[vdander24]

My chance to do a little "soap box time"
I have noticed in the last couple of days that the readers on 3fc have a very wide view of what support is. The result of that sometimes is defensiveness, anger, and sarcasm.
I am smiling here because reading the posts makes me feel like I am listening to a pretty close group of friends who have been together for a long time. I wouldn't have thought that possible in such a large forum, so I feel pretty lucky.

Just to clear things up for me.. Support is encouraging me when possible, but support is also holding me accountable. Support is a pillow with a backbone. It is something that holds me up, and gives me something strong to lean on.

I have more than 100 lbs to lose, and more importantly, I have a life that I need to be healthy enough to live. I haven't done it on my own yet, so I need all the support I can get.

MY SUPPORT PLEDGE
1. Ask me the tough questions, and give me your opinion.
2. Do not judge me, but absolutely question methods and procedures
3. Encourage me and let me know I am not alone.
4. Give me the TRUTH, even if it is difficult to hear.

Here is what I promise to do for you;

1. I will sincerely read your responses and analyze them objectively
2. I wil NOT be rude or defensive, because getting healthy is more important than being petty.
3. I will read posts, and answer honestly if I have something to offer
4. I will take a deep breath before replying to an emotional thread
5. I will not judge you personally, but I will offer an opinion, if I think it can be helpful
6. I will be grateful that I have a place to come to get the support I need to really be healthy long-term.

PHeew! Feels better to get that off my chest. Have a great day.

[Onederchic]

[shcirerf]

Well said!

[beerab]

Sometimes I feel people want us to say "oh yeah go ahead and starve yourself, it's the best way to lose..." or "oh yeah you don't have to count calories or exercise... Just keep doing what made you gain 100+ lbs in the first place, things should change!"

[Rosinante]

"Pillow with a backbone" - exactly!

[DixC Chix]

Vdander -Amen!!

[Eliana]

Well put Guys!

I think the kicks in the butt are fine and needed. It's also quite alright to come back and say, "Thanks but [enter my unique situation]". I've done that many, many times. I don't expect anyone else to know the ins and outs of Eliana.

[Gale02]

Well said! I also agree with Eliana, this is a place to get and give advice and not all of it will be welcome or pertinent. We always have to adjust things for our completely unique situation.

[jls0867]

yeah vdander...could i get that printed on a t-shirt??? We all have choices to make in EVERY moment of our journey! I'd choose you to be on my team anyday!!

[vdander24]

Thanks Everyone!! It is great to know I am not alone. NOW... I expect to hear from you, when I am whining and making excuses. A kick in the pants is what I'll need if I mean to be healthy!
jls0867 - Cool! I am in for the team :-)

[SCraver]

That is so VERY well said!!