week goes well!

Jessica - I'll keep my fingers crossed you got a chance to go see Will today!

Jayne - Hello and welcome! :wave:

I'm going to get a lot of practice being out of my comfort zone and eating out this week. I'm glad because all of that eating out is for good, happy reasons, but it's definitely going to force me to work that muscle in my head that deals with my relationship with food.

I'm trying to plan ahead and shift calories around so that I'm not starving by the time the meal arrives but also have enough room in my plan that I can eat with some flexibility. I'll let the scale be the judge of how well that goes next week!

Hey y'all!

Back in SC after my trip to VA and MD... Hubby is all ordained, and now it's on to the packing and moving up to IN. The service was lovely even if the events that transpired during the reception are still upsetting me. Silver lining: I didn't eat any of the food at the reception after the ordination because I was too irritated to go in the room.

Anyway.

I just got back about 2 hours ago. Went potty and stepped on the scale to prepare myself for the awfulness tomorrow morning, and after 10 days of restaurants, fast food/pizza, cook outs, and the occasional boozy drink... I was only up a pound. That's an afternoon weight, too, with all the food and water from the day still in my system. I'm thinking with the water weight that should come off fairly quickly (I've had several heavy sodium days in a row), I will actually see a pretty good loss from my vacation. :)

I still need to go back and read the end of the other thread, but I am glad to be back and I missed interacting with you all during my time away!

Fera Glad you're back! I was "out" for a while too and stepping on that scale is hard, but only up one? I'm sure that's water weight! You're doing awesome.

Jenni Sorry I ninja'd you this morning. My kids are really spread out in age too-- my oldest is 23 and my youngest just started 3rd grade. I get weepy over every single child-related transition!

Jayne Welcome to another horse lover! I really don't feel right riding unless I'm close to 200 or below-- it's a big motivator!

Just checking in to say that I achieved my first "back-on-plan" day. I was having some problems with the late night eating, but tonight, I am not tempted.

Martini You are so right about "choosing the right kind of hard." I thought about the fact that I had careened all the way up to 285 and how much that sucked. I DO NOT want to go back there AT ALL. Plus, I really don't enjoy the out of control feeling I get when I'm in eating free fall-- it's unpleasant and uncomfortable and stressful. I'm a lot happier here at 260 than I was at 285 and I'll be happier at 230 than I am here, and that is a fact.

Uber - Glad you're back! Your comment to Martini reminded me of a quote I remember seeing floating around these boards a few years ago.

"Being fat is hard. Losing weight is hard. Maintaining is hard. Pick your hard."

Just a quote I remember. It's stuck with me. :)

Hello, all. I've been working on relosing since March but stepped away for a few months over the summer as I transitioned to a new position that is pretty demanding. That transition is complete - and work is still pretty demanding, but this is important to me too.

Hi all!

Shout out to all of the horse people out there. I am one, as well. We have two right now, no special breed or anything, just great trail horses. We don't ride nearly as much as we would like to, but we do ride around our place, and we also take them up into the mountains for trail rides. For hunting, they are with us all the time. Love my girl, Dakota. She is older and she is just so sweet. I've had her for a very long time and I think she is thrilled that I lost weight. I was so very pleased to get back in the saddle and have it be so much more comfortable!

Went to body pump today. It is the second time with this new program. Dang it is hard. I had to laugh at one of the women in the locker room after class. She said, "I can't raise my arms to dry my hair." Ha! It was definitely tough.

Calluna: Good to see you again!

Mandy: Good job on the past couple of weeks! One pound is nothing! Good for you!

Martini: Good luck with your new plan. I think it is good to tweak things every now and then. Hope it works well for you!

Jayne: Hope you can get back to riding soon. It's such a great thing to do!

Uber: Love your attitude about getting back on plan. Very impressive to come back after vacation and break through the off plan days!

Jenni: So exciting for the little ones to go to school! I think it is fun to watch how much they learn and how they experience so many new things!

Jessica: Stupid scale!!!!

Diane - Trends are everything, aren't they? You are usually such a rational, calm voice. I am panicking just a little bit about the losses I am seeing. Ridiculous, right? But, even though this week has been a record-high loss week for me, I also know I totally freaked out about being stuck at 230 and 220 forever. Thanks for the reminder. And thanks for telling me that I deserve it. I have worked hard for it. It's almost as hard for me to accept that I deserve the scale love as it is for me to accept when the scale doesn't give me love. And yay for hard work-outs! (Thought you'd ninja'd me with your last post, didn't ya? I fooled you by refreshing before I posted!)

Jenni - Kid transition moments. Always bittersweet. And a good reminder of why we are making this commitment to ourselves.

Uber - I am so glad something I said resonated with you. I can't tell you how often I hear your voice in my head. And, if you'll forgive me, I appreciate so much that you are sometimes irrational about all of this. It makes me feel so much better about myself when someone that I admire deals with the same mind games sometimes as me. Here's to being back on plan and re-finding Kryptonite. (And yes, I use that term ALL THE TIME now. Another example of how inspirational you are for me.)

Martini - I LOVE how you're still committed to this and successful even during this transition time. And I love how you and I are both kicking the trainer's butt. Remember - the challenge was only 12 pounds. I added 8 more pounds because I needed a comfort zone to deal with afternoon weighing and possible TOM issues. Technically, we've both already beaten it! And there's over two weeks left. Okay. We didn't just beat it. We totally rocked it.

Jayne - So nice to have you here!

Mandy - So great to have you back. You totally rocked this "maintenance month." I agree with everyone else. Your scale will show a loss tomorrow morning. And then you'll be able to dominate the scale once you're settled in to your new gig.

Jessica - Your love for your horse is no more materialistic than your love for your puppy. I can't tell you how protective I am of my emotional health. I am prone to depression, so I work hard to make sure that I am taking care of myself emotionally. If I sink into depression mode, I am no good to anyone. It got so bad earlier this year that it started to threaten my job. So, your brother has yet again ticked me off. ;-) You tell him that your body needs sleep and that your animal companions provide emotional stability.

