I'm doing ok on weight loss - just finished my 28th week and I can see some of the positive results. But I get so frustrated and just feel like throwing in the towel sometimes. I won't, but I guess I'm just feeling sorry for myself
I have only had two people at work mention that they noticed that I was losing weight. They asked me if I was losing weight (they had to ask) and I said yes. You might guess that maybe people at work just don't want to say something because it's rude, but my boss has been losing weight and EVERYBODY compliments her, and I'm pretty sure I've lost as much as she has. There's another woman in the office who looks like she has gained weight, and someone came up to her and complimented her on her weight loss...and said nothing to me. I wouldn't mind some positive feedback.
On the other hand, maybe I don't. I was at the gym yesterday, on the elliptical, and this girl I didn't know said that I was an inspiration to her because I she sees me there every day. At first, I thought that was nice, but then I thought, is she inspired because she's thinking "she's much fatter than me, and if she can do it so can I?" So then I felt worse.
And I'm just plain irritated that I'm still not going down in pant sizes much. I've dropped three sizes, but in six months, I would have expected more. I have lost weight before and have lost one size every month an a half or so. My gut just doesn't seem to want to get smaller, which is really annoying because everything else seems to be getting smaller.
I sound like such a negative person, but I'm just getting tired of toiling away, with still so much to go. I need some inspiration of my own...I just don't want to get up at 4 a.m. and head to the gym tomorrow.
How much weight have you lost? What was your starting weight?
Last time I lost 30 lbs over 4 or 5 months and nobody said anything to me. I think people sometimes feel it is not appropriate to comment on someone's weight, even a weight loss. Also, people are just sucking up to your boss because one person probably said something and she seemed to be flattered and so everyone jumped on board that band wagon.
Last edited by Underwater; 01-29-2012 at 10:35 PM.
awww... everyone feels like this sometimes. I want to focus on your accomplishments, though? You have been doing this for SIX MONTHS!! Most parts of you ARE smaller!! You get up at freakin 4 in the morning to work out!! You've gone down THREE SIZES!! Some stranger told you, that YOU inspired HER, because you are a dedicated gym rat!
I know the frustration feeling ... it is alot of hard work and what seems like 'deprivation' at times. But you HAVE had accomplishments! I'm sure your tummy area will get smaller, just like the rest of you.
you just need a little cheering session to root you on
Here I was congratulating myself on getting up at 5:00. Now I feel like a slacker!
I'm kidding, but Holly's right. Your accomplishments so far are a-MAZ-ing. You don't have your stats listed so we can't tell where you started, but often when you start out heavier it takes a looooong time for anyone to notice. When people see you every day they get used to the gradual changes, and it takes awhile to really notice that something's different.
Please don't give up! You're doing an amazing job. And those gym compliments can feel a little like criticism (believe me, I've been there) but chances are she was completely sincere and she really does find your dedication inspirational. People who don't have to work as hard as us often just go to the gym sporadically, so maybe you're inspiring her to stick to a more structured workout routine and it has nothing at all to do with your size.
Back when I had lost about 55 pounds, I went out to lunch with my colleagues at work. We went to some mall chain Chinese place and I ordered steamed chicken and vegetables. There was a fellow in the group who had lost a bunch of weight and was looking very trim. He also didn't order much, and this sparked a conversation about how great he looked. Turned out he had also lost 55 pounds! Folks were positively gushing over him, and I sat there feeling like a lump of chopped liver. Not one person had commented on my weight loss to date, and here was my entire group fawning over this dude who had lost pound for pound the same as me.
Second story, also about work. During the same 2 years I lost my first 100 pounds, a woman in my company who is 6 inches shorter than I am (seriously tiny) also lost about 80 pounds. Because she is so short, her transformation is more dramatic even than my own. She is also very gregarious, and very senior and visible in the company - so everyone knows her. for a few months last summer every time I happened to pass her in the hall she was in a conversation with someone about her weight loss. Once again I felt my own transformation was invisible or had been upstaged by someone else.
You know what I did about this? I coped. I am not losing weight to get fawned on by coworkers, I'm doing it so that I look the way I want to and feel the way I want to. I know that people notice eventually - or they don't, but it can't make any difference to me. this sort of thing will happen - you and your weight loss just can't always be the center of attention. You have to find your affirmations within - you can't wait around for others to affirm you,because other people have their own stuff going on.
And by the way, many people will notice and not say anything because they know weight loss is a mine field, very fraught with difficult emotions. You took that compliment from the person at the gym and twisted it into an insult in your mind. No one wants to be the person who gives you a compliment you interpret the wrong way. Many people are aware of the sensitivity around this issue and just choose to say nothing rather than risk unintentionally offending you. Once again, you can't wait around for others to read your mind and give you precisely the compliments you want, perfectly worded. You have to make your own affirmation.
