[ainslie]

Only 10lbs to my next mini goal but today it seems so far away. I want to be there NOW. Actually I want to be at my goal weight now. Well I should be at my mini goal by Halloween.
The Halloween challenge both helps and hurts. I'm competitive andthe challenge makes me want to work harder. But because I am competitive I also want to lose the most each week and I get kinda bummed when I don't ( even though I know I'm hitting my proper weight loss targets). Silly I know. But I'm getting kinda impatient. I guess ...I don't know. I think of only losing 2lbs is a bit of a fail but I also know its not. Why can't I be happy with the fact that I'm losing?

[ainslie]

Took a spa day yesterday and felt much better. Think I'm going to make my offical weigh in day on sundays. I am going to keep weighing daily but am only going to update my ticker once a week. I'm a little nercous about up my calories and ending up gaining but I'm going to give it a full week or two and see how I do. Wish me luck.

[ainslie]

Down to 236.4 .didn't realize how hard it would be not to update my ticker. It's really easy not to update in the other direction. So far I think upping my calories has worked. The Halloween challenge will tell the tale.

Last time I got to this weight I think I was on herbal magic and like this time, I stalled around low 240s high 230s. I really think that I wasnt eating enough. I mean I can't gorge myself but so far so good.

I also realized that 217 is also a hugh target for me. That's the weight I was at when I might my husband and b4 I got pregnant. It may not have been accurate as it was on MILs scale but it has been a number that has stuck in my mind for 10 years. I think I will be very happy when I reach it.

[ainslie]

Decided to have a ticker for the Halloween challange. I can update that one every day. Problem solved. After halloween I can use is either for the next challenge, should I choose to accept it, or to my next mini goal.

[ainslie]

Just got back from my run/walk. Had to tape my left leg cause I think I might be getting shin splints. I ran around the soccer field by Ashley's school. I definitely think the taping helped. Found my crompression shorts. Whell actually they aren't but they are shapewear and so they hold me in. Compression shorts sound much better. I also have compression socks. Well actually compression hoses. You know, like the old ladies wear. Can't find them right now be should find them by my next run on monday. Think I will keep this pace walk 5 min and run 1 for at least another week. Then I will decrease the walking and increase the running by 30 sec. I want to do this gradually so I will stay with it. Ok, time to do my just dance on the wii, then I will be done for the day.

[ainslie]

Well lots of stuff to write about. A few days after my last post I peed on a stick. And guess what! I'm pregnant. Gained 8 lbs over last weekend. To be fair if you take away the water weight it was 4.6. I did not eat well. I had chinese, then nasty dixie lee and thanksgiving dinner. I won't be making those mistakes again. I have uped my calories and reduced my lifting weight. I lift less weight but more reps. I don't know how much weight cause it is a second hand machine and I can't find the model number and the weights aren't numbered. Oh well.

I'm really nervous about this pregnancy cause my DD may be a carrier for Duchenne muscular dystrophy. Which means if this baby iss male he may have dmd. I'm trying not to get attached because my DH and I talked abou it and we don't want to see our child grow weaker and weaker and pass away in him early 20s with congestive heart failure. So we are not telling family until after we get the results back from our gentic testing and do either CVS or an amino. I am 35 so it also puts the baby at risk for a whole host of other issues. Please don't get me wrong. I really want this child but with one special needs child already and spending about 10 grand a year on therapy we can't handle other one. Especially one with a severe disability. So I pray everyday that this baby will be okay.

[ainslie]

It's been a long time since I posted here. I lost the baby in the above mentioned post. However, I now have a rainbow baby who is almost 14 mths. It was an awful pregnancy. I was sick ALL THE TIME. I gained my baby weight AFTER she was born. But I'm back on track now. I started low carb about 3 weeks ago and am down 19lbs.

[activeadventurer]

Welcome back!