Calluna - Look at you maintaining a loss through a transition! Glad to have you here.

211.4. Making my all-time record (excluding baby delivery) high of 7.6 pounds in a single week. No clue why. Not really doing anything different. I have gotten in a few supplemental recreational walks this past week, but still sticking to one sub-hour work-out a week.

And my clothes. I wore jeans yesterday that were almost too tight to button when I started my trainer boy challenge, and they slipped off my hips without having to unbutton them last night. I bought a large shirt without trying it on, thinking at worst it could be a goal shirt. It fits, almost on the loose side, though the XL skirt I bought to go with it is kinda tight. (I have always been very pear-shaped.)

Not gonna worry too much about the scale. I like that I'm losing, of course, but I hear all the warnings in my head about losing too fast. But as long as I am feeding my body nutritious foods and am able to exercise long and hard, I am just going to embrace it. And brace myself for the potential fight to not be stuck forever on 210. =)

Calluna Welcome back!

Diane Another horse girl? That's so awesome! I really miss riding and I don't have a horse, but I actually have a place to keep one so there is nothing stopping me.

Mandy I remember that quote!

Martini I like the sound of good fun off plan eating! I just checked your ticker and you are cruising right along!

I'm happy to report that I'm now just one pound above my pre-vacation weight. I weighed in at 259 this morning!

I keep thinking that I'm just now starting to realize, at age 53, that my fundamental view of food, eating, weight gain, and weight loss is flawed and has really be holding me back.

I have a LONG HISTORY of restricting calories, losing 10-15 lbs, eventually going off track, being unable to get back on, and eventually gaining it back. Classic yo-yo dieting behavior.

So, I now realize that I have had a VERY skewed idea of how much damage a week could do. I literally thought that the one week of vacation where I was eating more than usual was going to pack on 10 lbs.

Sometimes when I detour off plan and don't gain I use that as an excuse to just keep off plan for a long time... my mind whispers to me "remember all that crap you ate last week and you didn't gain? Why don't you do it again, you probably won't gain this time either..." And sometimes, it's just the opposite, and I step on the scale to see how much damage I've done and I don't take into account that it's nighttime and I'm packing water from traveling, and I get upset and give up.
But in either case, the second I can't hold it together any more I end up losing it completely. And that has led to 20 years in which most of those years I was morbidly obese.

So, I think that maybe I'm finally starting to deeply comprehend what exactly a "lifestyle change" means. Last time around, I defined "a lifestyle change" as counting calories every day, avoiding whole categories of food except on special occasions, and basically adopting the Kryptonite lifestyle forever.

But, now, I'm realizing that "a lifestyle change" for me is going to be really learning for the first time in my life that there is not "kryptonite lifestyle forever" and that weight loss will include times when I'm not strictly keeping to my plan and other times when I am and that my goal should be:

1. MAINTAIN not losing should not mean actively gaining.
2. LOSE work on losing when you can, but realize that there will be times when you're just working on not gaining.

(and I'll bet you guys are sorry that the long-winded UBER is back.:o

Laurie You ninja'd me, but I just want to say WOW!!!! 211???? That is simply tiny. You are shrinking! You need to feel extremely proud of your accomplishments!

Jessica Also, Jessica, I can't believe I didn't respond about what you said about your horse. I agree with Laurie. There is no way that owning a horse can be considered selfish. Just the opposite. Do you know how many abandoned horses are out there looking for homes? Caring for an animal is one of the kindest and most selfless things you can do, and believe me spending time with a horse is therapeutic and will always make you feel better about life!

Diane.....You are hanging in there so good. I feel your pain I have been 236.8 FOREVER stepped on the scale today and 236.4....I am beginning to hate the 230's!

Laurie...awesome as usual...you are doing so fantastic...I wish you could sprinkle me with the fast weight loss fairy...I think I got handed the slow one....LOL

Jessica...I LOVE horses too I use to ride all the time when I was a senior in high school now that was almost 20 years ago...LOL

Uber...did you ninja me???? LOL Welcome back we missed you and that is awesome you are getting back in the swing of things. I so can relate to losing the first 10-15 and giving up...for me that is the easiest...now I am stuck and getting so frustrated :(

Mandy...Love that quote!

Caluuna...Welcome!

Martini...You are doing so wonderful despite having different foods and such keep it up!

So...I was only .4 down today....really getting seriously irritated with these 230's .....I am going to keep going because I promised myself even if it was slow I was going to persist with it....

Hi all! :)

Happy to report I saw a little drop from before my trip on the scale (down 0.8, from 294.4 to 293.6), but I can definitely feel some serious water retention going on. My rings are pretty tight, and my ankles are a little swollen and stiff, and usually that means I need a day of chugging down water, keeping a keen eye on sodium intake, and when I'm not moving about, sitting in the recliner, and keeping my feet up. So, I have a plan for today.

Also, I get to order my new phone! Woo! :D

Jessica - I don't have a horse, or even a dog right now, but I can relate to the judge-y comments about pets. My husband's grandmother lectured me on spending so much money on my cat over the last 8-9 months because of her bladder issues, when it could have gone to something more important because she's "just a cat, and you can't afford it." Fur-babies are the only babies I have right now, and giving her up because she's sick just didn't even occur to me. I couldn't do it. I still can't even list it as a consideration even though we're going to have to shell out about $100/month on her food ($40/case of 24 cans @ 2 cases a month, and $20/4lb bag @ 1 bag per month) to keep her from forming stones in her bladder. Nothing wrong with loving your animals. You find a way to make it work.

