Okay, after 3+ months of binging and eating unhealthy, I faced reality and got on a scale this morning....235. That's 30 lbs I put back on, just like that. I think I finally realised that I am going to be fighting with this for the rest of my life. But that's okay, because I remember how awesome I felt at 205 (I felt sexy for the first time), and I will get that back again.
I am just really disappointed in myself and ashamed as well.