Oh, yeah - and to everyone who says to any of us, "You can't possibly want to lose more weight!" and thinks it's a compliment - it isn't. It puts us on the defensive trying to explain a BMI of under 25, or "normal" for our height, or some other medical reason why these standards have been in place for a long time. And just because you think these standards are crazy and someone who is my height and weight "can't possibly be overweight," you're wrong. The standards were set based on medical statistics. And while I'm no longer stressing over it, I'm still 2 pounds into "overweight," which means I'm not in the "normal" for my height. And I believe I have a medium frame, which should take me a bit under the highest weight for my height to be in the normal range for my frame size. And I have no boobs - so I should weigh even a few more pounds under the highest weight to compensate for that, too. So there. Just say, "I think you look good where you are now," and leave it at that.
I think the BMI standards for women are pretty accurate, but I do wonder about men. My DH is currently about 212 lbs. The BMI charts say he should weigh around 180. I seriously don't know where the extra 32 lbs would come from! He's 6' tall, definitely "big" boned and has a lot of muscle mass. (No, he's not a greek god, lol., but he used to play football in his younger days. His thighs and shoulders, especially, are huge.) He's wearing a size 35 pants. Sure, he's got a few soft spots he wants to work on, but 30 more lbs?
Me, on the other hand, you can definitely tell I need to lose 30 more lbs (if not more). I'm still big around the middle (ugh, WHY is the stomach so stubborn??), and it sure ain't muscle, ha!
Anyway, when someone tells me I don't need to lose any more weight, I figure they're either trying to be nice, or they're full of crap. When they say the same to my DH, though, I completely understand.
Last edited by NorthernExposure; 11-07-2011 at 09:09 AM.
I missed your earlier post. I feel you on the loose skin issues. I'm 38...not old, but no spring chicken either. I've been overweight/obese most of my post-teen years, so I'm not sure how much my skin will be able to rebound at this point.
This was a secondary reason for my maintenance periods (primarily I just needed a mental break). But my hope is the breaks may have given my skin a chance to adjust before moving on. I know loose skin isn't nearly as serious as being overweight/obese...so while I definitely want to get into healthy BMI range, I want to see how I look at 150 before I push on to 140 or 135.
And yes, it is much easier to relate to someone who is losing/has lost a similar amount of weight. Though, surprisingly, I have gotten SO much support and good advice from some of the "skinny minnies" around here, lol.
Good for you taking control of your health. I know weight loss only gets harder and harder as we get older. I have faith that you, too, will find the right goal for yourself as well
Just happened to see this thread whilst perusin' the site for someplace to post where I fit in lol. I have been here a long time, been away, came back, etc., blog all over the place about my crazy weight journey (t'is my hobby lol) but even before I actually discovered any online diet sites, I had lost the marjority of more than 100 pounds and have more or less kept it off by plateauing and being satisfied, losing more, regaining a little, losing a little, etc. I define myself as in maintenance but am workin' on this now 21 pounds thingie.
I loved reading this thread and related to the original poster.
Loved the comments someone posted (sorry, in kind of a hurry to start work) about it not being a compliment when people say "you can't possibly want to lose more weight."
To carry that into my own life, I get comments that I don't have to lose weight as I look fine.
I know I look fine lol, the thing is I didn't lose more than 100 to gain it all back, so when things happen in my life, as in 2010, that prompted me (not an excuse) to slack off on the work it takes to maintain a weight loss (although the gain did not really turn up on the scale until this past summer), I get religion and start the work to annihilate those regain demons.
My weight, which I no longer post on the internet 'cause sometimes people feel like commenting on it lol, is a matter between me and my health care providers. I intend to get to my goal by March 25, 2012, and I do consider myself in maintenance, though now in a maintaining by losing regain status.
Re BMI, I just log the numbers as I do my weight, measurements, calories, exercise and etc. I don't find it stressful. I feel happy about doing it.
Yea, let's just keep on keepin' on (to steal a line I see in one o' the posties)!
Amarantha: I like your take on maintenance. When I get to my "final" maintenance stage, I will try to take on a similar perspective when dealing with regains, because I know they will happen! My hope is my regains will be manageable (i.e., something I can take off in 2 or 3 weeks), but life has no guanrantees.
But yes, as old Steve Miller says, we can give up or we can "keep on keepin' on"
Last edited by NorthernExposure; 11-07-2011 at 09:46 AM.
I think the BMI standards for women are pretty accurate, but I do wonder about men. My DH is currently about 212 lbs. The BMI charts say he should weigh around 180. I seriously don't know where the extra 32 lbs would come from! He's 6' tall, definitely "big" boned and has a lot of muscle mass. (No, he's not a greek god, lol., but he used to play football in his younger days. His thighs and shoulders, especially, are huge.) He's wearing a size 35 pants. Sure, he's got a few soft spots he wants to work on, but 30 more lbs?