Jayne and Calluna - Welcome to our (very) active support group. Nothing like sharing struggles and successes with people that get it! :)

Jenjen - So happy to see you're still here and sticking with it! We get several who wander in, post a time or two, then disappear on us and I often wonder how they are doing. If you stick with it, you should see losses, so much contributes to seeing the number change on the scale. fat loss and weight loss don't always go hand in hand, because water is so freakin sneaky! Something that helped me deal with this (I hit mini plateaus occasionally, then get a couple big drops) was this article I read - it's actually an excerpt from a chapter out of his book - see if it helps you: http://www.bodyrecomposition.com/fat...uishy-fat.html

Martini - I know all about being out of that comfort zone with food. I've been tracking pretty religiously over the last (almost) 4 months, and to go a full 10 days without even attempting to log, and to just try to eat like a normal person without weight and food issues would... total eye opener. And it looks like I was successful. If I can do it, I'm sure you can do it, too! :)

Laurie - whooshes are the little reward for your brain for managing to stay the course through an annoying plateau. Just remember the whoosh the next time you get stuck! Happens to me all the time. My day to day chart looks like stairs instead of a hill. Just make sure you're eating enough (especially protein) so you're not losing muscle along with the fat, since in the long run, that's what will slow you down since muscles are your big calorie burners. (Not trying to be judgmental here, just mentioning something I read in (I think) New Rules of Lifting for Women about retaining lean body mass and losing fat, which is why losing slow is good).

Uber - I really am glad you're back! :D Long winded or verbose, or whatever you want to call it, you have lots of wisdom to share and generally do it in a pretty entertaining way. You keep posting, and I'll keep reading! I get into those spots in my brain where I somewhat equate not gaining with being just as good as losing. During stressful events in my life, such as now with the move, I prefer to try to maintain just so I have less going on in my head, and less to worry about, but I do it with the intent to get back to it. How easy that's going to be... well, that remains to be seen. Moving container gets here on Thursday, we pack up Friday thru Monday, container leaves on Tuesday, we pack up the cats and leave on Wednesday. And in the time from like, Saturday through Wednesday, it'll be ALL take out/restaurant food... And "not gaining" through that will be GREAT! But trying to get back into at least keeping track this week after not tracking last week is going to be a little tough!

Also, I can be a bit wordy... I hope you all have missed my novellas! :P

Time to go pack a few boxes. Have a good one!

Hey everyone! I can't believe it's been 5 days since I last checked in. I have a pretty trafficky commute and I wasn't driving so I chose to be antisocial and catch up on all I missed! For those back from vacation, I'm so glad scale-wise as well as mental revelation-wise everything worked out for you guys. You guys are proof you can go on vacation and not come back having fallen completely off-track. I have at least two vacation-esque trips coming up this year so I definitely need that inspiration.

Also yay everyone for the running progress and workout progress. Let's definitely do a fitness-related challenge next month if any one else is interested. I'm still really struggling to get my workouts and runs in so maybe that might help me get into the groove.

A few people commented about people making (consciously or unconsciously) unsupportive comments about either their way of eating or their weight loss and I think you guys are awesome and shouldn't let anyone get you down. No one else needs to share your vision and believe you'll reach goal other than you. People will say what they want to say but ultimately it's your journey and it's up to you to defy them. At least these are the things I keep telling myself when faced with snide or unsupportive comments especially now that I've regained quite a bit.

Last week was fair, workout wise, but I ended up eating so many more calories unintentionally (eating around sedentary maintenance but doing pretty hard workouts). Now 99% of it was white meat and veggies but still that wasn't okay and it reflected in the scale. So I feel a little discouraged probably unjustly so since I know all the possible reasons for my upscale bounce. But it sucks to see the scale bouncing up and down the same figures over and over. I'm also really struggling with weekends. I think weekdays are easy because I'm out and about with work but weekends I'm home so it's so easy to get sucked into the good vacuum. I can't imagine how I did this the first time around! I find it easy to get back in track M-F but weekends!!!

Anyway enough of my whine/rant. I'm glad that at least you guys are doing okay. I'm on a good streak so far this week and if I continue and plan properly and commit, who's to say that this weekend won't be the one I break my awful weekend trend?! If I believe I can do it, I will. That's another mantra for this journey! (I'm just full of them today, aren't i?)

I missed you guys and I definitely do better with y'all so thanks for posting such inspiring things that I can read and be encouraged by when I'm feeling a little discouraged. I wish you all an amazing rest of the day!!!

Waiting for my phone hearing to start, so thought I'd catch up on the thread. Less to comment on tomorrow. =)

Mandy - Do you do New Rules of Lifting for Women? I LOVE it! I am on Phase 5, second time through, and my poor book (which I carry in my gym bag) is falling apart. I am wary of muscle loss, so I do heavy lifting every other day. I lift a lot. One of my proudest moments was when I asked a gym owner how much I was pulling on the lat pulldown in pounds (since it wasn't marked), and he didn't believe I could pull that much. After demonstrating, he said, still in disbelief, "I have never seen a woman pull that much." Still, I am probably losing muscle, though my scale tells me I'm not. (I don't trust that feature of it.) But it takes a lot more muscle to carry around 278 pounds than it does 150 pounds, so as long as I'm working to preserve muscle, I think it should be fine. Also, there's no way I would take offense at well-meaning comments. Thank you for kindly articulating your concern.

ToastedSmoke - Love having you around, even if you can't post daily. Weekends are tough for me too, as are planned eating events with other people. I have been thrown off by lunches, dinners, and "family time." Saturday will be a perfectly on-plan day for you! I can't wait until you post about your perfect Saturday next week! (Or do I have to call Momzilla to inspire you?)

Jenni - After your high-carb week, the scale should start moving soon, right? Can't wait for you to put the 230s behind you! And I'm still amazed at how well you do with all those little ones around.

Uber - I LOVE how you use words like "normal" and "tiny" to describe me! Is it any wonder why I love having you around?