No one in the world knows better than you how hard you have worked and what you have achieved. Be proud of that - you deserve it! And stop worrying about whether other people comment on it.
Girl, I feel you. Sometimes it's really hard to dig deep and push forward. I know I'm still pushing forward with no plan to discontinue doing so but I still feel like I need to dig deep to mentally carry on.
Like that girl was really complimenting your dedication for putting in the gym time. How awesome is that?
One of the great things about this forum is that you can whine and stamp your feet and complain and there are a whole group of folks who have been there, done that and help us move forward. I started a similar thread not long ago myself
You'll get there and you'll feel great and be healthier and that's what's most important! YOU!
Yeah it's frustrating. I've only dropped one size since my high. I don't know where you started, but 24-20 in sizes seem to span more weight than 10-8. You just have to poke yourself and keep going.
Post some status pictures of yourself and let us rave over you here if that helps.
KittyKatFan, how much weight have you lost? What was your start weight?
I wanted to chime in to say, I don't know how much you weigh, but for me, I am on uncharted territory in having to lose more weight than I ever have in the past.
I only recently read on another thread here about the paper towel theory. That at a higher weight, a huge weight loss initially is not noticeable. But as you go down, each 5 pounds makes a huge impact on how you look because you are smaller and so the same amount of weight shed as a proportion takes off a bigger chunk in relation to how much you weigh. As in 5lbs off of 250lbs might not look noticeable. But 5lbs off of 140lbs looks pretty noticeable.
I admittedly never thought about this before and when I read about it, it made perfect sense. To be frank, it was a little disheartening to realize that. Because I thought, hey, I'll be losing like crazy every week and every week people would be stunned by my visual progress as fat melts off my body. Now I am realizing that it may take many months before people even notice visually. So its a little bit of a bummer. But the way I see it, is that there is only one road to get to where I want - and that road does not change regardless of WHEN people start noticing anything.
I thought about how on the flip side, I think every pound I GAINED past 200 was not really noticeable. Its a scary thing. I don't think people know just how much weight I am packing on me. Which made it easy to silently gain weight and the difference between 5lbs more was not clearly visible - not even to me. So I stayed away from the scale and buried my head in the sand, and here I am now dealing with this damage that I have to unravel one pound at a time.
So far... I've been busting butt for 2 weeks and I am fighting feelings of looking like a failure cause the people close to me are not really seeing a difference yet even though I seem to be at the gym all the time and eating healthy. They are probably thinking... she's not doing that much to lose weight. I lost about 7lbs and the only thing that told me so was the scale. I FELT better, but its not like I could see any difference in the mirror.
And I am realizing that I probably won't for some time to come.
On the other hand... when I weight about 160 or so, and lost the same 7lbs or so, everyone and their dog was commenting that I had "shrunk" down. So it certainly was taking fewer pounds (off my smaller body at the time) to make people notice.
Oh well... just KEEP GOING. Sooner or later, I bet something will turn on like a light and people will start going...holy cow, you've lost a LOT of weight. And at that point, every pound will matter.
Take before/after pictures. They help too - to see how far you've come.
You have done an AMAZING job so far - you've been at it for 28 weeks?? Well just be at it for the rest of your life. You WILL get there. And stay there. It is the only way.
I picked up on this thread, because am only on week 2 (in fact today completes my second week) and I am feeling frustrated cause I SHOULD have lost more weight, but I wasn't as diligent as I should have been with nutrition so I am kicking myself. Even though I worked out at the gym at a record high, I wasn't stellar with water and with portion control overall last week. It is at this point usually that I wanna throw the towel in and do the whole "weight loss" thing another day. But this is how it never happens.
So today I'm picking up.... and moving on.
I'm gonna keep chipping away at it, one pound at a time.... I dont' care how long it takes.
I am the only one who can get this body back to where it needs to be. Nobody can do this for me. So no matter how hard, how frustrating, or how unnoticeable, I have no choice... but to just keep going.
wanted to add....
you know the one thing that WILL compliment you when you are making a difference? The scale. Because it will notice EVERY single pound you shed!
You know what else? Taking measurements and keeping track of now many inches are gone.
What else? noticing that you are dropping down sizes.
What else? How you FEEL right after that work out, knowing that you are sticking with it!
We all have our positive high energy days and our low energy throw in the towel days. I think this forum is a great place to come to in order to not throw in that towel after all, and to remind yourself why you are doing this and that no matter how slow or how frustrating the process, that there is still only one way to get there, and that you WILL get there.