Me, on the other hand, you can definitely tell I need to lose 30 more lbs (if not more). I'm still big around the middle (ugh, WHY is the stomach so stubborn??), and it sure ain't muscle, ha!
DH is also over 6' tall and when I met him he was at a "healthy" BMI but he was a twig!!! In terms of looks he actually looks best about 10-20lbs overweight and he's like your DH- large frame+muscles. I have heard, though, that when you get to taller individuals the stats are so poor that BMI holds less meaning (no clue how true that is, I'm just repeating what I heard!). It makes sense too because the original BMI studies were done awhile back and since our population is getting taller they probably had even worse stats on taller individuals.
ETA: And if you figure out how to get rid of a stupid stubborn stomach, PLEASE let me know!
Last edited by runningfromfat; 11-07-2011 at 11:40 AM.
You have come a long way. I could not agree more with you--why on earth would you stop now?
As you have travelled the views have gotten better and better haven't they? You are going up a mountain and every now and again you have caught a glimpse of the views from the trees. You know the view from the top is the best. It sounds to me like you are destined for it.
Thighs, thank you so much! What a beautiful way to put it. And congrats on your loss, wow, amazing!!
Running: I've heard similar things, also that athletes (males, especially, who have more capacity to build larger muscle mass than females) can be considered "overweight" or even "obese" by the BMI charts, but are actually in great shape. I suppose the only way to know for sure would be to have your body fat % measured by a doctor (or nutritionist or someone qualified to do it accurately). But as a layperson, I do know my DH would look really "weird" at 180 lbs. Just wouldn't fit his build at all.
Last edited by NorthernExposure; 11-07-2011 at 03:00 PM.
I understand the temptation of settling for "just good enough" weight loss all too well. This summer I took a break from very strict portion control and daily exercise and hit a plateau (around 184 lbs) for months. For a while I considered letting myself stay at that weight my body seemed to settle into so easily but now I realize how skewed my thinking was and how important reaching goal (high-end healthy bmi) really is to me, even if for the simple fact of making that goal all the way.
In my case, I actually do have a large frame with large and wide ribcage, hipbones, prominent collarbones, very large feet and hands... so for now, my goal is the high end of my height's bmi. Maybe I'll adjust it once I reach 160, but I plan to maintain 160 for a few months before making any decisions about further loss.
I find online photo galleries fascinating because even people of the same height can look vastly different at the same weight. It's true BMI isn't the be-all end-all guideline for everyone but I think is a great place to consider making goal.
Here are a few galleries ya'll might find interesting:
Very interesting links, Riesz, thanks for sharing! Thanks for sharing your story as well. I definitely know what it's like to be stuck at the same weight (either intentionally or unintentionally) forever!
I think we all know that BMI and "normal" weight ranges are guidelines. There actually is a different scale for athletes, but I don't know how to figure it. But . . . the bottom line is this - these stats come from medical and insurance records and are indicators of overall health and risk for certain diseases and problems. We are so used to looking at overweight people in general, and ourselves in particular, that I think we lose sight of what really is "normal" as far as weight goes.
Overall, I had no health issues when I weighed 252 pounds. BP, cholesterol, etc., were all normal. I had an "episode" while shoveling snow at work about 2 years ago where I felt woozy and it didn't pass. My boss literally made me go to the doctor's to get checked out. They did a mess of stress and heart tests and all were normal. The tech doing the stress test on the treadmill even commented that I was very fit. I said, "For a chubby girl." And he said, "No. Most people can't get to this part of the test without gasping and hanging on for dear life." Every test came back normal, so we'll never know what happened - maybe my breakfast didn't sit right! My point is this - I had no health reason to lose weight, though I know in the long run it is WAY healthier to weigh 160 than to weigh 252. So I guess it's all pretty much vanity for me! (I try very hard to hide the fact that I'm so shallow LOL.) And at 252 pounds, I was just a few pounds under a BMI of 40, which is morbidly obese.
I am accepting the fact that my skin is bagging. I don't know if anything would have changed that. I am accepting the fact that I probably won't get to 150 pounds. But it isn't because I can't. It's because I'm not going to for now. I don't think that this is simply "good enough." I think it's the best I can be for now. If a doctor told me I had to lose more weight for health reasons, I guess I would. But I'd rather be this weight and look 50 (on a good day) than lose 10 more pounds and look older than 60!
I think we are all doing so much to improve our health and physical appearance. We are so hard on ourselves sometimes, and we don't deserve that. Especially not from ourselves! I can't tell you how much I admire each and every one of you (of US) for doing what we're doing. I know that I would have lost momentum if I had maintained for the summer. I had to to this full blast or it wouldn't have worked. For me. Our goals are all different. Mine is different than it was in January! We'll all get there sooner or later. Accepting what we can do and then doing it is the bigger part of the battle.