I am a little frustrated by having to wait for my hearing. I planned my food intake around my planned run this afternoon. I hate being super-hungry when I run, but I hate it worse when I have food in my stomach that just sits there while I run. But whatever. I am doing C25K on the days I don't lift, and I have a planned 20-minute run. The last run I did had 8-minute runs. Don't know how it jumped so far so fast. But I FINALLY purchased running shoes, and I am going to work to pace myself so that I complete the 20 minutes. We'll see how it goes...

Jayne - WELCOME!

Mandy - Awesome scale news! It's not a huge drop, but it is a HUGE accomplishment. :D And thank you for understanding about the furbabies. It's a priorities thing and to me, my animals are a priority. I don't need lots of shiny gizmos and gadgets. I don't need to drop $5 a day on fancy coffees. I do need things thank make me feel like I matter, things that make me feel loved and I know without a doubt that both Will and Luna love me unconditionally.

Martini - Planning ahead works wonders. I did get to see Will, by the way. Thank you. :)

Uber - Welcome back to "on plan". I love reading your verbose and insightful responses. It only increases an understanding of oneself and knowing oneself can be very empowering.

Calluna - Welcome back, glad to have you! :)

Diane - Will's a baby compared to the other two horses I've had in my life. He's about 5 now and a striking 16hh chestnut Missouri Fox Trotter. Every time my dad calls him a Thoroughbred, I want to punch him. It's just like when people tried to tell me Lady, the mare I lost last summer to stroke, was a buckskin. She was a dun. A black dun. But I digress. Lol.

Laurie - That's a huge part of why I'm doing what I'm doing the way I'm doing it. I've suffered from chronic depression as long as I can remember. There have been so many times when people should have noticed me falling apart and didn't. I remember prior to my marriage arguing with my mother about it and her saying "Well you never said anything." I was a straight A student who started getting D's in 7th grade. I nearly failed a quarter in 8th grade. YOU WERE MY MOTHER, HOW COULD YOU NOT SEE THE SIGNS?! But that's a conversation for another day. The point is, getting healthy is giving me the strength to take control of my life and my depression. Putting myself first matters and making sure I have an emotional safety net matters. If you haven't stood on the edge, it's not something you understand and I really don't think he does.

Congrats on your loss and your nsv with the clothes. It's a great feeling. :)

Toasted - We missed you, too!


I did make it out to see Will last night and omg was he lovey. Sometimes he can be a butt and make me work for the affection but last night, he just wanted to stand there and love all over me. It's a good thing I wore a black shirt, too, 'cause I ended up going to work with some mud spots from where he nuzzled me with his nose. Lol. Also, I can't remember who mentioned looking forward to the comfort of being back in the saddle after weight loss, but you have no idea how awesome that feels. I've always been able to fit in small saddle. My father made a huge deal over the fact that my fat 260+ lb *** could squeeze into a 15" seat. Anyway, every time I get up I get this feeling of glee. I can't express the ecstasy I felt after the first month of losing when I was able to mount Will without someone pushing my butt, without struggling. :) I still have to use a step right now, but that has more to do with the fact that he's 16hh and I'm not as limber as I'd like to be yet. XD

I don’t know if I’m going have time to do a lot workout wise today. I got offered extra hours at work, which I jumped all over. But then I turned around and overslept so I’m functioning within a much smaller window of time than I’d like to be. We’ll see what happens.

The scale gave me a solid 211.0 lbs before I taped and then a steady 212.8 lbs after I’d taped. Weird but whatever. Took the average and, given that I’d already seen 211.6 lbs earlier this week, I am allowing myself – with great reserve – to accept 212.0 lbs as my official weight for the start of the week. That’s right, I weigh my birthday. :P

In other news, I save a chicken from drowning out at the farm where Will is boarded last night. Then I went to Ross’s with the intention of trying on, but not buying, a new bra. I could resist though. Once I’d put it on and saw the girls sitting so much prettier than they were in my old, worn out, too big one, I decided I could spare the $8 from my budget. Turns out I really could given that I worked an extra hour last night and am getting another 8 hours extra over the rest of the week. This next paycheck is going to be a good one. XD

ToastedSmoke - Hi! Welcome back (even if it was a short hiatus) and if I can manage to not screw it up on vacation, I think anyone can make a plan and stick to it. All I did was maintain my regular eating schedule (even when the MIL was all "well, that's maybe not so good..." since I don't normally eat my first meal until around 2 or 3pm) and did my best to focus on protein, and produce, instead of baked/fried things. It seemed to do fairly well, even though I still ended up consuming tons of sodium. You'll do fine. And even if you veer way off course, getting back to it is the best thing you can do. As for weekends... I imagine all of my days are a lot like weekends since I'm currently not working (much). I've found that planning out my day ahead of time, food-wise, is the best course of action. When I get the munchies I check my schedule and if it's not time to eat something, I grab some water, or some sugar free gum, or a little hard candy and try to find something to do with my hands. Typing, writing, crafting, editing photos, etc. Anything that's not food. It works for me.

Laurie - I did NROL when I was on my way down before, then I let someone borrow my book and the hooker never gave it back to me! I've moved away from the area without getting it back, and I'll probably buy a new copy of it when I get to Indiana and get some weights for my basement home-gym. I really enjoyed it. I didn't think you'd be offended by my comment, but I didn't want to chance it. I've gotten in trouble for my bluntness before, so I've learned to add disclaimers when I'm communicating in written form.

Jessica - I completely agree with your statement about pets loving you unconditionally. Every time my boo (what I call Brownie, hubby hates it lol) climbs up on me and lays down with her head snuggled into my shoulder/neck and starts purring away, or jumps up on the bed and sleeps on my feet, I realize that she's totally worth whatever money I've got to pay out to keep her healthy. She loves me, and trusts me to take care of her... and at the risk of sounding totally goofy... I don't want her to feel abandoned again, after what happened with the previous owner. Her and her sister spent so much time in a shelter after their previous owner died and her husband didn't want to care for them, I couldn't possibly subject them to that again... and I definitely couldn't separate them. They are bffs. I just chalked it up to the fact that my husband's grandmother grew up during the Great Depression, and has stuck with that mentality.