Don't fret! Positive feedback is great, but like others have said, your coworkers are probably either sucking up to your boss, or because she is a more "visible" person in the company, everyone notices her more.
It could also be that because these people see you daily, they simply don't notice. My mom lost a buch of weight on Weight Watchers years ago, and I honestly couldn't tell that she lost weight until one day I gave her a big hug and noticed that my arms overlapped when I hugged her. When she was heavier, my fingers just touched when I hugged her. It isn't that she didn't lose much weight or didn't look so much better. It's just that I saw her every single day, so I didn't notice the changes. If I had seen her every other week or something like that, I probably would have noticed.
So cheer up! Eventually someone will notice something is different about you and start gossiping about it, and everyone will be complimenting you.
Kitty You are doing amazing! You're sticking with it! Just a few days ago I felt the same way. And then today I was looking at some cute clothes online and said to myself "One day this year I will be able to wear them!". I promise this to myself. We owe it to ourselves! And I'm excited. Just think about it: you are already fitter, slimmer and more confident than you were a year ago. Imagine where you'll be a year from now! Me? I can;t wait! And people don't notice b/c I'm so heavy, but I'm doing it for me - how about you?
Gee, thanks everybody. I feel better...lots of common sense and support here
My boss is considerably shorter than I am, and she is very visible and rather influential in the company, so you're all probably right that people would notice her weight loss and compliment her on it. I'm a wallflower (sadly) and introverted, and have more to lose, so it makes sense that people would notice and compliment her. And you're right...so what??? What matters is that I don't let it get me down. I'm losing weight to be healther, and I can notice the difference.
This sounds terrible, I know, but I don't know how much I have lost. I started at 334, and I intentionally stayed away from the scale for the first 6 months because I didn't want it to be about how much I weighted. The last time I tried to lose weight, I got depressed when I didn't lose as much weight as I thought I had in one month and it totally sabotaged me. So this time, I decided not to weight myself right away.
I am (for the first time EVER - I'm truly proud of myself on this one) going to participate in my company's on-site health assessment on March 2. Yes, I finally have the courage to face whatever problems I have caused my body because of overeating. So I decided that would be the first time I weighed myself. Then I'll do it monthly.
I guess I do have a lot to be proud of, going into the 29th week. It is exciting to be able to feel some bones stick out. Of course, I would gladly have fat knees if it meant a thinner stomach. I've added strength training and ab crunches to my weekly routine, so I'm hoping that I will start looking slimmer around the waist and hips soon.
I'm always torn on the topic of getting compliments. I'm a naturally more negative person (I'm constantly fighting against that), so I sometimes turn a compliment into a criticism for no reason. Last year, before I was taking weight loss seriously, I magically lost about 12 pounds. I still don't know how. I went to the doctor because I was travelling overseas and she told me that I had lost 12 pounds in about 3 months. I was shocked. I had done nothing to do it. I still wonder what it was. But at work, out of the blue, our office manager complimented me on my weight loss. She said I looked good and to keep up what I was doing. Since I hadn't been doing anything, I took the compliment really bad. It made me depressed because it reminded me of how fat I really was. And then I felt like if I gained it back (because I had no idea how I lost it) what was this woman going to think? And of course I gained it back. And I avoided her in the office for the longest time.
Part of me wants to forget that I am/was ever overweight. When I finally start losing some of this, I don't think that I want the compliments because I never take them as compliments. I'd rather people just move on with their daily lives as though nothing is different about me. I know that might be weird, but I think that's the way that I feel about it. What I wonder is when I do actually start losing a significant amount will I feel differently? Maybe I will want someone to acknowledge all of the work that I've put into this. I guess I'll see when I get there.
Regardless, as everyone said, don't base your opinion on whether you're successful on how other people react. People are weird some times. And if you're more of an introvert, like I am, then it's probably not an inviting topic of conversation for someone to bring up with you. Even when all of my skinny co-workers talk about how much weight they want to lose in front of me, I'm never involved in that conversation. I'm much heavier than any of them. I weigh more than my 6'4" boss. So I get very uncomfortable when they talk about weight loss. And I think they're uncomfortable bringing me into the conversation. I always feel like the weight loss topic is easier for the people who need to lose less. And much harder for the people who need to lose more. And somewhere there is a line between the two.
Anyway, good for you on going for 29 weeks! I hope that I can make it that long. And good for you for finally going to see a doctor. That was the hardest thing for me. And I didn't get good results as to what I've done to my body. But now that I know what it is I can treat it, work to lose weight, and move forward. Fingers crossed that it will work out well for you. Good Luck!
So frustrated
Most parts of you ARE smaller!! 