Hi, Everyone!

I returned from my trip late last night; I have another weekend away this weekend and then I won't be doing any traveling until this fall. I am glad about this--as much as I enjoy getting away, I really struggle to stay in control while I am away.

I had a great trip--I walked a lot, but also ate more than I wanted. I had an unexpected moment on the airplane, though. I got into my seat and went to buckle the seatbelt and... I couldn't. That has never happened to me. When I traveled overseas in May, I could fasten the seatbelt, albeit barely. I didn't even think about whether I would be able to buckle the seatbelt... as I said, it has never been an issue. I asked the steward for an extender; he was great--he did it very discreetly. I kept the extender so that I wouldn't have to ask for another on the flight home. It was a real wake up call for me. Honestly, I couldn't wait to get back here to post about it because I know that you all would understand what I am feeling and perhaps have words or wisdom... or at least consolation.

On another note, I am glad to see that Uber is back and so happy about Laurie's weight loss! I was also glad to see that Martini started a new thread here...

I have missed checking in with you all and am glad to be back.

Hello hello! :wave:

Mandy - Check you out! You're really doing well! It's been a big month for you in a million different ways, but you're on plan and losing weight and that's terrific to see!

Calluna - Hi! Welcome!

Diane - I'm sitting here in the middle of a big city swooning at the thought of horses and trails and the like. Thank you for the momentary escape!

Laurie - Just in case you need to hear it again, I'll also tell you that you deserve the scale love. There's a lot of wisdom in what you were saying to Jessica about being protective about your emotional health. You're right. I'll join in that little cheering section you've got camped in your head and root for you as well.

:yay: <--- me in Laurie's head

Uber - Not sorry at all you're back. I also have to agree that there's most definitely is a certain weirdness with starting to get what a lifestyle change means in practice. What I'm seeing lately is that there are days where I'm completely on plan and there are days when I eat more, but I always follow the more days with a few days of being back on plan. Leaving that inclination to descend into compulsive eating behind is like cutting off a limb and still feeling it there. I'm guessing that it's always going to be with me, but it's becoming a matter of introducing enough other voices that they drown out the more destructive ones.

Jenni - Hang in there! You'll be through the 230s before you know it!

Toasted - I don't see your post as a whine/rant as much as you simply being honest about where you're at. What really stuck with me about what you're saying is that you're treating the weekends as a problem to be solved. It's hard and it sucks to deal with, but you're dealing with it and not accepting it as something inevitable. I love the optimism and self-love that's at the heart of that.

Jessica - There's a lot to be said for how healing it is to surround yourself with love and I'm glad you have that in your life. I think you and Will and Luna are lucky to have all made your ways to each other. I googled "chestnut Missouri fox trotter." Beautiful horse!

Lotus - I've had to ask for a seatbelt extender as well and I died a little bit inside when I did. What's always irritated me about that, though, is that it's only happened on US domestic flights. In the rest of the world I've got Godzilla-like dimensions and I can still snap that seatbelt shut with room to spare. I've got no words of wisdom for you, but if you want me to go off on a pretty spectacular rant I've already rehearsed a number of times just say the word and I'm there.

Lotus - You needed a seatbelt extender at 232? So happy that you got a discreet steward, and that you kept it so you didn't have to go through it again. But that had to be an excessively small seatbelt. But you are right that I have words of consolation. I have never needed a seatbelt extender, even at my highest weight (again - I am shocked you needed one at your weight), but I have been asked to exit an amusement park ride. It sucks. But you handled it with grace and dignity. And came back here! Glad you're back!

Jessica - Yay for extra hours! And even if it means it cuts into formal exercise time, at least your job is active and provides opportunity to burn calories that way. So glad you are getting emotional support from Luna and Will. It sounds like you know how important that is, and that's a great thing too. You are taking care of yourself both physically and emotionally, and reaching your goals because of it.

Mandy - I love how the preacher's wife casually refers to her friend who didn't return her book as a "hooker." =) You are so much fun to have around. It will be fun if we're both doing it. My goal is to do a pull-up. Need to get another 60 or so pounds off before that's even remotely realistic, though. =)

210.6 this morning. And feeling really fat. I wore a very loose size 18 skirt yesterday with a loose large top. Put it on in the morning, felt great about how I looked. Looked in the mirror at work mid-morning (really? do we need a full-length bathroom in the ladies' room at work?) and all I could see was my pannus - a gift from a Caesarean section. Somehow, the clothes seemed to accentuate it. And, I have been relying on huge portions of spinach the last week or so to keep me full during the day and allow me to save most of my calories for my evening meal. I usually enjoy it, even if I don't love it. (I add raspberries and/or blueberries to it, which I genuinely love.) Today, I was really hungry and could barely choke the spinach down. Looks like I'm gonna have to switch up the diet a bit. I don't want it to be painful. And I am going thrifting this afternoon. Maybe if I find different clothes, I will start to feel better about the way my body looks. I usually feel really good about my body on the way down, so this is particularly disconcerting for me.

Martini - You ninja'd me! And I can't tell you how much I appreciate your words, both to me and to everyone else. Thank you for camping out in my head and cheering me on! It's very, very helpful to hear someone else say that I deserve the good things going on with my weight. You are so consistently insightful, kind, and honest. Thank you for being a part of my journey.

Laurie...congrats on all that weight coming off...again can I have your scale??? LOL I avoid the mirror like a plague. I can't even fit into any of my jeans. I am looking forward to the day I can finally get into them...hopefully by the time fall hits! Chin up...you have lost ALOT in a short period....think of that and guess what??? You are beautiful no matter what! Own it!

Toasted....glad to see you back!!! We missed you!!!

Mandy...thank you that was sweet. I will be here for the long haul...I made a promise to myself and my kids this time. I would never have energy to play with them and now I do...and I just want to make that easier!

Jessica...yay for new bras! You are doing awesome awesome awesome! Still think you should get a scale to reward yourself!!!

Lotusmama...welcome home from your trip!

Martini...thank you for the support....you always give such great support!

Well the scale decided to move 235 that's 1.8 down I am hoping it keeps moving for a little until Saturday!!!!! 15 pounds down since I started!

Laurie - "Hooker" is my go-to term for people who irritate me in some way. I'm pretty sure I've called my husband a hooker at least once a day for the last 6 years (back to before he was my husband). I almost always follow up with... "except hookers make their money by doing what you tell them AND YOU AREN'T LISTENING TO ME!" He usually comes back with "you don't pay me enough." The whole exchange usually happens after I've smacked him a couple times for tickling me, and he still won't stop (I'm pretty insanely ticklish). My goal in life is to prove that pastors and their spouses are just normal (lol normal) people, and not some exceptional examples of humanity that aren't allowed to have fun. As far as NROL, I'll probably get that started up as soon as I have the equipment in my basement. A few years ago I was insanely proud of the fact that I had most of my big lifts in triple digits (probably not all that big a deal, but it felt like it to me!). I'm also considering doing Strong Lifts 5x5, because I've read that this is a good beginner strength training program (http://stronglifts.com/5x5/). And as for the feeling fat... It happens. It'll probably happen all the way down. It takes a while for the brain to catch up with reality sometimes. I thought I looked pretty snazzy in my red and black dress on Sunday, until I saw a picture and was like "omg my gut totally steals the picture." See?


http://i1265.photobucket.com/albums/...ps12572578.jpg

Lotus and Martini - Needing to ask for seatbelt extenders are my biggest fear in regards to flying. I've only flown once (with Southwest) in the last several years, and I got lucky in that the seat belts let out enough for me to latch them. But I'm also unlucky in that most of my belly fat is above my belly button, instead of below it, so that probably helped the seat belt situation.

Lotus - Here are some words of wisdom and motivation for you: If you keep at it, you won't need a seat belt extender anymore! :) I know, deep and meaningful advice. But sometimes the simplest advice is the best. Make a plan, stick to it, ???, success! (I know it's supposed to say 'profit' but still). You'll get there, especially since you get some consistency in your schedule soon.

---------------

I'm about to step on the scale here in a little bit (I always weigh at noon, then chug a liter of water. I don't know how that became my weigh-in routine, but it has and I like it, definitely helps me with my water intake for sure!) and am hoping to see a water drop! My rings are still a little tight today, but at least I can move them around and actually take them off, unlike yesterday.

Oil changes and tire rotations for both vehicles are done. New cell phone ordered, and auto pay switched to credit card until we can establish a new local bank account. CDs moved to a CD wallet and cases and stand relegated to the dumpster (finally) so that'll save some space. Almost all the books and clothes are packed. Next step: The kitchen (I feel like there should be horror movie music queued up right here).

So much to do. PODS container shows up tomorrow!

Hi all!
Lots of good stuff on this thread again. So glad to be a part of it! I learn something everyday. Today was my normal running/walking on the treadmill day, but I just was not feeling it at all. Then, I forgot my IPod out in my truck, so I decided to go to spin class instead. I knew I would not be pushing myself very much at all if I were on my own. The spin class was excellent, so that was a good choice. Still feeling really stuck at this weight, but I'm trying not to dwell on it. This might be TMI, but I have also felt a little like things are not flowing through my body as quickly as they should, so maybe a little bit of constipation (such an attractive thought). Just not feeling like I should. I'm not sick or anything, but just not feeling as great as I would like.

LaurieDawn: Wow! You are doing so well!! All of your work is paying off and you are right to embrace it! Very impressive!

Uber: I'm so glad you're back. I love reading what you post! You have some great insight on how to look at this process, and I think it helps us all to work through it.

Jenni: Sorry you are hanging on to the 230's as much as I am! I guess it is our turn to have a weight loss slow down. It is not nearly as much fun as a whoosh!!! But, we'll keep with it and make it to the 220's. Sometime!

Mandy: I think you are not looking at that picture in the right way. You look great in that dress! I really love the color! You're getting right back on track, too, and doing so well. Awesome!

Toasted Smoke: Yep, weekends can be tough. I'd agree with that. But it sounds like your workouts are going well, and you're hanging in with those. It is hard to be good about the food plan!!

Lotus: Ugh. Another reason for me not to fly. I'm not a fan of flying anyway, but getting an extender is not fun. I can imagine that it was discouraging. Don't let it get to you! Just keep working hard and you'll never have to do it again.

Martini: Hope all is going well for you! You're such a great support on this thread!

Hello... I have been trying to find time to log in here and check in since getting back from vacation last week... but all that goes with getting back into work schedule and getting kiddos ready for school kept getting in my way. I have been insanely busy. Diet went well while away, I maintained. Last week was more of a challenge since I worked 5 10 hour shifts and when I'm getting home a bit before 7 every night and everyone is starving, I haven't come up with healthy super quick meals yet. I refuse to buy take out every night, so we had things like cold cereal, grilled cheese, taco salad (none of which the fam is excited about!)

Mandy - Looking good! Which type of church (denomination) does your hubby pastor in?

I'm going to go back and read end of old thread to see what I missed...

I was also worried about needing an extender on our flight last month, but it went fine. I don't look as heavy as I am because percentage wise the fattest parts of my body are my extremities, thighs and upper arms, vs. my trunk. (My thighs are referred to at tree trunks actually when I'm in an self-deprecating mood.)

Nora - Hubby is a pastor in the ELCA branch of the Lutheran church (Evangelical Lutheran Church in America). He starts at his first call next week! :)

Diane - Re: Keeping things moving... The biggest question is are you getting enough fiber, water, and fat? All 3 are pretty necessary to move things through. Most people don't think of fat as important for digestion, but it really does help. I was so blocked up when I tried a low fat diet. Fats are a little higher in calories, but they go a long way to helping absorb nutrients and keep digestion moving. If you have the calorie room, and aren't getting enough fat in your day, maybe that's where you should make an adjustment. Just switching from fat free to full fat yogurt and using a little olive oil vs cooking spray at dinner time was enough to make a huge difference for me. :)

:carrot::carrot::carrot::carrot::carrot::carrot::c arrot::carrot::carrot::carrot:

Guess who FINALLY got lower than her lowest recorded weight since THE REGAIN??

Guess who lost all the vacation weight and dropped a pound to boot?

Über that's who!!!

On January 23rd 2012 I stepped on the scale and after losing 110 lbs and saw that in 4 months I had regained 70 lbs. Since that day, I've never seen a number lower than 258.5 until today!

:carrot::carrot::carrot::carrot::carrot::carrot::c arrot::carrot::carrot::carrot::carrot:

I've read through everyone's posts and I'll be back to comment in a bit, but for now, I'm just celebrating!!!!!!!!

Thought I'd share a picture of Will before I get into things. :) It's back from April, before he was moved from my father's goat pasture to the awesome farm he's at now so he was pretty under-muscle at the time. He's a bit of a beast now. <3
http://forechoes.files.wordpress.com...1146.jpg?w=450

Laurie - I can relate to the feelings about your body. I don't think that is ever going to go away for me which is why I try and focus on the attributes that I love about myself when I look in the mirror. I've got beautiful eyes and a pretty smile most days. Usually I love my boobs and my hair, too. If I'm focused on what I love about myself, it can help curtail the nitpicking. Sometimes, anyway.

Jenni - Congrats on being 15 lbs down since you started. <3

Mandy - I think you look beautiful! Maybe your gut is bigger than you'd like but we are all beautiful in spite of any faults that we might see when we look in the mirror or at pictures. Good luck with the packing and cleaning.

Diane - Awesome decision choosing to go to spin class rather than slacking on your workouts. Which is something I seem to have been doing lately. At least I feel like I have that that irks me.

Uber - Congrats, Uber! Congrats, congrats, congrats!


Me. Hm. Well, avoiding the scale today because I polished off the last 1/2 cup of my ice cream last night. Also, I did step on it twice and it had a 4lb variance between the two numbers. I'm not in the mood to deal with that... I woke up as a bit of an emotional wreck today and the scale being obnoxious certainly didn't help. I've got several theories as to what's wrong, ranging from loneliness to feeling under-appreciated at work, the very real probability that I'm going to get moved back to weekends when we get in our two new people because I'm not as useful to the weekday crew, to the possibility that my body has decide it's going to have a normal 30 day cycle from now on, in which case I'm going to be approaching cry week here soon... I don't know. I don't necessarily care. Like I really just don't want to think too much about it right now. I just want to pour myself into focusing on other things so that it just numbs the heartache a little.

Of course, my brother - who I really haven't seen in like a week and a half because he's been running around with neighbor buddies - comes home today, of all days, and immediately wants to talk about what's bothering me. I tried to get him to drop it but he just wanted to push and I nearly broke into tears right there. "I know people don't think I listen, but what's wrong?" What's wrong is that I'm not entirely sure what's wrong. What's wrong is that while I have it under control, I still suffer from chronic depression. I'm always going to have to fight with it. What's wrong is I haven't been able to talk with my writer buddies in a few days - they always know just what to say to get me laughing - I feel like an inconvenience to a lot of different people. My stomach won't go away. I've been slacking on my workouts. One of my primary love languages is touch and it's been over eight months since I've been able to just have someone hold my hand, let alone hold me. I'm emotionally all over the place today and I'd thank you to not ask me what's wrong because I DON'T WANT TO TALK TO YOU ABOUT IT. You wouldn't understand. ... But being the polite person that I am, I just kept saying I don't know over and over until he finally stopped asking. Because the truth is, he wouldn't understand. Not to mention that I feel like whatever I say to him would somehow end up getting relayed to the whole rest of the world.

Jessica - I am so sorry! I actually came here to post because I stopped by my house after court this afternoon to drop something off, and ended up going on a mini-binge. I can usually just eat a few crackers to stave off the "I'm so deprived" feelings that come occasionally, so I started with four goldfish crackers. Then, I noticed a cookie in the fridge. I ate maybe half of it, and threw the rest away. I got ready to go, but decided to look in the pantry before I left. 2/3 of a bag of Chex mix and 3/4 of a candy bar later, I'm back at work and so full I want to vomit. I definitely stuck my hand in the tiger's cage. Then, when the tiger bit my hand, I decided to try to take it for a walk. Sucks.

And then, I find out my life/weight loss twin is struggling too. I'm so sorry. I know exactly what you mean when you say that some days are just really off. It's sweet that your brother tried to take care of you, though. But I would have been equally annoyed. I also get what you mean about touch. I will sometime reach out and just rest my hand on my husband's arm. Drives him crazy, but it's really good for me to get the skin-to-skin contact. Are Luna and Will helpful in that regard? I know it's not the same as human contact, but animal companionship is irreplaceable in its own way. =/

Here's to you and I letting go of our respective binges and getting back to the straight and narrow. And hoping that you find your way out of the doldrums soon. For me, walking is sometimes invaluable. Sounds like you use it as a time to sort things out. Know that we're here for you, and that we care about you, though.

Uber - WOOT! I'M SO FREAKING EXCITED FOR YOU! I actually was worried because I know how hard you worked to get below the dreaded 260 number, and then when you snuck back up there after vacation, I knew it would have sent my mind spinning. But you totally defeated that monster!

Mandy - I am so going to use the hooker thing! Cuz nobody in my real life will know that I have copied it from you. And you totally rocked that gorgeous dress! Even though it's easy to see our faults, I hope you can see how good you looked. Which I think was sort of your point in the first place. Thanks for posting that for me so I can see how ridiculous of me it is to look at my biggest problem area instead of also seeing the great things about me.

Nori - So good to have you back! Have you thought about the crock pot? I don't use it very effectively, but I know it seems to be a favorite of people short on time who are looking for easy ways to make healthy and delicious meals.

Diane - First, I love that you are now talking about your "regular walking/running routine." Yay for becoming runners! Secondly, I loved that you switched it up when you weren't feeling it. When this becomes more of a drudge to us than anything, it's hard to imagine doing it for the rest of our lives. I am so impressed that you didn't let it become that.

So, I came here because, as I mentioned in my uber-long post to Jessica, I totally binged. Not that the calories consumed was excessively high, but I was completely out of control. And I HATE that so much. I have been really hungry all day, and really dissatisfied with my food choices today. And I unexpectedly slipped into it. And you know what? I don't know that I can prevent that kind of stuff from happening occasionally. But I'm labeling it a "refeed," and moving on. I don't know if I actually believe in refeeds, but it helps calm my psyche to label it that. And keeping the craziness at bay is my hardest job in losing weight.

And, once again, HOORAY, UBER! You slipped out of Krptonite, faced the back-from-vacation monster, grappled with the 260 bogeyman, and won all of those battles!

My goodness, but this is a positive and active thread. I'm liking this, although it's taking me a while to read through the last day or so.

A few things caught my attention... Mandy, you looked lovely in your dress and don't let your "fat brain" tell you otherwise. Speak to it firmly but kindly. :)

And uber... way to go!!! Major benchmark - hurrah for that!! Keep going, keep going!

And hopefully I'll have something useful to say to others once I read through everything a bit more.

I have to say that I have a little horse envy... I used to have horses, but they're too expensive to keep where I live now and so now I just have pony-sized dogs. Maybe someday they'll come my way again.

As for me... I can't complain about my progress. Scale was at 249.8 this morning, so hurray for breaking back into the bottom half of the century. :)

Also... I've been feeling a little bummed about clothing because I'm still wearing the same clothes that I was wearing 30 pounds ago (with a few extras that fit better now). But surely I'd lose a size by now? then I measured myself and checked a few clothing sites, and the clothing sites, as much as they vary, all agree that I'm a size or more smaller. That made me feel a little better, even though I'm not going to get any different clothes until I can make it up to Value Village for a few "progress, but not there yet" items. :)

Calluna - Thank you. :) I got a ton of compliments through out the day, but every time I looked in the mirror, and with every picture, all I can see are the lumps. I'm not even completely convinced that it's a lump I'm seeing just a combination of shadows and some of the black coloring on the dress. My husband spent hours convincing me it was okay to wear that dress, after I bought it then wasn't sure if I should. I'm kind of a nutcase like that. I can also relate to the size thing. My 24s, that I used to only break out for serious PMS had become tight, which is when I got serious about losing weight, are obviously way too big and are more like sweat pants now... but almost all of my 22s are still a little bit tight. Ugh. Sizing.

Laurie - I'm glad you got the point of my posting that picture... I wasn't just posting to show off my hubby in his preacher-man duds ;). We are much harder on ourselves than anyone else, generally speaking, and the first thing we see is not the first thing others see. I can relate to the binge thing, too. I did that the other night. I was so upset after some events during the ordination that I ate an entire sleeve of Ritz crackers, half with peanut butter, and half with salsa (not at the same time). I think how we react after such a binge speaks more to our strength than indulging in some bad food choices does. It's why my favorite motivational quote is "Even if you fall on your face, you're still moving forward." Just get up, dust off, and keep going.

Jessica - I just want to give you a hug right now. :hug: I know exactly how you feel, because I was in the same head space a couple weeks ago before a beast of a period that I had to deal with while stressing about staying with my in-laws. I cried a ton, and bit my husband's head off a couple times, then cried some more because I felt bad about snapping at him (and managed to hide it all from the family - I hope!). Awful stuff. Aren't hormones fun?!

Uber - I'm gonna add a few more carrots to your celebration, because I know 100% how you feel about dropping the vacation weight!

:carrot::carrot::carrot: :carrot::carrot::carrot: :carrot::carrot::carrot:

I stepped on the scale earlier today, and it was a full 2-pound drop from yesterday, so 291.6, and I'm 1 pound away from 40 gone, and 1.6 away from a new book. :D Maybe I'll even see 280s by Sunday?! If I get another couple days of big drops like the last time I traveled, it's a possibility!

Anyway, I got 2 more tubs of clothing (pretty much the rest of it, just some underwear left) packed, the rest of my books packed, and a case of food for the cats to take with us, so they have something to eat when we get there.

Onward to the kitchen, I suppose, because that's the next big monster we have to handle.

Martini, Laurie, and Mandy--thanks so much for the support. I was pretty stunned that it didn't fit... my last flights in May were international and I sat in economy plus, so there was more room. This time I flew domestic economy. When I discovered that I couldn't close the seatbelt, I sat there for a moment wondering what to do. I even contemplated trying to hide the fact that it didn't fit and jut hoping that nobody noticed. But then I thought of how unsafe that was. I was beyond grateful that the steward handled it the way he did. I was glad I held onto it so that I didn't need to ask again... and when my return flight was over, I kept it again....not because I need it (I hope to never have to use it again), but because I wanted it to serve as my motivation. I will probably fly again in November. My mini-goal is to not need that extender! Honestly, it was a wake up call.

Mandy--you look very nice in the picture. I agree, though, it always takes awhile for your brain to catch up. That has always been the case with me.

Thanks again for the support, everyone. I appreciate it.